Suggestion on Holy Communion outfit for 13year old girl

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yorkshiregirl

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Good morning all,

I came back to the church, via marriage convalidation, a couple of years back. I was going to let my two children, currently 10 and 12, make their own decision as to whether they would go through communion and confirmation classes however God had a different idea and has been hassling me since Christmas to get them into a class ! I’ve had to wait till now to put their names forward for the next class, which starts in January.

Anyway, long story short, my DD will be 13 by then (in fact only 3 months short of 14). She has almost a worman’s body now and is tall for her age, so obviously something which would have looked ‘sweet’ on a 7 year old is going to be pretty silly on her ! Has anyone had a First Holy Communion for a girl of that age (or of course, older) ?

I would be so grateful for any advice - I would still like it to be a bit traditional as the other’s in her class are going to be the correct age and I don’t want her to feel ancient beside them !
 
Hi, sounds like our situations are quite similar! I have three daughters; the eldest 13 and twins aged 12. Due to a divorce and remarriage I broke away from the church and have come full circle and came back six months ago - annulment application going through at the moment.

My daughters were baptised in May and had their first confession and first Holy Communion in June. They wore their “Sunday Best” which I ensured were as pastel coloured or white as possible - We also bought them for their Baptism a pure white pashmina which the priest blessed and draped around them (this way you’ll still have the keepsake from the day as well) - The plan was, had it not been such a hot day, when they made their first Holy Communion to drape this over their shoulders more to allow them to feel less conspicuous rather than anything else. The service was lovely, the girls loved it and my eldest who is 13 was confirmed that day as well.

Hope this helps but have a word with your parish priest anyway - I’m sure he’ll have come across this situation before!

God bless
x
 
Is she making her FHC with a class? If so, speak to the teacher or the DRE for their guidelines. While the pastel suggestion in the previous post sounds lovely, it may not be permitted. The DRE will probably even be able to tell you some good sources for dresses for older girls.

At our parish, the dresses must be all white. Many years we have almost as many kids from grades 3-9 as we have second graders. But they all have the same guidelines for dresses (white, no bare shoulders, no longer than tea length).
 
yorkshiregirl said:
I would be so grateful for any advice - I would still like it to be a bit traditional as the other’s in her class are going to be the correct age and I don’t want her to feel ancient beside them !
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I teach RCIA for kids/teens, so I have seen a fair number of baptism/First Communion outfits. 😃 First step is to check with the parish to see what guidelines they have. Beyond that, is your daughter super girly or not so much.

We had one girl with one of those long gypsy like skirts that are super popular right now in white with a nice white shirt. That is a little more on the casual, not super girly side, but still very nice looking.

We have also had girls with much fancier dress. If you are going with fancier, I would look at prom dress or bridesmaid dresses. They should have stuff that will be nice on older girls. Something kind of long with a nice A-line skirt maybe? Still very pretty, but not the fluffy little girl type dress.
 
Color white, covering the shoulders, nothing low cut and with sleeves,mid-calf.
Ah…,demure and beautiful. God bless you and your childdren! Peace, Carlan
 
In my opinion, I do not think she would look silly wearing a white dress and veil. But I would listen to how she feels about it and if she is uncomfortable with it, then I would let her wear her Sunday best. Also, I think a white mantilla would look appropriate for her age if she is comfortable with that.

…and I agree with Carlan regarding style.
 
You may want to try the ladies section of a local boutique or consignment store. The things they have may surprise you. I 2nd,3rd,4th, or whatever motion it is for the bridal store. I think that is a great suggestion! When all of our friends were wearing shorts to their you know whats, my mom was shopping for us in the ladies section so that we would be wearing decent clothing. I don’t know what else to tell you except find a store where you are and feel comfortable, and the prices are affordable for your budget!👍
 
Check what the parish’s requirements are and what her taste is, of course.

I wouldn’t buy something specifically designed to be a FHC dress, as you say it is likely to look silly on an older girl. Are you in the UK? Somewhere like Monsoon or East would do a nice white dress, or Debenhams bridal section.
 
I am sure there are nice white dresses that may have even have light colored designs or flowers that are modest & appropriate for a teenager and a pair of dress shoes that come close to the color of the dress.

If she doesn’t want to wear the veil like the younger children, perhaps she can wear on her head one of the following: a white chapel veil, a white mantilla, a head band with a few flowers on top or similar tasteful design, or a small wreath of light color flowers with/without a few ribbons.

My niece was received into the church (all 3 initiation sacraments) when she was a 2nd grader (7/8 years old), and she wore a nice white dress that had very light color flowers on it when she made her First Communion with a small headband wreath like thing on her head as my mother was not able to find the veil in time that she wore and had me & my sister also wear for our First Communions.
 
Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions - I hadn’t thought about ‘rules’ as such so yes, I expect I’d better wait for the first meeting and see what they say about what allowed (its only in September so not long to wait) - I was just so excited about finally shifting myself to get them in that I couldn’t wait to decide what they would wear 😃

She is a bit of a tom boy and so getting her in anything vaguely feminine for Mass is hard enough - in fact she was quite put out when I said the outfit for First Communion couldn’t be trousers! - but she was reading the replies over my shoulder and liked the gygsy skirt idea - at least with a skirt it would give me something to put her in every Sunday after!

I am in the UK - I hadn’t thought about Debenhams but will drag her in their over the summer hols ! I suggested to her about flowers in her hair - she has long naturally wavy hair so a circle of flowers I think would be lovely - or I might get a hairdresser friend of mine to put it in a french pleat and weave the flowers through - ooh look see getting all carried away again 😊

Again thanks for the suggestions - guess I should be thankful I only have one girl - my son is so much easier - I just put out his clothes and say ‘wear that’ and he does !
 
yorkshiregirl said:
Anyway, long story short, my DD will be 13 by then (in fact only 3 months short of 14). She has almost a worman’s body now and is tall for her age, so obviously something which would have looked ‘sweet’ on a 7 year old is going to be pretty silly on her ! Has anyone had a First Holy Communion for a girl of that age (or of course, older) ?

I would be so grateful for any advice - I would still like it to be a bit traditional as the other’s in her class are going to be the correct age and I don’t want her to feel ancient beside them !
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get a dress appropriate for her age
there are children that age celebrating confirmation and other things in other churches as well, so if a white dress is required you should beable to find one that is age appropriate

white is not an absolute requirement either, unless your parish has such a rule
modesty is, however, always required

if the parish has no rule and she is not a dressy kid in general go for something that she might wear again, such as a skirt top combo in white or pastel
 
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