Suicide, Atheism, Depression

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anonymous_allen

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First off, I would like to apologize for The negativity and I understand the weight of these topic. But I do want you all to know that if I had another option I would take it but this seems to be the only place where I can find help and people to listen…

It all started a few weeks ago when I began to get doubts about God. Now, as winter break is getting into its full swing I think I am in a depressed state and my Faith is lacking. I am constantly trying to convince myself that’s shod exists and then I think maybe everything is just a huge lie and he doesn’t. And if that’s the case then my life doesn’t matter and why am I even still here. I am so sorry I constantly have to post this stuff on here but I can’t go talk to a Priest and I don’t want to bother my friends or family.
 
  1. If you are depressed or having suicidal thoughts, please get some mental health help immediately. Do not wait. Get help NOW.
  2. Once you have dealt with your mental health as in (1) above, you will have a clear head to think about God and if you are still having doubts, you can address them then. It may be that these doubts are just a side effect of a medical/ psychological condition you are having and will resolve with treatment under (1).
  3. Know that God exists and He loves you, doesn’t want you to die, and does want you to get help. Again, see (1).
God bless you, I will pray for you.
 
Please see a Psychiatrist and Priest. You should never feel suicidal.
 
Last winter ocd ( germ related) sprung up and the winter before it was Scrupulosity but just this time it feels worse to me.
 
When you’re feeling like this, your best bet is to pray and to be honest with God. Take a moment. Okay. You are having doubts, you find it hard to believe.

Say out loud, “Lord, I find it hard to believe. Assist me with your grace.”

Take some silent moments. Say, “And I don’t know if you exist. I am so sorry, but I need your help. Grant me the grace I need.” Do not panic over this, but be patient, because God is patient and merciful and kind. He is pure love itself. He is your creator, and from Him is nothing hidden. He knows the thoughts of your heart, the inner workings of your soul.

Suicide is not an option. You have people in this world who know no life without you. Do not do this to them, and don’t deny yourself days of grace and love. You’re worth all the time in the world, and no one can tell you different. They might say you’re not, but they’re of the enemy and profess only untruth. You’ve got this, anonymous_allen, you’ve got this. You’ve got all the right people on your side.

God will never, ever, ever, ever, NEVER will He ever abandon you. You might feel a great silence from His side right now, but trust me: trust Him.
 
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I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend…

I’m sure you have already heard all of the “don’t do it!” remarks and many don’t seem to care before they do it, their mind is made up. At times it’s about people that weren’t there when you needed them, payback and/or revenge to be noticed. But guess what, I’ve been to a dozen funerals and memorial services… afterwards, life goes on. 15 minutes of fame and that’s it. The one hit wonder and then you get your car repoed for not being able to pay for the grass on a mansions lawn. Life’s something you only get 1 of, and 1 only. Your mom was the happiest person on this Earth when she saw you come out of her, and won’t ever lose that feeling you gave her. But after that, when love seemed hard to find, God brought you here to see that I love you and so do people here.

We love you, and will talk to you, respond to you, but most of all acknowledge you. Don’t go, stay here with us. We want nothing more than for you to stop considering that as an option and if you wanted or needed to make your point, we see it. And because you came here instead of committing suicide, your not going to have a short 15 minutes of fame. We are here for you. While we can’t do everything, we will do what we can to keep you in this world.
 
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But how do I know God exists. The world tells me he doesn’t and apparently science does too. I feel like there is no way to know and if there is no God then nothing matters
 
Isn’t there a light in your house? The bible talks about how a tiny light can clear all the darkness. Someone figured out how to make it so you can have light in your home without the sun and without a candle. They died but left that light with you. Life is worth living everyday because of the littlest things. If I saw you maybe I would find a friend, but without you, I’m more alone in my misery. By statistics I am probably a phenomenon for being alive right now. That is how much I have going on. Imagine a sandcastle, like on the beach of that movie “Contact.” Why take it down? Even if you believe there is no God, or do believe but convinced yourself to doubt, your cells want to live.

After all, there are some people who are living in great pain but refuse to let go because they believe in a cure or a treatment will arise. Many thousands have left this world in that state. Believe we can cure all things with advanced medicine before or exactly when your time comes if nothing else.
 
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There are so many people who once considered suicide when they were depressed, and were so grateful later that they did not.

God has made his presence know to me in several ways, some unexpected. If you pray often for this to happen as a leap of faith, he will do this.

Till then, if you feel bad enough call: 1-800-273-8255 which is the national hotline.
We will all be praying for you.
 
anonymous_allen said:
But how do I know God exists. The world tells me he doesn’t and apparently science does too. I feel like there is no way to know and if there is no God then nothing matters
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Hebrews 11:16

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

1 John Chp. 4

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.

Have Faith and be Courageous!
 
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anonymous_allen said:
But how do I know God exists. The world tells me he doesn’t and apparently science does too. I feel like there is no way to know and if there is no God then nothing matters
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I just trust that Jesus loves me as much as he loves himself. He died for me and for you and for everyone else.
 
anonymous_allen said:
The world tells me he doesn’t and apparently science does too.
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Errr no it doesn’t. The historical evidence for the existance of Jesus and his crixicification is overwhelmingly. There is consensus between the religious and athiests here. If you really understood science then you’d know that proving a negative is virtually impossible anyway so science most certainly has not disproven the resurrection, nor could it.

The scientific method is perfect. Science isn’t. There are massive biases in science. It’s just a fact that over 90% of academics are left wing and left wing beliefs correlate with atheism. A lot of what you think is science is just people trying to prove their biases. Like when Lawrence Krauss needs to redefine the word “nothing” in order to try and get God out of physics. How many people don’t know what nothing is?
 
You need to get to a doctor. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain and when your brain is not working as intended all kinds of weird thoughts are going to go through it. I strongly recommend a psychiatrist, and not just a general practitioner since you said you have different symptoms every year. Since I can’t give medical advice I don’t really feel like I can get in to anymore detail about it here.

I remember asking my priest about it in confession years ago when I was going through pretty much the same thing you are. His response was “Well you’re here. Keep going through the motions for as long as you have to, the important part is that you keep doing it and your faith will grow.” He was right. I still get doubts from time to time but I ignore them and keep pushing forward.

Keep going through the motions while you work on your mental health. I guarantee that once you start to get that under control your doubts will start to disappear too.
 
Laura_N said:
You need to get to a doctor. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain and when your brain is not working as intended all kinds of weird thoughts are going to go through it.
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Actually this is partially true. Depression might be caused by this, it probably is if most other aspects of life are going well and yet you can’t shake the blues off. However, if ones life is in a mess then no amount of popping pills is going to fix that until the underlying causes change. Some people have a lot to be depressed about and there’s nothing wrong with their brain.
 
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