Suggestions for developing patience?

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akarmitage

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I’ve come to realize that God has given me the gift of my stepdaughter so that I have opportunities to work on one of my weaknesses – impatience.

Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I’ve made very much progress, despite my good intentions.

Does anyone have practical suggestions I could implement to help me sustain my efforts? I looked in the Catholic Answers shop to see if there were any books that might help, and I didn’t see any obvious titles.

I’m really trying hard to shift my mindset from the negative to the positive on this topic.
 
As you go through your day, look for small ways you can practice patience or charity. Some guy cut you off in traffic? Try to forgive him quickly. Spend an extra minute or two in prayer. If you’re a fast walker, maybe slow your pace slightly and enjoy the nice weather (if there is nice weather). Be patient with yourself when you recognize your own missteps. I think the more you practice a virtue, the better you get at it.
 
Sure. Take a week off from whatever you do. Then, volunteer full-time in a day-care center with lots of children. By the time you leave (if you’re still in one piece), you’ll have lots and lots of patience with those normally in your life. As my wife says, “Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens.” 😃
 
The most crucial thing to see, dear friend, is that all human beings are creatures; consequently, we are filled with the holiness of God, which sustains us from non-existence. Though some may be evil, rude, irritating, or stupid, they have the same substance and potential as you. Though some may grind upon you, and may test your patience, they are still deigned worthy by almighty GOD to hold them in existence. If God Himself sees enough worth in their existence, shouldn’t we?

When someone is testing you, say a prayer for them. However much you hate the idea of praying for that person, just do it simply. Say “Lord, make him happy in this life and in the next”. This covers your impatience and turns you into a person of good will. Have good will towards even the most disgusting cowards, for you will see yourself in them one day.
 
St. Francis De Sales talks about the practice of exercising the virtues in his book Introduction to the Devout Life. There is a section on patience and general instructions for trying to improve our practice of virtues. I can’t praise it enough. You would never believe it was written 400 years ago.

There is an online translation (you can google it) but I was never able to follow it very well. I have a copy that is translated by John Ryan and it is fantastic.

See if you can’t find it at your library or if they can get it for your through Inter-library loan.

Good luck!
 
akarmitage said:
I’ve come to realize that God has given me the gift of my stepdaughter so that I have opportunities to work on one of my weaknesses – impatience.

Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I’ve made very much progress, despite my good intentions.

Does anyone have practical suggestions I could implement to help me sustain my efforts? I looked in the Catholic Answers shop to see if there were any books that might help, and I didn’t see any obvious titles.

I’m really trying hard to shift my mindset from the negative to the positive on this topic.
Click to expand...
Get married.

Alex
 
:hug1:
akarmitage said:
I’m really trying hard to shift my mindset from the negative to the positive on this topic.
Click to expand...
That’s awesome! I heard someone say once that patience can only be truly developed, by having it tried. You can’t read about it and “have it.”

That said, I think the first thing is to consider how it is like an addiction, or like a spiritual battle, or even like fasting. “You” are not going to succeed; the power of God will win this battle for you.

Your part is to remember that as soon as you begin to feel impatient, pray. Like hunger pangs while fasting, it’s a reminder to think of Him. This is the flesh vs. the spirit - we don’t want to stop and think, we want to act.

Ask for peace; ask for guidance before you respond; ask God to help you see the person before you with His eyes; ask for His strength.

It can be a moment-by-moment battle. Truly, look at it as a battle, approach it with a plan, and I know you will be rewarded! Seek, knock, persevere! 👍

I’ll be praying for you :hug1:
 
Thanks so much for all the helpful suggestions (and the prayers!).

Alex … I’m already married; she’s my stepdaughter.
 
Here are a couple of quotes from SPIRITUAL DIARY Selected Sayings and Examples of Saints

*When we are made to suffer some pains, troubles or ill-treatment, let us turn our thoughts to the sufferings of our Savior. Immediately our own trials will become light and bearable, for no matter how bitter they may be, they will seem flowers in comparison to Christ’s thorns. *S. Francis de Sales

*Be it known that in the eyes of God one gains more merits in a single day through trials given to us by God and neighbor, than in ten years of penances and other practices chosen by us. *St. Teresa of Avila
 
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