Struggling with my thoughts

[hdavy2002]

Hi all,

Greetings from the Caribbean. I am an IT professional. I love my job. I was a non devoted catholic and then got lost to other religion/spirituality and ended up in a baptist Church and from there the lord started opening my eyes. I came back to Catholic Church and I feel at home. I have had some weird experinces in my life and how the lord saved me. It lead me to think about my life.

I discovered St Francis and his beautiful peaceful feeling. If I was without responsibilities, I would have jumped now to the next Monastery. I am married and god has blessed me with a baby boy.

When I read the Holy Bible, there is a diffent meaning to what I read. I feel he is speaking to me and telling me to “Sell everything, give everything to the poor, pick up your cross and follow me”

I am caught between the lord and this world. He rightfully says " You cannot god and mammon together"

He says “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” it is true. I have no idea what to do. We just bought a plot of land and I still have to finish the loan. Also have to build a shelter. Looking at 3-4 years then I will me free to concentrate.

But the lord says “If a person comes to me, but will not leave his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters, then that person cannot be my follower”

When the lord called a fisherman, he said “Allow me to bury my father”
The lord told him “Let the dead bury the dead and come and follow me”

I feel guilty that I am ignoring the lords voice. I am just confused if married person can join a priesthood or the Third Order of St Francis etc. My next thought is who will support my family. I have old parents too and we support them too. We are not that financially well off.

Please pray for me.

Thanks

 

[skallal]

Hi davy,

Thanks be to God that the Lord has called you back to his Flock, his family. What I’m trying to say is, Welcome Home!

It’s good that you are conflicted inside about what to do. It shows that you feel that you have certain responsibilities now that you must continue to carry out. You must continue to take care of your wife and your child. And you must continue to look after your parents. But, you can do it all with the Spirit of the Gospel. You can do it with that intense love that St. Francis had to spread peace to all. You can do it all with a detachment and a generosity that leaves a wake of peace behind you, touching all who come into contact with you.

You see, sometimes when we have a strong conversion experience – which is a good thing! – the devil can step in and begin whispering lies that make us think that the only way to perfection is priesthood and consecration. While I totally agree with the dogma that the consecrated life is superior to marriage and while I love the priesthood (it’s the love of the heart of Jesus according to St. John Vianney), I also agree with Ignatius of Loyola that God never calls anyone to abandon a commitment that they’ve already made. However, the Lord may ask you to begin to live out your commitments with the Love that comes from his Heart in the Eucharist and the Gospel. Please continue to pray every day with the Scriptures and **seek a knowledgeable priest **who can help you to understand better the Lord’s will for your life. Perhaps you have a good intuition in considering the 3rd Order of St. Francis…

May God bless you!

 

[hdavy2002]

Thanks Brother Scott,

I appreciate your good advice. When I was in the Baptist Church, I wanted to be a preacher and change the whole world. Then I realized that, I would only end up more materialistic, more egoist (If I am famous) I would be committing a sin by enjoying a sexual life in the night with my wife and preaching the next day.

These things started a chain of thoughts. I realized that the spirit of the lord is not here or any of these evangelical churches. They pretend to make long prayers and everything is all about money money and money. How insecure they are and how they put a heavy yoke upon their congregation, while they themselves pretend to be holy. I realized that it would be the biggest mistake to an evangelical pastor and travel in jets with a big ego.

Christ never had any money, nor did he charge anyone after healing. Whatever they gave him to eat, he ate. “The birds have nest and foxes have holes, but the son of man have nowhere to lay his head”

I came back to catholic church and I felt the spirit saying “Welcome Home” I saw signs of love in the Eucharist, in the images of bread and wine etc. I am home. I discovered St Francis who gave up his wealthy life and took the life of a beggar. How great is he. He humbled himself and today he is exalted. None of these non-catholic denominations can do that. They are doctorates and double degree holder and they know every verse in the bible but forget the basic command which Jesus gave before he was taken into death. “Love one another as I have loved you”

They preach love only your church member and hate the others who don’t come to your church or follow your ways. The lord says “That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly” and these guys give a 100 $ in Africa and make big noise in Adventist TV channel etc. They build million dollar churches and in the name of the lord rob the poor and the widow.

Can they deny themselves and become Mother Teresa and St Francis. I doubt. Anyways, THANKS for welcoming me home. No one has done that to me and I thank you for that.

I was thinking today, after I read your response that I should love my family and prepare myself slowly. The lord himself says “Neither do men put new wine into old bottles:
else the bottles break, and the wine runneth out, and the bottles perish:
but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved”

He has the power of making a good wine out of plain water like me. I was sinking in sexual waters before and he asked me to take his hand. As you suggested. I should live with the principals of the gospel and become a a new wine in a new bottle. I am glad I came here.

Cheers.

 

[VeronicaAnne]

Welcome home!!!

As you asked… I am praying for you.

Um… I seriously doubt that Jesus prefers that you abandon your family in order to live the lifestyle of Saint Francis.

After all, Francis was single when he was called to HIS ministry.

You, on the other hand, are called to family life.

Franciscan spirituality is a way of living out your spirituality. It is NOT a vocation. It’s really a “flavor” of choice. Some of us live it out in vanilla… others live it out in chocolate… or strawberry… or raspberry swirl.

It’s YOU who the Lord has called to be the husband of the woman who is your wife… to be the father of your child.

Francis didn’t have that has HIS job… as HIS vocation. He certainly had responsiblilities, too! BIG ones! he had a whole order of little brothers… friars minor… to care for.

So do you. God gave to you your wife, and your child. Possibly more children.

It’s all pretty simple, actually. You can become a 3rd order Franciscan while still serving your wife as her husband… your child as his father.

It’s the “Catholic” thing… BOTH / AND.

… and not… EITHER / OR.

Why not you ask His mother for her advice? I’m sure she’ll tell you the same thing as she told the wine stewards at the wedding feast in Cana…

“Do as HE tells you.”

What is Jesus telling you?