Style v.s. Holy Attire

[msemaxime]

My son (25 years of age) wears earings, his personal preferences. He dressess nice otherwise when attending Mass on Sundays. He aurgues with me over other peoples prejudices toward forms of dress that differ from his own. When I was young my father had a problem with me wearing long hair or cologne to church when I was younger. They are not the same but I need help regardless. How do I help him see the concept of holy attire when attending mass? And do I have a leg to stand on?

I see a hidden agenda in the way some people dress. You know, ‘Let my freak flag fly’ thing. Which in my mind seems like a prejudice toward other who don’t look like us if we were to wear our hair long or an ear ring or two. How do I help him see my point?

 

[jc-servant]

I think it might be a little late for you to change his mind since he is an adult. He will need to realize for himself what is appropriate. Some people grow in their faith life and come to a conclusion that they should change their attire or grooming, others do not. Having a father try to tell their offspring what to wear or what others should wear at age 25 would have to be something likely to raise the resistance.

He is still probably trying to establish his identity as a man separate from you, so I would say to choose the battles wisely. Since it appears that he is not even the one wearing the clothing that you disapprove, why “argue” with him? I would save the disagreements for something a little more consequential in his life. If this is merely a genuinely friendly debate, then I would suggest that you do some research and have at it. You probably won’t change his mind, but since he is not the one dressly badly no worries.

 

[1ke]

Boys have been wearing earrings since the early 80s. This is hardly a novelty or innovation. Prior to that, it was a statement of sexual orientation when a guy wore an earring, but with punk and rock became mainstream.

Honestly, you are lucky the rings are in his ears.

I don’t think earrings are any sort of “statement” or inappropriate for Mass. And, at 25, he is old enough to dress himself and decide what he will wear.

 

[Phemie]

Having raised two sons I can sympathize.

My youngest decided in high school that he’d blended in long enough. He saved up his money and had his hair bleached almost white, then to that he added blue. I saw him come to Mass clean but with pierced ear, pierced lip and spiked blue hair. Really, I didn’t care. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t do drugs, he did well in school, he was polite and if he wanted his hair to be plaid I wouldn’t have argued - the important thing was that he was dressed modestly and he was THERE. I wouldn’t have expected him to remove the things that were important to him when they didn’t have any bearing on his behavior at Mass.

His brother didn’t go for coloured hair until he was in university but he was a guitar player and he wore long nails and long hair.

 

[Eilish_Maura]

Boys have been wearing earrings since the early 80s. This is hardly a novelty or innovation. Prior to that, it was a statement of sexual orientation when a guy wore an earring, but with punk and rock became mainstream.

Just a note - earrings on males was also a thing with some parts of our military service - in the 70s I had a teacher who was quite a bit older who wore a diamond stud in one ear and it was tied to something re his service in one of the wars.

 

[Phemie]

Just a note - earrings on males was also a thing with some parts of our military service - in the 70s I had a teacher who was quite a bit older who wore a diamond stud in one ear and it was tied to something re his service in one of the wars.

Sheesh, what military service would that have been?? A male wearing an earing was considered out of uniform in our military. They were ordered not to wear them on duty.

 

[Spiller]

Boys have been wearing earrings since the early 80s. This is hardly a novelty or innovation. Prior to that, it was a statement of sexual orientation when a guy wore an earring, but with punk and rock became mainstream.

Honestly, you are lucky the rings are in his ears.

I don’t think earrings are any sort of “statement” or inappropriate for Mass. And, at 25, he is old enough to dress himself and decide what he will wear.

It goes back a helluva lot further than that in history. For a long time the saying was “a ring on one’s) left (ear) is right” and if a male wore on one his right ear he was advertising that he was homosexual. Now most guys who wear earrings in their left ears today are aging wannabes from the 1970’s and '80s who haven’t kept up. Far cooler for men to wear earrings in BOTH ears today…

 

[Eilish_Maura]

Sheesh, what military service would that have been?? A male wearing an earing was considered out of uniform in our military. They were ordered not to wear them on duty.

This was a much older man and I am having a hard time remembering the story but I have also heard it from older sailors.

I believe the first time I heard it was in terms of being one of the few remaining members of his unit returning - and I NEVER mentioned his wearing it while in uniform.

 

[ac_claire]

I don’t know about “holy,” but as a woman I just want to say that earring(s) on a man is Just Not Attractive. In any era, or at any age.

 

[Karmastrike]

While its not the best, be thankful hes even GOING to mass at that age.

 

[Catholic90]

I don’t know about “holy,” but as a woman I just want to say that earring(s) on a man is Just Not Attractive. In any era, or at any age.

Hmmm, speak for yourself!

 

[CarrieH]

I don’t know about “holy,” but as a woman I just want to say that earring(s) on a man is Just Not Attractive. In any era, or at any age.

To each her own. My boss is 62 and wears an emerald stud in his left ear – because he is Irish. He also has gorgeous gray hair down to his shoulder blades which he wears in a braid. On him, that look is very attractive. Heck, at his age, he’s lucky to HAVE hair to grow long! I think he’s a “hottie.” (I’m in my 50’s, BTW).

 

[Phemie]

To each her own. My boss is 62 and wears an emerald stud in his left ear – because he is Irish. He also has gorgeous gray hair down to his shoulder blades which he wears in a braid. On him, that look is very attractive. Heck, at his age, he’s lucky to HAVE hair to grow long! I think he’s a “hottie.” (I’m in my 50’s, BTW).

I’m also in my 50s and I also like an earing on a man. Not that DH is likely to run out and get one, or get hair for that matter But I’ve got male friends of different ages who wear them and I’ve always liked them. I don’t particularly like multiple earrings whether they’re worn my males or females.

 

[dprewett]

He is 25 years old!!! Leave him alone and thak God every night he is going to Mass instead of nursing a hang over. Making a joke about it is one thing but if you make to much of a fuss his next girl friend he brings over for sunday dinner may have a nose and toung ring to accent her 32 tattoes. Trust me, at 20 my mom got on me about the way I was dressing and the next Thanksgiving I brought oner a girl who had a carrer dancing at night and no it was not for school.