Struggling with not getting angry

[Doug77]

I work in an open office environment… it’s quiet mostly on the floor, aside from two very loud women who happen to sit right next to me.

People on the floor joke around about how loud these two are and how they’re so close to each other… and I find myself right inbetween them.

I’ve mentioned it to them, but they’re just oblivious when they’re back on the phones… talking just as loud as they were before.

I know the answer lies somewhere in just letting it be and stop reacting to it. But it’s hard. Because, I get this sense of being wronged and them being intentionally inconsiderate (which, I know that they’re not intentionally doing this… they’re just loud ladies).

It’s kind of funny… times when I really put forth the effort to be accepting of it, offering it up to God, and not reacting to the anger… I can feel peace slowly creeping back into my mind.

But, then the next moment I hear them being loud and the anger starts building up again.

Thanks for any advice!!!

 

[slh3016]

Would you be able to work with earphones in/on? If so, invest in a good pair of noise cancelling headphones (such as Bose) and as soon as their voices start to rise beyond your tolerance, slip on the headphones and listen to something calm and soothing

If they see you do this enough, maybe they’ll take the hint. Otherwise, you’re asking for a bitter confrontation if you address it with them because I have no doubt, they’ll take it as a personal insult.

Just my :twocents:

 

[Xantippe]

I work in an open office environment… it’s quiet mostly on the floor, aside from two very loud women who happen to sit right next to me.

People on the floor joke around about how loud these two are and how they’re so close to each other… and I find myself right inbetween them.

I’ve mentioned it to them, but they’re just oblivious when they’re back on the phones… talking just as loud as they were before.

I know the answer lies somewhere in just letting it be and stop reacting to it. But it’s hard. Because, I get this sense of being wronged and them being intentionally inconsiderate (which, I know that they’re not intentionally doing this… they’re just loud ladies).

It’s kind of funny… times when I really put forth the effort to be accepting of it, offering it up to God, and not reacting to the anger… I can feel peace slowly creeping back into my mind.

But, then the next moment I hear them being loud and the anger starts building up again.

Thanks for any advice!!!

Could you talk to your boss about a seat change? Sitting right in the middle of them sounds like it’s got to be hurting your productivity. Even just switching spots with one of the loud ladies might help.

You also might wish to mention to your boss that you are considering noise cancelling head phones. It’s a little anti-social, but if you tell your boss in advance, you mention that you think it will make you more productive, and you immediately take them off with a smile whenever somebody is actually talking you you, it’s probably OK. You shouldn’t be REQUIRED to listen to loud stereo conversations on either side of you, plus do your normal work.

Under the circumstances, I don’t think anybody would blame you. Just be extra nice so people won’t think it’s because you’re the weird guy that hates everybody.

lifehacker.com/5442544/background-noise-may-increase-stress-levels-for-some

 

[Doug77]

Thanks for the advice!

It’s just so odd… when I was younger or when i first started working in an office none of that stuff bothered me.
But now it’s such an annoyance.

I wish I could find that old me.

I still think some of the answer just rests in not reacting to the stressor and letting it be.

 

[slh3016]

Thanks for the advice!

It’s just so odd… when I was younger or when i first started working in an office none of that stuff bothered me.
But now it’s such an annoyance.

I wish I could find that old me.

I still think some of the answer just rests in not reacting to the stressor and letting it be.

Over the years, I have developed an extreme sensitivity to noise, which isn’t so great when you are a homeschooling mom

Recently, I’ve found that noise sensitivity is a symptom of fibromyalgia and I have other symptoms to go along with it. Maybe you should look into that just to be sure your reaction doesn’t have a physical source.

 

[BartholomewB]

Doug 77

It certainly must be very annoying, no doubt about that. What seems unusual in your description – compared with my own experience of work in an open office environment, in two or three different places – is that, in your case, there are only two people making a noise. I remember everybody making a certain amount of noise, so that even though one or two had louder or more piercing voices than the others, it all tended to merge into a single background hum, like traffic noise, that you easily get used to and just ignore. Perhaps the answer might be, paradoxically, for you to arrange to work in a noisier environment, rather than a quieter one.