Stuck. Any advice?

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strugglingalong

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Here’s my situation. I’m going on 31 years old and working at a job that pays the bills well but I just don’t think is what God has for me. I think He has so much more for me. It causes me so much frustration and depression with each day. It takes so much for me to make it through the day because, honestly, I just don’t care about the things that make up this job. I went to school for theology and incurred a large educational debt (over $50,000). I’ve stopped discerning priesthood or religious life because of the debt. In addition I’ve been battling some habitual mortal sins which are another reason I’ve stopped even considering the priesthood or religious life.

Yet the desire doesn’t go away. I wish I could find peace and hope and joy in my life now but as much as I try I just am miserable. I think I’d find great joy and satisfaction in religious life. I’m drawn to a more serious pursuit of God and to more discipline. I’m worried now, however, that between my age, debts and struggles with mortal sin I’ll never be able to enter either the priesthood or religious life - thus be miserable for the rest of the years of my life. 35 is a cut off year for many diocese and religious orders. I just want to give myself wholly to God and it seems like I can’t do that where I am now in the way I yearn for…

Any advice? Should I just keep not considering priesthood or religious life? Should I be open to it? Help!

Pax Christi tecum.
 
strugglingalong said:
Here’s my situation. I’m going on 31 years old and working at a job that pays the bills well but I just don’t think is what God has for me. I think He has so much more for me. It causes me so much frustration and depression with each day. It takes so much for me to make it through the day because, honestly, I just don’t care about the things that make up this job. I went to school for theology and incurred a large educational debt (over $50,000). I’ve stopped discerning priesthood or religious life because of the debt. In addition I’ve been battling some habitual mortal sins which are another reason I’ve stopped even considering the priesthood or religious life.

Yet the desire doesn’t go away. I wish I could find peace and hope and joy in my life now but as much as I try I just am miserable. I think I’d find great joy and satisfaction in religious life. I’m drawn to a more serious pursuit of God and to more discipline. I’m worried now, however, that between my age, debts and struggles with mortal sin I’ll never be able to enter either the priesthood or religious life - thus be miserable for the rest of the years of my life. 35 is a cut off year for many diocese and religious orders. I just want to give myself wholly to God and it seems like I can’t do that where I am now in the way I yearn for…

Any advice? Should I just keep not considering priesthood or religious life? Should I be open to it? Help!

Pax Christi tecum.
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You should consider the religious life and/or priesthood.

Some dioceses will help you out with any educational debt that you have incurred. Some religious orders will take over paying on your student loans until you make final vows or are ordained and then they will pay it off.

It is something to keep open on.

First, get a good spiritual director.
 
As far as the mortal sins, I think that can make you a better religious. Everyone sins, that’s a part of life. You would be able to help those in confession by relating their sins to your life and can help them by how you deal with sin.
 
BTW, I heard a homily ~2 weeks ago where the priest said that he recognized he had a drinking problem 10 years ago, and with the exception of the precious blood, has not had a drink in 10 years. There’s a lot of respect due him for giving up his vice, and openly discussing it.
 
ByzCath said:
Some dioceses will help you out with any educational debt that you have incurred. Some religious orders will take over paying on your student loans until you make final vows or are ordained and then they will pay it off.

It is something to keep open on.

First, get a good spiritual director.
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I agree. I’m meeting with a new spiritual director for the first time this evening after work. I’m very much looking forward to it!

It seems in my experience the religious orders that I would want to consider joining are the ones who can’t or don’t pay on educational loans - and the ones who seem a bit less faithful may be able to pay. Maybe that’s not accurate. Just seems like that’s been the case to me.

Thank you for your advice!

Pax Christi tecum.
 
als10062008 said:
As far as the mortal sins, I think that can make you a better religious. Everyone sins, that’s a part of life. You would be able to help those in confession by relating their sins to your life and can help them by how you deal with sin.
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Well I guess it depends. My battle is against impurity which seems a particular issue these days considering all that has happened. I think if I overcome it before entering it could make me better, yes, and better equipped to assist others. St. Alphonsus says basically thata habitual mortal sin is something that prohibits you from the priesthood. I think though that the priesthood requires virtue and holiness whereas I think religious life is about removing obstacles so you can more easily obtain holiness. I think maybe it isn’t as much an issue in regard to religious life (still needs overcome obviously) whereas it’s a bigger concern in regard to the priesthood.

Thanks for your words!

Pax Christi tecum.
 
Remove yourself from the enviroment that causes the urges to commit sin. Pray, Pray, Pray.

Peace be with you Brother.

Saint John Mary Vianney
His memorial was just 2 days ago… then you post…That’s a sign

Also known as
Cure of Ars
Jean Baptiste Marie Vianney
Jean Marie Baptiste Vianney
Jean-Baptiste Vianney
John Baptist Vianney
John Vianney
Memorial
4 August
Profile
Born to a farm family. In his youth he taught other children their prayers and catechism. Ordained in 1815, though it took several years study as he had little education, was not a very good student, and his Latin was terrible. Assigned as a parochial vicar to Ecully, France. In 1818 he was assigned to the parish of Ars-sur-Formans, France, a tiny village near Lyons, which suffered from very lax attendance. He began visiting his parishioners, especially the sick and poor, spent days in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, did penance for his parishioners, and leading his people by example. Gifted with discernment of spirits, prophecy, hidden knowledge, and working miracles. Tormented by evil spirits, especially when he tried to get his 2-3 hours of sleep each night. Crowds came to hear him preach, and to make their reconciliation because of his reputation with penitents; by 1855 there were 20,000 pilgrims a year to Ars. Spent 40 years as the parish priest.
Born
8 May 1786 at Dardilly, Lyons, France
Died
4 August 1859 at Ars, France of natural causes
interred in the basilica of Ars
Name Meaning
God is gracious; gift of God
Venerated
26 July 1896
Beatified
8 January 1905 by Pope Saint Pius X
Canonized
31 May 1925 by Pope Pius XI
Patronage
confessors
Dubuque, Iowa, archdiocese of
Kansas City, Kansas, archdiocese of
Personal Apostolic Administration of Saint John Mary Vianney
priests

Continue your diserment… we need Good Fishermen!

Paul
 
strugglingalong said:
I agree. I’m meeting with a new spiritual director for the first time this evening after work. I’m very much looking forward to it!

It seems in my experience the religious orders that I would want to consider joining are the ones who can’t or don’t pay on educational loans - and the ones who seem a bit less faithful may be able to pay. Maybe that’s not accurate. Just seems like that’s been the case to me.

Thank you for your advice!

Pax Christi tecum.
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God will not call you to a place that you can not go. So maybe those religious orders you want to join are not where you are called to be.

To say that a religious order is “a bit less faithful” is off in my mind. Every religious group will have the extremes. But over all I would say that the majority are more of a middle line. Some people take a hardline on everything when in reality there is much that we can disagree on and still be faithful to the Church and the Faith.

Also maybe you are called to join one of these groups to help return them to where you think they should be.

In my experience, the “younger” members in my community are of a more “conservative” bent.
 
Hello!

Have you considered the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest and/or the Society of St. John Cantius? Both are fully and totally in communion with Rome and celebrate only the Latin Mass.

Also, there is some organization which helps prospective religious to pay off their debts…perhaps do a Google search and you should be able to find it.
 
Hello, again!

Here is a link to the foundation which can help prospective religious to pay off their debt in order to allow them to enter the religious life:

labourefoundation.org/

God bless!! 👍
 
SisterSnowflake said:
Hello!

Have you considered the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest and/or the Society of St. John Cantius? Both are fully and totally in communion with Rome and celebrate only the Latin Mass.

Also, there is some organization which helps prospective religious to pay off their debts…perhaps do a Google search and you should be able to find it.
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Hello Sister,

I’ve not considered them because I’ve just thought that most traditional orders would be more difficult to enter because of the reasons I stated in my original post. Thank you though. I may look into ICK and St. John Cantius. I’ve visited St. John Cantius in Chicago. It’s beautiful!

Pax Christi tecum.
 
Hi, strugglingalong!

As for the habit of sin, I would think that probably other young men have dealt with the same issue and that your formation director and spiritual director would be able to help you with the issue.

You may be pleased to see these age requirements:

Admission to the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius
canons-regular.org/go/vocation/admission/

Admission to the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius is open to Catholic men who have expressed a desire to lead a life based upon the Rule of Saint Augustine and in accordance with the Constititions of the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius.

• Besides the prescriptions of Canons 641-645, all interested applicants to the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius must also meet the following criteria:
• A 40-year age limit;
• Successful completion of high school or equivalent;
• Good physical health and well-balanced personality, able to live religious life;
• Unmarried;
• Free from all financial obligations;
• College aptitude.
you are interested in discerning a vocation with the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius contact us.
Rev. C. Frank Phillips
Canons Regular of St. John Cantius
825 North Carpenter Street
Chicago, IL 60642
USA
(312) 243-7373
(312) 243-4545 – fax
pastor@cantius.org

FSSP fsspolgs.org/vocations.html
QUALIFICATIONS
♦️ Strong sense of piety and sacrificial willingness to give oneself totally to our Lord Jesus Christ.
♦️ A good reputation, moral aptitude and intellectual ability.
♦️ Good health and fitness.
♦️ High degree of fluency in English.
♦️ High school diploma (or equivalent non-US studies). 1
♦️ Be able to enter the Seminary free of financial obligations. 2
♦️ Ability to obtain a student VISA (for non-US candidates) 3
♦️ 18 to 35 years of age, unmarried. 4

ICKSP institute-christ-king.org/vocations/vocation-questions/
What are the requirements for entering the seminary or oblatehood?
The conditions for entering the formation program to the priesthood and oblatehood are the following:
-normally, prospective seminarians should be between the ages of 18 and 30, while prospective oblate -candidates should be between 18 and 40
-high school diploma or equivalent, and/or working experience
two-page resume, which includes date of birth, main schooling and working experiences, and a photograph to be submitted to our US Provincial Headquarters
-letters of recommendation from at least two priests

God bless you as you discern your vocation! :signofcross:
 
Thank you sister! Yes, it appears the Canons of St. John Cantius may be an option. I think I may end up too old for FSSP by the time I get my loans paid off and I am already passing ICK age requirement…but there is some hope! 🙂

Thank you so much!

Pax Christi tecum.
 
Thank you Sister. Should I be called for the collar FSSP could be the one for me.
Struggle under the right conditions they will make exceptions for older men into there order.
 
cyberwolf001 said:
Thank you Sister. Should I be called for the collar FSSP could be the one for me.
Struggle under the right conditions they will make exceptions for older men into there order.
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Yes different orders have said that but I don’t know what kind of conditions they’d make exceptions for? Do you have any idea what conditions they mean?

The FSSP would be great. Cyberwolf, what a great blessing if God did call you to join them!

Pax Christi tecum.
 
strugglingalong said:
Any advice? Should I just keep not considering priesthood or religious life? Should I be open to it? Help!

Pax Christi tecum.
Click to expand...
If you believe that you have a vocation to the priesthood or religious life, then continue to reach for that goal.

I had a huge debt that I had to pay off, it took me a long time to do it, but I did it and now I am debt free.

Speak to different orders and tell them your situation, they may offer advice for you.

And we all sin and the Sacrament of Reconcilliation is always open for us, so please do not let that be a stumbling block for you

Try and get a good S.D if you can.

Do not give up.
 
Pious said:
If you believe that you have a vocation to the priesthood or religious life, then continue to reach for that goal.

I had a huge debt that I had to pay off, it took me a long time to do it, but I did it and now I am debt free.

Speak to different orders and tell them your situation, they may offer advice for you.

And we all sin and the Sacrament of Reconcilliation is always open for us, so please do not let that be a stumbling block for you

Try and get a good S.D if you can.

Do not give up.
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Thank you, thank you so much! It’s so great to have so many be so encouraging here when I present all of these issues. I think the debt and age may weigh less on me than my habitual mortal sin. But I just want to be God’s so either way I need to reform my life. Then I shall see about what vocation He has for me. Until then I can just pray about it and consider it.

Pax Christi tecum.
 
ByzCath said:
You should consider the religious life and/or priesthood.

Some dioceses will help you out with any educational debt that you have incurred. Some religious orders will take over paying on your student loans until you make final vows or are ordained and then they will pay it off.

It is something to keep open on.

First, get a good spiritual director.
Click to expand...
Would it help for me to create a plan to work of my debts to reduce them? For example:

I have loads of school loan debt, but not so much that it will be impossible for me to pay off over several years. I am currently on a 30 year plan.

One encouraging thing to know is that the diocesean priesthood does not require one to be “debt free” when entering seminary, but have their debt under a certain amount. That is what I can aim for.

Likewise, I have decided that I am not going to move out right now from my parents home while discerning. I plan to use money that I would put towards rent, utilities and the like toward paying off my debts. If I put a quarter of my salary toward paying off debts, I would be paid off completely in about 10 years at age 37, putting me under the age limit for most orders.

In otherwords, where there is a will, there is a way.
 
As far as the habitual sin, I am in the same position as you. But the way I look at it is as long as I am attempting to stop, if feebly and often failing, then I am still on track to be a good priest. I know I must stop, as purity issues are not compatible with priesthood, but I also have faith that I will be able to conquer my personal demons.

And as far as that goes, I have seen many things that include the saying “God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”
 
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