Sunday blues at Low Mass

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denitaA

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Hi,
I posted last week about leaving Mass during the sermon,etc. Anyway,
I made it to Mass yesterday, but nothing went as planned. In fact my whole Sunday seemed ruined. First, I couldn’t go to my usual parish-Mater Dei- because the person who gives me a ride was sick. I 'm not blaming them, in fact I told them I’d just go to the other church where they have Latin Mass in the evening. The same priests from Mater Dei offer Mass there, so no problem.
Then things went wrong all day. I couldn’t do my artwork. I ruined 3 paintings. I kept dropping stuff, including a hot dog.
Then Mass. It was low Mass. I went early to go to Confession for my missing Mass last week. But Father treated me coldly during Confession. No advice. I had kept it short. Just 2 sins. But he was cold. It wasn’t like him. He even absolved me in English, and he usually does so in Latin.
For the rest of Mass, I couldn’t focus. I tried to say my penance, but kept getting the prayers wrong. My heart wasn’t in it. the priest saying Low Mass was a visiting priest, and he spoke so softly I could barely hear him over the air units. and then there was the child (not baby) who kept yelling all through Mass. I even tried to look straight at the Tabernacle, but it didn’t help. I left after the Low Mass prayers, and didn’t even stay for Benediction like I usually do. I left crying. I’m still crying now. My whole Sunday down the tube. What can I do? Pray for me.:sad_yes::bighanky::imsorry:
 
denitaA said:
Hi,
I posted last week about leaving Mass during the sermon,etc. Anyway,
I made it to Mass yesterday, but nothing went as planned. In fact my whole Sunday seemed ruined. First, I couldn’t go to my usual parish-Mater Dei- because the person who gives me a ride was sick. I 'm not blaming them, in fact I told them I’d just go to the other church where they have Latin Mass in the evening. The same priests from Mater Dei offer Mass there, so no problem.
Then things went wrong all day. I couldn’t do my artwork. I ruined 3 paintings. I kept dropping stuff, including a hot dog.
Then Mass. It was low Mass. I went early to go to Confession for my missing Mass last week. But Father treated me coldly during Confession. No advice. I had kept it short. Just 2 sins. But he was cold. It wasn’t like him. He even absolved me in English, and he usually does so in Latin.
For the rest of Mass, I couldn’t focus. I tried to say my penance, but kept getting the prayers wrong. My heart wasn’t in it. the priest saying Low Mass was a visiting priest, and he spoke so softly I could barely hear him over the air units. and then there was the child (not baby) who kept yelling all through Mass. I even tried to look straight at the Tabernacle, but it didn’t help. I left after the Low Mass prayers, and didn’t even stay for Benediction like I usually do. I left crying. I’m still crying now. My whole Sunday down the tube. What can I do? Pray for me.:sad_yes::bighanky::imsorry:
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It sounds like you were having a bad day overall. And sometimes that happens. Sometimes we wake up feeling sad or in a bad mood and that colors our interactions and experiences for the day.

This is a good opportunity to unite ourselves with our Lord’s suffering and take this as an opportunity of growth.

Take this opportunity to spend some time in prayer and spiritual reading.
 
Today is a brand new day. A great time to start over and not dwell on the past. 👍
 
denitaA said:
I went early to go to Confession for my missing Mass last week. But Father treated me coldly during Confession. No advice. I had kept it short. Just 2 sins. But he was cold. It wasn’t like him. He even absolved me in English, and he usually does so in Latin.
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That’s like saying, “Gee, thank you for the wonderful gift, but I wanted it with a red ribbon instead of a blue one, and now my day is ruined, and I have no peace.”
 
Someone has already said it but my priest tells me “tomorrow is another day” and guess what - it is 😃

Have a good cry. There is nothing wrong with that. Tears really do heal.

I just get low sometimes and for me the only thing I feel that went right for me yesterday is that when the priest put two sets of candles in my hands and asked me which one was better, somehow I guessed the right one. Everything after that went down hill. Starting lighting the charcoal and more went on me:( enough for me to stand back and let the priest take over. He knows where am at as such. At one bit of the service, I heard the psalm and therefore new we had the psalm but only managed to stand for the gospel because he did thinking we still had the psalm. I wasn’t physically there where as two weeks ago I wasn’t mentally there. Fortunately for me we seem to have a very understanding priest.
I suspect that he had told the person doing the prayers to include me, not by name because he knows I don’t want that because I look perfectly fine and wouldn’t want all the questions but because of my early morning email to him I am certain he had approached the person doing the prayers. The first time I was doubly convinced because never been included in the prayers all the 25 years I been there. I have told him though if he can find away to include me into the intercessions and be anonymous I’d accept so I think he is doing that at times.
Perhaps it really is a couple of weeks blip for you. Is it just the sunday blues or is something happening in your life that is catching you up may be on sundays.
Perhaps the priest felt that for missing mass the week before, you’d be okay with an English Absolution. Are you sure it was the priest that was cold and not just your own state of wellbeing perceiving him to be cold. I’ve a not different relationship because that be misconstrued by lots but it is possibly a different relationship with my priest and over the weekend I had managed to work myself into a state of being positively scared of him. through something now that I got the full information I can relax but at first I had misunderstood. I could have let this influenced me in me attending the service or not. But didn’t and the fear hadn’t totally left me until he had handed me the candles and all of that vanished. He will know about that now. But when we are not feeling great in ourselves then we can perceive it to be them when it is in fact us. He may have been no different but you were perhaps expecting more than merited? Perhaps the priest did have a lot on his mind and feels awkward because he can’t refuse a confessional but perhaps he felt you could have may be appreciated his time better especially if he had just come from the hospital or anything or just feeling very overworked at the moment and the only sin you came up with is because you missed mass. Just may be he was feeling rather frustrated about the minorness of it, although major to you and he can’t turn you away because that could stop you trusting another time when it is needed, just a pause that if he has had a bad night, not slept very well, been on an emergency then gets someone wanting their sin forgiven and all he wants is a few more hours in bed and a decent sleep. He absolved you, that is the main thing for Catholics. Not how he absolves you but that he does. He could also be sickening for something and fighting it. Am as guilty but all we think about is how hurt we are.

Have a good cry. That is fine. Have a chat to that priest if you are concerned. Not as a complaint but as a real chat about where you are at etc. Some priests are very good listeners. And if you get the opportunity spend a little time in Church just being with God because we al think its about the Mass. Mass is only a small part of being and God is with us always.

Be kind to yourself at the moment and ask God to lean on him. Find God in the rest of your life too for he is always here.🙂
 
I’m so sorry you had a bad day. Sometimes I have a bad day, where nothing terribly bad happens, but it’s just a string of little things, and it can really get you down. The next day always feels better.

I’m not making fun of you, but when you said you kept dropping things, even a hot dog, I immediately thought of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry’s girlfriend keeps crying over everything, even when she drops a hot dog, and he reluctantly comforts her. I tried to find a clip of it on Youtube, but no luck. Maybe it would have made you laugh and feel better.
 
Three thoughts for your consideration:
  1. Bad Day:
God is the God of the Present…not the Past or the Future…nice words but it is so true…that to forget it is an incredible and monumental mistake…can make a day a disaster…and throw away our great gift of peace…instead of guarding it in His Presence. For me…this has to be a constant in morning prayer offering and a point of examination of conscience at night.
  1. Confession:
My experience in confession before Mass is similar…most priests want the “basics”…and give no real guidance…primarily (I asked a former Marine friend…now a priest-Chaplin) because he (the priest-confessor) wants to ensure as best as he can to get everyone out in time for Mass…and on some occasions the Confessor has to say that Mass.

Maybe the following (from the same priest-Chaplain) will also be of help to you…it really helped me.

He also told me to always remember to…beg Holy Spirit for graces to confess in Spirit and Truth… perform my examination of conscience time ( @ 5 minutes) with a “feather duster” rather than a “steel garden rake” …don’t do violence to your conscience…and put most of prep-time and effort looking at Crucifix and Christ Jesus… meditating on His incredible love and mercy for me in His Passion, Suffering and Death (15 min if feasible).

He strongly reminded me that all the “guidance and discussion/questions” back and forth…are not necessary and sometimes actually hurt the pentitent becasue they feel more satisfaction out of their personal style/spirituality and the priest’s pastoral style/advice…than in being overjoyed at what Christ just didi in forgiving me and wiping away my sins (a greater miracle and exhibition of power and might than creating the entire Universe)…and what it cost him…in otherwords…keep my eye on the prize…Christ, the Person, Our Lord Jesus.

He said (an Irish Priest told him)…for a really good confession the penitent mus have three things: (1) exactness (e.g., say I am a hypocrite…not,… I have problems being forgiving to others or I am a liar…not,…I did not tell the truth to someone out of fear or to make myself look better, or I am unchaste…impure in heart and mind…not,…I struggle with temptations of the flesh and sometimes etc. etc.).** (2) Tranquility**…be at peace saying I am a sinner but I am the sinner…accepting the truth of who I really am…not anxious or down or depressed or exasperated… because I pridefully think that I really am not the sinner…I just messed up but other than that I am a saint 24/7…and should canonized shortly after death…maybe even before. 3. Energy… the penitent must have a resolute resolve in a firm purpose of amendment…through a deep and absolute… faith and trust in God’s graces…that I will get them and I can change…submitting to the Divine Physician…for that change/conversion.
  1. The Mass
Lastly, this same priest-Chaplain told me to go to Mass without any expectations…zip…zero…** but anticipate only what the Mass really is**…that by assisting/praying a valid/licit Mass with the priest-in persona Christi…I can anticipate hearing the Word of God spoken by Him to me directly (through Lector/Deacon/Priest)…I can anticipate meeting the Suffering Servant…Christ Himself on Calvary …and I can anticipate seeing and receiving the Risen Lord Jesus…Body, Blood Soul and Divinity… coming out of the Empty Tomb…into my very self…and in this Mass to be united in communion with the Trinity and all the saints and angels…heaven and earth…and be in communion with the entire Body of Christ…worldwide…purgatory… heaven.

For your consideration.
Pax Christi
 
I’m sorry to hear you had such a rough day. I’ll pray that today is a better one and that your next Mass is a more prayerful time for you.
 
Stylites said:
That’s like saying, “Gee, thank you for the wonderful gift, but I wanted it with a red ribbon instead of a blue one, and now my day is ruined, and I have no peace.”
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I agree. It’s kind of “cold” to say it, but that’s the impression I got. It’s fine to have an off day; everyone has them. But don’t lose sight of the beautiful gift that is the Mass and Reconciliation. Be grateful that you can experience them at all.
 
It is a few days later and I hope you are feeling better. It is important for us to remember though that our religion and faith should not depend on our feelings. Absolution in confession, the blessing and graces of Mass, the miracle of the Eucharist all happen whether we are feeling 'holy" or not. Our love of God, like our love of spouse or family, is an act of will. We love not because we feel loving, but because we choose to.
 
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