Struggling

[Jacob21]

I know this question has probably been posted many many many times before. But I was looking for a more personalized response. Well, here it goes. I’ve been struggling with sexual sin. I was doing well for a while, but recently, I don’t know if its because of family problems or what not, (not trying to make an excuse), I’ve fallen back into it. The sin I’m talking about is masturbation, and sometimes pornography.
Also, I know this is probably normal, but after I commit said horrid sin, I feel rather depressed, self-loathing even. I hate myself for what I have done. I confess it, and start over. Then, lately, I’ve just fallen back into it. After I commit the sin I want nothing more than to go to Confession right away, because I hate what I have done. But obviously thats not possible. I have to wait for Mass the next morning, or make an appointment.
Like I said, I know this has been posted many a times, but I was just looking for a personalized response. Thank you, God Bless.

 

[Seatuck]

I know this question has probably been posted many many many times before. But I was looking for a more personalized response. Well, here it goes. I’ve been struggling with sexual sin. I was doing well for a while, but recently, I don’t know if its because of family problems or what not, (not trying to make an excuse), I’ve fallen back into it. The sin I’m talking about is masturbation, and sometimes pornography.
Also, I know this is probably normal, but after I commit said horrid sin, I feel rather depressed, self-loathing even. I hate myself for what I have done. I confess it, and start over. Then, lately, I’ve just fallen back into it. After I commit the sin I want nothing more than to go to Confession right away, because I hate what I have done. But obviously thats not possible. I have to wait for Mass the next morning, or make an appointment.
Like I said, I know this has been posted many a times, but I was just looking for a personalized response. Thank you, God Bless.

Jacob, you should be getting some one on one spiritual direction with a priest to help you out with this.

 

[Jacob21]

I am, thank you.

 

[whm]

Jacob, I do not know much about your situation, so I will tell you what has worked for me.

I had to remove everything that is selfish from my life. I had long tried to replace “it” with tv, video games, cars, etc. None of that stuff worked. Once I got rid of that stuff it actually became easy to avoid, I also had much more free time to pray, read and spend with family.

I had to completely stay off the computer when I was alone at first.

Please don’t listen to or buy into the “everybody does it lie” or " everybody fails from time to time" in my opinion that comes straight from the devil’s mouth. I am not joking about this either. Everybody is capable of these sins and many have fallen into it during their lives, but their are many who have beaten it too. Non that have beaten it, in my experience believe these lies.

It is true that you or I may fail again, but our attitude should be to pick ourselves up, realize where we failed (did we watch a rated r movie or listen to off color radio etc.) and start over.

It has been well over a year now, I have no temptation towards it. I still have desire, but I am not tempted toward M or porn whatsoever.

I still stay away from mainstream tv and do not use the computer alone at night. I know well enough that it would be very easy to open that bag of worms again.

 

[TLM08]

I know this question has probably been posted many many many times before. But I was looking for a more personalized response. Well, here it goes. I’ve been struggling with sexual sin. I was doing well for a while, but recently, I don’t know if its because of family problems or what not, (not trying to make an excuse), I’ve fallen back into it. The sin I’m talking about is masturbation, and sometimes pornography.
Also, I know this is probably normal, but after I commit said horrid sin, I feel rather depressed, self-loathing even. I hate myself for what I have done. I confess it, and start over. Then, lately, I’ve just fallen back into it. After I commit the sin I want nothing more than to go to Confession right away, because I hate what I have done. But obviously thats not possible. I have to wait for Mass the next morning, or make an appointment.
Like I said, I know this has been posted many a times, but I was just looking for a personalized response. Thank you, God Bless.

Don’t feel like the lone ranger my friend. Men are especially visual by our very physical nature. Out visual nature has allowed us to protect our families from predators, hunt and gather food and sense danger. In the sexual arena, our eyes help us to see traits in a potential mate (wife) that reflect good reproductive health. We were made to be highly visual.

The vast majority of professing christian men struggle with this sin. The temptation can be absolutely overwhelming in today’s sex charged culture with it’s easy anonymous and free access to instant pornography 24 hours per day with one click of the mouse. It isn’t even safe to watch network news channels without being bombarded with images of stunningly beautiful women sitting behind see through glass new desks in short skirts. Everywhere you turn, sensual imagery hits us guys.

The media manipulation of our sexuality has gotten us all into a lot trouble over the last 50 years or so.

It is ever possible to stop sinning on our own power? I seriously doubt it but I do believe we CAN reduce the frequency of our failings. Men who are doing this every day can start skipping days and increasing the prayer life. Little victories can lead to winning the war. It’s only by allowing Christ to live through us that we even have a chance. For now, just do your best to avoid bad influence and turn this struggle over to Jesus. He knows you will probably fall from time to time but he will be there to pick you up.

I always like to remember the woman caught in adultry in John chapter 7. Jesus said “He who is without sin, cast the first stone”… He told the woman “Neither do I condemn you” and “Go, and sin no more”.

Get off that shame wagon right now! The book of Revelation calls Satan the accuser of the brethren. One of Satan’s tricks is to heap shame and guilt upon you in order to keep you focused on how “bad” you are. Satan wants you to question your love for God. John 8:44 says that he is the* father *of lies. The more Satan can get you to hate yourself, the happier he is.

We are called to practice self control and modesty in our speech, manner and habits. This is a good start. This can be a lifetime habit that is highly addictive and complex in it’s nature. Be patient with yourself.

God Bless.

 

[Michael1985]

Something that’s important to remember about masturbation and pornography is that they are more pleasurable when desired rather than when someone has them.

For example, when we think about these things they seem like sometime we really desire and we think it will make us happy. When we have them we discover they are not as good as we thought they’d be. When these temptations/thoughts come into our head we need to (pray, pray and pray) after that remember that they won’t be as good as we think they will be.

If we see a sexual image on TV it’s easy to think, we’ve blown it we’ve fallen into sin and start down that path. the truth is we haven’t. We can always stop, we can always do less damage than we have done, either to ourselves or a child of God.

Do you have a good Catholic frind you could say is it alright if I text/call you if I’m tempted. Try and get support around you not just on the net.

One final thing to be aware of is that men often fall into these sins when they are feeling low or down. If we’re going through times like this in our lives we need to be especially careful.

It’s a very positive sign that you’re trying to stop. Many people don’t get that far in their entire lives.