Struggling with my faith after something my aunt said

[Tis_Bearself]

You really never had someone say something to you that you thought was outrageous, only to eventually learn that it was right?

Yes, but in my case it was not anyone saying religions are just “containers” that are pretty much all the same and that we don’t need to get to Heaven and should abandon as adults.
Rather, it was my mother constantly stressing the importance of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church in our salvation, and also reminding me of a host of Church teachings that I pooh-poohed as a young person but see a lot of sense in most of them now.

I will happily retract my remarks about “excessive devotion” if you and everyone else will stop trying to turn her aunt into someone to be feared. There is a strong personal relationship there that should be encouraged.

You must have missed the part of my post where I said

you should maintain a close family relationship with your aunt, but seek another spiritual director.

Not to mention all the posts where I am trying to explain to this young person, whose mom is not around to explain to her, the reasons why a religious sister of her aunt’s era may feel the way she does.

I have not said anywhere that her aunt is “someone to be feared” nor have I told her to cut off contact with her aunt, whom she no doubt loves very much despite their religious belief differences. Indeed, if Aunt is going through a time of spiritual dryness, it may well be Niece who brings her freshness and hope.

Most of the other people in this thread are saying things similar to myself.

Would you kindly read the threads you are commenting on, before making accusations of people posting things that they did not post?

 

[Rebecca97]

Thanks, I’m so tired of being sick! I think I’m having cabin fever and need to ask a friend to come over or something.

 

[Sedona]

I can only imagine your suffering and I truly hope you feel better and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

 

[Rebecca97]

Thanks for the passage you gave me, I just read it now, but I don’t really understand what you mean by waking up. Like what am I supposed to realize? To me the passage just says that Jesus and God are the most important things, but my aunt said that all religions are man made, so wouldn’t that mean that Jesus is just made up too, and she’s actually speaking against St. Paul? I’m confused.

 

[Rebecca97]

Sorry I still don’t understand what you’re saying really. Its not that I don’t think it applies, I just don’t get it. But that’s okay, I will just google it and read more about it.

 

[Rebecca97]

Thanks, I do feel more attracted to traditional things, at least for right now. I’m still feeling confused, though a lot better since everyone has tried to help. Actually it just occurred to me since writing about my friends at school that I could call my friend’s brother who is a diocesan priest now. He hasn’t been a priest very long but I grew up with him and he knows my family and my aunt. He used to babysit me even! So I know him pretty well… he might be good to talk to or at least could recommend a priest for me.

 

[Rebecca97]

Thanks so much everyone! I don’t think I’ve replied to everyone yet but I’ve tried to read and heart everyone’s comments. I will reply eventually, but I need to go offline and rest now. I so appreciate everyone’s responses to me, its been amazing!! I’m feeling a LOT better than I was when I first posted… everyone has given me so much to think about! I think I just needed to talk about it, I had been keeping it to myself for the last 2 weeks and feeling so awful. I decided I’m going to talk to my friend’s older brother who is a priest, I didn’t think about talking to him until I started posting on here. But he knows my aunt and he knows me pretty well too. He doesn’t live here but I can call him. Thanks again so so much!!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

 

[Start]

Think of how many “devout” Catholics lived in say the 1300’s yet who were incredibly evil, torturing and killing humans like bugs.

Those people aren’t actually devout, it is more of a misnomer. I guess that’s probably what you meant when you put the quotations.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I’m not sure why your auntie said that, because the Gospels clearly show that Jesus did, indeed, found this Church.

 

[Start]

30 minutes of meditation

How do you meditate?

 

[Rebecca97]

I’m not really good at it, I get distracted a lot, but basically I just read something either from scripture or a saint’s writings or listen to a short homily on YouTube, and then close my eyes and think about what I read or heard for about 30 minutes. I say 30 minutes because that’s how much I’m generally able to do before I get too distracted, tired or bored. It used to be only 10 minutes but I’ve worked my way up to 30 minutes.

For instance I recently listened to Bishop Sheen’s talk on the Trinity (its on YouTube) and then I thought about it and about the nature of God. Another time I just thought about all the ways God is like a Father to me. Usually thinking about whatever it is leads me to thinking about other things, like sometimes I realize something important about my life, or I think about how I can do something better. Then I’ll make notes on it afterwards, in this prayer journal I have.

 

[Dovekin]

Please do not worry about replying to me. You have enough on your mind.

 

[Tom7]

I think you need to make a distinction between Christ and the institution. Christ will always be true, most of the time people will let you down.

 

[Seagull]

I would of been broken-hearted too …

I like how your spirit is troubled because of this though -
It may be that your Holy Spirit - within - has been stirred up -
Pray for your peace first - I’m sure it’s a terribly overwhelming feeling.

 

[Lara]

I believe it’s very emotionally challenging to have your illness. Unfortunately many people say the wrong thing to people with an illness, increasing their suffering. In this case, the part about you not being five anymore would be very painful to hear. It’s a rather hurtful comment since you spend a lot of time delving into your faith. You are not blindly following like a child. But take solace in the fact that even if you did follow the Church like a child, you’d be doing the right thing.

In your shoes, I would probably realize your aunt could be anywhere on the spectrum from not really being a believing Catholic to being a Catholic close to the Church. I’d try to find out where she is on this spectrum.

 

[In_prayer]

1. Jesus said “and forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE OTHERS” ( this means we will be held accountable as we hold others accountable) as well as forgive others 7x70, love our neighbors as well as our enemies. Love your neighbor as yourself which means you’re supposed to treat your aunt like you want her to treat her not whimper like a little child. For Christ’s sake there are men who commanded armies ar your age when do you plan to grow up? Where is you mercy, humility, and forgiveness? Love your neighbor?
2. There is just as much if not more child sex abuse in the protestant evangelical church as the Catholic church (search it) so if you’re looking for an excuse to switch to a touchy, feely, feel good about yourself church sex scandal will be just as bad as over here. Only you don’t hear about it much because the founders wrote calvinist and the media is vastly protestant.

What happens in the protestant church is after a scandal the minister goes to prison or is sued, the members all leave for another church, and the church folds. Then the entire affair is swept under the rug. Its impossible to address or fix because they have no central authority as the catholic church does.

I love Carlo Carretto’s love letter to the church from his writings:

“How much I must criticize you, my church, and yet how much I love you!

You have made me suffer more than anyone and yet I owe more to you than to anyone. I should like to see you destroyed and yet I need your presence. You have given me much scandal and yet you alone have made me understand holiness.

Never in this world have I seen anything more compromised, more false, yet never have I touched anything more pure, more generous or more beautiful. Countless times I have felt like slamming the door of my soul in your face - and yet, every night, I have prayed that I might die in your sure arms!

No, I cannot be free of you, for I am one with you, even if not completely you. Then to where would I go? To build another church? But I could not build one without the same defects, for they are my defects. And again, if I were to build another church, it would be my church, not Christ’s church. No, I am old enough, I know better.”

 

[Bluebright]

It sure sounds like she needs your prayers. God bless. I hope you salvage the relationship and she finds her way back.

 

[Rebecca97]

Thanks so much! I was texting her again today, and I said sorry that we fought. She said she was sorry too, though we didn’t get into details of what was said. I can’t talk to her properly right now because she’s away at a conference but I think things will work out somehow. I feel so much better since posting here yesterday.

 

[Rebecca97]

Wow that was really harsh. You made a ton of false assumptions about me, but I don’t feel like I need to explain or defend myself. I know in my heart that while I’m definitely not perfect, I have good intentions for my aunt and my relationship with her (and so does she for me), and I’m trying my best. You sound really angry and bitter. I’ll pray for you!

 

[Rebecca97]

Thanks that’s good advice! Yeah when you’re sick its really hard to stay calm sometimes… I used to be a pretty calm person but since my diagnosis I find I get super emotional sometimes and then regret it later. Its kind of frustrating. My aunt is away right now but I’m hoping to talk to her more about everything when she gets back. And I’m feeling quite a bit better since just posting on the forum. I’m really grateful for yours and everyone’s replies.