Stuck in a bad parish?

[mediatrixx]

I’m really worried that the church I go to is not orthodox enough. I’ve only been going for a few months now, and there is no other Catholic church near me that I could attend. Lately a few things have bothered me about this particular one.

When I started going to confession, I advised my mother not to take the eucharist until she went too. I did the same–I only took it after going to confession for the first time in a long time. When I finally got my mom to come to confession with me, the priest told her she should not have waited for the eucharist, that she should always take it.

This frightens me. I really admire this priest and I have met one wonderful friend in particular who is very devout, but I’m worried. I live in an area where there are not a lot of devout people. Church is kind of a social activity it seems. Something that is just “done” for appearances. For example, when there was a football game last week, the church was nearly deserted on Sunday morning.

Am I in a bad parish? Should I do anything? I would hate to leave over something like this since I love this church already and the classes I’m taking there. What would you do?

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m
When I started going to confession, I advised my mother not to take the eucharist until she went too. I did the same–I only took it after going to confession for the first time in a long time. When I finally got my mom to come to confession with me, the priest told her she should not have waited for the eucharist, that she should always take it.

?

you should not have any knowledge of your mother’s confession at all , and if you did come by such knowledge, you should forget it as quickly as possible, It is simply none of your business what she confessed and what the priest said to her. stay out of it. you are not the priest, you are not competent to judge the state of your mother’s soul. put all of this out of your mind. your spiritual health depends on it.

 

[brigid12]

These are what I’d do; make sure there are no other Catholic churches in the vicinity, offer up any things you know aren’t the way you believe you should love and honor Him, talk to the priest of the parish about some of your concerns (as questions and in all charity and support!), if you’re responsible for any children who may get what is truly the wrong idea about some things then you can teach them (remember charity about those who are not following as you believe they should be!), anything that is truly out of line question your bishop about, and come here to ask the apologist or even on the forums (we’ll be glad to tell you what we know, however it’s probably safest to ask the apologist/Father).

Also, since you are probably not the only person in your parish with deep concerns about all they do, find others - a very good way is to start up a pro-life group in your parish.

Be very careful to being very loving, non-judgemental and not self-righteous! If not, you could turn off the very souls you are trying to draw to orthodoxy.

 

[mediatrixx]

you should not have any knowledge of your mother’s confession at all , and if you did come by such knowledge, you should forget it as quickly as possible, It is simply none of your business what she confessed and what the priest said to her. stay out of it. you are not the priest, you are not competent to judge the state of your mother’s soul. put all of this out of your mind. your spiritual health depends on it.

Oops. My mom and I typically talk to each other about this stuff. We’ll stop if it’s a problem. I thought it was a sin to take the eucharist with mortal souls unconfessed.

 

[brigid12]

Oops. My mom and I typically talk to each other about this stuff. We’ll stop if it’s a problem. I thought it was a sin to take the eucharist with mortal souls unconfessed.

Yes, definitely do stop discussing others confessions. And yes, for the future, that is something that St. Paul has certainly written on.

 

[fin]

This frightens me. I really admire this priest and I have met one wonderful friend in particular who is very devout, but I’m worried. I live in an area where there are not a lot of devout people. Church is kind of a social activity it seems. Something that is just “done” for appearances. For example, when there was a football game last week, the church was nearly deserted on Sunday morning.

Am I in a bad parish? What would you do?

there’s a parish near our house but you have to drive in order to go there; walking would take too long. I technically don’t belong to any parish; I attend Mass at a nearby chapel; walking distance.

I do want to belong to parish, but I have a similar fear, that most of the people are not devout and are uninformed about the Faith. As for what to do, I’m not really sure. I’m praying.

I guess you could confide to the priest about your concerns.

 

[puzzleannie]

Oops. My mom and I typically talk to each other about this stuff. We’ll stop if it’s a problem. I thought it was a sin to take the eucharist with mortal souls unconfessed.

that’s the problem you don’t have any knowledge of mortal sins of another person, nor should you even be speculating.

 

[Joannm]

there’s a parish near our house but you have to drive in order to go there; walking would take too long. I technically don’t belong to any parish; I attend Mass at a nearby chapel; walking distance.

I do want to belong to parish, but I have a similar fear, that most of the people are not devout and are uninformed about the Faith. As for what to do, I’m not really sure. I’m praying.

I guess you could confide to the priest about your concerns.

Why should it be a concern of yours about how devout people are or how informed they are? The one good thing about our Church is that there are people in all different stages of their spiritual development and all are welcome. We have a large parish and there are people who come to daily mass and are very devout and who come to all the classes we offer and there are those who barely make it to Sunday mass and don’t know a hill of beans about doctrine and dogma but just know they come to Mass on Sunday. Then there are parishioners who don’t come at all, and we have to reach out to them and that is what evangelization is all about. Personally I don’t care how devout a person is, what acts of piety they engage in, or if they can name the gifts of the Holy Spirit or give a synopsis of the latest encyclical. My concern is that they come to know the Lord, that is the first step. The Church accepts people at whatever stage they are in and I think that is wonderful. It gives us folks who work for the Church something to do.

 

[fin]

Why should it be a concern of yours about how devout people are or how informed they are?

I know it shouldn’t be a concern of mine; I didn’t mean to offend or anything.

It’s just that I think that I would like to interact with people with are more knowledgeable than me or the same level with regards to the faith. I am saying this because the situation where I am currently is totally ignorant of the Faith. I don’t know anybody who likes to talk about the Faith or knows even remotely anything about it. Perhaps an individual, but I don’t know if that person would count.

What I’m saying is that my situation, my environment is totally, totally different from most of the posters here, who probably enjoy being around friends and people who actually like discussing about the Faith and religious stuff.

 

[marty30]

you should not have any knowledge of your mother’s confession at all , and if you did come by such knowledge, you should forget it as quickly as possible, It is simply none of your business what she confessed and what the priest said to her. stay out of it. you are not the priest, you are not competent to judge the state of your mother’s soul. put all of this out of your mind. your spiritual health depends on it.

Is this your personal opinion? Where in the CCC does it say that I can’t know the confession of my mother or anyone else’s for that matter?

 

[Sr_Sally]

Is this your personal opinion? Where in the CCC does it say that I can’t know the confession of my mother or anyone else’s for that matter?

Obviously your mother can tell you whatever she wants to about her confession. But the point is, we should not spend time speculating about the state of another’s soul or chatting about what Fr Bill was giving for penance this week. All that very quickly leads to a sinful state.

 

[water]

What I’m saying is that my situation, my environment is totally, totally different from most of the posters here, who probably enjoy being around friends and people who actually like discussing about the Faith and religious stuff.

As you said - pray about it. You will find some friends who help you grow spiritually or vice versa. You can certainly check out at any parish if they have pray group, bible study or other outreach group; you may find a group which you think you belong to.

 

[marty30]

Obviously your mother can tell you whatever she wants to about her confession. But the point is, we should not spend time speculating about the state of another’s soul or chatting about what Fr Bill was giving for penance this week. All that very quickly leads to a sinful state.

If this mother hasn’t been to mass in along time and she were in mortal sin then the priest is wrong for telling her not to wait. Correct me if I am wrong but the church teaches that we are not aloud to recieve communion in the state of mortal sin.

 

[fin]

As you said - pray about it. You will find some friends who help you grow spiritually or vice versa. You can certainly check out at any parish if they have pray group, bible study or other outreach group; you may find a group which you think you belong to.

Thanks for the reassurance. I’m confident that by God’s grace and through my own efforts and prayers, I will find friends whom I can discuss the Faith with.

 

[water]

Thanks for the reassurance. I’m confident that by God’s grace and through my own efforts and prayers, I will find friends whom I can discuss the Faith with.

Remember that those friends you might encounter would be the faithful as well as lukewarm. After all, we want to discuss and grow in faith so that we would be a better disciples of Jesus.

 

[Sr_Sally]

If this mother hasn’t been to mass in along time and she were in mortal sin then the priest is wrong for telling her not to wait. Correct me if I am wrong but the church teaches that we are not aloud to recieve communion in the state of mortal sin.

That is correct. You should not receive communion while in a state of mortal sin. The issue is, it is not up to you to acess the state of another person’s soul. The priest may indeed have been wrong, but it is also not a good idea to second guess the priest’s decisions because you were not present in the confession and do not know exactly what the other person said or about any mitigating factors the priest may have discerned.

I do understand about being concerned about your mother’s (or another member of your family) soul. The best suggestion I received in a similar situation was to pray and to continue to encourage the person to go to both Mass and confession.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

Oops. My mom and I typically talk to each other about this stuff. We’ll stop if it’s a problem. I thought it was a sin to take the eucharist with mortal souls unconfessed.

We should avoid the temptation to judge the state of someone else’s soul. Even when there is what appears to be objectively grave matter, we do not know the other person’s knowledge of its seriousness at the time it was commited, nor whether they chose the act in total freedom. What may be mortal for you could be venial for someone else if there is incomplete knowledge or choice.

Yes, encourage each other to frequent the sacraments and live a virtuous life, but leave the judgment of the state of the soul to God.

 

[mangy_dog]

I’m really worried that the church I go to is not orthodox enough. I’ve only been going for a few months now, and there is no other Catholic church near me that I could attend. Lately a few things have bothered me about this particular one.

When I started going to confession, I advised my mother not to take the eucharist until she went too. I did the same–I only took it after going to confession for the first time in a long time. When I finally got my mom to come to confession with me, the priest told her she should not have waited for the eucharist, that she should always take it.

This frightens me. I really admire this priest and I have met one wonderful friend in particular who is very devout, but I’m worried. I live in an area where there are not a lot of devout people. Church is kind of a social activity it seems. Something that is just “done” for appearances. For example, when there was a football game last week, the church was nearly deserted on Sunday morning.

Am I in a bad parish? Should I do anything? I would hate to leave over something like this since I love this church already and the classes I’m taking there. What would you do?

You have already begun to do the right things to effect change in your parish!
Go to confession every week. Confession will not only grant you the grace to persevere in the faith (in this parish) but it will also sanctify your priest. Don’t be easily put off by what may seem like bad advice from your priest. Simply speak to him and let him know that you are a little more traditional when it comes to this or that thing but, “thank you for your advice father”. Encourage others to go to confession. Emphasize to them the importance of the renewable sacraments and the grace that one recieves in them. Confession and communion…hand in hand.
The solution is within and not without. Pray the Rosary before mass. I hope and pray that this line of advice is helpful to you.
You are in a situation of faith that can be heroic. Thank the Lord for the opportunity to make a difference. Thicken your skin to possible ridicule and attacks from fellow catholics who do not understand your devotion. Remember Dominic Savio.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.

 

[fin]

Remember that those friends you might encounter would be the faithful as well as lukewarm. After all, we want to discuss and grow in faith so that we would be a better disciples of Jesus.

Thanks, but I have more than enough lukewarm friends and acquaintances.

I’ll just keep on .

 

[Cathryn]

Thanks, but I have more than enough lukewarm friends and acquaintances.

I’ll just keep on .

Keep in mind, some of these people may need you as a friend or acquaintance. Maybe they have no friends or acquintances that are not lukewarm.