Struggling with sexual sin

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Jacob21

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Hello all!
I’m asking for your prayers and support here. I’m 17 and I keep falling into sexual sin, more specifically masturbation, and sometimes viewing pornography. I go to Confession everyweek (unless I go to another Church or I’m waiting in line and its time for Mass to start.) I feel so guilty and absolutely horrible afterwards. To know that I destroyed Sanctifying Grace in my soul, and have so offended God, deliberatly said no to him for my own selfish desires practically kills me. I try fight every temptation, but sometimes I fall. And I hate it. I get angry at myself, and plead for forgiveness, knowing that I dont deserve it. Ugh, I want to overcome this so badly. Does anyone have any advice. Anything that worked for them or are on this same journey through overcoming vice? I’d appreciate any insight. Thank you so much. God Bless,
Jacob :signofcross:
 
Jacob, I will pray for you, that you can fill your mind with other thoughts and help you overcome this.

But you do know that it is the teaching of the Church that for something to be a mortal sin,
we must knowingly,
and willingly consent, to something which we believe/know to be a mortal sin.

You clearly need to begin to reprogram your thoughts,
and to avoid those occasions, and to otherwise distract yourself from falling into temptation. You sin in as much as you don’t try to avoid temptation,
and in as much as you consent willingly and knowingly.

Best wishes, God bless you.
 
Hello Jacob

First thing to know is…you’re in very good company! This is an incredibly tough one to overcome, especially at your age, so try not to be too hard on yourself, and know that God’s grace is greater than any sin…even those we commit over and over again.

A piece of practical advice that was given to me, is that when you feel yourself starting to fall into temptation, MOVE. Physically get up and do something else. I realize that this might be awkward, but it does seem to be effective. Physically put yourself in a place where it would be difficult to masturbate.

And of course, prayer is always pretty effective as well. Case in point…before my husband and I were married we got ourselves into a very compromising position…I was feeling like we were kind of at the point of no return, and knew that I was going to regret not being chaste, and that wonderful man stopped what he was doing, and began to pray for us to avoid the sin. The decision to sin or not is always ours, but if we take that moment to cry out to Him, we can rely on His strength, instead of our own to overcome the temptation.

I hope this helps a little…I know it’s difficult. I’ll be praying for you!
 
You clearly need to begin to reprogram your thoughts,
and to avoid those occasions, and to otherwise distract yourself from falling into temptation. You sin in as much as you don’t try to avoid temptation,
and in as much as you consent willingly and knowingly
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Yes, I’m trying to do both. I honestly do not want to fall into this sin, but it seems no matter how hard I try I find myself there again. I think about the Church teaching all the time. I know its a mortal sin, I try and fight and fight, but sometimes I just end up there. Ugh, I hate this sin so much. Thank you for your advice and response!
And of course, prayer is always pretty effective as well. Case in point…before my husband and I were married we got ourselves into a very compromising position…I was feeling like we were kind of at the point of no return, and knew that I was going to regret not being chaste, and that wonderful man stopped what he was doing, and began to pray for us to avoid the sin. The decision to sin or not is always ours, but if we take that moment to cry out to Him, we can rely on His strength, instead of our own to overcome the temptation.
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Beautiful story! Thank you!

I will try to busy myself with other, more wholesome activities. This has been a great struggle for me, and like I said earlier I hate this sin so much. I know its mortal, and It’s wrong, and that makes it all the much harder when I fall. Because I don’t want to, I want to be chaste and Holy for our Lord. Thank you all so much for your prayers! God Bless!
Jacob :signofcross:
 
settingcaptivesfree.com has helped me with the same issue. I took the Way of Purity course there. It is a Christian site, but not a Catholic site. I don’t think anything in that course is contrary to the church’s teaching, but just beware of the circumstances.
 
settingcaptivesfree.com has helped me with the same issue. I took the Way of Purity course there. It is a Christian site, but not a Catholic site. I don’t think anything in that course is contrary to the church’s teaching, but just beware of the circumstances.
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Thank you, I will check it out! God Bless,
Jacob :signofcross:
 
Hello Jacob,
This may or may not help but here goes:.
Try to see masturbation for the silliness that it is. Masturbation is as silly as kissing yourself in the mirror. Imagine if you saw anyone of your friends kissing themselves in the mirror. I mean really making outl. You would probably laugh you head off and say "What’s wrong with you?

It’s easy to see that this is a disordered act. Now, going to the next level and having a sexual act with yourself…
The diference with masturbation here is that it gives you feel a temporay release but actually, it is even more silly.

This world has turned pepples hearts inward into themselves and it can become a real prison. I have no doubt if you began ot pray the Rosary and asked Our Lady for her intercession in this matter, you will overcome!

God Bless,

Bruce
 
Hello Jacob,
This may or may not help but here goes:.
Try to see masturbation for the silliness that it is. Masturbation is as silly as kissing yourself in the mirror. Imagine if you saw anyone of your friends kissing themselves in the mirror. I mean really making outl. You would probably laugh you head off and say "What’s wrong with you?
Click to expand...
It’s easy to see that this is a disordered act. Now, going to the next level and having a sexual act with yourself…
The diference with masturbation here is that it gives you feel a temporay release but actually, it is even more silly.
Click to expand...
This world has turned pepples hearts inward into themselves and it can become a real prison. I have no doubt if you began ot pray the Rosary and asked Our Lady for her intercession in this matter, you will overcome!
Click to expand...
So true! That actually made me laugh haha. I would say whats wrong with you haha. Thank you all so very much. I will remember all of this in my battle, and pray for you all. Thank you and God Bless!
 
We need a stickie at the top of the forum that we can add to (not locked), since the topic comes up so often, and posters often have good responses.

(Jacob, in the meantime, keep scrolling down the moral theology forum, and you’ll find additional threads with some specific ideas, including from many people who have struggled, and still do. Just in the last 3 months you’ll find a lot.)

If you do that, you’ll also see that you have a lot of company!
🙂
 
Jacob21 said:
Hello all!
I’m asking for your prayers and support here. I’m 17 and I keep falling into sexual sin, more specifically masturbation, and sometimes viewing pornography. I go to Confession everyweek (unless I go to another Church or I’m waiting in line and its time for Mass to start.) I feel so guilty and absolutely horrible afterwards. To know that I destroyed Sanctifying Grace in my soul, and have so offended God, deliberatly said no to him for my own selfish desires practically kills me. I try fight every temptation, but sometimes I fall. And I hate it. I get angry at myself, and plead for forgiveness, knowing that I dont deserve it. Ugh, I want to overcome this so badly. Does anyone have any advice. Anything that worked for them or are on this same journey through overcoming vice? I’d appreciate any insight. Thank you so much. God Bless,
Jacob :signofcross:
Click to expand...
Jacob:
I can remember being your age and doing the exact same thing. Nearly every night I would do this. Back then the internet wasn’t even invented yet. I had little access to porn.

Looking back, I thought I was the only one who did this. I thought there was something wrong with me. How wrong I was. Probably 90% or more of teenage boys are right where you are! Hormones raging within your body are at the root of this.

When I was seventeen, I didn’t feel guilty about it because I had fallen away from Jesus. Most men struggle with this Jacob. The struggle is probably the toughtest right now since you are young and your body is preparing to create a family. It’s best to keep things in perspective. G-Rated living will help you. Avoid immodest television and movies. This can be sort of tough these days but work on it!

Your goal right now should be to do your best… but realize that most men will continue to slip from time to time. Finding a godly wife when you are older will help a lot, but the temptation will still be there.

Do not look at the internet when you do this. If you must do this, do so without filling your mind with gross images. Be patient with yourself and seek God with all of your heart!

🙂
 
Thank you all so very much! I can not tell you how much I appreciate this. I will most definitely put all of you advice into effect. God Bless!
Jacob :signofcross:
 
Hey, Jacob! I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. Keep in mind how blessed you are - unlike most boys your age, Jesus has given you the grace to let you know how much this offends Him! You are definitely on the right path.

I see that you’re devoted to Divine Mercy too! I’m sure you’ve prayed the chaplet and asked Jesus for help with this problem. Have you read St. Faustina’s diary? I know that bedtime/night can be a difficult time to face temptation. Perhaps you could try, every night, to read some of the diary and then say the chaplet. This could help you face temptation and distract you. Reading Jesus’ words might help.

Also, try thinking of a quick exclamatory prayer you can say when you face temptation. I like, “Jesus, I trust You!”

I will remember you in my prayers. This sin is hard to break - keep persevering!
 
PeteZaHut said:
settingcaptivesfree.com has helped me with the same issue. I took the Way of Purity course there. It is a Christian site, but not a Catholic site. I don’t think anything in that course is contrary to the church’s teaching, but just beware of the circumstances.
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Yeah…if I recall correctly, there is something in one of the purity courses (maybe the teen one) about the Blessed Mother that comes up around the second week. I know because that’s when I stopped the course. :rolleyes:

I don’t recommend Setting Captives Free.
Jacob21 said:
I know its a mortal sin, I try and fight and fight, but sometimes I just end up there.
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Sometimes it helps to know a little more about why masturbation is a mortal sin than simply that it is a mortal sin.

One of the things that helped me out was reading the Church’s teachings on human sexuality. When you know exactly why what you’re doing is wrong and you’re fully aware of the kind of offense it is, you can’t do it anymore without thinking about all that.

God bless.
 
Masturbation is NOT a sin. OMG what a control this Catholic Church has over people’s minds. Sounds like a cult. That’s why I’m glad I left it. So liberating.
 
Thank you! 🙂 I’m in the process or reading St. Faustina’s diary, and I love it. As well as the Chaplet, I pray it quite frequently. I like your idea of the quick prayer. I’ve been saying some different ones, depending on the situation. Sometimes I make the sign of the Cross and say “By the sign of the Cross deliver me from my enemy’s O’ Lord. Through the powerful intercession of St. Benedict protect me from all evil and help me to overcome all temptation.” Or, when I bow or kneel in front of a Crucifix I say a prayer that my Priest gave me in Confession: “Lord, grant me the gift of a pure heart and a pure mind.” And “Lord grant that I may always be faithful to you.” Or some version or variation of them.

Thanks for mentioning about the reason why its a mortal sin. I have also discuss something like this with my Priest. He explained the Church’s teaching on sexuality, and it really helps to know why. Thank you!
Masturbation is NOT a sin. OMG what a control this Catholic Church has over people’s minds. Sounds like a cult. That’s why I’m glad I left it. So liberating.
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I’ll respond to this later, I have to go. God Bless and thank you!
Jacob :signofcross:
 
Jacob,

Chastity. Counter your lust with Chasity. Read about chasity in the Catechism. Read about Marriage and the Sixth Commandment in the Catechism, also.

Also, read Scripture. The Gospels: Matthew 5.27-30 (don’t cut off your genitals, the Old Testament says you would no longer be one of God’s faithful). John 8.1-11. Leviticus and Deuteronomy also have more within them: Leviticus 18.1-30; 20.10-21. Deuteronomy 22.13-30, 27.20-23. Read the Scriptures on your own and you’ll find more.

Meditate on these and pray. Life is better without masturbation. Enjoy your life without it.

Sincerely,

Daniel Boucher
 
dkdempsey said:
Masturbation is NOT a sin. OMG what a control this Catholic Church has over people’s minds. Sounds like a cult. That’s why I’m glad I left it. So liberating.
Click to expand...
liberating=justifying{your actions}…I will pray for you
 
dkdempsey said:
Masturbation is NOT a sin. OMG what a control this Catholic Church has over people’s minds. Sounds like a cult. That’s why I’m glad I left it. So liberating.
Click to expand...
Who died and made you God?

I think you need to do some reading. Might I suggest “The Good News about Sex and Marriage”, by Christopher West.

God Bless
 
Jacob,

I have suffered this problem as well. Recently I have stopped doing the act and it has made me a better person and made me closer to God. The way I get “around it” is that I wear a brown scapular around my neck at all times, except the shower, and it is a constant reminder to me. It reminds me that I can freely choose to do the sin or I can freely choose not to do it. Also what helps me out is that recently I have been working out and exercising after work, which makes me way to exhausted to even attempt masturbation. Another thing is wherever you do the act, hang a cross or constantly wear a reminder around your neck so that when you see that, you will remember that God watches you always. Believe me dude it’s a struggle but you can get through this, I have and I’m glad that I don’t continue the sin. These are just my ideas and my true accounts that have helped me with this. I wish you all the best and will pray for you.
 
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