Summer attire at Mass

[anp1215]

Same way at my parish. Girls wear tube tops, spaghetti strap tops, shorts that literally end right underneath the butt cheek, etc. That kind of stuff does bother me, especially the booty shorts. T-shirts, jeans, khaki shorts, flip-flops, I don’t think those look very nice at church but it doesn’t bother me because they are at least covered. But shorts that look like underwear? Really? Who in their right mind thinks that’s acceptable to wear to church, or anywhere? Why would a parent allow their daughter to dress like that?

I just turn away. I don’t dwell on it because there’s no point.

 

[johnnyjones]

According to some of the threads I’ve been on it shouldn’t matter what you wear. This all falls into the modesty is subjective notion. Most summer attire is revealing. Short tight shorts on women, muscle shirts on men, flip flops are all inappropriate at mass. But, if you had all your skin hanging out the local pool, and that supposedly has no effect on anyone, why not bare all at mass.

Nothing means anything anymore. Some people want to argue that you can’t tell what is provocative or, as long as your going to mass, what difference is it what state of dress you put on. It’s a circular debate that prompts me to ask, why don’t you just wear a bikini or swimming trunks to the Vatican? Oh, that’s right, you can’t. Do you know why? They don’t allow it!

Must be something to this whole attire issue if the Vatican has such rules.

 

[severus68]

What would any of us do if the President of the company we worked for called us on the phone and said he/she is coming to our house for dinner? Would we clean our home? Would we make a special meal? Would we make sure we wore respectful clothes? Or would we not care about doing any of those things?

The President of the company would have little interest in our souls and more on superficial externals.

 

[mlz]

It was hard not to notice people coming to Mass looking like they were ready to work in their gardens, go to a picnic and/or spend time by a pool or a beach compared to Mass the past few weekends as the summer weather seems to have arrived in my state. I had to do my best not to think uncharitable thoughts of those wearing things like strapless dresses, short shorts, dresses/skirts that don’t even reach the top of the knees, spaghetti straps, tank tops and tee shirts with questionable items on them. I am not asking for people to cover up completely and show no skin but at the same time, I think good old fashioned decency has gone away. Makes me wish I was able to go to Extraordinary Form Masses more after people tend to dress better for those Masses. What do you think should be acceptable apparel for summer time Masses? In my opinion, the following is okay: *Short sleeved shirts that are decent, not tight, revealing, and with nothing questionable on them - both genders *Sleeveless shirts that are not tank styles, spaghetti strapped or strapless (more for females as I’ve never seen a dressy style sleeveless male shirt that’s good for Mass) *Capri pants for women and girls - not tight fitting *Khaki shorts that reach knees - both genders (more geared to males) *Dresses / Skirts that reach at least reach the top of the knees, preferably longer. *Dresses not tight, revealing, spaghetti strapped or strapless. *Shoes or sandals that are decently clean - both genders, preferably not the casual looking flip flops but something more dressy I know many people may have been on vacation and were visiting but I don’t think it takes much effort to bring a decent yet weather appropriate outfit for Mass with their other summer items. Even when I went to Mass when visiting my grandmother and walked a few blocks to Mass with my mother, we at least wore a nice short sleeve shirt and capris (or a nice summer dress) as kids.

As a new convert I’m quite amazed how Catholics dress when coming to recieve the Lord in Holy Communion! IF for instance someone knew they would be meeting the President of the United States how would one dress? Or anyone of great importance…celebrity, prom, so many examples…No, it isn’t because this is all people have to wear or can’t afford better, it’s a lack of respect. It isn’t even that God won’t accept us as we are… This is something as a teacher of many years I’ve seen come into our culture big time…a lack of reverence and respect. If we really thought about this we would dress better, honestly. We just presume and think, God understands, at least I’m going to Mass…! Now, if you were in a hurry, couldn’t change and wanted to get there and did that’s different, but be honest and faithful to the Lord. God knows your situation and heart so I’ll leave it at that but I do think this is something we need to improve at .

Love in Christ,
mlz

 

[severus68]

The majority don’t believe Christ is truly present in the Most Blessed Sacrament. If God isn’t there, why bother.

Who are this majority? So its just you and me who believe?

 

[severus68]

I had one Catholic tell me that God would have absolutely no problem with that. It’s the people around who would have the problem.

That is true. God made us, bodies and all. Not suggesting anyone walk outside their homes naked.

 

[MariaG]

I also have to say it depends on what part of the country you live in. My husband is a firefighter. He bought a suit for job interviews. He currently does not even own a suit. I think even Jeff Foxworthy commented on how you know you are in the Pacific Northwest when you wear a suit and tie to a nice restaurant and feel over dressed.

 

[TrueLight]

As warm as it was at our TLM today, I was pleasantly surprised to see that 95% of the women were dressed modestly with either a 3/4 to long sleeve shirt or a sweater. I happened to be wearing a sweater because my dress has a back that is on the low side and the sleeves are pretty short.

The guys were dressed modestly too.

There was one woman who came in late, who was dressed less modestly, but she was obviously a visitor.

So yeah. Summer doesn’t mean one should start wearing shorts and minis.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

It’s all about modesty, people! I don’t buy into this “it’s too hot” nonsense. If my priest can offer Mass in as many layers as he does, including a cassock, pants, and a long sleeve shirt, surely to goodness the congregation can cover themselves up and wear what is appropriate for where they are. I’ve had to spend my Summers in an church with no a/c in a full skirt suit. We can suck up it for an hour or so. Perhaps use the discomfort to remind us how much worse Hell is and how we don’t want to end up there.

or maybe sweat rolling down our backs and big pit stains distract us from the Holy Mass…especially before our church got an air conditioner…just saying…

And then of course I’m sure someone would comment on how my sweating was distracting them…

I’m modest in my own view…no spagetti straps…no short shorts…nothing like that…but not always like I’m greeting royalty…its the best I own.

But I’m sure someone is always ready to complain that I could afford to go out and buy “Sunday best”…

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Dear MissRose73,

I’m so glad to find someone who has a sense of propriety without being judgemental. While we should always welcome everyone, and most especially the poor, the working people, anyone wandering in, no matter what they are wearing or not wearing, most of us have *some *choices as to what we wear to Mass.

I’ve attended Mass with dear, hard working Migrant farmers and their children, and they dressed so respectfully in the best they had. Sometimes that may be a rough looking pair of jeans on Papa, a faded dress for his wife and not- so- new clothing for his precious children. :heaven:

At large Cathedrals in Manhattan, one might see a bejeweled lady in a fur coat next to a homeless person. I hope the lady with the jewels will take the dear soul next to her to lunch, befriend her and buy her a coat. :harp:

But there’s sometimes a hint of reverse discrimination against people who just want to present themselves in something classic and nice out of respect for God and His House. One fellow I know actually believes that people wearing suits or choosing to dress nicely are just showing off. He feels that jeans are the choice of holy people who are truly humble. He really has an:nunchuk: attitude. He wants everyone in denim, that’s his judgement.

For the majority of us, it’s not a matter of money.* Fifteen *years ago I bought six floral “church” dresses at Sears for $25 - $30 each over a period of a few months, according to my little budget. That’s fifteen years ago and it’s all I have, but they are pretty and like new, as I hand wash them carefully and dry them on the line. Each year beginning at Easter time, I rotate those good old trusted florals for the next many weeks of Sundays, with either a white or pink purse. I might look like the Queen Mother compared to people in shorts and flip flops, but people always come up and say how refreshing it is to see a mature woman in an actual dress instead of floppy pants with a shirt that doesn’t cover the backside.

(Ladies, get a full length mirror, turn around and hold up a compact mirror and see what I mean. Mature women in slacks are well advised to wear a jacket that covers the derriere.)

For fall and winter, I made my own home- made jumper dresses out of soft suede in several seasonal colors and wear a nice conservative jacket or cardigan over that. These are also fifteen years old. I keep the old Singer sewing machine working now making things for other people. We don’t even have a clothes dryer and in winter everything goes on the outside line for the “freeze dry” method! I hand wash these too so they still look brand new and keep a lint brush handy!

So before anyone jumps on anyone from the Old School, remember that intention and motivation are everything. It’s ideal to look at a person’s eyes rather than the clothes on their backs, most certainly. *But those of us with choices sometimes unknowingly cause distraction with skimpy or immodest clothing. It’s just nice to think of other’s sensibilities. Modesty and humility can often be reflected in what we choose *to wear. If we have no choices, fine. Yet, “to those who much is given, much is required.”

Helping others:
Most cities have public shelters in great need of clean, gently used or new clothing for their guests. Your local diocese may have a list of Catholic Run shelters or transitional homes. Don’t forget nice new pajamas for the little ones either. It’s often the one thing that children don’t have so a new pair of PJs and a stuffed animal can cheer these precious children and their mothers who are often running from abusive relationships. Whole families, newly jobless and living in shelters can certainly use decent clothing and personal care items: toothpaste/toothbrushes/soap, combs. We’re all family, so if we see someone hurting or in need, someone in tattered clothing who has no choice, we should help, not judge.

Thank you, MissRose73, for reminding us of ways we can be respectful to God’s House and to His precious people, especially:angel1: those in need. We shouldn’t judge others, but we can take a look at our own motivations and look around to see if we can help someone:grouphug: else. :heaven:

Kathryn Ann

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Dear MissRose73,

Thank you, MissRose73, for reminding us of ways we can be respectful to God’s House and to His precious people, especially:angel1: those in need. We shouldn’t judge others, but we can take a look at our own motivations and look around to see if we can help someone:grouphug: else. :heaven:

Kathryn Ann

Actually I do find your post to be somewhat judgemental…not all women look good in dresses…nor can everyone sew…made you could benefit from your mirror suggestion.

While I appreciate that you do what you feel called to do…and probably look lovely…not everyone feels that way.

I usually wear corded slacks…same thing I wear to work. I know every Sunday early Mass I go to…the older generation will be talking about me as I walk in. Just because I don’t wear their fashion…doesn’t mean that they need to “help” me…

Just a thought…not everyone comes from your era…or should dress like you want to.

I for one as a women…hardly ever wear dresses! In fact I don’t owe one…nor do I want to. I think God knows my heart plenty and isn’t sitting there judging me at Mass…now if I could just get so and so in the next pew to stop…that would be great!

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

As warm as it was at our TLM today, I was pleasantly surprised to see that 95% of the women were dressed modestly with either a 3/4 to long sleeve shirt or a sweater. I happened to be wearing a sweater because my dress has a back that is on the low side and the sleeves are pretty short.

The guys were dressed modestly too.

There was one woman who came in late, who was dressed less modestly, but she was obviously a visitor.

So yeah. Summer doesn’t mean one should start wearing shorts and minis.

Are those the only choices? 3/4 sleve to a long sleeve shirt or a sweater? or shorts and minis?

There are plenty of people that are inbetween…I don’t really consider a blouse with short sleeves and slacks to be immodest:shrug: Or my husband in dark jeans/dress shoes/and a button up shirt to be sloppy…

 

[Laetus]

All I know is people 80 years ago during the Depression couldn’t afford to feed themselves at times, but they still were able to wear dresses and suits to church. I hear all this (oh but they can’t afford it) baloney…I could understand if we were talking about Africa or America 80 years ago when stock brokers were digging through garbage cans looking for peach pits, but not now.

Truth is many people just have no respect or sense of modesty and are just plain lazy. Sure they can’t afford to dress modestly but they can afford an iPhone. People’s priorities are messed up.

So call me a clothing crusader, or this blah blah…I ain’t a clothing crusader as much as I’m a cultural conservative. I think people just have little respect in society period, not to mention modesty…it goes farther than just dress in church.

But either way I’ve said my 2 bits.

That’s also how people dressed back then. Go to a game at Yankee Stadium and men wore suits, hats and if it was cold, overcoats. They don’t anymore, often not even in business. That not necessarily better than khakis, a polo shirt and a nice jacket, only different.

I don’t like being pressured to wear a suit/sports coat which I feel at one parish I attend. I do feel some garments should be* verboten *at Mass though.

 

[Laetus]

Same way at my parish. Girls wear tube tops, spaghetti strap tops, shorts that literally end right underneath the butt cheek, etc. That kind of stuff does bother me, especially the booty shorts. T-shirts, jeans, khaki shorts, flip-flops, I don’t think those look very nice at church but it doesn’t bother me because they are at least covered. **But shorts that look like underwear? Really? Who in their right mind thinks that’s acceptable to wear to church, or anywhere? Why would a parent allow their daughter to dress like that?

I just turn away. I don’t dwell on it because there’s no point.**

I agree. What IS the use? If parent’s don’t care it’s left up to pastors and most I know would NEVER have the resolve to put in a dress code.

 

[Laetus]

Ever been to a funeral Mass lately? Almost every woman I see under 50 wearing black is wearing some sort of bare backed cocktail dress. One wonders if their parents ever taught them how to dress?

 

[The_Curt_Jester]

Ever been to a funeral Mass lately? Almost every woman I see under 50 wearing black is wearing some sort of bare backed cocktail dress. One wonders if their parents ever taught them how to dress?

Must be the area or something. For awhile I was at a funeral nearly once a week (organist) and I’ve yet to see a backless dress at one of them (and I’m not complaining!). Funerals are the few times that it seems most (not all) are dressed properly.

 

[bmadamsberry]

I think the entire idea of what to wear at Mass is complex and, at times, paradoxical and contradictory.

1. On the one hand, we should and shouldn’t care what other people are wearing to Mass. The interior of the heart is important, but so is how one acts on that belief (that’s why we’re faith and works, instead of just faith). Furthermore, I would much rather someone come to Mass dressed immodestly than not at all (unless they’re just there to cause problems). Maybe it’s a matter of “I should care what I wear to Mass, but not what others wear” kind of thing. On the flip side of that, though, is the fact that I do believe that the Eucharist is my L-rd, and should be approached with the respect that the Church allows for.
2. The idea of modesty does change. If I dressed in khakis, a button-up shirt, and a tie, I would be under-dressed for Mass in the late 19th/early 20th century. Eventually, our idea of modesty changes. At the same time, that doesn’t mean that we can simply change our ideas of modesty to fit with the times. So, at what point do we (rightfully) draw the line, and at what point do we (rightfully) change our idea?

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Actually I do find your post to be somewhat judgemental…not all women look good in dresses…nor can everyone sew…made you could benefit from your mirror suggestion.

While I appreciate that you do what you feel called to do…and probably look lovely…not everyone feels that way.

I usually wear corded slacks…same thing I wear to work. I know every Sunday early Mass I go to…the older generation will be talking about me as I walk in. Just because I don’t wear their fashion…doesn’t mean that they need to “help” me…

Just a thought…not everyone comes from your era…or should dress like you want to.

I for one as a women…hardly ever wear dresses! In fact I don’t owe one…nor do I want to. I think God knows my heart plenty and isn’t sitting there judging me at Mass…now if I could just get so and so in the next pew to stop…that would be great!

So, you’ve now judged me to be judge-mental? I was speaking in general, not to anyone in particular, so there is nothing personal in my comments whatsoever. It sounds as if you are experiencing second thoughts and worry what others think, while you may look perfectly lovely yourself. I stand my ground on every woman owning a full length mirror and a compact though, that’s just standard equipment in the South!

My whole point is that those of us who have choices should care whether or not we’re wearing something inappropriate or that might cause others harm, such as skimpy, tight, or flashy clothing that draws attention from the Mass.

The attitude of* not caring *if we’re offending others is a curious one. We should always care, and act in a caring manner. This is why churches all over Europe and the Holy Land require “proper” attire to enter Holy places of worship. Travelers who can afford the expensive trip should not be shocked to be turned away if wearing mini shorts and halter tops upon entering places with especially deep meaning to the locals.

My whole point is kindness, and caring, and also reaching out to the poor who have few choices at all. I’m confident that all here would agree with that.
Peace,
Kathryn Ann

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

As a new convert I’m quite amazed how Catholics dress when coming to recieve the Lord in Holy Communion! IF for instance someone knew they would be meeting the President of the United States how would one dress? Or anyone of great importance…celebrity, prom, so many examples…No, it isn’t because this is all people have to wear or can’t afford better, it’s a lack of respect. It isn’t even that God won’t accept us as we are… This is something as a teacher of many years I’ve seen come into our culture big time…a lack of reverence and respect. If we really thought about this we would dress better, honestly. We just presume and think, God understands, at least I’m going to Mass…! Now, if you were in a hurry, couldn’t change and wanted to get there and did that’s different, but be honest and faithful to the Lord. God knows your situation and heart so I’ll leave it at that but I do think this is something we need to improve at .

Love in Christ,
mlz

Amen, mlz, couldn’t agree more!
Kathryn Ann:heaven:

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

There would be a thread here at CAF about a long-haired bearded guy wearing sandals who was really distracting and made it tough for pewmates to pray. His robe would be too loose, too.

Bless you, but He would be dressed perfectly appropriately- just like everyone else there for that time and place. Not wishing to draw attention to Himself is a lesson in humility for us all.