Stuck and Need Some Help :)

[Anna1430]

My brother, Jonathan and I have been close for a long time. Then a few years ago my parents left each other and we were split up. We would txt until 3AM on some days. We agreed on everything except he’s pro-choice and I’m pro-life. Lately he started pulling away from me. He ignored my phone calls and would only answer my txts. So tonight I asked him what was up he texted me back saying he was stressed. I asked him why he said because of ME! And he was through being my brother. I am crushed. He apologized a few times saying it just wasn’t working but i cried for an hour. We are super close in age, two years apart. We were best friends.Nov 30th he’ll be 16. He said on the 9th he’ll be free to text for a few minutes so we could say goodbye! What should I do? Do you think I could say anything to him on the 9th that might change his mind? I’m so upset, He’s the last thing I had from my old life. I just need a little advice:shrug:

 

[runningdude]

I’m 22, so not too far removed in age myself, and I’m the oldest of two brothers, so hopefully I can help.

You mentioned that you’re pro-life and he’s pro-choice? Were you guy’s up late arguing about this? Or did anything else pop up in these conversations that might stress him?

 

[MagsM]

My brother, Jonathan and I have been close for a long time. Then a few years ago my parents left each other and we were split up. We would txt until 3AM on some days. We agreed on everything except he’s pro-choice and I’m pro-life. Lately he started pulling away from me. He ignored my phone calls and would only answer my txts. So tonight I asked him what was up he texted me back saying he was stressed. I asked him why he said because of ME! And he was through being my brother. I am crushed. He apologized a few times saying it just wasn’t working but i cried for an hour. We are super close in age, two years apart. We were best friends.Nov 30th he’ll be 16. He said on the 9th he’ll be free to text for a few minutes so we could say goodbye! What should I do? Do you think I could say anything to him on the 9th that might change his mind? I’m so upset, He’s the last thing I had from my old life. I just need a little advice:shrug:

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Pray for him - a lot. He sounds like he is running away from something. You say he said he wants to say goodbye - but at age 16, where is he going? He sounds like he is hurting. Pray for him, pray for guidance and wisdom.

 

[JRKH]

(Note: From your screen name I am assuming you are female. If not I apologize for the imperfect gender references below)

Basically I think you should say that, even if he is through being your brother, you are not through being his sister. Let him know that you are always there and open to him.

You don’t say which of you is the older, so I don’t know if you are 14 or 18, but regardless, the teen years are highly emotionally charged ones. Many things can and will change in your lives over the next 10 years. So, while it seems like the end of the world right now, please take hope in this.
I would say that most all of us have gone through these kinds of times with our siblings…

I don’t mean to belittle your situation. I know it hurts and I am truly sorry that you and your brother are going through this - First the seperation of your parents and now this.

Let him know how sorry you are for “stressing him” and that you never intended to hurt him. Most of all try to make him feel loved by his sister no matter what the circumstances. You might also offer to stay away from “controversial subjects” so that you two can maintain contact and act as supports for each other during this time of seperation.

If you stay open and loving toward him, I can almost guarantee that you and he will be back together, closer and stronger than ever before he’s 20.

Peace
James

 

[Anna1430]

I’m 22, so not too far removed in age myself, and I’m the oldest of two brothers, so hopefully I can help.

You mentioned that you’re pro-life and he’s pro-choice? Were you guy’s up late arguing about this? Or did anything else pop up in these conversations that might stress him?

We argued about it once but that was like nine months ago. He doesn’t like church, God anything like that. I tole him i was praying for him, Maybe that could have done it?

 

[MagsM]

We argued about it once but that was like nine months ago. He doesn’t like church, God anything like that. I tole him i was praying for him, Maybe that could have done it?

LOL. I had a similar thing happen with my son, who is 22. He was a self proclaimed “atheist” - couldn’t stand God, or any talk of Him. He argued with me, moved out with his girlfriend, etc, etc. I started praying a lot for him (I didn’t tell him though). He started having horrible demonic nightmares and his behavior got worse. But I kept praying anyway - I figured the dreams were a sign that God was working in his life. Eventually he had an experience that has led him to not only believe in Jesus, but to pray. He even says grace before meals. He is also agreeing to go to RCIA. Don’t give up hope. Nothing is too hard for God, but it comes in His ways and in His timing. Just keep praying for him.

 

[Anna1430]

LOL. I had a similar thing happen with my son, who is 22. He was a self proclaimed “atheist” - couldn’t stand God, or any talk of Him. He argued with me, moved out with his girlfriend, etc, etc. I started praying a lot for him (I didn’t tell him though). He started having horrible demonic nightmares and his behavior got worse. But I kept praying anyway - I figured the dreams were a sign that God was working in his life. Eventually he had an experience that has led him to not only believe in Jesus, but to pray. He even says grace before meals. He is also agreeing to go to RCIA. Don’t give up hope. Nothing is too hard for God, but it comes in His ways and in His timing. Just keep praying for him.

That’s wonderful! Hopefully my brother follows the same path

 

[runningdude]

We argued about it once but that was like nine months ago. He doesn’t like church, God anything like that. I tole him i was praying for him, Maybe that could have done it?

Ah, so he doesn’t quite agree with you on everything, lol (I hope you like church, God, and everything like that ).

I got into months-long religious argument with a friend of mine and I ended up needed a months-long space to cool off afterward. I think your brother might be in the same kind boat, exhausted after long chatty texts with his sister, especially if they were religious or personal. I think you deserve at least a real phone call to say “good bye” and get at least something of an explanation though.

Try planning a time to call maybe once a month so you don’t over whelm him. He’s your older brother, and he doesn’t want to let you down (speaking as an older brother myself), but he is probably going through a difficult time too adjusting to the family situation. And definitely keep praying for him, even if just in secret .

I hope everything works out.