Submitting yourself to God’s Holy Will

[Tis_Bearself]

In theory this sounds great. I mean, God’s will is going to happen anyway, most likely. God is very persistent. So why not just submit yourself to it and have done with it?
Putting stuff in God’s hands can also be a load off one’s mind.

It’s also fairly easy to submit to God’s will when something’s already happened and you can’t change it. Like my loved one died. Ok, they’re dead, God is not going to send them back from the morgue or funeral home to live their earthly life, so one submits because one has to.

The problem I have is with submitting to whatever God might plan in the future. I’m a worrywart so I can imagine all sorts of disasters that God might will. On the other hand, I see a lot of people including saints who lived to ripe old ages without too much disaster happening, so we don’t know for sure. The uncertainty puts me in a state of, “I submit to your Holy Will, but please don’t make it too hard.”

How does one get past this?
Is it necessary to get past this?
Can we simply trust God to give us what we need when he throws the big monkey wrench at us? Like Corrie Ten Boom’s story of her father telling her God gives the soul the grace to face death right before it happens, like how the father gives Corrie her ticket for the train right before they board.

Thoughts appreciated, please be kind.

 

[graciew]

It is personal but it is really among a big bunch of decades long friends that we “ rewire” each other in a hopeful and positive mood when we are in the lows.
It has taken turns, after decades of water flowing under the bridge , we have all had the good and the bad. And after meeting, which we do periodically, or immediately “ by emergency”,listening, talking, laughing or crying, this sort of weight distributed among so many warm shoulders and so many prayerful hearts weighs so much less. And sometimes it just, disappears.
I love them dearly and honestly think they have been God’s gift ever since school days and I am so grateful.

 

[Kei]

Why do you worry about the coming years when you aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

With all due respect, that was neither helpful nor kind.

Yes, the Church reminds us daily we could die any minute, at which time all earthly problems will end/ become moot. However, telling someone they shouldn’t ever think about the future because any minute we might die or the world might end makes zero sense. We have plenty of Catholic prayers focusing on accepting God’s will and on the future. By your reasoning, the prayers should just focus on the next 24 hours max.

 

[Kei]

Sorry about that. From the story of a saint who was taking a lot of penance. The devil would tempt him, saying that he cannot go on with such penance for oh so many years. But the saint’s reply is that he can’t promise him tomorrow.
Focus one day at a time. Every day we have demons to defeat, temptations to conquer, prayers to say, our Lord to please, and others to help.
What to do when the monkey wrench comes in? Just take it that day with charity. Pray much. Just expect it to happen, and then go forward without fear of when (if) it eventually does happen.

I don’t think we should assume a saint had relatively little suffering simply because the bio is lacking. Who knows what they dealt with personally.

 

[adgloriam]

How does one get past this?
Is it necessary to get past this?

I was wondering when you were going to ask these questions which you summed up very well, here:

The problem I have is with submitting to whatever God might plan in the future.

Keyword here is not submitting, keyword here is: trusting:

I’m a worrywart so I can imagine all sorts of disasters that God might will.

You know how scripture says: Don’t let anything cause you anxiety. The Holy Spirit is not of worries. [Well, full trust in God whatever disaster might come.]

I see a lot of people including saints who lived to ripe old ages without too much disaster happening

• Common psychological twist of the faith here Bear: You feel smashed by adversity and saddened by circumstances. So you ask: What’s the justice in this? (and a person might find none - searching for your guilt and justice is a pitfall here).
• [Remember prophet Jeremiah and the book of lamentations? Well, don’t complaint or grumble - but you are absolutely right to lament and lament and cry your heart out. Jeremiah cursed the day he was born, Elias asked God to end it. That is how extreme suffering can get, the saint prophets weren’t. But hang in there Bear, God will act in your favor.]
• Then you feel tempted to compare your circumstances with those of fellow man. (and some will have seemingly better circumstances). You see the temptation leading to questioning God’s justice?

“I submit to your Holy Will, but please don’t make it too hard.”

No sane wise person wants to suffer. This is a normal thing to ask.

Perhaps in a nutshell: Your recent change in “state of life” takes some time, and a heavy psychological and emotional toll. That is only natural and intertwines with the faith. You can see from your own wording that is exactly what you are describing.

Thoughts appreciated, please be kind.

You’re in my heart Bear whilst we’re still in this valley of tears. I’ll offer what meager prayers I can muster these days. God bless. (keep strong in your prayer life!!!)

@graciew had some good social advice. Those with a numerous good friend circle keep busy and have a support network. If you can Bear, call some good friends and don’t be shy to drop by their house - at least you’ll be distracted and find some meaning in others. This does work wonders!!

 

[Dan_Defender]

On the one hand, I try not to think about tomorrow, because the day brings with it enough troubles.
On the other hand, I pray for a good death.
My mother was very much a worrywart. Any little thing and she would extrapolate it to her potential imminent death. And yet, the last week of her life, when death was really at the door, she had such peace she would tell us she was certain to die but in the most serene way that she sounded like a different person. We would be stressed and holding back our tears while she would just smile at us in peace. A good death is truly a blessing. Anyway I don’t know if that helps but great faith and trust in God is what carries us through.

 

[graciew]

Thank you, adgloriam.
Tis,sometimes when a very hard event happens, some of us manage to cope very well at the beginning.And then , at some point, our strength and defenses and all that helped us so much at the beginning , kind of fall down.It is like a pilot in an emergency and turbulence…at some point he will really need a rest…
It is as if our “ emergency mode” works very well, and then we fall into a different mode , very expectable, very normal… which is somehow more “ real” .
I just want to say that I appreciate your presence here and that I will pray for you.
Cannot invite you for an outing but well, feel free to send me a message or whatever may give you a little of a break if you want…
Take care, dearTis…

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I struggle with where the boundary is between “I did everything humanly possible” and “the rest is God’s will”, and then feverishly try to find that one perfect solution (“maybe there’s one more thing I could be doing!”)

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Thank you for your kind words, adgloriam.

Just one thing though,

So you ask: What’s the justice in this?

I actually don’t ask that. I don’t feel like God has been unjust. Lots of reasons for that.
If anything God was kind and merciful.
I do worry about what more bad stuff might be coming over the hill and the potential effects on certain living beings especially.

I have chronic anxiety and constantly have to be thinking of all St. Teresa of Avila’s anti-worry prayers, and St. Padre Pio’s “Pray, hope and don’t worry” and so forth, in order to keep functioning.

Furthermore, if one does a lot of old traditional devotions then there’s a lot of stuff about accepting whatever death God gives you, and rather awful stuff about victim souls asking for sufferings. I know there is a debate about the psychology of victim souls and whether they are even relevant post-Vatican II but in any event I have not reached the psychological point to be able to think about such matters in relation to myself too much.

I know this is not making much sense but I’m not feeling too coherent lately and I don’t expect any big breakthroughs…again thank you for your support

 

[Limoncello4021]

I strongly recommend Fr. Jacque Philippe’s book Searching for and Maintaining Peace. He addresses this issue fully and wisely. Here’s an excerpt that has helped me:

“It is important to unmask a frequent and very clever trick of the devil to trouble and discourage us. Faced with certain goods that we possess (a material good, a friendship, an activity we enjoy, etc), the devil, in an effort to prevent us from abandoning ourselves to God, causes us to imagine that if we put everything in God’s hands, God will effectively take everything and “ruin” everything in our lives! And this rouses a sense of terror that completely paralyzes us. But we must not fall into this trap. Very frequently, on the contrary, the Lord asks only an attitude of detachment at the level of the heart, a disposition to give Him everything. But he doesn’t necessarily “take” everything. He leaves us in peaceful possession of many things when they are not bad in themselves and can serve His designs, knowing how to reassure us with respect to scruples that we might have in enjoying certain goods, certain human joys, scruples that one frequently finds in those who love the Lord and want to do HIs will. And we must firmly believe that if God requires effective detachment of us, relative to this or that reality, He will have us clearly understand this in good time. He will give us the necessary strength. And this detachment, even though it is painful at the moment, will be followed by a profound peace. The proper attitude then is simply to be disposed to give everything to God, without panic, and to allow Him to do things His way, in total confidence.”

Fr. Philippe recommends on the next page praying Psalm 23 frequently.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Thank you, Limoncello. That book sounds like just what I am looking for. I will definitely check it out.
God bless.

 

[Francis]

@Tis_Bearself

In theory this sounds great. I mean, God’s will is going to happen anyway, most likely.

Well, we do wish and pray, as Jesus taught us, the Our Father ,God’s will be done,but there are many things in this world doesn’t happen according to the will of God ,right! ,it’s just that God is merciful and overlooks our faults, so that some may repent and come back to Him.

God is very persistent. So why not just submit yourself to it and have done with it?

Taking things for granted ,count me in here ! ,let work on this part and take Him seriously.

Putting stuff in God’s hands can also be a load off one’s mind.

Nice! that’s all we need to do, like little children ! Psalm 73:23 Nevertheless I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

It’s also fairly easy to submit to God’s will when something’s already happened and you can’t change it.

Your right !,but still, your work or part is not done yet ,so your responsible to pray for the soul of the deceased loved one and Mass and all ,am sure you do ,be at peace!

The problem I have is with submitting to whatever God might plan in the future.

i love that song one day at a time sweet Jesus that’s all in need to know!, and take it to the lord in Pray i mean what a friend we have in Jesus! .i hope it helps , end all your prayers in Luke 1:38 Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

I’m a worrywart so I can imagine all sorts of disasters that God might will. On the other hand,

Yes,we don’t know for sure what God is sending us each day or the future and at the end of our lives. what we must worry or be more careful is ,for our souls and die in a state of Grace ,we need to pray for that each day, we should avoid the occasions of sin and grown in virtues. we have not yet totally surrendered ourselves to God in all situations like Mother Mary did ,the problem here is we try to do things our way and decide what we want even in situations not in our control ,we only surrendered certain thing and not all ,the solution here is total surrender to the will of God with complete love and trust like a Child. Luke 1:37 For nothing will be impossible with God.”

“I submit to your Holy Will, but please don’t make it too hard.”

Wow! Now your taking ! That’s a wonderful prayer 2 Corinthians 4:16 So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

i love that song one day at a time sweet Jesus that’s all in need to know!,

Yeah, that’s totally me for the whole last year.
Sometimes it’s even like “one minute at a time, Sweet Jesus!”

 

[TechieGuy]

The uncertainty puts me in a state of, “I submit to your Holy Will, but please don’t make it too hard.”

That seems to me like a perfectly reasonable state to be in.

Maybe just go with that for a while and see how it goes.

 

[Camehome4john6]

I’ve been through stuff (2 times my daughter needed open- heart surgery among other stuff). Stuff made me have anxiety. One doctor called it PTSD. We go through life knowing that stuff can happen but not truly thinking that it can happen to us. When stuff then does happen to us, the mindset can become one of stuff has happened so I know it can happen to me when is the next thing…

So I often pray “God be gentle to me” even as I pray for more trust. I don’t think it’s wrong. He knows me better than I know me.

Heavenly Father, please be gentle to Bear right now. Our Lady, hold her in your loving, motherly embrace.

 

[Kei]

For a couple reasons:

1. to help others
2. appropriate recreational time can be necessary.

But, the purpose of the comment is to say to not worry about the righteousness you will eventually need, but the righteousness needed right now for what you do. Pray for grace and it will immediately come to you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I have been doing that for a while, but it feels like I’m not totally abandoning myself to God’s will, which at some point is going to be necessary in the quest for perfection.

I also have kind of a past history of being really nervous of fully embracing steps on the spiritual path that, once embraced, turn out to be just fine and not a big deal. For example, I was afraid to make a Marian consecration for almost a year because I was afraid I would lose control of where the benefits of my prayers were going. Finally I just went and did it and it’s just fine because (as a priest confirmed) if I ask Mary to please direct my indulgence to a certain soul or whatever, she will grant my request if it’s at all possible (obviously if the soul is either in heaven or hell and not in purgatory then the indulgence benefit has to go to help someone else).

So I suspect this is just another case of my not fully understanding what is going on and why I should just do this.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Yeah that’s a good prayer, thank you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It would be nice if I had decades long friends like you do, graciew, but that’s just not my lot in life. My husband was my friend. You are blessed to have such people in your life. I have had periods of time of having groups of very close friends, but the relationships became unhealthy and I had to break off with most of them. Others just fell out of touch as they pursued different interests. Perhaps in the future God will bless me with groups of friends that are more healthy and stay around.