Suffering From Prayer

[katiebelle08]

I need some advice. I am yet again struggling with prayer. Actually I don’t think the struggle has ever dissipated. I am sure I can come up with plenty of excuses to why I don’t pray—or rather think my “prayer” is not worthy to be called “prayer.”

It is my assumption that my prayer life is just dry; but I am not sure this is even accurate. What I am about to say (write) is not going to be easy to put into words—it may even sound harsher than it is intended, but I cannot figure this out no matter how long I allow the thoughts to swirl around in my head. Prayer makes me mad, irritated, or even annoyed. Perhaps this statement is only true in specific circumstances. i.e.: If someone tells me I need to pray about something, or if someone asks me if I have been praying about ____.

Real life example: A couple of days ago dad and I were talking, I mentioned that I have regrets for putting my discernment to religious life above everything in college, but especially in graduate school, because this disallowed me to really make friends. Dad asked me “Do you pray that God will put fiends your own age in your life?” And/Or Do you pray about it?” (We have never talked about prayer before; he never taught me to pray when I was growing up either). Since talking about prayer can make me feel angry I deflected his question.

Maybe I don’t know what my problem is but I am not the type of person that can just shrug it off and not think anything of it. I know prayer is conversation with God but this doesn’t seem to have any meaning to me.

Peace,

KatieBelle08

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

You might want to check out this book on prayer. It’s very realistic about the difficulties of praying, and is currently being used at some seminaries for introductory prayer class.

It goes through three stages of prayer:

1.) Talking at God,
2.) Talking to God, and
3.) Listening to God.

The third is most like “contemplative” prayer, which the CCC says (2709) “should” become a part of Christian prayer life, but frankly very few Catholics I know ever even heard of it.

The book goes into a lot of detail about praying “wrongly” and distractions during prayer and the like.

Plus it isn’t very long, non-technical, and easy to read. It was written by a Jesuit.

You can check out a preview on Amazon:

Armchair Mystic: Easing into Contemplative Prayer

 

[katiebelle08]

Thank you. I will definitely check out this book.

 

[Sirach2]

It is my assumption that my prayer life is just dry; but I am not sure this is even accurate. Prayer makes me mad, irritated, or even annoyed.

I felt this way at one time in my life, and my confessor suggested using more simplified prayer throughout my day, such as short, loving ejaculations, rather than try to use other long prayer formulas. In other words, vary the prayer.

Also, he said this is a sign that my spiritual reading needed to change to something that “feeds” my spirit, and this would be a good springboard to enter into conversation with God, if the words I read are speaking to me.

St. Teresa of Avila said that she always needed a spiritual book to help her enter into prayer. Otherwise, she was dry and had no ability to just “talk” to God. I hope this helps. My favorite book for spiritual reading was “My Other Self” by Clarence Enzler. It is a classic rated 5 stars at Amazon.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Here is an excerpt of the book I mentioned earlier…

CHAPTER TWELVE
When I’m Bored With God
Dealing With Dryness

Orientation

The previous chapter explained that I shouldn’t worry about distractions that come and go in my prayer because they ultimately have little lasting impact. But at some point in my prayer life, I may go through a longer and much more difficult period, wherein my prayer simply dries up. I will receive no graces to enrich my life—no delightful and inspiring treasures floating to the surface. Instead, every prayer time will be filled with restlessness and/or boredom. The problem with dryness is not that something bad happens in prayer, but rather that nothing is happening at all. I just sit there by myself with no sign of the presence of God.

The vast majority of beginners quit praying at this point. Most do not consciously choose to stop praying; they just gradually pray a little less and a little less until one day, they look back and realize that they hardly pray at all anymore. Very seldom do they realize or admit that the reason they quit was because they got bored and lost interest. After all, who would admit—even to themselves—that they were bored with God? Instead, they simply convince themselves that they are just too busy right now and that they will return to it when things slow down (which never happens).

What is tragic about this problem is that this moment of dryness may well be the most momentous of my prayer life. Often, it is at this moment that God is inviting me to a much deeper and more mature relationship with him. Most beginners don’t realize how close they are to something really big. All they know is the emptiness of the experience.

There are three possible causes of the experience of dryness: (1) It could be an external problem; (2) it could be a deeper spiritual problem; or (3) it could be God calling me to a very special period of growth, sometimes called the desert experience. If I have a spiritual director/mentor or a good friend with whom I can share my prayer experiences, the two of us can explore these possibilities together. It is difficult to figure them out on my own because the negative emotions that accompany this dry period might hamper my objectivity. Someone on the outside of the dryness will be able to help me keep the issues in proper perspective.

This chapter briefly explores these three possible causes, paying particular attention to the call of the desert (the third cause). The next chapter explores that calling even further by proposing a few metaphors that help to understand what might be happening in this strange and mysterious moment of my prayer

Thibodeaux S.J., Mark (2011-08-09). Armchair Mystic: Easing into Contemplative Prayer (Kindle Locations 2652-2679). St. Anthony Messenger Press. Kindle Edition.

 

[mountee]

Stick with simply talking to God, don’t allow yourself to have the bad feelings, drive them away with small conversations. God, please help me grow closer to you, I love you. Jesus, I have faith help me have more. Jesus, I am patient give me more patience, etc. I have used this during the dry periods in my prayer life and it has really helped me. I will pray my favorite prayer for you.

Memorare

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

 

[hazcompat]

The goal of the Christian life is union with God, and contemplation is a mysterious experience of that union.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Peace

 

[eschator83]

Hi, Katie, welcome back to Ccom, and many thanks for your support for our Catholic Book Reviews Group. Please come back soon and often.
Over the years I’ve felt dryness in prayer too many times, for many different reasons, but I found several things help a lot. I believe it’s important to try to make specific prayers and prayer-times a habit, and I like to pray the Our Father as soon as I remember to, if I can before I get out of bed, as well as two others I have memorized.
I began to development my own Office, or Liturgy of the Hours, before I ever saw a breviary. Meal times (I try to remember a prayer of thanks every time I put something in my mouth), nine am and 3pm, and evening, in addition to at rising. I put together a book of my favorite prayers of praise, thanks, and supplication, and read them or pray from memory whenever a spontaneous prayer doesn’t somehow jump out. I try to remember before or after each prayer to focus on the Presence of the Trinity, and I have filled several notebooks with various titles (reflections in prayer, inspirations or distractions, etc).
I have come to look forward to prayer-time, and I pray you will to. I have at least a couple dozen books on prayer; one of the best, I think, is Behind Closed Doors, by Paulist Fr Joseph Champlin. St Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises was very helpful, especially with a small group.