Student In Need of Help

[The_Pupil]

My English teacher and I are very alike. We both love the human mind, Objectivism, and writing. He is 10 years my senior, as our ages are 28 and 18. Since the first day of class we have been noticing our unique similarities. We are both huge fans of Kerouac! The other day after class he asked me to stay a bit later. My teacher then asked me if I wanted to come to his house this coming Friday. He said that we could read some poetry and that he would make us dinner. Do you think that I should go?

 

[mommyof4]

My English teacher and I are very alike. We both love the human mind, Objectivism, and writing. He is 10 years my senior, as our ages are 28 and 18. Since the first day of class we have been noticing our unique similarities. We are both huge fans of Kerouac! The other day after class he asked me to stay a bit later. My teacher then asked me if I wanted to come to his house this coming Friday. He said that we could read some poetry and that he would make us dinner. Do you think that I should go?

Is anyone else going to be there? I would not go alone.

 

[The_Pupil]

I think he pretty much implied that it would just be the two of us.

 

[HouseArrest]

No, you should not go.

 

[The_Pupil]

Why? He is extremely nice and very intelligent. I love the good conversation.

 

[teachccd]

My English teacher and I are very alike. We both love the human mind, Objectivism, and writing. He is 10 years my senior, as our ages are 28 and 18. Since the first day of class we have been noticing our unique similarities. We are both huge fans of Kerouac! The other day after class he asked me to stay a bit later. My teacher then asked me if I wanted to come to his house this coming Friday. He said that we could read some poetry and that he would make us dinner. Do you think that I should go?

Being a male and the father of a daughter I would say absolutely not. There is a great difference in the mindset of an eighteen year old as opposed to a twenty eight year old. He should be looking for women closer to his own age and you should stick with school and keep your friendship with him there. Why do you need to go to his house?? What kind of teacher would risk this kind of teacher/ student relationship with such a personal twist?? He may be a nice guy but if he truly finds interest in you he can meet you for dinner at a restaurant. You do not need to go to his home. Usually a 28 year old only asks a girl over to his home for one reason and it’s not to read poetry.

So, my thoughts here as a 48 year old father of three is no, no and no. Yes you are an adult in most parts of the world but you are still a teenager and he is almost 30. Just words of caution.

God bless you and guide you to making the right choices. Please don’t fall for something that you may greatly regret later…in Christ…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

Did I mention that I would not advise you to go?? Sorry but my memory is either lacking or I am very fervent in my answer. Probably the latter…teachccd

 

[m134e5]

That sounds like it crosses legal boundaries no teacher should cross. If you are both old enough to consent, it’s fine (as long as it’s just dinner and maybe a movie, and his employee code of ethics allows that sort of thing).

If you’re in college, that probably isn’t a big deal- although I wouldn’t like any of my 19-24 year old friends dating someone more than 5 years older than them. Keep in mind also that you run into ethical concerns (that could risk his job- even if it isn’t illegal) if he is currently your teacher.

Talk to someone you trust (a family member, a priest, or a counselor).

 

[Bishopite]

My English teacher and I are very alike. We both love the human mind, Objectivism, and writing. He is 10 years my senior, as our ages are 28 and 18. Since the first day of class we have been noticing our unique similarities. We are both huge fans of Kerouac! The other day after class he asked me to stay a bit later. My teacher then asked me if I wanted to come to his house this coming Friday. He said that we could read some poetry and that he would make us dinner. Do you think that I should go?

Let me clue you in and trust me, a professor wouldn’t ask you to go over his house alone for “good converstation” if he didn’t have some ulterior motives. If he also just wanted “good coversation” he would meet you at a book store over coffee or tea where people are around, or have others around that won’t leave you two alone together. Going to his house alone is putting yourself in a potentially harmful, and sinful if not a dangerous situation. Believe me, I’ve seen many terrible events where women have trusted a man whom they thought was a “nice guy” but turned out very unpleasant. If he really wants to get to know you then he will respect your dignity and purity enough to meet you on YOUR terms until you can put more trust in him. Don’t let your emotions overtake your intellect and reasoning, if this is something God wills, it will take time, and slow steps are always the best. Have you considered that he may have a girl friend already? Take it slow and cautious and you will be happy that you did.

 

[The_Pupil]

He is my high school teacher. I’ll admit that he is very attractive.

 

[teachccd]

Let me clue you in and trust me, a professor wouldn’t ask you to go over his house alone for “good converstation” if he didn’t have some ulterior motives. If he also just wanted “good coversation” he would meet you at a book store over coffee or tea where people are around, or have others around that won’t leave you two alone together. Going to his house alone is putting yourself in a potentially harmful, and sinful if not a dangerous situation. Believe me, I’ve seen many terrible events where women have trusted a man whom they thought was a “nice guy” but turned out very unpleasant. If he really wants to get to know you then he will respect your dignity and purity enough to meet you on YOUR terms until you can put more trust in him.

Pupil, it seems as though you left here for awhile but please heed the warnings of all of us here. Bishopite is right. Please see how much your teacher respects you when you say no. Anyway I hope that you respond and didn’t go away mad…teachccd:shrug:

 

[teachccd]

He is my high school teacher. I’ll admit that he is very attractive.

There are legal consequences for what he is doing. You are setting yourself up for disaster. Your immaturity is as obvious to me as it is to him. Good luck and my prayers are with you. NO HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER SHOULD HAVE A STUDENT AT HIS HOME…NEVER…God bless…teachccd

 

[The_Pupil]

I’m still here. I’m not mad. He already told me that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. We’ve actually been meeting in places outside of school, like and indie cafe last week.

 

[teachccd]

I’m still here. I’m not mad. He already told me that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. We’ve actually been meeting in places outside of school, like and indie cafe last week.

What do your parents say about this??

 

[The_Pupil]

My dad knows the teacher and loves him due to his intellectual work. He’s quite well known in those little circles. However, they don’t know about the meetings.

 

[Bishopite]

He is my high school teacher. I’ll admit that he is very attractive.

Since you’ve clarified it more, as a father of girls not too much youger than you, I’d say NO WAY JOSE! I have taught my girls not to put themselves when at all possible into situations like the one you are potentially describing. They know how to defend themselves if need be and are very good at assesing potentially dangerous situations. Again, I have personally seen countless girls who have put themselves into the same situation and regretted that decision for the rest of their lives. How do you know if he will be alone? Or that he may have other guy friends who will be there? Perhaps his friends will have a few beers and then the situation gets very scary. Believe me, when I tell you, I see these situations all of the time and it breaks my heart. Don’t go over there. He may be attractive but the outside paint isn’t worth the price you will pay for a potentially bad engine. You sound smart enough to ask for advice, so use the good mind God gave you and reason enough with that good mind to tell him that if he wan’ts to talk poetry, then he can meet you at a Starbucks (since there is one on every corner of the world). Hearing your story makes me think that he has other plans. Again, without revealing to much, I can say that I’ve seen these situations only end up in tragic endings. A true man of virtue who loves God would respect a woman enough to meet her at a place that is non threatening.

 

[Bishopite]

My dad knows the teacher and loves him due to his intellectual work. He’s quite well known in those little circles. However, they don’t know about the meetings.

Even though you are old enough legally to decide for yourself what you can and will do, you should run it by your parents. And if this professor was comfortable enough with the “little meetings” then he shouldn’t have a problem with your parents knowing. Ask this professor if he would mind if you would tell your parents about your meetings and see what he says. If he says he likes it then perhaps he can come over your house for diner where your parents can get to know him better. If he says no, then the red flags should be put up as a warning.

 

[The_Pupil]

Well, this may sound awful, but I wouldn’t mind doing some things with him, if you know what I mean. English is one of the sexiest subjects, along with Chemistry. I’m not a bad person, but he is extremely attractive in more ways than one.

 

[Bishopite]

Well, this may sound awful, but I wouldn’t mind doing some things with him, if you know what I mean. English is one of the sexiest subjects, along with Chemistry. I’m not a bad person, but he is extremely attractive in more ways than one.

I see, this is a joke right? If it is then go somewhere else where you won’t waste peoples time. If it isn’t a joke then you need some spiritual help. If you are a Protestant Christian then you need to repent and go see a conservative Protestant pastor who can show you in the Bible where you are setting yourself up for serious mortal sin that will send you to hell. If you are a Catholic Christian, then you need to repent, go to confession with a contrite heart and get some spiritual advice from a good orthodox priest. If you are neither, then you really need spiritual help and we here can show you where to get it. You need to be straight with us, are you being honest with us or not?

 

[The_Pupil]

Whoa, I’m sorry. All I can honestly say to you is that I believe I am a good person and I try to be a helpful member of society. I have over a 4.0 GPA, which means that I do schoolwork constantly. I’m not Protestant??? How is that relevant? I’m not trying to be rude by asking.