Sunday mass and birthday celebration

[Padraig1972]

I have a question and it has two aspects. The one is about the obligation of attending sunday mass and the other aspect is to recieve or not recieve food gifts when your poor relatives wants to celebrate your birthday.

I was supposed to attend high mass, but somehow i didn t hear the clock ring (yes, the alarm was on) and that itself has ruined the day for me.

The plan was to attend evening mass instead, but i realized at a early stage that both me and my cousin which is also catholic could not make it because dinner took too long time to make.

Normally, i would had said no as i know how important too do your sunday obligation and it still is, but turning down your family that is poor and have limited funds, when you know they have made a effort to make food and dessert for you, is that not a bad thing as well?

Anyway, i am home now and have had a nice time with my family (aunt and cousin), but i still feel bad and honestly like a sinner because i did not attend the sunday mass.

How grave is this? Have i commited a horribly, grave sin? Is it right of me to go straight to confession before eve mass tomorrow? Or do i go too far here now?

I need some good guidances, as i feel not very good at all at the moment.

 

[ConstantineTG]

I would say its grave enough. You’ve had the chance to drop what you do and go to Mass, but you didn’t. Its not like Mass is so far away, its not like you even actually tried. God expects us to go the extra mile. He doesn’t expect the impossible, but He does want us to go the extra mile that is still within our limits. This situation I think is not impossible for you to go to Mass.

Here’s a question, who do you rather want to disappoint, God or your poor relatives?

 

[Padraig1972]

You make it sound like i didn t hear the clock on purpouse which is not what happened, i wondered why it didn t rang and when i got up, mass was done. I did point that this had and has ruined my day.

I wished not to dissapoint any of them. Least of all God. If i could, i would want to go to confession and do penance right now (however, its evening here and the churches has closed).

But you are right, i made a horrible decision. That is why i wanted to get an opinion on.

 

[jpjd]

You missed Mass and you need to confess that, however, to miss Mass for the reason you did is, in my opinion, a rather charitiable reason for missing Mass and may lessen your culpabililty. Do confess, but in the meantime, don’t be so hard on yourself.

 

[Padraig1972]

Thank you for your kind words jpjd. I have mailed my confession father and asked if i can confess before mass tomorrow or if he needs to have a serious conversation and then confession with me.

I just confessed recently and have to admit that he will get tired and angry with me because it will be like 10 days since last time i confessed to him.

Also wondering to go another parish and confess, but that will be like running away from your regular confession father right? Well, i will pray the rosary now and say the act of contrition when done with the prayer.

Just want to serve God well, but im a looong way from doing it well. Maybe i am too hard on myself. Maybe not.

 

[InspiritCarol]

Thank you for your kind words jpjd. I have mailed my confession father and asked if i can confess before mass tomorrow or if he needs to have a serious conversation and then confession with me.

I just confessed recently and have to admit that he will get tired and angry with me because it will be like 10 days since last time i confessed to him.

Also wondering to go another parish and confess, but that will be like running away from your regular confession father right? Well, i will pray the rosary now and say the act of contrition when done with the prayer.

Just want to serve God well, but im a looong way from doing it well. Maybe i am too hard on myself. Maybe not.

Aww it sounds like you’re hurting over this.

Thank God we have confession. Yes?

 

[Padraig1972]

Aww it sounds like you’re hurting over this.

Thank God we have confession. Yes?

Well, my start - in my new life as a catholic convert has been rough yes. I try to do well from day to day and make the right choises. I missed high mass which i always loved to attend and then plans in the afternoon changed completely.

I had knew this in forehand, i would have insisted to go to mass first and just grab a piece of dessert later. So yes, this is hurting. Thank God for confession and if the Lord can see through my heart, i hope he sees how rotten i feel from top to toe.

 

[PiousTemplar]

I have a question and it has two aspects. The one is about the obligation of attending sunday mass and the other aspect is to recieve or not recieve food gifts when your poor relatives wants to celebrate your birthday.

I was supposed to attend high mass, but somehow i didn t hear the clock ring (yes, the alarm was on) and that itself has ruined the day for me.

The plan was to attend evening mass instead, but i realized at a early stage that both me and my cousin which is also catholic could not make it because dinner took too long time to make.

Normally, i would had said no as i know how important too do your sunday obligation and it still is, but turning down your family that is poor and have limited funds, when you know they have made a effort to make food and dessert for you, is that not a bad thing as well?

Anyway, i am home now and have had a nice time with my family (aunt and cousin), but i still feel bad and honestly like a sinner because i did not attend the sunday mass.

How grave is this? Have i commited a horribly, grave sin? Is it right of me to go straight to confession before eve mass tomorrow? Or do i go too far here now?

I need some good guidances, as i feel not very good at all at the moment.

I fail to see how you have commited grave sin. It’s your birthday.
You attempted to go to the Mass, which you accidently missed. You couldn’t go to the evening one because you were celebrating with your family.

I think that in itself lessens the culpability, but I could be wrong.

 

[PiousTemplar]

I think it would be grave if you woke up, and didn’t even attempt to go to the Mass. I think God understands. It’s not like you purposly missed or didn’t want to go to the High Mass.

I wish I had a High Mass within my area.

 

[Padraig1972]

Missing that mass, in the future i must avoid these situations. No matter what. What will it be of me if it gets to be a habitual line of habitual lines.

I just end up on the so sure way to hell…which i do NOT wish to happen. Something very drastic has to be done, at this early stage.

 

[ConstantineTG]

You make it sound like i didn t hear the clock on purpouse which is not what happened, i wondered why it didn t rang and when i got up, mass was done. I did point that this had and has ruined my day.

I wished not to dissapoint any of them. Least of all God. If i could, i would want to go to confession and do penance right now (however, its evening here and the churches has closed).

But you are right, i made a horrible decision. That is why i wanted to get an opinion on.

I wasn’t talking about the morning Mass. I was talking about the evening Mass. I’m sure missing the morning Mass is not your fault. But the evening Mass, you were awake and you had control of the situation. Sorry if I sound strict on the matter, but fact is when we have control of any situation, we are culpable of our choices. When you were sleeping you had no control of your situation, therefore it is not your fault. But come evening Mass, you can very well ask to leave early and explain to them the importance of going to Mass, especially on your birthday. You had control of the situation and had a choice to do something or not. You chose not to do anything in fear of offending your relatives. The key word here is “chose”. You had a choice and you did not choose God.

That was my point.

 

[ProVobis]

I was supposed to attend high mass, but somehow i didn t hear the clock ring (yes, the alarm was on) and that itself has ruined the day for me.

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Missing a high mass would ruin anyone’s day, for sure.

The only thing I would ask is did you give full consent of not going to Mass, one of the requirements of committing a mortal sin.

Regardless, do talk to your priest about it.

 

[Padraig1972]

I wasn’t talking about the morning Mass. I was talking about the evening Mass. I’m sure missing the morning Mass is not your fault. But the evening Mass, you were awake and you had control of the situation. Sorry if I sound strict on the matter, but fact is when we have control of any situation, we are culpable of our choices. When you were sleeping you had no control of your situation, therefore it is not your fault. But come evening Mass, you can very well ask to leave early and explain to them the importance of going to Mass, especially on your birthday. You had control of the situation and had a choice to do something or not. You chose not to do anything in fear of offending your relatives. The key word here is “chose”. You had a choice and you did not choose God.

That was my point.

I see your point. You are right.

 

[Padraig1972]

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Missing a high mass would ruin anyone’s day, for sure.

The only thing I would ask is did you give full consent of not going to Mass, one of the requirements of committing a mortal sin.

Regardless, do talk to your priest about it.

Yes, i dislike it as it was my first time. My aunt knows as her son is catholic too and we both were meant to go.

The thing is, she gave me impression that i should help her with some baking before dinner, but did not mentioned the dinner was not even made. Had i knew this in forehand, i would have insisted to come by later. But it was my fault as i didn t make sure to check this out.

The dinner and dessert was a nice gesture and good, but i did not felt comfortable and felt i was in the wrong place at the wrong time, as i wished to be in church and at mass.

Of charity i did, as i know they struggle in the dailylife with bad economy and such. But i chose materialism before the Lord. That is what bothers me.

Oh, i will talk to him alright and hope i never have to go through this again, as i will upset someone a next time. God has given me so much and deserves truckloads better from me than this.

I know that, perfectly well.

 

[Maureen1125]

Yes you missed mass, but really I think you are making a moutain out of a mole hill. Do you have a catholic station where you could watch mass?

As to confession - if you want to go to confession every single day, then your Priest should be overjoyed that you are trying so hard to live a good life. If he is “annoyed” that you are confession too much then 1) he needs to go to confession himself and 2) you are well within you rights to find a new Priest.

I personally confession jump from parish to parish.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Yes you missed mass, but really I think you are making a moutain out of a mole hill. Do you have a catholic station where you could watch mass?

As to confession - if you want to go to confession every single day, then your Priest should be overjoyed that you are trying so hard to live a good life. If he is “annoyed” that you are confession too much then 1) he needs to go to confession himself and 2) you are well within you rights to find a new Priest.

I personally confession jump from parish to parish.

I’m a bit confused here, Maureen. When you ask if the OP 'has a Catholic station where you could watch Mass", while it is certainly a nice thing to do, 'I trust you are not implying that watching the Mass on TV" could be a substitute for attending Mass.

If for example my elderly mother were snowbound on Sunday (as she often is in Vermont), and could not travel to Mass, she could (and would) watch the Mass on TV, but not because it would ‘substitute’ for her regular Mass; it would only be a pious gesture. She wouldn’t have to watch even if it were on TV. And she would not be sinning by missing Mass if the weather was too severe for her to go safely.

So if the OP missed Mass, 'watching on TV" would not make up for him missing Mass (though it is certainly a nice thing to do, but then so would be saying a rosary, reading a book of prayers, etc.)

 

[ConstantineTG]

So if the OP missed Mass, 'watching on TV" would not make up for him missing Mass (though it is certainly a nice thing to do, but then so would be saying a rosary, reading a book of prayers, etc.)

Right. Canon Law is specific that the obligation can only be fulfilled by attending a Catholic Liturgy or any Rite. So even other valid Liturgies with valid Eucharists and valid priests, but are outside of the Catholic Communion (Orthodox, sedevacantists, Old Catholics, etc.) are not valid substitutes. But if the situation itself makes it impossible for one to attend Liturgy, then by law the obligation is dispensed (ie, being snowed in, other natural disasters, calamities or extreme weather events, etc.).

 

[Padraig1972]

A few quickies before im out and will try find a priest i can confess to and attend mass.

1. There are no TV-stations here that broadcasts masses. Norway is a small country and our church is a minority here.
2. A TV-mass would never substitute High Mass or the evening sunday mass. I love attending them both, as they are great in their own ways. Spending time with the Lord is always good.

The only reason i did choose this as of for the wrong choice, was for charity. A person with bad economy that do NOT understand the importancy of mass obligations in sunday did something good for me.

But it does not excuse my wrong choice. I just wanted to learn if this was grave and a soul-in-danger manouver. I know now that it is. Thanks for your responds.

 

[Joan_M]

I have a question and it has two aspects. The one is about the obligation of attending sunday mass and the other aspect is to recieve or not recieve food gifts when your poor relatives wants to celebrate your birthday.

I was supposed to attend high mass, but somehow i didn t hear the clock ring (yes, the alarm was on) and that itself has ruined the day for me.

The plan was to attend evening mass instead, but i realized at a early stage that both me and my cousin which is also catholic could not make it because dinner took too long time to make.

Normally, i would had said no as i know how important too do your sunday obligation and it still is, but turning down your family that is poor and have limited funds, when you know they have made a effort to make food and dessert for you, is that not a bad thing as well?

Anyway, i am home now and have had a nice time with my family (aunt and cousin), but i still feel bad and honestly like a sinner because i did not attend the sunday mass.

How grave is this? Have i commited a horribly, grave sin? Is it right of me to go straight to confession before eve mass tomorrow? Or do i go too far here now?

I need some good guidances, as i feel not very good at all at the moment.

Padraig, I believe that you did, indeed, commit a mortal sin. You realized “at an early stage” that if you were to eat dinner at the time expected that you would not be able to go to Mass. Well, you should have contacted the family and let them know that you needed to go to Mass and would be late for dinner.

Going to Mass is far more important than being on time for dinner. The food would not have gone bad by waiting an hour or so for you. Your family would have had the pleasure of knowing that you are a faithful Catholic by you making sure you worshiped God as required by His Church.

God must come before all else.

 

[laszlo]

Here’s a question, who do you rather want to disappoint, God or your poor relatives?

I feel uneasy with this answer.

John 5:9 And immediately the man was made whole: and he took up his bed, and walked. And it was the sabbath that day. 10 The Jews therefore said to him that was healed: It is the sabbath; it is not lawful for thee to take up thy bed.

Apparently the original poster invited the relatives so has an obligation toward them. The sin is as much as being inadvertent to the alarm clock at the morning, and that was unintentional, consequently venial. is any.