Suffering with joy and peace like the saints. Not for everybody?

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MarthaSo

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Hi.
After years of prayers for peace during suffering. After many prayers over the years to suffer like the martyrs or saints who did so with joy and peace in the Lord.

Why is it that it seems to me my suffering still remains a suffering in the flesh. I still have no joy or peace in my sufferings.

I promise the only reason I’ve become nervously disheartened (I don’t say that lightly) is because I just remembered the many years of the same prayer to please give me peace and the strength of the saints and still there is no peace or joy in this suffering.

I feel like a person who never prayed at all.

I don’t mind the suffering but Christ and the saints have the peace of Christ within theirs, the martyrs marched bravely to theirs and after prayers all I am is ball of flesh suffering more because I’m asking my Father for years to please if not take away the suffering then at least grant me peace about it. And yet, no peace and certainly not the joy the disciples had, nor the martyrs. It only bothers me because I know I can’t grant myself this joy and peace it is s gift from God and if I can’t get it through years of prayer than how can I?

Thanks for lending an ear.
 
Nobody knows your spiritual life but God and yourself. Keep praying. Patience conquers everything. At some point God will give you peace.
 
You have received the strength to bear your suffering. My only advice is to read (and pray with) the great suffering Saints (almost all of them, really) and, since you already have the strength, seek both peace and joy, in that order. Peace will come first. Joy will emerge from that peace.

We will not know in this life the good that comes from our suffering which is offered up. However, reflection on the good that suffering will do should lead to peace. Once peace is realized, reflected on, and thanked for, joy will emerge.

Saints John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, Therése of Lisieux and even one of the best: Saint Bernadette Soubiroux. Making Sense out of Suffering by Prof. Peter Kreeft, Arise From Darkness by Fr. Benedict Groeschel†, C.F.R., and perhaps lastly, Joy in Suffering prayer and novenas in the manner of Saint Therése of Lisieux.

Sadly, from a human standpoint, we must be as patient with the Lord as He has been with us. And, the root meaning of “patience” is to “suffer without complaint” - we all have some distance to go in this regard.
 
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You are very kind. I will admit that it is not easy. But, once even a small amount of progress is made, peace inevitably follows. Peace of heart, peace of mind will free your spirit to reflect more freely and once our focus shifts from ourselves to other sufferers and to God’s promise - eternal reward and the Beatific Vision - joy will appear as a seed which has died only to give new life.

Some seeds sprout quickly and others take time - God’s time. He has given us time and we can only return it to Him patiently with love, knowing that our suffering will quickly draw to a close, replaced by such absolute, permeating, unending joy that we cannot conceive of it.

The trick is to lose ourselves in our suffering: in our of love of God and in our love of those who suffer more than we do.
 
I don’t know the source of your suffering, but mine is often brought about by the actions of others. Then I have to pray for help forgiving them and actually working on it in order to get to peace and maybe even joy (unless someone else comes along and I have to learn the lesson over again!)

Sometimes suffering comes about because of natural forces and then I have to come to terms and accept the fact that God has permitted this to happen to me. One might say this requires me to regain my trust in God? I’m not sure how to describe the process.

Sometimes suffering comes about because of my own actions, and then I have to wait till I am ready to stop kicking myself…
 
Bearing injustice with patience is a spiritual work of mercy - you are living out the Passion and will be rewarded for it. Yet, you, I, all of us must forgive from the heart and pray for those who persecute us.

Easy? By no means, but eternal reward cannot be purchased with temporal actions. God must first be pleased with us - how we emulated His Son’s love and His suffering stemming from that love.
 
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Martha, we all have suffering of some kind in our lives. Sometimes it is constant, sometimes it is temporary. Sometimes it is physical, sometimes emotional. I don’t know much about asking for sufferings, I have enough going on, even when I recognize that things could be so much worse. I know nothing about receiving joy or peace in suffering. I am not sure that every saint willingly embraced their suffering as much as accepted it. I have no expectation of receiving anything for my suffering, it is just something that I pray will vanish or if not, that I will somehow muddle through it.

I realized one day that this one part of the Divine Mercy prayers brings me such a feeling of calm, and a willingness to continue through whatever is going on, that I use it on prayer intention threads constantly.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless, and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible,
look kindly upon us, and increase your mercy in us,
that in difficult moments, we might not despair nor become despondent,
but with great confidence, submit ourselves to your holy will,
which is love and Mercy itself.
Amen.

I hope it can bring you some peace as well, Martha.
 
I know what you’re feeling because I feel the same way. I suffer from several chronic disorders both physical and neurological and of course, that means that it also affects my mind and mood. I know exactly what you mean about not ever feeling any peace. But I read in the book, Searching For and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe, that even if we don’t feel any peace, we should have peace over the fact that we don’t have any. That helped me to not put so much pressure on myself and getting down about the fact that I don’t seem to have any peace. I just keep saying my prayers and offering up my suffering and lack of peace as faithfully and as often as I can. I’ve been collecting quotes over the years that have helped me in my suffering and struggles. Maybe they can help you too.

St. Teresa of Avila once said: “From the vantage point of eternity, even the most miserable life on earth will seem like only one night in a lousy hotel.”

St. Catherine of Siena recorded that God told her: “No pain will be so much rewarded, as mental pain and labour of the heart; for these are the greatest pains of all and therefore worthy of the greatest fruit.”

“If God allows you to suffer much, it is a sign that He has great designs for you and that He certainly intends to make you a saint”—St. Ignatius Loyola

“God sometimes allows us to be in such profound darkness that not a single star shines in our skies. The reason is that we must be reminded that we are on earth only to suffer, while following our gentle Savior along a dark and thorny path. We are pilgrims and strangers on earth. Pilgrims sleep in tents and sometimes cross deserts, but the thought of their homeland makes them forget everything else.”–Blessed Charles de Foucald

I read this quote in a book for those suffering with scrupulosity which certainly gives one a sense of a lack of peace:

St. Alphonsus Liguori said: “Let these souls so dear to God, and who are resolutely determined to belong entirely to Him, take comfort, although at the same time they see themselves deprived of every consolation. Their desolation is a sign of their being very acceptable to God, and that he has for them a place prepared in His Heavenly Kingdom, which overflows with consolations as full as they are lasting. And let them hold for certain, that the more they are afflicted in this present life, so much the more they shall be consoled in eternity: – from Scruples and Sainthood by Trent Beattie

continued…
 
Continued…

I got this quote from a book of letters written by Fr. de Caussade to religious sisters he was directing. The sister he is advising said, “But, I am always in trouble and in great fear of having sinned. This makes life miserable and it prevents me from experiencing the peace of the children of God!”… Fr. de Caussade writes her saying: “It is for the present, I know, but I also know that by these continual terrors, the salutary fear of God takes root in the soul, and it is followed by love of Him. This is how God endeavors to make us disgusted with this life in order to attach us to Himself alone. Know that none can enjoy the peace of the children of God who have not shared their trials. Peace is only purchased by war and is only enjoyed after victory.”

Elsewhere he advises to always make a sacrifice, that is offer up, those moments of worry and general “un-peace”.

These quotes are from the Imitation of Christ:

“The heavenly citizens know how full of joy that day is but we poor banished children of Eve know full well the bitterness and how tedious are the days of our earthly exile. These days are short indeed, but full of evil, sorrow and trouble. We are often defiled by many sins, enmeshed in our own passions, disquieted by a multitude of fears, overwhelmed with unceasing cares, distracted with curiosities and endless vanities, blinded by errors, burdened by labors which wear us down, vexed by temptations, weakened by worldly pleasures and sometimes tormented by poverty and want. When will there be an end of these miseries? When shall we be set free from the bondage of sin and vice?..for now I am bereft, poor and exiled in the enemies country, faced with the battles of daily life which threaten to make me fail you…although my desire is to cling to heavenly things, yet I am dragged down by my unmortified passions. My mind wishes to rise above these things but the weakness of my flesh drags me down against my will. Unhappy person that I am, I fight with myself and am a burden to myself (Job 7:20)

Continue on with what you are doing, labor perseveringly in my vineyard and I myself will be your reward (Gen 15:1) Continue your writing, reading, singing, lamenting, keeping silence, and praying, and bearing your troubles bravely, for eternal life is worth all these combats and more. Peace shall come at a time known only to the Lord. And it will not last a day or a night as we calculate time; there will be light everlasting, infinite glory, unbroken peace and undisturbed rest. Then you will not say What a wretch I am; who will rescue me from this body destined for death? (Rom 7:24) Nor shall you cry out: “Why have I been doomed as an exile?” (Psalm 120:5) for death shall be no more and health of body and soul shall never end; neither shall there be anxiety, but only blessed joy and the enjoyable companionship of heaven.

continued…
 
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I hope these help. And just know that you’re not the only one who struggles with not feeling any joy or peace. There have been many who have come before us who have struggled and many living now who are struggling. I often pray something like: “Lord, if it is your will that I suffer all this without joy or peace then let your will be done!” The saints and spiritual writers teach that we should end every prayer of petition with “But your will be done.” God Bless!
 
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Excellently stated. I remember always Servant of God Fr. John Hardon’s teaching that “the great Saints enjoyed suffering for their love of God.”
 
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