Oh, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. As many others on this forum know, I lost my fourth child last March in an accidental drowning. I do know what you’re going through. You have come to the right place. God’s grace is sufficient, amazingly. I want to share with you the text of 2 emails. I sent an email to a well known priest right after Gabriel died. These were his responses…
First of all, no, God is neither punishing you nor giving you a harsh parenting lesson. God is a loving Father who sometimes permits terrible evils for the reason of drawing a greater good out of the experience. The consummate example of this is Jesus dying on the Cross. It is the worst evil: Deicide–creatures executing the Creator; yet, it is the greatest good: the good of Redemption.
When my little sister was killed along with 4 of her classmates a few days after her 14th birthday coming home from their first high school football game, we all had alot of questions and doubts.
The fact of the matter is that such things remain wrapped in the
mystery of God and His eternal designs for all creation.
The bottom line is this: little Gabriel, like the angel he is named
for, was meant to remain pure and beautiful with not the slightest
shadow of sin to mar his God created perfection. God’s garden has many different flowers. Some are the lillies of such innocense and purity.
Gabriel is not gone, just removed to a better place awaiting your
coming to join him. He will pray for you to help you on your journey. He has arrived. We have not. We are in peril. He is not. We have many concerns, dangers, and troubles along the way. He does not. He is now eternally arrived.
In a world so infested with moral decay, pitfalls, snares, and
enemies Gabriel is untouched by any of it. He is forever innocent, beautiful, and safe in Jesus, who made it possible through His Cross and Resurrection.
I shall pray for Gabriel so that he might pray for us. He no doubt
doesn’t need it. We do.
And the second…
The loss of a child is probably the hardest and heaviest cross of all, but Jesus truly does give this Cross to His best friends that they might give Him glory through their humble carrying of such a weight of sorrow. The joy is in knowing that the Cross isn’t the end of the story, the Resurrection and Ascension are. Gabriel is not gone, just moved to a higher location. He awaits us all.
What was the date of her death? How is her sister doing now. You are welcome to send me a message if you want to talk things through. In the meantime, consider picking some special items to keep close. We immediately started a list on the computer of memory bites so we could type things in as we recalled them. You know, those little things that made her, her.
My parish priest told me two things…
- Keep your horizon high.
- Pray for the intercession of your precious saint. You have borne and raised a saint. Mission accomplished.
I will pray for you and ask Gabriel to pray for you.
Jennifer
