Now is the best time to speak with God and draw closer to Him, and what better time to go to the “physician of your soul” than when you’re soul is sick and dieing?
that is what Jesus is there for, to heal you and bring you closer to Himself, you need to believe and trust and hope in His mercy for you, Jesus not only wants to forgive and help you, but He longs to so much so that is pains Him not to beable to,
but the reason you are feeling discouraged, is because you are putting to much faith in yourself, when really you should put all of your faith in God alone, and realize that without God you can do nothing, and it is only when we do not ask for Gods help and use His graces that we fall,
and you must also realize that this discouragement that you feel is only a trick of the devil, he wants you to feel this way about falling because he knows that by doing that you will decline and lose precious time,
but instead you must retain your peace and joy even amidst your sins, and continue praying and working even if you feel completely abandoned,
there is no use reacting this way, it only makes things worse for you, God wishes for you to just keep trying, keep moving forward despite your feelings, because really it’s not in your power to resist sin, it’s only by the grace of God that you can be good, and so you must always ask for His help and grace, and then in times like these simply remind yourself, that this is what you can expect from yourself, and say to God when you do fall “Lord, it is only because i have neglected to ask for your help that i have fallen, please help me never to sin this way again” and then get back up, and try again, with peace and joy…and by this course of action, you will leave the devil very confused and not knowing what to do.
to feel sorrow for our sins is good, but if it causes us to be discoursed and start neglecting our spiritual life, then there is something else wrong, something bad,
and you can always tell when there is some vice or evil present, when things are disordered, or when you lose your peace.
and in this case, to be more specific, the discouragement you feel, or the being disappointed in yourself, is really a hidden type of pride, it is thinking yourself better and capable of more than you really are, when in reality you are completely and utterly dependent on God, and there comes a point in our lives when we must simply be mature about it, fess up to our sins, go to God with what we have done, tell Him we’re sorry, and ask for His forgiveness, instead of acting as children do and running and hiding when we have done something wrong…God doesn’t want that, just as any good parent, God wants to forgive you and make you feel comforted when you are sorry, and just as any good parent would look for their child and suffer for them until they are found and feeling better, so God to looks for us this way, and desires for us to regain our peace…the problem seems to always be us not trusting in His mercy, which happens even to children not trusting in their parents mercy…God made good parents to be in His own image, and that’s a good thing for you to learn from when trying to know God.
and sometimes God lets us fall in sin, to humble us, especially when we are on a power trip, thinking how good we are and how strong…taking pride in the graces God has given us…and God will let us sin sometimes to bring us back to reality, and so we don’t reach beyond ourselves that way, and we should be thankful for this, because to become to confidant in ourselves is really bad, it sets us up for greater falls, and it makes us neglect asking God for help, or recognizing and thanking Him for the help He has given.
also, God brings good out of evil…and this is very important for you to think about,
even your sins can be of use to God…although they should never ever be committed willingly, but when we do have the misfortune of falling into sin, we should still, after repenting and going to confession(if mortal), try to learn from what we have done, thinking to yourself such things as “what should i have done instead?” or “how has this hurt Jesus?” or “what can i do to repair this evil and not fall into it again?”…and similar things.
and it is this way that God is pleased, because then nothing is wasted.
it is rather normal for us, as weak creatures inclined towards evil, to be discouraged about our sins and weaknesses, but as you grow in your love for God and in your virtues, you will find yourself being more sorrowful of your sins because they offend God, and you will desire not to flee from Him, but to run towards Him and fall at His feet, and not only beg His forgiveness, but also seek to make reparation for your sins, and please God simply because you love Him.
i don’t want to make this to long, so i will just leave you with a few book recommendation, and some articles i think will help you very much -
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=21360521
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=21517545#306478171
amazon.com/Searching-Maintaining-Peace-Small-Treatise/dp/0818909064/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1305405032&sr=1-1
tanbooks.com/index.php/Sinners-Return-To-God
audiosancto.org/
keepthefaith.org/
fultonsheen.com/Fulton-Sheen-MP3.cfm
just remember, that it is in times like this, when you feel alone and miserable, that you prove your love to God most, because when you feel this way, then you are saying to God “I do it all for love of you Lord! and not just because i feel like it!”, but don’t think that God ever abandons you, He is always with you, but God sometimes withdraws His consolations from us to test us, to see if we really love Him, or if we only love the consolations He gives us.
ok so hope this helps, and i will pray for you, take care.
I ended up falling into really bad mortal sin and its hard to break free. I go to confession every week and (Catholic) church every Sunday. I don’t pretend that im righteous or “higher” than anyone just bc i go every week, i go because that’s what i need personally along with lots of prayer and sacrifice in through the day, but im still not finding that deep inner love that i once had and lost! I’ve tried seeking fellowship with people but they are either anti-catholic, have love of Christ with no knowledge, or knowledge with no love…don’t get me wrong im not the smartest when it comes to knowledge either but i know enough.
1) I got a spiritual director. 2) Went to confession frequently. 3) Reception of the Holy Eucharist at Mass daily, if possible. 4) Study of Mystical Theology. I started with Teresa of Avila (Interior Castle), went to Francisco de Osuna (Third Spiritual Alphabet), then John of the Cross (Dark Night), and finally Garrigou LaGrange (Three Ages of the Interior Life). Studying this radically changed my prayer life, and with persistence and the Grace of God I overcome several sin habits. Even though they were no longer habitual, in rare weak moments, I relapsed. I also learned what my temperament was, which helped me to see where my weaknesses are (Kiersy Temperament Sorter, Myers-Briggs). Once you read these books (especially De Osuna and Garrigou-LaGrange), you better understand the spiritual journey, and why you are experiencing what you are. There is a process of purification and refining that can be quite painful at times. The feelings of loneliness, regret, discouragement that you feel, is part of the process. In reality, it means you are growing on the journey, rather than passively existing. When God feels farthest from you, is when he is closest. You will cycle in and out of this through life, that’s why I have multiple t-shirts, and probably will end up with many more before my time on this earth ends.