Struggling with Contraception

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Tiago92

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My partner and I cannot have a baby for 1 year because economic and work difficulties

NFP can fail. Its doesnt seem fair tfor example that Evangélicals who use a condomn do not commit mortal sin (and can go to Heaven) and we Catholics DO commit mortal sin and go to Hell. Its like an advantage or something like that yo be a Evangelical or be ignorant about Church teaching

Also it bothers me that using a condom is equal to murder or rape in the sense that Its hard for me to understand that I would deserve hell just like any of those people. It doesnt seems fair

Please help
 
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Tiago92 said:
My partner and I cannot have a baby for 1 year because economic and work difficulties

NFP can fail. Its not fair that for example Evangélicals who use a condomn do not commit mortal sin (and can go to Heaven) and we DO commit mortal sin and go to Hell. Its like an advange or something like that

Also it bothers me that using a condom is equal to murder or rape in the sense that Its hard for me to understand that I would deserve hell just like any of two people. It doesnt seems fair

Please help
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Well, sin is a sin. But I think trying to make it sound better because there are obvious social ramifications whereas contraception causes hidden troubles.

And if you’ve hung around baby boards for any length of time you’ll discover that IUD’s fail, condoms fail, hormone pills fail–sometimes in conjunction.

Good NFP can work. I forget the poster but there’s one who has a severe heart condition who has successfully used NFP for decades.

NFP isn’t easy. It can be incredibly hard, but it is worth it. If you’re worried about it failing, take classes on different methods until you find one that best suits you.
 
What about your PARTNER? Why is your partner not married to you? If you are having sex with someone who is not your spouse you are having sex outside of marriage, right? How are you going to 'splain that to Jesus? St. Paul said fornicators and adulterers will not enter heaven. A lot of us are in trouble without contraceptives… right?
 
worried about sinning with contraception but not worried about sinning with sex out of wedlock? why is that?
 
Xystus said:
worried about sinning with contraception but not worried about sinning with sex out of wedlock? why is that?
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I didn’t catch where the OP said they are currently having sex. Did I miss something?
 
The Church’s teaching is about how to conform yourself to Christ, to uphold Christian virtues, to transform your soul and allow Christ to live within you.

The Church isn’t trying to assign a list of arbitrary rules, it’s teaching the way to union with God. Marriage is about the total giving of self to the partner, and that is emphasized most strongly when husband and life become one flesh and participate in the act that God creates new human life through. We give ourselves entirely to our partner, as Christ did on the cross for his Church, and as he does when we receive him in the Eucharist. Marriage images the relationship between God and His Church, and also the relationship of the Holy Trinity.
 
Oh come on. What type of “catholic” fórum is this? I write about a legitimate concern, and you already asumme im having sex… Even if that were true, I do not ask about it… I know fornication Its a mortal sin… Its for every Christian! Contraception Its diferent in the sense that its only a mortal sin for us…
 
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maybe i read into something that was not intended. the “cannot have a baby for 1 year” seemed to imply sex was involved but maybe not.
 
Xystus said:
maybe i read into something that was not intended. the “cannot have a baby for 1 year” seemed to imply sex was involved but maybe not.
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I think you did. He’s worried about the future, not the present–which makes sense. Currently, no sex is the solution to no baby.
 
i guess i took it the wrong way. i apologize.

your post was not exactly clear though. maybe instead of “My partner and I cannot have a baby for 1 year” (“partner” does seem to imply something else these days, at least to me) you could have said “my fiancee and are having trouble with understand why we cant use contraception to avoid becoming pregnant after we get married”
 
Tiago92 said:
Also it bothers me that using a condom is equal to murder or rape in the sense that Its hard for me to understand that I would deserve hell just like any of those people. It doesn’t seems fair
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I think it’s important to remember that the marital act is a gift from God to sustain two purposes. We need to not change the act to meet our purposes instead of what God intended it for.

The way I look at it is that no Catholic would have a dinner at a parish, look around for something to put cheese on and then go to the Tabernacle to grab some hosts. Even going to the sacristy to grab unconsecrated hosts and wine would make most Catholics blanch.Why? Because those things are set aside for a sacred purpose. While they are true food and drink we never treat them as less than what they should be. Likewise the marital act is not purely recreational or for entertainment. To contracept is to try denying one of the key aspects of God intended purpose for this gift he has given us.

Do you think misusing God gift of the marital act is in anyway less offensive than to use the Body of Christ as part of an hors d’oeuvre? I don’t mean that to be critical or snide, but to get you to think of what exactly we are talking about; the true depth of what underlies your difficulties. It’s important to remember that the procreative aspect of the marital union allows man and woman to participate with God in his power of creation. With that in mind we have to be very cognizant that to reject that is to reject a gift of God’s love and His invitation to participate with Him is such a profound way.

It’s also important to remember that ALL Christians condemned contraception as morally corrupt until 1930. After the 1930 Anglican Lambert conference, Christians left and right jettisoned that belief. It is a continuing pattern of stripping back faith to remove any difficulties in life.

Part of growing in Faith is not simply to look for the easiest road. Christ could very well have chosen to reject His human nature and stepped away from the bodily pains and torments along the road to Calvary, but He didn’t. Everything he did was an act of Love and in obedience to His Father’s will. In the same way the trials and tribulations of NFP should be seen as things we do out of love of our spouse and love of Him who suffered for us. It is not easy and it is not always fun, but remember that our choices are not about this moment or tomorrow, but rather our ultimate destination of Heaven.
 
A Protestant who is a Protestant because they “allow” birth control is a pretty poor sort of Christian, so I wouldn’t be thinking about it as a loophole. If you go down that route, the only sensible thing is to make sure that no one is ever informed as to what constitutes sin, because then they could never commit a mortal sin!

No contraception method is perfect, remember that. Hormonal methods have some risks and side effects (although they do have some health benefits, too), and some of them can increase your odds of preventing implantation of a fertilized egg. Condoms have a similar failure rate as does NFP, and they don’t make sex as enjoyable; diaphragms are a pain and not that easy to obtain; sterilization has health risks for whichever person pursues it. If you ever have relations, do realize that such relations may result in a baby, whatever countermeasures you take.
 
This will sound like a platitude, and I apologize for that, but I’ve been thinking of your comparison the the Catholic versus the evangelical. (Also, culpability and whether a sin is mortal is more complicated than presented, but your point is still taken).

It is hard not to feel negative sometimes. The ignorant “get to” break the rules and have fun and more “liberty” while those of us faithful Catholics are bound by all these “rules”. I don’t claim to be perfect, but it seems to me that’s the wrong mindframe. We as Catholics get to, if we follow the Church, conform ourselves more closely to Christ in our lives. We get to walk more closely with God (or at least have access to more knowledge and graces that allow us to do so). We get to be closer with God, and that’s something we should try to look positively on and be grateful for, not something we should resent. The ignorant are off running directionless through the woods, while we have the way (road) to walk with God towards the very thing God created us for. Many of those running lost might be gathered in eventually, but who truly has had the better portion?

It’s hard, and it certainly comes with its own worldly burdens which shouldn’t be discounted, but God is trying to help us be better people, not bind us. How wonderful that should feel.
 
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As a couple that understands how God’s plan for us is supposed to work, I’m super-glad about Natural Family Planning. It works, works great, and can work even better the more detailed you get into it. Join up with a family planning network and get all the goodies that are involved. It’s not as simple as it may seem, though it can be practiced with simplicity and no real need to understand the whole thing.

One: there is a lot more detail and you have the ability to monitor the cycle to make thing so much easier to control

Two: this is the odd one, but as many of us know, sometimes we get the greatest Joy out of suffering or enduring stuff. During the times you’ll practice abstinence, the “suffering” you’ll get will get added to your “good” bank and when it’s go time, the reward will be so much more than anything you could have done.

NFP is by far superior to any contraception because the control is in the people and not a device, and we can’t accept contraception because it’s not God’s plan for us.

Find a good, Catholic, NFP specialist in your area. They go by several names, I can’t remember any of them at the moment … but the usccb has a good starting point … http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-act...tural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/methods.cfm

Best of luck and may God bless your upcoming marriage, so excited! My wife does not read these forums, but Marriage is a truly wonderful sacrament. Remember, happiness can come from suffering, so in my marriage, I’m REALLY Happy, LOL (just kidding for reals)
 
Why would you assume they are not married? The original post does not say if OP is married, but it is not charitable to assume that they aren’t married. Some people refer to their spouse as their partner. In this case, the OP is not married and is speaking about the future, but even without that information there was no reason to assume that premarital sex is involved.
 
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