Struggling with Project and need wisdom

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That brings me to my current intention. For several years, I have wrestled with and struggled to create a book called The Thrown Away World. It is a children’s fantasy story that I intend to author and Illustrate. The manuscript is finished and I am now working on the Illustrations. I have struggled with whether to give this up for years, and it seems that as it currently stands, I should work on it while looking for a job. This has been my Parent’s wish, and I think it would be a waste to just stop working on it. In prayer I have discerned that it is ok to work on it so long as I entertain no ambitions of building some empire out of it like J.K. Rowling (which sounds like delusions of grandeur anyway, now that I think of it). I just wanted to ask for prayer as I seek to be faithful to the Grace I’ve been given. I have a fatal tendency towards worldly ambition, and I am just trying to faithfully complete the project so I will have a portfolio.

Today during Adoration, I believe God told me to stop working on this project I’ve been working on, or at least that it wasn’t his will for me to have any success with it, that this piece was making me miserable, unhappy, and anxious about worldly things like success and acclaim as an Artist instead of seeking to do his will in loving others.

I’m already enlisted in a class where this is my project that I’m working on, and my parents really want me to finish it, because I’ve been working on it for 6 years, and it has tormented me for almost the entire time that God doesn’t want me to work on this project (but then there are other times where it seems like it’s ok and that I can work on it, but just not be attached to it, or to just finish it as a normal job instead of fetishizing it the way I always do).
 
Praying that the Lord may grant you wisdom and guidance in this matter. Also praying for all necessary graces for you as you discern His Will for you.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Bdonoho said:
That brings me to my current intention. For several years, I have wrestled with and struggled to create a book called The Thrown Away World. It is a children’s fantasy story that I intend to author and Illustrate. The manuscript is finished and I am now working on the Illustrations. I have struggled with whether to give this up for years, and it seems that as it currently stands, I should work on it while looking for a job. This has been my Parent’s wish, and I think it would be a waste to just stop working on it. In prayer I have discerned that it is ok to work on it so long as I entertain no ambitions of building some empire out of it like J.K. Rowling (which sounds like delusions of grandeur anyway, now that I think of it). I just wanted to ask for prayer as I seek to be faithful to the Grace I’ve been given. I have a fatal tendency towards worldly ambition, and I am just trying to faithfully complete the project so I will have a portfolio.

Today during Adoration, I believe God told me to stop working on this project I’ve been working on, or at least that it wasn’t his will for me to have any success with it, that this piece was making me miserable, unhappy, and anxious about worldly things like success and acclaim as an Artist instead of seeking to do his will in loving others.

I’m already enlisted in a class where this is my project that I’m working on, and my parents really want me to finish it, because I’ve been working on it for 6 years, and it has tormented me for almost the entire time that God doesn’t want me to work on this project (but then there are other times where it seems like it’s ok and that I can work on it, but just not be attached to it, or to just finish it as a normal job instead of fetishizing it the way I always do).
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Do you want to do this because it’s your parents’ wish or yours?

What’s your wish?

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.

:angel1:
 
Holy Michael the Archangel defend us in the day of battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Power of God,
thrust down to hell satan and all the wicked spirits,
who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
I learned form St Mary in the books City of God that the only way to know you are doing God’s will is to be acting in Holy obedience which I know fell out of favor in the sixties. But if your parents are outright asking you to do it and its not a sin then IMO is God’s will to finish the book.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Bdonoho said:
For several years, I have wrestled with and struggled to create a book called The Thrown Away World. It is a children’s fantasy story that I intend to author and Illustrate. The manuscript is finished and I am now working on the Illustrations.
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Congratulations on finishing the manuscript! It’s not unusual for a person to try to become a writer, to pursue the goal of writing only the words of a book, and – in the judgment of the person who is trying to become a writer – to never finish. Of course, sometimes we will read a posthumously published “fragment of a novel” and wonder why the author thought that it couldn’t stand on its own as a novel.
Bdonoho said:
In prayer I have discerned that it is ok to work on it so long as I entertain no ambitions of building some empire out of it like J.K. Rowling (which sounds like delusions of grandeur anyway, now that I think of it).
Click to expand...
If it’s a delusion of grandeur to consider that you might build such an empire, then how could you possibly have a duty to put aside the work to prevent yourself from building such an empire? Aren’t you being too hard on yourself?
Bdonoho said:
I am just trying to faithfully complete the project so I will have a portfolio.
Click to expand...
What’s the primary purpose of the portfolio? To help you gain admission to a school to continue your education, to show during job interviews, to show to potential investors, or some other purpose?
Bdonoho said:
…] instead of seeking to do his will in loving others.
Click to expand...
Maybe there’s a freelance illustrator somewhere who needs inspiration and who would be inspired by your completed manuscript. I cannot recall the name of the artist who illustrated the book Alice in Wonderland, but apparently it wasn’t the author of the words.
Bdonoho said:
it has tormented me for almost the entire time that God doesn’t want me to work on this project (but then there are other times where it seems like it’s ok and that I can work on it, but just not be attached to it, or to just finish it as a normal job instead of fetishizing it the way I always do).
Click to expand...
Is it possible that you’re in a situation like that of a lawyer who tries to represent himself or herself in court? Such a lawyer is said to have a fool for a client. Lawyer and client are two different roles, and so are writer and illustrator. You can do both kinds of work. You can be both a writer and an illustrator. Are you sure that you should have both roles for this particular book?

I have taken the liberty of asking some leading questions. However, I don’t speak from a position of actual knowledge of what God wants of you. So I ask you to take my questions literally, not rhetorically. For example, if I pose a question that begins “Are you sure that…” then “Yes, I am sure” is a perfectly acceptable answer.
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
I believe and hope that whether you finish the project or not, th growth you will have experienced will bring you further on your journey towards life.
 
Hey Guys. Thank you all for your prayers. I really blew it today and yesterday. I let myself become angry and frustrated with God, nursing resentment and holding onto percieved injustices because I didn’t have the clarity I wanted. I was impatient, self pitying, childish and faithless and selfish. Now I am seeking to make reparation. I should have been grateful for the new commission I had, instead of grumbling against God for a stamp of approval on the Project I wanted to do for selfish reasons. Now after seeing my Therapist (a faithful Catholic couple) I recieved understanding and a better outlook on this, and it also seems God is ok with me working on the project with this different attitude, but now I’m struggling with the fear that he’s letting me go forward as chastisement for my unbelief, to lovingly show me that what I wanted wasnt what would make me happy. I wanted to ask that someone might pray for me that I can be faithful through whatever chastisement I deserve, and that I would trust in God’s love and make reparation for this.
 
***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.

:crossrc:***
 
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