Sudden Death of our 13 Year Old Daughter

  • Thread starter Thread starter MGEISING
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Dearest Moe,

My heart and soul pray for you and your family. You are in my prayers.

I cannot begin to comprehend my 3 and a half year old son being taken away from me. I do not know what to say to you except from the very bottom of my heart and soul i am so sorry… 😦
May God bless your family and give you the strength it takes to endure the future.

I too will offer my Holy Communion this Sunday for your beautiful daughter’s soul and for peace in all of your hearts.

Cry, sob and scream if it makes you all feel better God understands your pain.

There is nothing wrong with you, you are a grieving mother. The Blessed Virgin Mary also understands your pain - she saw her son crucified and knew she could do nothing to stop it. Let her console you as a mother consoles and call out to Jesus - trust in him and anything is possible. Don’t be hard on yourself, i am still grieving after my daddy committed suicide in 2005, and have had problems praying etc… but i know God loves my daddy and me and he understands my grief and broken heart.

With you in spirit.
 
Tweety said:
Dearest Moe,

My heart and soul pray for you and your family. You are in my prayers.

I cannot begin to comprehend my 3 and a half year old son being taken away from me. I do not know what to say to you except from the very bottom of my heart and soul i am so sorry… 😦
May God bless your family and give you the strength it takes to endure the future.

I too will offer my Holy Communion this Sunday for your beautiful daughter’s soul and for peace in all of your hearts.

Cry, sob and scream if it makes you all feel better God understands your pain.

There is nothing wrong with you, you are a grieving mother. The Blessed Virgin Mary also understands your pain - she saw her son crucified and knew she could do nothing to stop it. Let her console you as a mother consoles and call out to Jesus - trust in him and anything is possible. Don’t be hard on yourself, i am still grieving after my daddy committed suicide in 2005, and have had problems praying etc… but i know God loves my daddy and me and he understands my grief and broken heart.

With you in spirit.
Click to expand...
TWEETY:

How kind of you … I have only known one other person who has committed suicide and it was my brother inlaws son … I truly believe that people who take their own lives are not in their right minds … and I am sure that the Lord has looked upon your Daddy with Mercy.

I shall pray for his soul … my own dad is up in heaven … I know for a fact … because he was an amazing dad … and I shall ask him to seek your daddy out … I will be heading up to bed to start saying my rosary … and shall keep you, as well as all my CAF friends who have shared their sorrows with me.

I am reading an incredible book that someone gave me … it is amazing … and really helping me … and I shall share bits and pieces of it on this post … really makes you look at scripture … and how much truly Jesus, our Lord and God, suffered before he died and I am sure is very sad … seeing this earth and what we are doing to it and each other.

Thank you for taking the time to write me … as well as all my CAF Friends.

This is so hard … I have been faithful all my life … worked very hard to have children (I was told I couldn’t have any) … and our oldest Mandy was a triplet (lost two siblings by 12 weeks) and McKayla was a twin (lost before 12 weeks). So our road has been long and arduious, but our 13 years (14 with Mandy) have been heaven on Earth. We were all inseparable. (Except when the Red Sox were on … no one would watch it with me :(). But tonight as I was watching them I said … KK — perhaps you are right next to me … watching.

I don’t know — perhaps she has more important things to do.

I just want to feel her and our Lord again … I seem to have been separated from both of them … On March 19 … It is so very hard … I still of course go to Mass … and that is where I cry the most … I get so embarrassed.

Thank you everyone.

Love Moe
 
I still of course go to Mass … and that is where I cry the most … I get so embarrassed.
Click to expand...
Please don’t be embarrassed. When I see folks in Church cry, I am so inspired by their faith, a faith so devout that even in the face of tragedy and despair, they still seek the Lord’s comfort. You inspire me.
 
blessedtoo said:
Please don’t be embarrassed. When I see folks in Church cry, I am so inspired by their faith, a faith so devout that even in the face of tragedy and despair, they still seek the Lord’s comfort. You inspire me.
Click to expand...
Me, too…Sometimes, I am among them…Sometimes, I am inspired by them…
 
Guys the pain is just so unbearable at times … sadness just envelopes us and we have no hope …

Sure we are blessed with what we do have … but right now - the pain of losing her is just so great.

We are just so sad 😦
 
Moe, I am so thankful that you are here at CAF sharing your sorrows. I cry each time I read this thread.

The Lord tells us where two or three are gathered in His name, He is there with us. Here, on your thread about your beautiful daughter, we gather in His name to celebrate her life and grieve with you. As intangible as CAF is as an actual location, I know that God is here with us on this thread.

Hang in there, keep praying, and don’t be embarrassed to cry at Mass. There’s nowhere better to direct our tears than at the foot of the cross, at the sacrifice of the Mass.
 
Dearest Moe,

Never be ashamed to cry, especially in God’s House. I have howled and sobbed…

After dad died, i fell apart, nervous breakdown, went on medication, lost heaps of weight, i was so empty. I found out 2 days before father’s day and my son turning 2. The police had known for 3 months but said they couldn’t find me (we lived in different states, i in the capital of Australia, and my dad all the way over in Western Australia). So my poor daddy was lying in a morgue for 3 months. That destroyed me, how could they? He was so decomposed that i couldn’t see him. I couldn’t attend his funeral (another long story, another guilt trip) The police lied to me and i have it all on paper. THEY caused me so much more grief than what i already had to endure. I am sobbing uncontrollably now, but i need to get this out. (My daddy was also my everything. We were estranged, but we loved eachother.) The police even offered to send me the rope that he used - which i demanded to have after they offered it to me, i wanted to put it around a certain policeman’s neck! AND THE LORD KNOWS THAT I REALLY DID! Maybe it’s a good thing they never sent it to me. I threatened them, i was sent to a psychologist as i had a deathwish for a certain policeman, and i would have killed him (God forgive me - if i had the chance and he would have been in my sight, i do not know for sure) i hated them for not looking for me for 3 months, telling me my dad left 2 notes when after the Coroner’s Inquest they sent me** 6!!! notes . My dad was sick and couldn’t work anymore. Had tests done and they couldn’t find anything, had bowel cancer but they operated 5 yrs previously. The hardest thing is that we were estranged. Had not seen him for 25 years, had not spoken for 10. I sent him photos of my wedding and husband and our gorgeous son as he has my dad’s chin. So i know he saw photos. He rang his cousin’s wife (only relative here, and he was close to them) and told her to tell me that he loved me and that to remember that blood is thicker than water and then that night he hung himself 10 June 2005. His notes were so beautiful. Thank you **to so many people and sorry to so many people. He never wanted me to find out. He told my aunty that he would come and visit me the next year or i could come and see him. He asked for no funeral, no church, he was so down on himself. Well i went against his last wishes and gave him a Catholic Funeral. I have his ashes with me and i chose 3 songs. Carol Kings’s ‘So Far Away’, Bread’s ‘Everything i own’ and the final one was Elvis’ version of ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’. I don’t know now if i made the right choices as they were my songs, i should have had one of ‘his’ songs. My father was not a religious man, Catholic, but not practicing. His best friend told me that his last Christmas he actually went to Catholic Christmas Mass with them. That was a saving grace i believe. Now i think i should have had a religious song… Here i am Lord…I hope he forgives me for going against his wishes. I refuse to put his ashes anywhere far from me. I hold him every 6 months or so when i get really depressed as i do not want to disturb him, but it consoles me… The hardest thing was receiving all his stuff… His shirt is behind me now as i type this, over my chair…How i love him and miss him…
But my pain cannot compare to yours, and i wouldn’t even dare try to compare my pain to yours. You lost a child. That is not comparable to my loss. I freak about my mum dying, but if my son were to be taken from me, i would lose it i think…
I still grieve, i still cry, i have no anger towards him, i forgive him. He has been with me here in the house, so has my mother in law. I am not mad, crazy or a nutcase. I believe that God allows them to communicate with us (sorry to all who don’t) but i have seen it with my own two eyes and i know people who have died but have left little signs for their loved ones. I know even weirder stuff, but i won’t go there. I have a home made video tape of my father talking to me through a light bulb. I know you must all think ‘OMG, she has lost it’ but i tell you the truth. When i asked if it was my daddy, it flickered on and off etc. I asked Jesus, and i got my answer. All who have seen it are amazed with no explanation. My friend Yvonne passed away of cancer 8 years ago and she has come back to visit her family and she was a devout Catholic. She has done some weird things for her husband who was shattered and her 7 children since she has gone to heaven. So i believe and i talk to my dad. My husband was brought up that there is no God and Heaven, but knows his mum has been here in our home too and now wonders about it all.
Talk to your daughter and Jesus. He knows your pain and grief. He will answer you as he did me.
My love to you,
Tweety
 
MGEISING said:
TWEETY:

How kind of you … I have only known one other person who has committed suicide and it was my brother inlaws son … I truly believe that people who take their own lives are not in their right minds … and I am sure that the Lord has looked upon your Daddy with Mercy.

I shall pray for his soul … my own dad is up in heaven … I know for a fact … because he was an amazing dad … and I shall ask him to seek your daddy out … I will be heading up to bed to start saying my rosary … and shall keep you, as well as all my CAF friends who have shared their sorrows with me.

I am reading an incredible book that someone gave me … it is amazing … and really helping me … and I shall share bits and pieces of it on this post … really makes you look at scripture … and how much truly Jesus, our Lord and God, suffered before he died and I am sure is very sad … seeing this earth and what we are doing to it and each other.

Thank you for taking the time to write me … as well as all my CAF Friends.

This is so hard … I have been faithful all my life … worked very hard to have children (I was told I couldn’t have any) … and our oldest Mandy was a triplet (lost two siblings by 12 weeks) and McKayla was a twin (lost before 12 weeks). So our road has been long and arduious, but our 13 years (14 with Mandy) have been heaven on Earth. We were all inseparable. (Except when the Red Sox were on … no one would watch it with me :(). But tonight as I was watching them I said … KK — perhaps you are right next to me … watching.

I don’t know — perhaps she has more important things to do.

I just want to feel her and our Lord again … I seem to have been separated from both of them … On March 19 … It is so very hard … I still of course go to Mass … and that is where I cry the most … I get so embarrassed.

Thank you everyone.

Love Moe
Click to expand...
Bless your soul,

In all your grieving, you are willing to help me in mine. How blessed i feel to have joined this site. I did ask for prayers when my dad died from a catholic site, but i am at a loss as to which one. They were so beautiful in my time of need.

Ask your dad to look out for Charlie, Sonja’s dad. My dad was such a generous man, but had an addiction to gambling (race horses were our family downfall… lost the house, business, everything…)

I truly believe that you will feel your beloved McKayla around you. You just have to be ‘aware’. Did the Red Sox win? Hope so…

Look after your beloved Greg and Amanda xxxx
Love Tweety
 
Hi, Moe, I agree with so many posters here, & we are all praying for you & yours. I agree with you, Lizaanne & Nana3, that your co-worker may have been trying to help you, but she is way wrong. She has bought into ideas like kaarma (sp?) & reincarnation that are completely false. That is a trap that the enemy of God has spread to get people to believe that they have more than one chance at life. I think your discomfort with the conversation is a sign that God is still very much with you. It is just to difficult to feel Him in your pain.

I just read in another post that a woman named BlestOne had a devastating miscarriage. Her posts remminded me a little of yours. Like you, she seems to be like a very special, beautiful person with a beautiful family. You both have been given tremendous crosses & are able to share those experiences poignantly with us.

I agree so much with vluvski that Jesus is here with us in these threads. Posts like yours & BlestOne’s help us to see Him. I mentioned to BlestOne that I just heard yesterday that we rest in Jesus when we pray. I never imagined that before. My prayer for you today is that you are able to imagine yourself with your head on Jesus’ shoulder, because He is is certainly there with you now, with McKayla wrapped firmly next to you in His other arm.
 
mmm1 said:
Hi, Moe, I agree with so many posters here, & we are all praying for you & yours. I agree with you, Lizaanne & Nana3, that your co-worker may have been trying to help you, but she is way wrong. She has bought into ideas like kaarma (sp?) & reincarnation that are completely false. That is a trap that the enemy of God has spread to get people to believe that they have more than one chance at life. I think your discomfort with the conversation is a sign that God is still very much with you. It is just to difficult to feel Him in your pain.

I just read in another post that a woman named BlestOne had a devastating miscarriage. Her posts remminded me a little of yours. Like you, she seems to be like a very special, beautiful person with a beautiful family. You both have been given tremendous crosses & are able to share those experiences poignantly with us.

I agree so much with vluvski that Jesus is here with us in these threads. Posts like yours & BlestOne’s help us to see Him. I mentioned to BlestOne that I just heard yesterday that we rest in Jesus when we pray. I never imagined that before. My prayer for you today is that you are able to imagine yourself with your head on Jesus’ shoulder, because He is is certainly there with you now, with McKayla wrapped firmly next to you in His other arm.
Click to expand...
I know … but like I said it was extremely uncomfortable for me to hear that and it made me really really sad … because if we keep coming back as something else … how do we meet up?

So I don’t believe it and I told him that …

Thanks for your help! Such a comfort coming and sharing our nightmare … and knowing people are praying for us.
 
This may sound silly - but as I was reading the last two posts, I had this mental image of pain as deep as yours, Moe. It is so heavy, dark, and thick - like the heaviest most dense wool blanket or curtain you can think of. And on the other side is God. He’s there alright, just being His Godly Self, but getting between you is this horrible pain, this curtain you just can’t feel through or see though. And so you start to wonder if there truly IS anything on the other side, because all you can see is your side of the pain.

Faith is what helps us know that, even though we can’t see or feel the other side, we know that God is there, just waiting for the day for our curtain to wear itself thin as gauze so we can see Him again, and finally rip it away fully to be with Him.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
Faith is what helps us know that, even though we can’t see or feel the other side, we know that God is there, just waiting for the day for our curtain to wear itself thin as gauze so we can see Him again, and finally rip it away fully to be with Him.

~Liza
Click to expand...
Yes, Liza, what a great description. I only wish the curtin would be ripped away soon …
 
MGEISING said:
I know … but like I said it was extremely uncomfortable for me to hear that and it made me really really sad … because if we keep coming back as something else … how do we meet up?

So I don’t believe it and I told him that …

Thanks for your help! Such a comfort coming and sharing our nightmare … and knowing people are praying for us.
Click to expand...
Sweet Moe,

I would hate to think that while my DH and i are desperately trying for a second child that i could give birth to my daddy???
:eek: :rolleyes: :bigyikes: :hypno: :ouch: :whacky: :nope:

I do NOT like the idea and so i prefer to worship Jesus and not a statue of an animal.

As for the praying … I had a miscarriage 6 months after i found out about my dad, and it is exactly 20 months since i found out about his death, 23 months since he did it, as the police could not be bothered to ring me even though they HAD my address etc… (long story for another time), so he was in the morgue for 3 months before i knew. I still cannot pray. 4 miscarriages, i have been molested as a child, i have had a violent relationship before i met my husband, and have gone through lots of other mishaps in my life - but losing my dad like that… It could have been worse as in he could have been murdered. My priest said not to be so hard on myself and that God knows our hearts before we are even born, so he understands why you don’t feel close to him. I feel distant after all this time… yet there have been times when i really have felt him so close to me… Don’t dwell on it, all in God’s time i believe. At times i feel like the biggest hypocrite praying on Sundays in Mass, but at least i’m there and i do believe. I also believe that each time i enter my Church and burn candles for my deceased loved ones, that also helps them in their journey in heaven. Jesus said there were many rooms in his Father’s house… i think we still learn up there, now that will be a religion class! So i will light a candle for your McKayla and ask our Heavenly mother to console her as she must be missing you as much as you miss her. I know she is with God and that happiness none of us can comprehend until we reach it, but just think, she is with GOD, how awesome, if only i could think like that/have thought like that when my dad died. 🤷 See i am a hypocrite. God forgive me.

There was one night after dad died when i was feeling so low, i felt as if Satan was right at my soul. I was terrified. I was lying in bed inconsolable, shaking, having like a mental episode, i literally could have died! I felt like i was going to be swallowed up whole by something…I called out to Jesus to hold me and console me and i tell you now, when he did i was embraced by such love! He consoled me in such a way that i cannot really explain. That was another ‘real’ thing that has happened to me on my journey with our Lord. I know he does hear our every prayer. I used to think ‘with all the souls in the world, how can God really know ME?’ but the most remarkable thing is that he really does!

As my beautiful mum taught me ‘Lay all your troubles, heartaches and sorrows at the bottom of Jesus’ feet, he will carry your burdens for you out of his immense love for you.’ He died for you and for McKayla so that we could have life everlasting. That is the BEST part of our faith. Just talk to Jesus, don’t worry about the praying part, all in God’s time as he knows your heartache and does not expect from you what you cannot give. Believe me, he still loves me and shows me, even when i feel i do not respect him in the way that i should. If he wouldn’t understand what you are all going through, then he is not the God that i know and love and trust.
 
Tweety said:
Sweet Moe,

I would hate to think that while my DH and i are desperately trying for a second child that i could give birth to my daddy???
:eek: :rolleyes: :bigyikes: :hypno: :ouch: :whacky: :nope:

I KNOW … I ALWAYS HAVE TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE’S BELIEVES

I SHALL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS, AS I DO ALL MY CAF FAMILY … IT IS SO HARD … AND ALL OF US HAVE TO DEAL WITH DIFFERNT THINGS … BUT I BELIEVE … GOD IS WITH US … I DO NOT FEEL HIM OR MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER NEAR ME RIGHT NOW … BUT I TRUST, AS I, WE WORK THROUGH THIS PAIN … EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY … THAT I WILL ONE DAY FEEL HER WARM AND ARMS AROUND ME … THAT IS MY PRAYER … THAT I FEEL HER…

I MISS HER, I ACHE FOR HER, WE ALL ACHE FOR HER, AND JUST WANT TO BE WITH HER.

MAY GOD BE WITH US AND GIVE US THE STRENGTH TO PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER.
Click to expand...
 
MGEISING; said:
Dearest Moe,

I don’t know what to say to you, i feel your heart breaking…

These helped me a little bit, hope they do something for you - if not today, in a month, 6 months, even a year from now…

Conversation with God

I said, “God, I hurt”.
And God said, “I know”.

I said, “God i cry alot”.
And God said, “That is why i gave you tears”.

I said, “God I am so depressed”.
And God said, “That is why I gave you sunshine”.

I said “God life is so hard”.
And God said, “That is why i gave you loved ones”.

I said, “God my loved one died”.
And God said, “so did mine”.

I said “God it is such a loss”.
And God said, “I saw mine nailed to a cross”.

I said, “God your loved one lives”.
And God said, “So does yours”.

I said, “God where are they now”?
And God said, “Mine is on my right and yours is in the light”.

I said, “God, It hurts”.
And God said, “I know”.

God, SPEAK TO ME…

The man whispered “God, speak to me.”
And a meadowlark sang.
But the man did not hear.

Then the man yelled, “God, speak to me!”
Thunder rolled across the sky.
But the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said, “God, let me see you.”
And the stars shined brightly.
But the man did not notice.

And the man shouted, “God, show me a miracle.”
And a life was born.
But the man did not know.

So, the man cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here.”
Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.
But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

I know you are totally numb at the moment and cannot feel anything. But Jesus and McKayla ARE around you. When you sit down and feel that little breeze - it is her… God knows your pain and never asks more from us than we can give. Trust in God and one day you will feel his presence again… Don’t push anything… You are grieving.

You have touched me deeply. Praying that God gives you all the strength that you need to see this through.

My love to you all,
Sonja
xoxoxo
Click to expand...
 
Tweety said:
Dearest Moe,

I don’t know what to say to you, i feel your heart breaking…

These helped me a little bit, hope they do something for you - if not today, in a month, 6 months, even a year from now…
Click to expand...
SONJA - THANK YOU … these are beautiful! I so appreciate your thoughts, prayers, posts … they help tremendously …

Today at Mass Fr. asked if we saw God this week … well I know I have … just hearing posts from my friends.

Love and Prayers,

Moe
 
Dearest Moe,

My eyes cry tears for you, your husband, and Amanda.

I offered up my Holy Communion for your McKayla and as promised lit a candle for her. I will always remember her when i light candles for all my loved ones. I did not know her, but feel as if i know you…:console:

I am SO glad i did not upset you with the verses. I got them from Positive Thoughts. It is a beautiful site. I am subscribed to them (free subscription) through the internet. They helped me when my dad died. I would wake up each morning yearning to read the ‘Positive Thought’ for the day. Some days they were* ‘so perfect’ * for me and my heartache. They have inspirational and christian things… When i felt far away from God, i would read things from there and there were *some *days that i felt closer to him. Lots of beautiful stuff which was very therapeutic for me and when you are ready - may help you on those days…😦

Sending immense love from my heart to your grieving hearts. :grouphug:

Praying for you and your family,

❤️ Sonja ❤️
 
Prayers for your family and for the peaceful repose of the soul of the sweet 13 year old child,

my words are inadequate for what I would like to express.
MGEISING said:
Hi All:

I am desperately asking for prayers from all of you … our daughter McKayla went to environmental camp on this past Monday - and we got a call that she passed out. When we finally drove three hours to see her at the hospital, she had already been commended into the arms of our heavenly Father.

We are heart broken. We had her wake last night - and over 1100 people attened … it was over six hours at the wake … we buried her today — the pain is too much to bear at times.

Please, our Catholic Answers Friends, keep the Geisinger’s in your prayers … McKayla is our heavenly angel that left us for a better place … but we are left with hearts that are broken.

Please keep her Sister Amanda in your prayers … she is only a year older than her sister - they were like twins and best friends. We are beside ourselves.

Her funeral was amazing though … and she has been an instrument in bringing many people to Christ … for this we are grateful.

Please keep the Geisinger’s in your prayers … we miss her terribly and our hearts are just so very sad 😦 Ask God to help us pick up the pieces … our communities and the schools have been amazing and it has been such a humbling experience!

God’s Peace,

Moe Geisinger
Click to expand...
 
Tweety said:
Sending immense love from my heart to your grieving hearts. :grouphug:

Praying for you and your family,

❤️ Sonja ❤️
Click to expand...
SONJA … you (along with all CAF friends) are the angels that are carrying my family through this nightmare …

The days are so filled with pain … but we meet and read and see everything that the Lord is providing for us … his handy work in our lives …

It is just so very lonely … and we ache for her.

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts and insights …

Blessings my friend,

Love Moe
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top