Successful Catholic parents?

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mathematoons

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I’m planning to have children, and I would like to learn what Catholic parents who have managed to raise sincere, devout Catholics who are still strong in the faith have done. Any examples, whether a book or website you have seen, or someone you know, would be appreciated. Thanks!
 
How about walking up to people after Mass, asking them “were you raised Catholic?” when you find a Cradle Catholic, talk to them.
 
I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that anyone who has raised adult children (successful or otherwise) didn’t get their parenting skills from a website.
 
The most important thing you can do in raising successful kids is to faithfully say the rosary for (and even with!) your kids; No matter where life takes them, the rosary is a powerful tool in keeping the family together and faithful to the Church. Most devout families my wife and I have talked to, consistently say the rosary was vital. That, along with going to Sunday mass as a family, are both very important.

Dads play a huge role in passing on the faith to kids; I’ve heard that said many times.

Best wishes in your own family; Children are wonderful!
 
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I have to agree that a dad practising the faith alongside the mother is extremely important.
Also saying a rosary for you kids daily.
Praying with your kids is very important but always be cognizant that their prayer life is not as developed as yours. If you force them to pray too much, you will turn the away from prayer.
From a very young age (3 or 4) sSunday mass is not an option, it should become a “it’s what we do” activity. Never even allow a complaint or question about this. And ALWAYS go on vacation.

Once past the age of reason, take you kids to confession once a month. Again, this is never optional ( beyond scheduling it around their activities).
 
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Does this mean that those parents who raise children who then decide to leave the Church are failures as parents? Kids grow up and have free will.
 
No, it means I would like to hear ideas to help raise my future children Catholic. As the Bible says, “It is better to die without children, than to leave ungodly children.” When you get one shot at something, it seems logical to prepare beforehand. There’s no hidden agenda.

Not everything is intended to label certain people as “less Catholic,” as people on this board seem to think. (Although, now that you ask, I do think that people who raise their children as if Catholicism were not real will generally end up with unbelieving children.) Frankly, this kind of knee-jerk angry reaction is why I so rarely post on these forums anymore.
 
mathematoons said:
It is better to die without children, than to leave ungodly children
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My advice, as the mom and godmother and teacher of many kids who have now become adults, some of the kids who were the most Godly, the kids who aced the Confirmation Test and who knew apologetics backwards and forwards, still stopped practicing. At the same time, some of the wild ones end up as Priests.

“Forming Intentional Disciples” and “Converting the Baptized” are important books for everyone including parents. Another excellent book is “Why Christian Kids Rebel”.

The big key is to foster critical thinking in your home. Allow the hard questions, and help your kids know where to find the answers or how to accept when the answer honestly is “it is a mystery”. Learning philosophy is important to combat the modern, emotional atheism. Trent Horn is an excellent resource, as are blogs like Strange Notions and podcasts like those done by podcaster “Max Kolbe”.

In the end, kids know what is genuine and what is not. If mom and dad come home from Mass only to criticize what Sally Sue was wearing and how terrible the homily was, if mom and dad hear that the Jones’ daughter is pregnant or the Smith’s son is gay and then say “I knew that that kid would end up that way” instead of “we need to show our love, let’s throw a baby shower for the Jones family” or “let’s have the Smiths over for dinner, and be sure to invite all of the kids!”. Your kids know if you walk the walk, and that makes them more likely to consider your faith something real.

But, never think you fail if your kid grows up to leave the Church. How we parent our adult kids in those times is with the love of the Father.
 
mathematoons said:
Not everything is intended to label certain people as “less Catholic,” as people on this board seem to think. (Although, now that you ask, I do think that people who raise their children as if Catholicism were not real will generally end up with unbelieving children.) Frankly, this kind of knee-jerk angry reaction is why I so rarely post on these forums anymore.
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Honestly, this what you posted is more of a “knee-jerk angry reaction” than what TheLittleLady posted.

My parents were good Catholic parents, and did all the things mentioned in this thread. I stopped practicing as an adult because of my own issues, not because of how they raised me. At this time my mother died, I was still only sporadically practicing (my father had died many years before).
Does this mean my parents were “Unsuccessful Catholic Parents”?
Does it mean my parents left an “ungodly child” and that it would have been better if they just hadn’t had me?

I returned to active practice after my mother had been dead for a few months.

You might want to think about how your posts sound to others rather than just blaming others and complaining about the forum.

I find the whole use of “success” in this context to be misplaced.
 
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What about those who raise multiple children and some follow God and some don’t? Should we have less people having children who become saints and priests because some of their other children fall away?
 
TheLittleLady said:
The big key is to foster critical thinking in your home. Allow the hard questions, and help your kids know where to find the answers or how to accept when the answer honestly is “it is a mystery”. Learning philosophy is important to combat the modern, emotional atheism. Trent Horn is an excellent resource, as are blogs like Strange Notions and podcasts like those done by podcaster “Max Kolbe”.
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I think this may be important for some kids who are more on a seeking or philosophical quest.

I know for a fact that my parents knowing any of this gunk would NOT have helped me to stay in the Church. I never had an issue with atheism and I find most of this philosophical stuff people post to be a big useless bore even as a practicing adult.

I guess the advice I would add is “know your child”. If the child is interested in these kinds of “belief and unbelief” questions, or philosophers, then at least know what resources to direct him to for answers, even if you don’t read philosophy yourself. If, on the other hand, the child is like me and thinks that stuff is a waste of time, skip it and point him to something more down to earth, such as Father Mike videos.
 
I would say to raise them around other Catholics. And not just on Sundays. Hang out regularly with other Catholics (and I mean ones that take their faith seriously). Have them over for dinner. Have your kids play with their kids. Make sure you have Catholic friends with older kids. When your kids are a bit older, try to be there for parents with younger kids.

It’s important for faith to be tied into a community for them. This also gives them older children (who hopefully are good Catholics) to model themselves after. Historically, everyone was raised in a continuum of ages, now we tend to segregate into children, teens, young adults, and older adults, and in general I think it’s been bad for us. Most of us look up to those older than us to model our behavior, but not too much older. I have an easier time getting my kids to do something if they see an older kid/teen doing it. Similarly teens will be more willing to model young adults. Etc. If you have a community of all ages, it’s easier to pass down lifestyles, behaviors, and even the faith than trying to hand it from adult to child.

Additionally, I find many kids want confirmation from other adults that they are on the right path, so having a community allows you to confirm other children in their parents’ faith and vice-versa.
 
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