Struggling with my faith after something my aunt said

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and it’s not that other religions have bad ideals or teachings.

Many things taught in Zoroastrianism or Buddhism or Hinduism are true and good and beautiful.

But we believe the Catholic Church teaches perfect ideals without blemish or error because She is Divine.

We believe say Muslims and Buddhists believe in certain things which are imperfect or perhaps untrue since their beliefs are man-made and subject to error and the darkness of mans fallen state.
 
There is a lot of good insight and advice in this thread. What a great forum we have! 🙂
 
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I have heard of a theologian losing faith before. It’s not surprising, in fact it’s surprising that I haven’t heard of more theologians losing their faith.

The endless questioning is bound to raise stumbling blocks. I try to keep it simple, not dumb, just simple.
 
Remember, just because someone is close to you doesn’t make her right.

If your words will not change her beliefs, neither should hers change yours.
 
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Thanks so much for both your posts. I’m trying to reply to everyone but I’m getting so many responses its hard to keep up! Not complaining though, its really helpful to read what others think. I’m feeling better already just reading everyone’s replies so I really appreciate it.

You’re right about my aunt… she’s 64, she’s my mom’s oldest sister, and joined her community sometime in the 70s. She’s been a spiritual director for about 30 years, and runs retreats out of a Benedictine monastery near me. She also teaches people how to be spiritual directors. She has a lot of directees and people she trains who aren’t Catholic. Not that that’s wrong necessarily, but I never really thought about the implications of that until now.

When my mom was still alive they didn’t get along so well. My mother was really into being a traditional Catholic and used to have these bad arguments with my aunt, kind of like the argument I just had with her. And not to bash my mother AT ALL, I loved my mom, but she had a lot of malice towards anything that was not strictly traditional and she could be really uncharitable about it. The fights used to kind of traumatize me, not sure why they fought in front of me. But anyhow I remember at one point my mom told me my aunt wasn’t even a real Catholic, and I shouldn’t listen to her. But then my mom died (I was 8) and all I really remembered were the awful fights, and how my mom seemed unkind to my aunt, who was nearly 20 years older and seemed more in control of things than my mom.

Now though I’m kind of seeing how my mom had a point, maybe she didn’t communicate it very well at the time, but she was only in her 20s, just a bit older than me. But I see how she was right in some ways. Now I’m seeing it from her perspective, which is why I said earlier than I feel kind of dumb and naive… like why didn’t I realize this before? My aunt has always been so kind to me though, and when I really think about it now, I can totally see lots of times where she said things against priests or the Church but I just put it out of my mind because she’s my aunt and I love her. And she’s never really said directly to me like what she said 2 weeks ago, its the first time so it was kind of shocking. I still love her, but I’m kind of seeing her more as just like a regular person now.
 
Yes ikr!!! I’m so grateful and so happy I posted, I’m seriously feeling so much better since reading the opinions of other Catholics. I had been keeping the whole thing to myself for the last couple of weeks, but I feel a great sense of relief now.
 
Oh for sure I believe anyone can go to heaven, and that God gives everyone the grace to be saved, regardless of their religion. It just really surprised me to hear my aunt say that God wasn’t really a part of any religion, especially since she’s a nun. I don’t get her point of view, or even why she’s still a nun or still a member of the Church even. Maybe I just don’t know enough about it but just seems odd to me.
 
Yes, she definitely does still believe in God, very strongly. I have no doubt about that. But I believe Jesus is God and from what she said it kind of sounded to me like she was saying she doesn’t believe in Jesus. And she’s a nun. (?) I just found it really confusing and disturbing. And as to your other comment, yeah maybe she has lost her faith, I don’t really know. It makes me sad though.
 
Thanks, that’s a really good point. I think until now I really did just believe without question everything she said and just kind of assumed she believed the same as me. I mean she’s been especially helpful to me through my illness and I really love her a lot. So its hard to think about her not sharing the same faith as me, especially since I’ve always looked up to her. But yeah, I don’t need to listen to her. I think I will go talk to a priest after all. I don’t know any of the priests here very well, but there are 4 priests really close to me, its just never occurred to me to really talk to any of them.
 
You know not long ago I was offered spiritual directorship by a particular group of nuns and my priest warned me not to do it. Actually the reasons he gave were similar to what @Tis_Bearself mentioned, these nuns formed their community in the sixties and were unconventional in many ways.

Lots of people say the oddest things. Maybe they overthink and don’t have access to a spiritual director who could perhaps guide them. Also there are many questions which we won’t know the answers to until later, if ever. This is why it’s called faith after all, and our faith is The Faith.
 
I know it’s difficult when someone you trust and believe in starts sharing view points which completely contradict what you hold to be true. Especially from someone of the faith.

Unfortunately many members of the clergy are products of their time and teachings. Which during the 70’s through the 90’s were very liberal and heterodox. I don’t wish to start a debate on such topics, but the proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

It sounds like your aunt may be one of those individuals who subscribes to a belief system that is not in line with authentic Catholic teachings. In reality it’s not difficult to hold views that are not sympathetic to the church and yet still call yourself a catholic or even be a member of the clergy. You begin to rationalize your beliefs with other like minded individuals and then you choose to view the Church as a man-made organization, this gives you further support for your opinions because it allows you to see fault and imperfections in an institution which is supposed to be the pillar and foundation of truth.

So really all you need to do is make TRUTH relative and then you can mold it and shape it to your own whims. The Church is filled with hard sayings and teachings that demand our faith, not our rationale.

Just remember like it mentions in John 6, “This is a hard saying, who can listen to it?” “… after this many of his disciples went back; and walked no more with him”.
 
Sounds like relativism to me. According to Our Catechism, the Church is the Arc to Heaven. All other religions maybe sail boats and row boats in navigating life, but the Church is the Vessel that conrains ALL truth and PERFECTLY navigates the seas of life.

Saying a prayer for you today and will be praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for your “Nun” Aunt.
 
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I just googled relativism and YES wow that’s my aunt!! I hadn’t heard of it, I guess I need to learn a few things, but yeah that really sounds like her. Thanks so much for your prayers!
 
Back in the 70’s around here, people of authority came into the churches. They removed the stations of the cross, the statues had to go, the crucifix left and some modern resurrected Christ (that did not even look like a human being) came in. The kneelers were pulled out and parishioners were told they had to stand. (No kneeling in a Catholic church?) The tabernacle was removed to put into some room on the side, out of sight. It left people saying ‘who are these people who are dismantling the churches?’ There used to be confessions every Saturday morning to prepare for Sunday mass, and those disappeared, replaced by confessions by appointment only. What??

The church is the means by which Jesus forgives and heals us in confession, and he feeds us with his body and blood for our journey. The church has many enemies on the outside but the ones that come inside the church and dismantle it are much more treacherous. Don’t be fooled because they are a priest or a nun. The devil has a great interest in pulling them off course. Why? Because they are in positions of trust and have the ability to build the faithful and strengthen them to go out into the world. Twist their faith and it will impact a lot of people.

By no means ask her what she meant, maybe there was a misunderstanding. You already know from her history with your mother that your mother defended the faith!

1 Corinthians 3
10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

Continue to grow in your faith. By uniting your suffering to the Crucified Lord, you can gain great merit for yourself and the world which is so very desperate for graces. You are a soldier for Christ! You have received an unexpected hit by the enemy because of your trust of your aunt. You know now that her words will pull you off course and cause you to crash. Do not give her a second opportunity to do that.

God be your strength today! May he guide you and keep you close.
 
Weird you mention modernism, because when my aunt told me to look up the meaning of “sensus fidelium” and that the Church needed to change with the times, I googled sensus fidelium and one of the first results was a YouTube channel of priest’s homilies that’s really traditional, similar to what my mom would have liked. I noticed its been discussed on CAF a few times. Anyhow I listened to a homily on modernism yesterday and it was really interesting and the priest spoke very clearly about it… it was so easy to understand what he was saying. I plan to listen to more homilies from there… pretty sure that’s not what my aunt intended when she said sensus fidelium but oh well. 😂
 
Sometimes people get so invested in Catholicism that they forget about God, imho, or they start thinking the two are synonymous. It’s possible to look all the rules and theories and definitions as an end in and of themselves instead of a means of growing closer to God.

Maybe that’s what your aunt was attempting to communicate and just put her foot in her mouth. Not that Catholicism as a system is bad by any means, but don’t get so wrapped up in the system/institution that you start thinking it’s the ultimate point.
 
No doubt, your aunt was sharing with you a perspective which says more about her journey in the Church than anything to do with the true nature of the Church. One might well express puzzlement at hearing a nun say that her Church is merely man-made. Indeed, one might ask that nun, “Why be a nun? Why continue to profess a faith founded on mere myth? Why participate is a lie?”

Surely, many have adopted that perspective in order to make sense of their unpleasant experiences of religion. If the experience of the institution is negative, then some come to the conclusion that God must not be involved, the institution must be man-made. But the counterpoint to this perspective is the very life of Christ. Christ shows us that God is so close to human affairs that he even took on our flesh, our suffering and our death to be near us and to bring us nearer to Him.

So, one must ask. If God is so absent as the source and summit of the Church, if the Church is merely a human concept, then why do so many across the centuries report God to be quite present in this “human” institution, in its Sacraments, in its teachings, in its scriptures, in its members? Are we to believe that these faithful, millions upon millions in number, have been so duped?

I have to wonder that if there was something in your deep expression of faith, especially in the midst of your suffering, which disturbed and challenged your aunt’s perspective. Why else would she need to engage in commentary so counter-intuitive and discomforting while visiting one who is sick?
 
Yeah its possible that she was thinking along those lines more. I’m not sure really, I haven’t discussed it with her further since our fight, its just too painful right now. I don’t have a problem with other people’s religions, I just really love being Catholic, and I thought she did too. Its strange to think that I might love being Catholic more than my aunt who has been a nun for 40 years.
 
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