Suffering in "Silence"during Adoration

[fivegoldenrings]

My sons take piano lessons near a church that has 24/7 Adoration, and I have enjoyed my weekly visits since Lent. I’m there from about 12:30 until 1:20. There was always silence, until now. The woman who recently took the 1:00 hour asked me (I was the only other person present) if I’d mind if she played her tape of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I said that was fine. (I felt that, as she was responsible for that hour, and I was just a walk-in, that her needs should take precedence.) She plays the tape loudly (and she’s not elderly), and it is sung to a really strange tune (not what you’d hear on EWTN.) I armed myself with earplugs this week, but they didn’t help much. (BTW, I’m the homeschooling mum of many children, so my time of silence with the Lord is precious to me, and not easily obtainable at home. And I can’t zoom off to Adoration more frequently than I do already.) I would love to hear some suggestions of how to (silently) respond to this. I’d never dream of asking her to delay or turn down her tape, for the aforementioned reason. I know I could pray it “with” her (she prays silently) but there are other times when I pray with others each day; this is my treasured alone time with God.Anyone ever experience this type of thing?

 

[puzzleannie]

offer to find her some earplugs for her tape player, and explain that the posted rules on the chapel specify silence. there is no reason she can’t pray the chaplet on tape with earphones, or pray it without the tape. (I assume there are rules posted, if not ask the people in charge).

the question brings to light the larger point, which has become a huge bone of contention in many parishes. Nobody “owns” an hour because they signed up, they are not renting the chapel for an hour. the needs of all using the chapel must be respected, and care must be taken to make sure anyone who visits, casually or regularly, is made to feel welcome in this domicile of the Lord.

 

[JRKH]

Well, I can understand your concern and hesitancy to aske her not to play the tape, but…
She did have the courtesy to ask you if it would bother you. Now you discover it does.

Please take the first opportunity to talk to her charitably about the volume and that, while you appreciate her desire to listen to the Chaplet, the volume is too loud and interferes with your meditation.
Hopefully she can turn it down enough to compensate. If it is still an issue you might even offer to obtain a set of headphones for her.

I suspect she will be willing to try and work something out.

Peace

James

 

[LISA_Annette]

offer to find her some earplugs for her tape player, and explain that the posted rules on the chapel specify silence. there is no reason she can’t pray the chaplet on tape with earphones, or pray it without the tape. (I assume there are rules posted, if not ask the people in charge).

the question brings to light the larger point, which has become a huge bone of contention in many parishes. Nobody “owns” an hour because they signed up, they are not renting the chapel for an hour. the needs of all using the chapel must be respected, and care must be taken to make sure anyone who visits, casually or regularly, is made to feel welcome in this domicile of the Lord.

I agree with this post. Just talk to the people in charge and they will take care of the matter. Everyone should feel welcome and able to pray.

The truth of the matter is that she asked you if you minded, so obviously she sounds like a reasonable person—say that you did not realize it was going to cause you some problems with meditating, and that you want to know if she can use some ear-phones, like the ones on i-pods, like the other post-er said.

This touches on a whole subject of discourtesies that happen in chapels. I used to have an adoration hour right before another lady who came in after me, and she often showed up thirty minutes earlier. i would be praying the rosary, trying to look as deep in meditation as I possibly could, but she would ALWAYS interrupt me to ask silly question about this or that, and this was the ICEBREAKER: she would continue talking, nervously chatting about her day at work, her inconsiderate co-workers. her meddling mother-in-law, her husband’s lack of understanding, her lack of fertility, her past sins I could not get a WORD IN edgewise to say, “well let’s say the rosary together…” She needed counseling and silence seemed to give her the jitters. I listened with my rosary held in my hands, often feeling a little uncomfortable and used. it was so hard for me, because i desparately needed my hour to pray in silence. I know I will be chastised for being unkind, but I asked for another hour—it worked for me, but i know you don’t have this option because that is the ONLY hour you can do. likely

 

[fivegoldenrings]

I appreciate your responses very much! I intend to peacefully pray about what I will do. Today is St. Therese’s feast day (the saint I took as my Confirmation saint; I am a convert) and I recall that there was a nun in her convent that made some really annoying noises during their meditation time; maybe she ground her teeth. Anyway, St. Therese used this as a mortification. It has occurred to me that perhaps I might do this too, or alternately pray in my car. You know, sort of bend my will for love of neighbor and God. That way, only God and myself (and you!) would know what I am doing, and why. Anything for sanctity, right? Again, thank you so much for responding! I feel so understood!

 

[water]

I appreciate your responses very much! I intend to peacefully pray about what I will do. Today is St. Therese’s feast day (the saint I took as my Confirmation saint; I am a convert) and I recall that there was a nun in her convent that made some really annoying noises during their meditation time; maybe she ground her teeth. Anyway, St. Therese used this as a mortification. It has occurred to me that perhaps I might do this too, or alternately pray in my car. You know, sort of bend my will for love of neighbor and God. That way, only God and myself (and you!) would know what I am doing, and why. Anything for sanctity, right? Again, thank you so much for responding! I feel so understood!

Thanks for sharing on how St. Therese had dealt with her situation.

 

[cecilia97]

My sons take piano lessons near a church that has 24/7 Adoration, and I have enjoyed my weekly visits since Lent. I’m there from about 12:30 until 1:20. There was always silence, until now. The woman who recently took the 1:00 hour asked me (I was the only other person present) if I’d mind if she played her tape of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I said that was fine. (I felt that, as she was responsible for that hour, and I was just a walk-in, that her needs should take precedence.) She plays the tape loudly (and she’s not elderly), and it is sung to a really strange tune (not what you’d hear on EWTN.) I armed myself with earplugs this week, but they didn’t help much. (BTW, I’m the homeschooling mum of many children, so my time of silence with the Lord is precious to me, and not easily obtainable at home. And I can’t zoom off to Adoration more frequently than I do already.) I would love to hear some suggestions of how to (silently) respond to this. I’d never dream of asking her to delay or turn down her tape, for the aforementioned reason. I know I could pray it “with” her (she prays silently) but there are other times when I pray with others each day; this is my treasured alone time with God.Anyone ever experience this type of thing?

About a month after I chose my weekly hour for perpetual Adoration at our parish, they started a prayer group that meets at the same time. The nursery is in the SAME hallway area as the chapel (not ideal but we are trying to build soon), and the prayer group people bring their kids during the meetings. The nursery attendant plays loud movies and children yell and play. It can be VERY distracting…we haven’t had another volunteer for the hour and those of us with it have all thought of leaving for a different time.

At first I brought my headphones and listened to soothing Bach cello music and some chant so I could pray. After about two months, everything changed. I hardly hear the children anymore.

One woman visited and mentioned how blessed we were to have the sounds of small children while we visited the Sacrament. That put a different light on it for some of us.

It can be awful. I don’t blame anybody who is bothered by this sort of thing. But maybe after a while it will fade into the background and you’ll be able to focus. Think of it as practice.

 

[LISA_Annette]

St. Therese used this as a mortification. It has occurred to me that perhaps I might do this too, or alternately pray in my car. You know, sort of bend my will for love of neighbor and God.

Hmmmm bending the will for love of neighbor and God…thanks for the reminder! It sounds painful, but it is a good penance—I have such a hard time with these things myself…

 

[LISA_Annette]

.

One woman visited and mentioned how blessed we were to have the sounds of small children while we visited the Sacrament. That put a different light on it for some of us.

What a beautiful outlook—seeing the glass half full!

.It can be awful. I don’t blame anybody who is bothered by this sort of thing. But maybe after a while it will fade into the background and you’ll be able to focus. Think of it as practice.

Yes I could use the practice in my day to day life—Thank you all for the great outlook—I KNEW I visited this site for God’s Sake!

 

[cecilia97]

What a beautiful outlook—seeing the glass half full!

Yes I could use the practice in my day to day life—Thank you all for the great outlook—I KNEW I visited this site for God’s Sake!

Yeah, we were all rather humbled after she said that!

Heck, I’m the first to say I love my quiet time in the chapel and the best days are when it’s quiet and I’m the only one there with Jesus. But…when I saw my hour losing volunteers like rats fleeing a sinking ship I had to stop and think…why do I come to Adoration? Ideally, to pray and adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. But the only necessity is the adoration part. I guess I can do that with kids playing on the other side of the wall. I do it BETTER when it’s quiet, but we’re not really there for us, we’re there for him.

Keep up the good fight and I hope you will get a chance to go during a truly quiet hour soon.

 

[LISA_Annette]

Yeah, we were all rather humbled after she said that!

Heck, I’m the first to say I love my quiet time in the chapel and the best days are when it’s quiet and I’m the only one there with Jesus. But…when I saw my hour losing volunteers like rats fleeing a sinking ship I had to stop and think…why do I come to Adoration? Ideally, to pray and adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. But the only necessity is the adoration part. I guess I can do that with kids playing on the other side of the wall. I do it BETTER when it’s quiet, but we’re not really there for us, we’re there for him.

Keep up the good fight and I hope you will get a chance to go during a truly quiet hour soon.

Gee, I just got back now from a really quiet adoration hour Your Hope is a Wonderful Prayer, Cecilia! there were two elderly ladies and a man that is ALWAYS there (I know he has to be, because it can’t just be a coincidence that I see him there only when I go—which is not often as I have a crying, sleeping, hungry baby all the time ) it was so quiet, it bothered me only for the first five or ten minutes, then I fell into a wonderful peaceful prayer, Thank God … It won’t be this way again, but that is okay—I want the opportunity to practice what I learned here!

God Bless!!