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thomfra
Guest
You do seem happy. A smiling happy waving faceā¦maybe you are not gay? (just kidding).not me
Study: Homosexual Lifestyle Strongly Linked to Depression, Suicide
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Fran65
Guest
Of course some psychologists and psychiatrists might argue that not appearing to suffer from depression does not mean that the person is not depressed. One defense mechanism is the adoption of a conscious cheerful and āhappy go luckyā persona which belies the underlying dynamic of depression. 
Psychodynamic therapists are so clever - they can explain everything!! LOLā¦
Psychodynamic therapists are so clever - they can explain everything!! LOLā¦
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rpp
Guest
I was unaware that you and granceandglory were acquainted.not me
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East_and_West
Guest
We are saying that no person is intrinsically gay, just as no person is intrinsically a cleptomaniac or a no person is intrinsically depressed. These are disorder that are not part of the human natures. There are just that: disorders. That being said, a person is not condemned or considered a sinner because they have a disorder. However, action on that disorder is sinful. It is not a sin for some one to suffer from the disorder of Same Sex Attraction (i suffer from this disorder myself). However, it is a sin for a person to act on this disorder by engaging in gay sex acts.
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Dale_M
Guest
G&G said all the gays and lesbians in her or his acquaintance are depressed. You said you are not depressed. RPP wanted to point out that G&G is unlikely to know you.
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East_and_West
Guest
I struggle with Same Sex Attraction and all of the gays I know from my past are very unhappy and broken people.
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pathia
Guest
I was in a support group in college. A group for supporting those of us that had been forced into therapy to cure us of homosexuality during highschool and sometimes earlier.
Every single one of us had multiple suicide attempts. Once we got into college and away from that therapy, life opened up. We didnāt have any more guilt, we could actually live our life and not have this cloud of guilt, shame and depression weight us down so heavily.
Sadly, all of us knew teens that had ended up killing themselves in the middle of the therapy, far far too many. We knew more people who had killed themselves during the therapy than compared to kids who were allowed to be themselves in highschool.
Were those kids that were allowed to be themselves perfect and happy? No, of course not, they were still tortured, beaten, mocked and ridiculed every day of their lives, but on the whole on average they seemed much more well adjusted and happier/less depressed than my own cohort.
My life was completely destroyed by trying to ācureā my same sex attraction, completely, utterly destroyed. It drove me into a stupor, I ended up homeless, wandering from shelter to shelter until I finally snapped out of it and left it behind.
I still have panic attacks to this day by things that trigger flashbacks to the therapy sessions. I have scars on my arms and thighs from it. I still have the voice of the therapist who told me suicide now was ābetterā than living an entire life as a gay person. He didnāt mean to advocate suicide by any means, he just meant to highlight how important it was to become straight. Of courseā¦thatās not what entered my mind at the age of 15.
To this day I simply cannot trust christian therapists and/or priests, I just canāt, they have completely destroyed all hope in the power of christ to cure homosexuals. My faith was all but destroyed, because they destroyed me, all in the name of curing me. I cared about nothing except curing myself, I had no other goals, so I continued to fail my only goal, over and over. To give me āhopeā they would trot out their ācuredā patients. Every single one I met that said they were ācuredā was a complete fake, in private they would admit to having to fantasize about a same-sex partner to actually complete their marital duties. What kind of marriage is that?
I gave all that up, now Iāve managed to get two degrees and now I have a good job that I can return to as soon as I heal fully from a medical event. I could never have had that before, I was completely worthless. The failings over and over again, the constant āencouragementā that God would fix it all ended up becoming a taunt, a ridiculing pat on the back, it felt like a slap in the face, because obviously I just must not be good enough, because it just isnāt working for me.
What kind of message is that to send to children? Itās awful, it caused us nothing but endless pain and suffering and many have died because of it, but no one cares, no one asks questions. They just trot out these fake smiling faces that claim to be ā100% heterosexualā who then get caught in gay bars a few months later.
Every single one of us had multiple suicide attempts. Once we got into college and away from that therapy, life opened up. We didnāt have any more guilt, we could actually live our life and not have this cloud of guilt, shame and depression weight us down so heavily.
Sadly, all of us knew teens that had ended up killing themselves in the middle of the therapy, far far too many. We knew more people who had killed themselves during the therapy than compared to kids who were allowed to be themselves in highschool.
Were those kids that were allowed to be themselves perfect and happy? No, of course not, they were still tortured, beaten, mocked and ridiculed every day of their lives, but on the whole on average they seemed much more well adjusted and happier/less depressed than my own cohort.
My life was completely destroyed by trying to ācureā my same sex attraction, completely, utterly destroyed. It drove me into a stupor, I ended up homeless, wandering from shelter to shelter until I finally snapped out of it and left it behind.
I still have panic attacks to this day by things that trigger flashbacks to the therapy sessions. I have scars on my arms and thighs from it. I still have the voice of the therapist who told me suicide now was ābetterā than living an entire life as a gay person. He didnāt mean to advocate suicide by any means, he just meant to highlight how important it was to become straight. Of courseā¦thatās not what entered my mind at the age of 15.
To this day I simply cannot trust christian therapists and/or priests, I just canāt, they have completely destroyed all hope in the power of christ to cure homosexuals. My faith was all but destroyed, because they destroyed me, all in the name of curing me. I cared about nothing except curing myself, I had no other goals, so I continued to fail my only goal, over and over. To give me āhopeā they would trot out their ācuredā patients. Every single one I met that said they were ācuredā was a complete fake, in private they would admit to having to fantasize about a same-sex partner to actually complete their marital duties. What kind of marriage is that?
I gave all that up, now Iāve managed to get two degrees and now I have a good job that I can return to as soon as I heal fully from a medical event. I could never have had that before, I was completely worthless. The failings over and over again, the constant āencouragementā that God would fix it all ended up becoming a taunt, a ridiculing pat on the back, it felt like a slap in the face, because obviously I just must not be good enough, because it just isnāt working for me.
What kind of message is that to send to children? Itās awful, it caused us nothing but endless pain and suffering and many have died because of it, but no one cares, no one asks questions. They just trot out these fake smiling faces that claim to be ā100% heterosexualā who then get caught in gay bars a few months later.
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thomfra
Guest
Great post. Thanks for sharing. A good read for anyone on this board who thinks itās just a ālifestyle choiceā. But in fairness, I would suppose that the majority of Catholics donāt think one can be ācuredā from SSA. Rather that one can chose not to āpracticeā gay sex.
Personally I donāt agree with this. As I donāt agree that ānatural lawā should wheeled out as an argument in any situation.
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graceandglory
Guest
about a dozen. Many of them I knew growing up, and in school, before they entered the homosexual lifestyle.
Oftentimes I do joke about something being in the water in my home town.
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graceandglory
Guest
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Oakleaf
Guest
Hi Pathia, thank you for sharing your story. What is difficult is that there is a lot of reality-denial on both sides of the gay / anti-gay debate.
Anti-gays want to say there is no natural or at least unchangeable component of homo-orientation, that gays are essentially evil and immoral people. Their strategy is to try to āexileā gays to urban ghettos or lives of pretending to be ānormalā men. This goes hand in hand with āsmear the queerā and abuse of boys in childhood who exhibit any homo or gayish personalities.
The pro-gays want to say that if someone has any same sex attraction, they must ācome outā and move to an urban ghetto. All their problems will be instantly solved by going to nightclubs, having sex with strangers with no real probability of forming a lasting interpersonal bond, fashion, and so on. The supposedly great a liberating gay lifestyle somehow usually ends up with people living marginal lives punctuated by the occasional āhook upā, cocktail party, or nightclub. Drugs are not uncommon. Not uncommon for this all to lead to depression, disease, or early death.
I donāt see groups like Dignity acknowledging any of this. They push the tired old line that all gays need is āacceptanceā and then all will be well, without even a hint that the āgay lifestyleā has any elements remotely negative to the human person. To point that out is āhomophobic.ā
The anti-gays think they are saving the world with their denial but all they really accomplish is to close the doors on dealing with homo orientation in a humane way. They are in effect casting people dealing with same sex attraction to the wolves. Maybe the ancient solution is the best solutionā¦ eunuchs for the Kingdom of God and all that. One way or another the homo orientation seems to favor a life of loneliness. Maybe the solution is reaching out to people in human non-sexual ways.
There is a non-canonical quote from the Gospel of Thomas: Jesus said, āBlessed are the solitary and elect, for you will find the kingdom. For you are from it, and to it you will return.ā
Anti-gays want to say there is no natural or at least unchangeable component of homo-orientation, that gays are essentially evil and immoral people. Their strategy is to try to āexileā gays to urban ghettos or lives of pretending to be ānormalā men. This goes hand in hand with āsmear the queerā and abuse of boys in childhood who exhibit any homo or gayish personalities.
The pro-gays want to say that if someone has any same sex attraction, they must ācome outā and move to an urban ghetto. All their problems will be instantly solved by going to nightclubs, having sex with strangers with no real probability of forming a lasting interpersonal bond, fashion, and so on. The supposedly great a liberating gay lifestyle somehow usually ends up with people living marginal lives punctuated by the occasional āhook upā, cocktail party, or nightclub. Drugs are not uncommon. Not uncommon for this all to lead to depression, disease, or early death.
I donāt see groups like Dignity acknowledging any of this. They push the tired old line that all gays need is āacceptanceā and then all will be well, without even a hint that the āgay lifestyleā has any elements remotely negative to the human person. To point that out is āhomophobic.ā
The anti-gays think they are saving the world with their denial but all they really accomplish is to close the doors on dealing with homo orientation in a humane way. They are in effect casting people dealing with same sex attraction to the wolves. Maybe the ancient solution is the best solutionā¦ eunuchs for the Kingdom of God and all that. One way or another the homo orientation seems to favor a life of loneliness. Maybe the solution is reaching out to people in human non-sexual ways.
There is a non-canonical quote from the Gospel of Thomas: Jesus said, āBlessed are the solitary and elect, for you will find the kingdom. For you are from it, and to it you will return.ā
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pathia
Guest
I was in a support group that numbered over 20 individuals, they did not have the same biological disorders I do. In this case, my personal medical problems had nothing to do with what happened to my mind.
Where in that story did my biology come into play, where did it come into play with all the others that suffered along with me, who were in the end broken as me? Some so broken they took their own lives.
My condition is more common than people realize, but certainly not THAT common.
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pathia
Guest
Hardly, Iāve been with my current partner now almost seven years if you count the ādatingā time. All of our gay friends are partnered and have been for years, some 20+ years.
You only see/hear/observe the loud ones. We live in suburbia, not the ghetto. We are everywhere, but because we donāt shout it from the rooftops like the ones in the ghetto, youād never know we exist. I am not āin the closetā at work or anything, but I donāt go broadcasting it either. It only comes up if someone asks me about my ring, or family related questions and even then Iām generally vague about the whole thing. I donāt like to discuss my home life with anyone at work really.
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Annn
Guest
Pathia, I usually enjoy your posts, but as a partnered lesbian living in a major city, I sort of object to you calling my community āthe ghetto.ā
I also donāt proclaim anything from rooftops.
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pathia
Guest
I am only using the terminology set forth by the person I replied to, I generally donāt want to argue the truth of someoneās anecdotal experiences, it just sidetracks everything. The individual I was replying to used a great deal more of these words and even more offense ones, in my opinion.
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rpp
Guest
Well, considering where you and I live, it may very BE in the water. I mean look at the new mayor of Portland who is openly homosexual.about a dozen. Many of them I knew growing up, and in school, before they entered the homosexual lifestyle.
Oftentimes I do joke about something being in the water in my home town.
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