"Studying doesn't count"

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Brian_K

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Joined the church a year ago. Came from agnostic background, and it was encountering the mystics of the Catholic faith that showed me that the church contains all the truths in other religions and spiritualities, and then some (read: All)

I read my way into the faith. I participate in a weekly bible study, and, since our parish is more casual and personal, I don’t try to wax too mystical in my sharing. But sometimes I can offer something.

Well, yesterday, one of the other more “established” parishioners made a point to approach me before mass and tell me “Unless you convert people, studying doesn’t count.”

I felt like someone sliced me across the chest. I only went to mass due to the Sunday obligation, but as I’ve pondered it all day, I want to leave this parish. I constantly hear comments about reaching out and looking for people who are visiting and need a friendly encounter.

I get it…we totally should be open to seekers.

At the same time, I came to the faith because it’s true, not because it’s fun or friendly (in a worldly sense.)

I study theology (Three Ages of the Interior Life, for example) not because Jesus is my pal, but because He’s my God.

So I think studying does count. Not that it’s counts for everything. I certainly do my best to reach out where and when I can. At the same time, perhaps my studying allows me to reach someone who isn’t drawn by “niceness”, but wants a real theological discussion.

I admit I’m venting a bit here and trying to assuage some hurt. Other vents and feelings are fine 🙂
 
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There are definitely parish’s chasing the ol’ 70’s vibe of “welcome” and guitars and such. We used to belong to a parish like that… and to be honest I loved it because they were okay with our Sometimes-noisy kids (we were coming from a church where we were criticized for having kids at Mass instead of keeping them almost exclusively in the crytoom). So… the attitude of outreach-is-everything does bring some people in who have felt like outcasts somewhere else. This said, it’s not the kind of parish where I want to raise my kids & I can see where you would feel hurt by it. Welcome and outreach are not the be-all-and-end-all. Studying the faith is not somehow subservient to welcoming people. Doctrine matters. I hope we all value both. A different parish climate might be a better fit for you. Do you have other choice?

Welcome to the Church!
 
Please keep studying. They’re are people out there searching just like you were. You’re story will help them. Keep studying and be able to tell your story when the time comes. Hopefully this person meant well but didn’t come across well I don’t know but so important now are people who come from you’re background and are convinced of the truth . We need you.
Don’t give up.
 
I picked up the practice of praying Hail Mary when kids cry. I figure if Our Lady can handle God Himself in infant form, She can comfort a squirmy little one. Nearly without fail, whispering Hail Mary when a baby cries brings him to silence before the third one. 🙂
 
I do believe he meant well. This isn’t the first time he’s “counseled” me.

And I won’t give up. I’m very frustrated and hurt now, but one thing I’m learning is that it’s ok to feel a certain way and forego acting on it.

What really got to me was I was already in a vulnerable place going into mass, then I get “admonished” as he passes by, then he ducks into the church, and I’m standing there like, “Um, am I an a-hole?!..should I even go in?”
 
Brian_K said:
“Unless you convert people, studying doesn’t count.”
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Oh yes it does! For one you grow in knowledge, passion, understanding and holiness especially after reading the Lives of The Saints for example!

And how does this parishoner know whether God plans for you to use this knowledge to help others say perhaps in 10yrs time???
 
Brian_K said:
What really got to me was I was already in a vulnerable place going into mass, then I get “admonished” as he passes by, then he ducks into the church, and I’m standing there like, “Um, am I an a-hole?!..should I even go in?”
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😭 Please please always go in! I’m so sorry you had this experience!
 
Have you consider that some people might feel guilty and might lash out on you because or not reading the Bible or studying their faith?

Some people might say and think that it’s impossible to read the entire Bible for example.

Pray for the person who said that please and don’t let that person stop you from reading the Bible and studying Catholicism.
 
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Brian_K said:
then I get “admonished” as he passes by,
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Take it as water off a ducks’ back.

The charitable thing is to interpret his behavior as favorably as possible. He may have meant that there isn’t anyone new there, needing to learn the Faith, or he may have meant we’re all cradle and so don’t need evangelizing, or perhaps he felt embarrassed by your knowledge at some prior group discussion and felt here’s someone new and I didn’t even know that!

Acknowledge the hurt, offer it to God, pray for that person. Next time you see them, warmly smile and say hello as you pass by on your way into Church.
 
That was my mindset while prayerfully reading Garrigou-Lagrange’s Three Ages of the Interior Life. I feel like I can literally chew on sentences for minutes at a time.

Plus a lot of my co-workers are borderline criminally-insane. “Nice” doesn’t work. Strength, conviction, and presence of God does. Sometimes!
 
That would irritate and hurt me too. I’m a convert with a similar background to yours. I converted nearly forty years ago and have found parish life an ongoing penance. It’s a simple fact that much of English speaking Catholicism is anti-intellectual and intellectuals can feel left out, and sometimes deliberately so. I well remember being an enthusiastic convert in the early 80’s and wanting to talk about my conversion and theological reading, and also great church music, and finding that the clergy and laity are not really interested in those discussions.

For several years I was surprised and disappointed before eventually accepting it. It is actually different in some Protestant churches, where you can have a solid discussion on religious matters in normal “fellowship” time. But in forty years I’ve never had a moment’s doubt or regret, or thought about going back.
 
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I did go in. And like someone else suggested, offered it up.

I did realize I have no right to feel like the ultimately misunderstood victim as I look at the cross…for sure He never misspoke in the least. Me? Well, ok, whatever I said couldn’t have been perfect!

The wonderful thing I’ve learned from this experience is even if I leave this parish (for some other reasons too), I’m not leaving the Church. God reached down and plucked me out of the depths of selfishness and insanity and told me the Truth. I can never un-know what He taught me, and wouldn’t want to. I’m just struggling in this particular parish.
 
I belive studying counts, it’s always good to be prepared to have answers when someone is curious about the faith and has questions before they decide for themselves and/or has opposing views to what the Church teachs and you have the answers to defend it. 🙂
 
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I don’t mean to try to come off as a mystic, here, either! I was just blown away by those folks, which prompted a profound respect in me for the Catholic faith. So I don’t study to try to impress people or to say some smart thing here or there, but to move and modify my own interior self because it floors me how people hundreds or thousands of years ago could cut through human selfishness and experience God, prior to what we consider our “modern” psychological and psychiatric “understanding.”

So I hope to share the sentiment of “Hey, come check this out with me!” versus, “Well, you oughtta…”
 
I’m sorry you’ve experienced this. Studying definitely does count.

In my experience, the Internet tends to be the refuge for cerebral Catholics. Parishes, not so much.
 
After watching numerous episodes of “The Journey Home” on EWTN, there have been so many cases of people literally studying themselves into Catholicism, that I think you are in good company. Not everyone is able to do that, and some have other roads into the Church. But I’m always astonished by those who read reams of history and theology and find themselves in the Church as a result. And if you’re reading the mystics, that’s an entirely distinct way of spirituality, even beyound the intellectual.
 
As St Paul would say, the eye cannot tell the hand “I have no need for you”, and the head cannot tell the feet “I have no need for you”.

What would the Body of Christ be without a brain ? It doesn’t prevent it from having a heart. Both are needed, both require different gifts and charisms.

Please keep studying !

I’ll add that in my own tradition too, I have often met the idea that there is an opposition between the intellectual aspects of faith, seen as self-centered and profiting only the person who studies, and the caritative reaching out. To me, that dichotomy is false. Studying, at the very least, does change the person one is, which in turn effects the community to which one belongs. And my church would do well to remind itself that there is no real charity without truth – but who is going to know what truth is if nobody studies ?
 
@Brian_K It sounds like studying brought you into the faith. So yes, studying does count.
Also If you study theology to be closer to God or better serve Him, then yes, studying does count.
And yes it might be that studying will allow you to bring in someone else.

The person who confronted you is just wrong about this. Please don’t let him discourage you.
 
Brian_K said:
then I get “admonished” as he passes by, then he ducks into the church, and I’m standing there like, “Um, am I an a-hole?!..should I even go in?”
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His behavior reflects on him, not on you. Please, never fail to attend Mass because someone else criticizes you.
 
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