Sunday Obligation, Communion, and mental illness

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GloriousOrder

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Friends,

I went to a retreat all week, and the master of the retreat said many things that opened terrible memories inside me. Without going into too much detail, my wounds are related to paranoia and extreme anxiety about social situations. The retreat was over by Friday morning, but I had gotten increasingly worse and fearful for my life. Today it’s unbearable, and I feel sick inside: ill in my heart. I don’t know if I can bear going outside right now, seeing other people: how they smile, and enjoy life, while I am absolutely devastated and isolated inside.

What does this have to do with the Sunday Obligation? I’m not sure if I am psychologically able to leave right now, feeling so alone, so watched, so hated. I would appreciate some sort of answer about the Obligation soon, because there isn’t much time before I miss the last Mass of the day today. My whole heart, my shoulders, my body feels so heavy… I’d love to go to Mass, but I feel absolutely ruined. What do I do? 😦

This also pertains to reception of Communion and Mass: my despair is so great that I feel I’ve spurned hope in God. How could I even receive Communion, had I went?
 
GloriousOrder said:
Friends,

I went to a retreat all week, and the master of the retreat said many things that opened terrible memories inside me. Without going into too much detail, my wounds are related to paranoia and extreme anxiety about social situations. The retreat was over by Friday morning, but I had gotten increasingly worse and fearful for my life. Today it’s unbearable, and I feel sick inside: ill in my heart. I don’t know if I can bear going outside right now, seeing other people: how they smile, and enjoy life, while I am absolutely devastated and isolated inside.

What does this have to do with the Sunday Obligation? I’m not sure if I am psychologically able to leave right now, feeling so alone, so watched, so hated. I would appreciate some sort of answer about the Obligation soon, because there isn’t much time before I miss the last Mass of the day today. My whole heart, my shoulders, my body feels so heavy… I’d love to go to Mass, but I feel absolutely ruined. What do I do? 😦

This also pertains to reception of Communion and Mass: my despair is so great that I feel I’ve spurned hope in God. How could I even receive Communion, had I went?
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Emotional states of anxiety and depression (based upon your symptoms) are difficult. When you are sick, you do not have an obligation to assist at the Mass, but you could pray on your own at home. You do not have to receive Holy Eucharist, if you go to Mass, and if you are fearful of social contact you can stand in a remote location. It may help you to go to the Church at the time of the Mass or at another time, because just getting out is a step to adjusting to the social anxiety. To focus on someone else can help.

I have used some cognative psychology techniques in my life, which have all helped:

No calling others names or blaming others.
Live in the present, not literally, but it means not dwelling on the past.
No fortune telling.
No mind reading.
No indulgence in self pity.

Now, all of the above are Christian in this way:

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those the trespass against us.

Matthew vi. 34. “Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Ecclesiastes 8:7 “For he knoweth not that which shall be: for who can tell him when it shall be?”

1 Corinthians 2:11 “For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.”

Phillipians 4:6 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Romans 5:3 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, …”
 
if you are too ill to go to Mass for any reason you have no obligation, and you are the best judge of when you are too ill

that being said, if the retreat is a negative experience for you, especially this degree, you need to let the retreat leader know immediately and not leave yourself in this condition without help. We will be praying for you.
Immediately, as in get off the computer and contact him now.
 
puzzleannie said:
if you are too ill to go to Mass for any reason you have no obligation, and you are the best judge of when you are too ill

that being said, if the retreat is a negative experience for you, especially this degree, you need to let the retreat leader know immediately and not leave yourself in this condition without help. We will be praying for you.
Immediately, as in get off the computer and contact him now.
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The retreat lasted from Monday to Thursday. Our leader was very kind, funny, and wise. He never said anything directly to me that caused me harm. I was referring to his general lectures (it was an open, public retreat), not to any personal encounter we had together. What he spoke about, the very subject matter, opened my wounds: not him.

This happens to me often, like I’m being raped on the inside by weird anxiety about things which I know are trivial. I appreciate the (name removed by moderator)ut… sorry to waste your time!
 
You most certainly haven’t wasted anyone’s time. It’s good that you are communicating this. I will keep you in my prayers and please try your best to trust in Jesus and not to fall into despair. :hug3:
 
GloriousOrder said:
This happens to me often, like I’m being raped on the inside by weird anxiety about things which I know are trivial. I appreciate the (name removed by moderator)ut… sorry to waste your time!
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I did not imagine it had to do with any person but rather the content of the retreat raised issues from your past which have never been resolved. Repeat, you cannot be left in this wounded state. If you are still on the retreat seek help from the director or someone in charge. If you are home make an appointment with your own pastor no later than tomorrow. You need and deserve the pastoral care from the Church.

You also need to know that what happened to you is not uncommon in a retreat setting and the retreat leaders have to be prepared for such responses, and need to know when a retreatant is moving into such an experience. that is one reason I like retreats under charismatic auspices, or with the Jesuits, because they seem to be well trained to recognized and work with such experiences.
 
puzzleannie said:
I did not imagine it had to do with any person but rather the content of the retreat raised issues from your past which have never been resolved. Repeat, you cannot be left in this wounded state. If you are still on the retreat seek help from the director or someone in charge. If you are home make an appointment with your own pastor no later than tomorrow. You need and deserve the pastoral care from the Church.

You also need to know that what happened to you is not uncommon in a retreat setting and the retreat leaders have to be prepared for such responses, and need to know when a retreatant is moving into such an experience. that is one reason I like retreats under charismatic auspices, or with the Jesuits, because they seem to be well trained to recognized and work with such experiences.
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It is over. Believe me, friend, this is something I’ve been oppressed by for many years now. It really had nothing to do with the retreat-master, except that he inadvertently showed me how broken I am, and how much the Lord wishes to use that, like He uses all our brokenness. Regardless, my dear best friend told me, near the end of the retreat, to talk to his spiritual director - who has some psychological training. This is primarily a mental problem, isn’t it, and not ‘pastoral’?

The retreat did nothing for me, except make me weep at all the profound things the priest said. It’s the sort of weeping, though, that is a symptom of knowing you can never achieve what God wants to get out of you, despite seeing it incredibly clearly. :confused: My meeting with the psychologist-priest is next Sunday… but until then I feel in great pain. I just wanted to know if God cares to forgive me for missing out on Mass even though I’m not in any biological pain or hindered physically.
 
*QUOTE]*but until then I feel in great pain. I just wanted to know if God cares to forgive me for missing out on Mass even though I’m not in any biological pain or hindered physically. (Sorry, I haven’t yet figured out how to quote only a certain portion.)

Most certainly. Illness is illness, it can be physical or psychological. Don’t doubt God’s deep love and compassion for you.
 
grasscutter said:
but until then I feel in great pain. I just wanted to know if God cares to forgive me for missing out on Mass even though I’m not in any biological pain or hindered physically. (Sorry, I haven’t yet figured out how to quote only a certain portion.)
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Most certainly. Illness is illness, it can be physical or psychological. Don’t doubt God’s deep love and compassion for you.

It’s just that you hear of famous saints who limped 15 miles through the snow to get to one Mass… carrying wounded children, etc. I want to be a saint, to dwell with God in His divine love for eternity. If I can’t even get over such silly problems like these to go to the most important event on Earth, it must be a sin. 😦

PS: To quote a specific portion, just copy the text you want to quote, and put quote ]TEXT /quote ] around it, without the spaces between brackets.
 
God knows the cross that he gave you to bear. He asks only that you trust in him. Your love, trust and faith are comprised of more than attending Sunday Mass when you feel too ill to do so. If quiet prayer in your home is all that you can manage at this time, God knows and understands everything.

Peace be with you…
 
Hello.
I was looking up something else and I found your message and I had to reply.

Jesus is with you in your suffering. When He was sweating blood in the Garden, when He was thrown down into the pit, he was suffering mental anguish. Your pain counts and it is real pain.

Jesus sees your desire to go to Mass. How many people don’t even care? Look at how much you care! That must be so pleasing to Him. What is there to forgive? Except that you accept that you cannot go to Mass and be at peace. Watch Mass on TV or online and ask for a spiritual communion. Ask Jesus to heal you.

What you are feeling and thinking is not silly. It is not a sin for you to be so wounded that you cannot go to Mass. Yours is the hidden wound, the hidden cross. No one can see the crown of thorns which surrounds your head and heart.

I want you to know that you are not alone.
 
I don’t have much advice for you that hasn’t already been said much more eloquently than I could. But I just wanted to say that I will be praying for you. :console:
 
When we are hurting intently in our weakness and woundedness, we can try to imagine ourselves as lambs falling in a crevasse on the mountainside, helpless, broken and waiting for our Good Shepherd to pick us up, love us, and heal our hurts. I have been doing this myself in recent days because of my own hurts, so aware of my weakness and my need for help. I’m sometimes a real stinky and wounded lamb, not knowing how to cure myself. Through prayer (and I can yell, moan, wimper, and grieve, and beg God in prayer) it is much easier to place myself in His care with full trust as His lamb.

We’re so blessed that He sends us co-shepherds to minister to us, in so many ways.

I’m sorry you’re going through this crisis – please continue to let your fellow disciples co-shepherd you as you endure the suffering of your wounds – and keep working on letting our Good Shepherd into your heart.

If you had a fever and the flu right now, you would rest in our Lord, in spite of not being able to attend Mass. Let go of your anxiety about not attending Mass this weekend – you are not able to attend Mass because of the damages from this emotional tidal wave hitting at you. Rest in the Lord as best you can, as you open yourself to His healing. Let Him pick you up, comfort you, guide you, and heal you. Our Divine Physician, our Friend, our Brother, our Lord God is there with you.

Look forward to receiving our Lord in the Eucharist next week.
 
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