Sunday Mass while visiting non Mass going family

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You do this with your own family first.
They are adults. Would you allow other non-related adults mislead your kids on any other issue?

I was a DRE for years. I’ve seen the fruits of this. It’s not good. If you start allowing people to railroad you into believing that you are unkind for standing your ground about the faith, you will have a devil of a time keeping your kids in faith formation classes, pun intended.
Make excuses now, and be prepared to hear their excuses for the next 15-18 years.
It doesn’t have to be a battle. “we’re going to Mass”. PERIOD.
So they mock you. The Roman soldiers mocked Christ on the cross.
 
Irishrover74 said:
Report back to me in 10 years after a bit more conflict…
Fully aware of responsibility. Completely agree with your theory…the original post was asking for encouragement.
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Given that I cared for an older child, my niece,—and am following how my parents raised me, I don’t need 10 years.

Be a parent, or make your relatives happy so they can keep mocking your children. To me, it’s a no-brainer.

This isn’t about the age of your children, but how you allow them to be treated. You really think that it’s good for them to see you be derided by family members? That it’s healthy that they are cajoled out of their responsibilities?

My encouragement is to be a parent—and not allow people (even relatives) to interfere in serious matters and disagree in front of them.

Private conversation? AOK. Not in front of the kids. Period.
 
The OP has told you a few times you do not understand her battle based on your response. Why is it so difficult for you to accept the OP may know what her issues in this are? Telling others what they must do in any given situation, based solely on your own experience, and then being persistent to the point of argument helps no one.
 
If my friends or family were hostile to the practice of my faith, I would simply limit contact with them to non-holy days.
 
An old preacher friend of mine (non Catholic!) used to give this talk about visitors.

When you have houseguests over the weekend, on Saturday night inform them what time you will be going to church the next morning.

Get up an hour before them and go buy a dozen fresh donuts. Sit these donuts on your porch.

Wake them up in plenty of time to get ready to go to church with you. As you near time to leave, if they are not dressed and ready to go to church with you, ask them to step out on the porch as you leave.

Lock the front door behind them and hand them the box of donuts.

We should not let people go hungry, but, if they will not go to church with you they cannot be trusted to stay in your house while you are gone.
 
@Irishrover74 I too am an only Catholic in my family. I go to Mass when I travel regardless of what is going on. However my family is less hostile about me going to Mass. There are members who make fun of my refusal to skip Mass but others, like my father, actually support my going to Mass.

When I have my grandchildren with me, their parents know they will be coming to Mass with me on Sunday morning, it is non-negotiable, so their choice is to pick them up before 9:00 am or bring them with the proper clothing for Mass.

With your family it sounds a lot different from mine and I am sorry about that. My suggestion would be to limit visits, as best you can, to times when Mass is not an issue. Stick to your faithfulness to God and His Church. Who knows, maybe one day your seeds may bear fruit.
 
Irishrover74, if this issue is occurring now or in the future please feel free to pass on the following message to them from me (a non-Catholic):

“Hello. You don’t know me, but like you I have certain strong disagreements with religious faith including Catholicism. That being said, it is not your place to interfere with this person’s parenting – and that includes religious upbringing. It is not your place to cause a scene as to this section of the family partaking in a weekly religious ceremony, especially since this does not affect you. There is a wide gap between disagreeing with a certain religious position and hindering the practice of it, not limited to causing trouble between parent and child. Trust me I understand if you are not in line with the faith or its practices, but it’s clear that participation is very important to them. Please show a modicum of courtesy in this matter and do not make a fuss.”

If that doesn’t work then follow the advise of my Irish Catholic dad, “Tell 'em to go scratch.” 😃
 
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I would just ignore there remarks. Change the subject and say something cheerfully about something else. Treat it no differently than if you were taking the kids to the movies for the afternoon. Invite everyone to go with you, if you like. Head out and let them know when you will be back. Some families are just rude. You don’t need to answer to them.
 
You should still go. The obligation still stands unless you’re sick or invalid.
My in-laws aren’t Catholic either but we always go to mass when we visit them. It’s just our thing as far as they’re concerned. Our family goes to mass on Sunday. They accept that, even though they might privately think it’s a waste of a Sunday morning.
 
Hi
It’s the resistance of kids that has complicated your decision. Before visiting, teach kids what will happen. Invite family to go??? It won’t hurt. The situation is HOW DO YOU TEACH CHILDREN TO LOVE GOD SO DEEPLY THAT THEY WANT TO GO TO MASS??? It varies w ages of Kids…
Little kids=show good DVDS of movies about Jesus. Read books to kids. Teens!!! Your on your own. I have no advice. I guess CCD. Is very important. My kids didn’t get to go. I was a night nurse. My husband didn’t feel so inclined. I thought going to church happily, would be enough!! Nope!
God bless our children and families. Let us be a light that shines for You in this world.,
In Jesus name.
Amen
Tweedlealice
 
@Irishrover74 I always went alone with my mom. So did most kids. It’s your love with your children that first shows them the way to Jesus. Nothing can get between you, no child loves anyone or anything more than their mother. ❤️
 
“I don’t appreciate your mocking. If my attending church bothers you that much than maybe we shouldn’t visit.”
 
You persevere with your children., if they go to Mass with you, while at home. To change things would confuse them, to the point of thinking that there are ‘vacations’ from their faith.

Of course, I’m speaking about young children who live at home. Grown, self-supporting children, of course, may make up their own minds. But, still, you’d be setting a good example.

If your hosts try and influence your kids, think of another place to take your vacation.
 
As the grown up kid of parents who went occasionally…go, take your kids, please. If you are able to go, then do. It’s a matter for you to decide, as you can miss mass if it isn’t possible for a valid reason. I’m not judging my parents at all I am pleased they brought me up to be Catholic but it did make it hard for me to learn it wasn’t ok to miss mass, going more regularly might have made it easier to learn that lesson. I do realise that the lesson was mine to learn when I was an adult, but a little childhood reinforcement wouldn’t have done any harm.
Good on you for asking for encouragement. If the people you stay with make it difficult, then all the more reason to go, if you are able. God bless you
 
I’m sorry to hear about your situation, and I hope you are able to work through it. As others have said (including you), you’re responsible for shepherding your family. Sometimes, that is hard. I’d encourage you to read and reflect on Luke 9:23-27. That might give you some guidance.

God bless you.
 
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I can deeply empathize with your situation.

If they are mocking but not preventing. I think you should ignore other than to keep a few choice comments in mind. “Regardless, we are going to Mass.” , “This is not up for discussion.” , etc.

Afterwards, find time to talk to your kids about what they heard. Be nice, but point out how absurd it is to mock someone for choosing to spend 1 hour doing something that is very important to them. Note a choice to go shopping or out for breakfast would have gotten a kinder reception. It is an excellent opportunity to point out God matters, even to those who insist He doesn’t.

Good luck, I will pray for you. It is a very difficult situation.
 
Dear Allegra,
Who did bayou think 🤔 a mocking you?
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
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