Struggling with Scrupulosity

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Andronikos

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Dear brothers and sisters,

I have a problem:

Approximately two years ago I went to confession - my first in ten years or so. So I did a thorough examination of my conscience and the list of sins was kinda long.
So I’d went to confession and I think it took approximately 45 minutes or so. So I thought, I’m clean, but in the following days, I’d done the examination over and over again, and more and more had been revealed. So I went to many confessions in a relatively short time.

Now I’m sitting here and think about those confessions and how I may deliberately hid something and that I should confess my complete sins again. But then I think ‘I already said that’ - But did I really ?

I want to come clean with God again - I really do. But I don’t want to let myself be destroyed by scrupulosity.

I would be really grateful for advice on how to deal with this issue

Kind regards and God bless 🙂
 
You need to find an experienced priest to advise you. He will have had experience dealing with scrupulous people. Trust in his advice.
 
I have been in your shoes so allow me to share what two priests told me (yes, the feeling of guilt was so deep that I went to another priest). There is a difference in forgetting and deliberately not confessing. After 10 years, there very well may be sins that you have forgotten. GOD KNOWS THAT WE ARE NOT PERFECT and all of your sins, even forgotten ones, are absolved at confession. If I were to remember something later then I would definitely confess my sin. In my case, I think I confessed some sins repeatedly over several confessions because I wasn’t sure I explained something properly (thus feeling as though I left something that I was supposed to say out of my confession) and needed to “tell everything” in a clearer way to release my guilt.

What I learned, and this is so important, is that God doesn’t have to hear every little detail…HE ALREADY KNOWS THEM! 😃 He KNOWS our heart and our intentions. Rest in peace that He is so glad that you returned to Him and that your sorrow is so deep (or you wouldn’t be this concerned) that he HAS forgiven you.

What has given me peace beyond words is that at the end of my confession I always say “and any sin that I may have forgotten”. Again, that is not the same as deliberately not confessing something. I know God loves me and I know that I am forgiven.

Since this revelation, thanks to a very understanding and gentle priest, my scrupulosity has gone away. Know that God loves you and his arms are always open to embrace you!
 
dmftx said:
I have been in your shoes so allow me to share what two priests told me (yes, the feeling of guilt was so deep that I went to another priest). There is a difference in forgetting and deliberately not confessing. After 10 years, there very well may be sins that you have forgotten. GOD KNOWS THAT WE ARE NOT PERFECT and all of your sins, even forgotten ones, are absolved at confession. If I were to remember something later then I would definitely confess my sin. In my case, I think I confessed some sins repeatedly over several confessions because I wasn’t sure I explained something properly (thus feeling as though I left something that I was supposed to say out of my confession) and needed to “tell everything” in a clearer way to release my guilt.

What I learned, and this is so important, is that God doesn’t have to hear every little detail…HE ALREADY KNOWS THEM! 😃 He KNOWS our heart and our intentions. Rest in peace that He is so glad that you returned to Him and that your sorrow is so deep (or you wouldn’t be this concerned) that he HAS forgiven you.

What has given me peace beyond words is that at the end of my confession I always say “and any sin that I may have forgotten”. Again, that is not the same as deliberately not confessing something. I know God loves me and I know that I am forgiven.

Since this revelation, thanks to a very understanding and gentle priest, my scrupulosity has gone away. Know that God loves you and his arms are always open to embrace you!
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Excellent post dmftx! 👍 OP, my advice to you would be to read this post and then bookmark it! Sheesh…I’m not even scrupulous and I feel reassured! 😉

Peace, Mark
 
I can understand what you’re going through, since I too have been dealing with scrupulosity for about four or five months now. I understand all the worries and fears you are experiencing, because I’ve had a lot of worries recently. First off, I want to recommend the book Understanding Scrupulosity by Father Thomas Santa to you. People ask questions in the book, and the answers are helpful.

Second, if you are doing the best you can in confession, then don’t worry about it. If you were trying to deliberately hide a MORTAL sin, I think that it would be pretty clear in your mind.

It’s hard to realize how much God loves you. But, God loves you very much, so try to keep telling yourself that. Also, prayer is very powerful. Look up Our Lady of Mental Peace, and pray the prayer to her. The Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet has also helped me.

I will pray for you. May God bless you always!
 
Andronikos said:
Dear brothers and sisters,

I have a problem:

Approximately two years ago I went to confession - my first in ten years or so. So I did a thorough examination of my conscience and the list of sins was kinda long.
So I’d went to confession and I think it took approximately 45 minutes or so. So I thought, I’m clean, but in the following days, I’d done the examination over and over again, and more and more had been revealed. So I went to many confessions in a relatively short time.

Now I’m sitting here and think about those confessions and how I may deliberately hid something and that I should confess my complete sins again. But then I think ‘I already said that’ - But did I really ?

I want to come clean with God again - I really do. But I don’t want to let myself be destroyed by scrupulosity.

I would be really grateful for advice on how to deal with this issue

Kind regards and God bless 🙂
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Quite normal. If one has been away for ten years. Or is a recent convert. Sure. Cane be normal. One can even remember a mortal sin that one did not confess – much later. And one simply confesses it “I forgot from year ago…” I am not meaning scrupulous fears…but simply remembering a forgotten mortal sin.

Now the question of “did you deliberately hide something?” - well did you? I think one would pretty well know such. Or “I already said that”. Your confessor can direct you.

If one is scrupulous - one needs a regular confessor to assist one.

Now just because one becomes a little “scrupulous” upon reversion or conversion - does not mean that one is “scrupulous” in the typical meaning. Rather with conversion one can pass through some “transient scruples” and then go on to have normal informed conscience - indeed purified as it were by such. For if scruples do not last long - they can assist one in conversion in a way. And help ones conscience be more delicate. Take sin seriously etc. A regular confessor for a time at least can help one in this. One needs to not remain with any scruples but go forward away from such.

(it can happen that a person keeps going down that road and ends up being scrupulous. Such is to be avoided with a regular confessor nipping things in the bud).

(Such does not mean that for those who are “scrupulous” in the normal sense of the term - that such is a “good thing” that they should not work to be free of - rather they should work with a regular confessor to act against such scruples. For their scruples are causing them harm…and are on going).
 
For those who struggle with scruples

I will re-post an older post of mine.

A person struggles with scruples - what ought they do?

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a* “regular confessor” who can direct them --and even give them some general principles* to follow -to apply (principles for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

Thus with their direction they can “dismiss scruples” (in the older language despise them) - “act against them” (agere contra).

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.

Such ‘obedience’ to a regular confessor who knows of ones scruples (except in what is manifest sin - such as if he told them it was ok to murder someone or something certain like that) is key. Such is the age old practice.

Also counseling -(especially if one also has OCD) could be helpful depending on the case -but one would want to look for a counselor who can assist one in following the Churches Teachings - not go contrary to them (I have heard CA staff mention catholictherapists.com/)

Here was a not too long ago post from Jimmy Akin of CA that I saw in the Register and saved for those who struggle with such.

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/6-tools-for-the-scrupulous
 
dmftx said:
What has given me peace beyond words is that at the end of my confession I always say “and any sin that I may have forgotten”. Again, that is not the same as deliberately not confessing something. I know God loves me and I know that I am forgiven.
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A good post. I’d amplify what you said and say it is important to remember God is merciful. He is not looking to disqualify us from Heaven for some slight mistake and certainly not for something we forgot.
Bookcat said:
Now just because one becomes a little “scrupulous” upon reversion or conversion - does not mean that one is “scrupulous” in the typical meaning. Rather with conversion one can pass through some “transient scruples” and then go on to have normal informed conscience - indeed purified as it were by such. For if scruples do not last long - they can assist one in conversion in a way. And help ones conscience be more delicate. Take sin seriously etc. A regular confessor for a time at least can help one in this. One needs to not remain with any scruples but go forward away from such.
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I’m a recent convert. I had over 30 years of sins to recall. It was a difficult process. I’ve already been warned about being scrupulous. I certainly gave the warning consideration. But I also know that my conscience was a bit seared so I look forward to it becoming more delicate. I initially had concerns about having missed some sin. But I did a thorough and honest first confession. My judgement upon reflection was firmly that my confession was good. So if a doubt creeps in my mind I remind myself of this judgement and don’t question it.
Bookcat said:
Thus with their direction they can “dismiss scruples” (in the older language despise them) - “act against them” (agere contra).

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.
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This to me is the most helpful advice. I’ve long struggled with not being able to recognize that a thought that enters the mind is not reality. It is just a thought. It is what you do next with the thought that matters. It is the act you make. You can run with the thought, or you can dismiss it. It took me a while to get what that meant but once I’ve did it has helped me tremendously in daily living not just spiritually.
 
My understanding is as follows:

If you make a general confession, it’s generally not advisable that you keep examining your past just in case you may have missed something. However, if you happen to accidentally remember something, **then **you may confess it, even though it’s already forgiven. 🙂

If you have some sort of serious psychological pressure that’s making it impossible for you to let this go, then you absolutely should consult with a trusted priest.

But be at peace.
 
exnihilo said:
So if a doubt creeps in my mind I remind myself of this judgement and don’t question it.

.
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Well it can happen say that one remembers say a mortal sin that you realize was indeed mortal and that you yes forgot it. Then one is to mention it in the next confession.
 
My fellow christians 🙂

thanks for the advice and thank you for praying for me.

God bless you all !

Andronikos
 
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