Struggling with being a Practicing Catholic

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shudane

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Hello all,

My post is a number of questions seeking guidance.

I suppose the best way to start this is by telling you a little of my situation.

I am a 34 year old Catholic. I’d like to think I’m a practicing Catholic but over the last number of weeks I’ve struggled to practice. I’m struggling with all aspects, Prayer, Reconciliation and Attending Mass. I still have a strong belief in Catholicism as the one true religion but for some reason I just don’t seem to have the motivation to go to Church.

It’s something I’ve struggled with for a few years now. I go through phases of being the almost perfect catholic, then the wheels fall off and I go back to being the almost perfect “anti” catholic if you know what I mean.

I feel a little lost. Life on the surface is good for me. I have a good job, a great Family and I don’t have much in the line of financal burden. I still feel however there is something missing in my life. That I’m somehow not going down the path I should be and if I am I’m certainly at a crossroads in that path. The problem is I seem to be going around in Circles. I seem to fall into the same traps over and over again.

I also believe I have some self inflicted issues. And I believe the root of them is something psycological. But I don’t know where to start or what it is that is causing this circle movement.

Bottom Line is I think I would like to get a spiritual director or a Catholic Life coach that can help me p(name removed by moderator)oint the root of my problems. I know that ultimately I’m the root of the problem and I try hard not to blame anyone else for that.

this post might not make much sense but it helps me and if only one person understands it then maybe thats enough.

so what are my problems?

Well as I said when I attend Mass, Confessions etc… I find that life is wonderful. But when I don’t the wheels come off. For example I’m overweight, when I go to Mass and practice as a Catholic then eating healhily and exercising is no problem for me. But Vice Versa when I don’t practice my faith I find it next to impossible to do any of that.

So why do I stop practicing. Thats the thing I would like to know myself?
 
I have a few thoughts:

Often an act of the will to do those actions we know we should but don’t “feel like doing” shows more love and dedication than doing them when we happy to.

Spiritual direction probably couldn’t hurt

These difficult times of low motivation sound similar to depression symptoms. It might be a good idea to get evaluated by a professional to rule that out.
 
Interesting topic…

Years ago shortly after getting married, my wife put on some weight. This upset her as she was always thin. I jokingly told her that it was because", “contentment is fattening”.

The reason I mention this is because some of the things that you speak of indicate that once you become content, you can become - - how shall we say - - lazy?? Sorry - hope that’s not too blunt.
Truthfully we all do this, We see things we’d like to change and get motivated to do so but then we have trouble keeping up with our new regimen .

I don’t think there is anything wrong with you…at least nothing that isn’t also wrong with a great many others who are trying to grow in their spiritual life.

A coach can be a very good idea - or just a good trusted friend.

Or you can just come around here a lot and talk, grouse, brag, ask questions or whatever. Lots of good support to be had here.

Peace
James
 
Have you tried speaking to one of your parish priests for spiritual direction. You may even want to find out if your parish offers Adult Faith Formation classes for you to attend.
 
Something you might find helpful is volunteering, that can be done through the church or not. Often, you don’t have to commit to more than one event. It might be helpful from a gratitude standpoint.
 
Hi shudane,
You didn’t mention much about your prayer life, your relationship with Jesus. Can you say anything about these?
 
shudane said:
Hello all,

My post is a number of questions seeking guidance.

I suppose the best way to start this is by telling you a little of my situation.

I am a 34 year old Catholic. I’d like to think I’m a practicing Catholic but over the last number of weeks I’ve struggled to practice. I’m struggling with all aspects, Prayer, Reconciliation and Attending Mass. I still have a strong belief in Catholicism as the one true religion but for some reason I just don’t seem to have the motivation to go to Church.

It’s something I’ve struggled with for a few years now. I go through phases of being the almost perfect catholic, then the wheels fall off and I go back to being the almost perfect “anti” catholic if you know what I mean.

I feel a little lost. Life on the surface is good for me. I have a good job, a great Family and I don’t have much in the line of financal burden. I still feel however there is something missing in my life. That I’m somehow not going down the path I should be and if I am I’m certainly at a crossroads in that path. The problem is I seem to be going around in Circles. I seem to fall into the same traps over and over again.

I also believe I have some self inflicted issues. And I believe the root of them is something psycological. But I don’t know where to start or what it is that is causing this circle movement.

Bottom Line is I think I would like to get a spiritual director or a Catholic Life coach that can help me p(name removed by moderator)oint the root of my problems. I know that ultimately I’m the root of the problem and I try hard not to blame anyone else for that.

this post might not make much sense but it helps me and if only one person understands it then maybe thats enough.

so what are my problems?

Well as I said when I attend Mass, Confessions etc… I find that life is wonderful. But when I don’t the wheels come off. For example I’m overweight, when I go to Mass and practice as a Catholic then eating healhily and exercising is no problem for me. But Vice Versa when I don’t practice my faith I find it next to impossible to do any of that.

So why do I stop practicing. Thats the thing I would like to know myself?
Click to expand...
My husband went through this a while back. Everything
went well when he got to Mass but he had a kazillion
reasons why he couldn’t get to Mass. He was a once
a weekender and couldn’t do it.
Our priest told him to go to one or two daily masses
instead. I don’t know why that worked except at daily
mass the atmosphere is a bit different. In our parish
the daily mass people are totally quiet totally regular
and faithful and at least twenty years older than my
husband. after two weeks of this he now attends Mass
seven days a week! Lol.
He then subscribed to the Magnificat so he could
be prepared for each Mass the night before, joined
a spiritual prayer group, joins me in the Rosary every night
which was a huge surprise to me, etc etc.

Two weeks of dragging himself once or twice a week
to daily mass turned him completely around.
 
You need a daily spiritual routine to give you consistency and awaken your faith. I highly recommend praying part of the Liturgy of the Hours, which is the official prayer of the Church. It gives you stability as it leads you through the Church year. It is online and easy to follow here: DivineOffice. I recommend Morning and Evening Prayer to start. Each only takes about 10 to 15 minutes. You can read it silently if you wish. Also pray with your family. Start with family meals with a simple prayer of blessing. Get the kids to offer their own prayer intentions. Pray with your spouse. In short, make it a family affair.

Also, no matter how much you want to stay home on a Sunday (or Saturday evening) go to weekly Mass. The reason you are going in spiritual circles is that you are spiritually starving yourself, and like a hungry, lost soul in the desert, you are wandering around, wondering why you feel hollow and alone, yes? So, feed your soul, your heart, and your mind by attending weekly Mass. And read good spiritual books and articles. Your parish probably has a gift shop with many easy to read books/pamphlets you can buy for very little cost. And take advantage of any spiritual retreats/missions/Bible studies your parish offers. Get involved in a ministry of interest and get to know people in the parish. The more you feel like you fit in the more you will want to go.

God bless you, I will offer my daily prayers for you today. 🙂
 
Make a commitment to do things that add grace. Mass at least once a week, but do a daily mass also, I do Saturday AM (intimacy of a mass with few people there is special) Commit to saying the rosary every day, read the bible 15 minutes a day and say the rosary (i use the scriptural rosary mp3’s from youtube. Seems like serious time but it isn’t. Add one of these activities a month and you will see the difference.
 
hi,
i have read your story with interest/(would you be willing to re-name your thread as a life lesson learned, not earned?) Oh you know?-one’s bad health being challenged is a reasonable thing that , as a struggle with health, may involve decisons to not go to mass. i am suprised that our fellow catholics did not admit a percent of your ‘problem’’ as expressed in their lives. it happens to everyone on the calander/ well do you really have a problem?don’t we all have a problem?..well i don’t think you are lazy/ i think you are brave to admit there is something wrong/ i have been there in your spot…the trend is familiar in my life…until something terrible happens…that is part of the trend; in other words, life can be tough-just when i am complacient; then, something a life changing event happens/ then, i return to an ambition to go to mass/ if i have been away a while, the confession is the first place to go…and it works wonderfully/ the question-then is a paradigm shift from :“what is my problem…?” to " What works?" or " what is my impulse to stay away from mass?" i suppose it boils down to the word ‘need’; i need God afteral…(i become weary of being so camoflouged from God-by the cloak i chose to wear-so i may ask God-can you find me hidden, while my soul takes a nap- awake my passive soul? sure he reples-and he sets the alarm clock)

-the paradigm might shift…“would conscience be formed best in a man of God if one returns to church?” “Does it improve on prayer life?” a model of prayer is Mary-a belief in Mary might help to review impulses…changing to knowing the self efficacy of prayer, and praying for others at mass where you go-is a good life lesson…today, meanwhile, in your own technique of prayer-just ask for a gift in the smallest terms-and you will get it…
 
There’s a reason it’s called being a **practicing ** Catholic, vs being called a “skillfully exceeding expectations” Catholic.

We are all humans, and imperfect. It is through PRACTICE that we become stronger and more proficient in our faith.
 
marywarfield said:
My husband went through this a while back. Everything
went well when he got to Mass but he had a kazillion
reasons why he couldn’t get to Mass. He was a once
a weekender and couldn’t do it.
Our priest told him to go to one or two daily masses
instead. I don’t know why that worked except at daily
mass the atmosphere is a bit different. In our parish
the daily mass people are totally quiet totally regular
and faithful and at least twenty years older than my
husband. after two weeks of this he now attends Mass
seven days a week! Lol.
He then subscribed to the Magnificat so he could
be prepared for each Mass the night before, joined
a spiritual prayer group, joins me in the Rosary every night
which was a huge surprise to me, etc etc.

Two weeks of dragging himself once or twice a week
to daily mass turned him completely around.
Click to expand...
How wonderful! Thanks for sharing that. I attend daily Mass and confirm that it helps the desire to grow spiritually, and I have met many new friends. Like-minded people form great community, and we help each other stay focused.

Our pastor gives the daily Mass goers the Magnificat every month, and we all appreciate that very much. The prayers and articles are inspiring, and also the descriptions of famous art. We also say the Rosary after Mass, and we find out easily who is ill and needs a visit and prayers.
 
Shudane,
two things: one is consolations–when we begin something, God gives us good feelings about it to encourage us. But after a bit, He expects us to walk on our own–are we doing what we do because God is giving us good feelings or because we love God enough to do what we need to do to show that love even when we don’t get the consolations?

Another aspect of the spiritual life is that we have our ups and downs. Tyere are times when we feel happy and energized about what we are doing, and there are times when we feel sluggish and even slightly repelled by the effort it will take. One could see it as a train rolling along, sometimes going downhill lickety-split, and other times having to chug up the hill.

I have been hit by these. There are times when I really struggle with praying the Rosary each day (a struggle I have lost all too often).

Two last points: if we are not growing in the Faith, we are deteriorating, and we cannot do it without relying on God rather than on ourselves. So we have to keep an eye out that what we are doing is sufficient to keep us growing (being fed as another poster put it), and we have to check to make sure we are relying on God ratyer than on ourselves.

A good discussion of the last point is in Dom Scupoli’s book Spiritual Combat, which can be found online (let me know if you need a link).
 
Yes, that book Spiritual Combat is a good book!

I just want to mention one more thing, it might have already been mentioned but it deserves mentioning again.

It is important to have a group of Catholics also seeking to increase their faith life that meet together, possibly once a week. It is very supportive, and necessary for good community life. Good bible studies enable great discussions, and many times your parish or a neighboring parish may have a Day of Reflection on various spiritual subjects. That is why I like to go on line and find out which neighboring parishes are having such events. Then I tell my interested friends and we all attend, and that parish is happy to attract members of other parishes.
 
hembergb said:
Hi shudane,
You didn’t mention much about your prayer life, your relationship with Jesus. Can you say anything about these?
Click to expand...
Hi hembergb,

Much like the rest of my faith it goes in circles. I used to get the bus to work which took over an hour. When I got that I used to pray the rosary twice a day along with my morning and evening prayers. I felt close to Jesus but since I got my car, which Ironically I got to go to Mass as the Bus doesn’t run on a Sunday I’ve stopped doing that.

As James has said and I think he hit the nail on the head, It’s laziness or possibly being disorganised. Probably a little from Column A and a little from Column B.

Thanks Everyone for the Super responses. I still haven’t had enought time to read throught them all but I’m going to make that my goal for this evening. That and get a confession :).
 
jamaro said:
I have a few thoughts:

Often an act of the will to do those actions we know we should but don’t “feel like doing” shows more love and dedication than doing them when we happy to.

Spiritual direction probably couldn’t hurt

These difficult times of low motivation sound similar to depression symptoms. It might be a good idea to get evaluated by a professional to rule that out.
Click to expand...
Hi Jamaro,

you are somewhat correct in your dignosis he he. I do suffer from a mental illness, Bipolar, I’m dealing with it really well at present. I’m on a mild drug for it and it helps. However the downside to the meds is that they tend to demotivate me. I’ve mentioned this to the doctor a number of times and they don’t seem to fussed. However over the last few months when I was practicing every day I found that the motivation levels were much higher, which leads me to believe that a spiritual director or possibly even a Christian Psycholigist may make a difference.

I have seen a spirtiual director in the Past and I found it a huge benefit. He was terrific. However he has since moved to Ireland and me to England in a role reversal and I don’t get to see him much these days.
 
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