Super-liberal relatives visiting over Easter

[Gwendolen]

I would make plans for them at pretty much any holiday other than Easter week. It’s nice they get those days off, but they are the holiest days of the year,

I’d just say that the family goes to Good Friday services, as well as Easter Mass, and seeing as they are not believers, and are uncomfortable, another weekend would be better. Thanksgiving, perhaps. Maybe they get one of those three day weekends for Veteran’s Day, or MLK Holiday. A weekend during the Christmas break. Whatever.

It is fine to schedule a family weekend around other obligations that cannot be rescheduled. Easter and Good Friday are your holy obligations that cannot be rescheduled. I’m sure if you tried to do something with them on a weekend they were busy with something that could not be rescheduled, you would understand if they asked for another time.

 

[Cat]

I would make plans for them at pretty much any holiday other than Easter week. It’s nice they get those days off, but they are the holiest days of the year,

I’d just say that the family goes to Good Friday services, as well as Easter Mass, and seeing as they are not believers, and are uncomfortable, another weekend would be better. Thanksgiving, perhaps. Maybe they get one of those three day weekends for Veteran’s Day, or MLK Holiday. A weekend during the Christmas break. Whatever.

It is fine to schedule a family weekend around other obligations that cannot be rescheduled. Easter and Good Friday are your holy obligations that cannot be rescheduled. I’m sure if you tried to do something with them on a weekend they were busy with something that could not be rescheduled, you would understand if they asked for another time.

I don’t think that Good Friday is an obligation, at least in the U.S.

So do you think it will be easier to evangelize this non-religious family on MLK Day? Or Veteran’s Day?

I’m sorry, everyone, but the more I think about it, the more I think that this family should host their super-liberal relatives over the Easter Weekend, the most sacred time of the year for Christians.

Think about it–if you had a chance to take your non-believing loved ones to heaven for just three days, would you do it? Do you think that would convince them to believe in Jesus and join the Church? I would do that in a second!

So why not bring the relatives into a picture of heaven–a happy, healthy Christian marriage and family? After all, that’s why God established Marriage as a Sacrament–to be a PICTURE to the non-believers of the relationship between Christ and His Church.

So be the Sacrament!

I think that before the super-liberal relatives arrive, the OP’s entire God-fearing family should strategize and pray together over the best way to show Jesus to these people who so desperately need Him. Yes, even the children should be in on this planning session. At the same time, the God-fearing family should covenant together that they will not lose their cool (or their faith!) no matter WHAT rude and irreverent thing their visitors do, but instead, will use that situation to demonstrate even MORE Christian love!

I would actually practice charitable responses to some of the things that the non-religious family will say.

I would make this an All-Out Family Project–to bring their non-believing relatives to heaven with them!

 

[maryjk]

I don’t think that Good Friday is an obligation, at least in the U.S.

So do you think it will be easier to evangelize this non-religious family on MLK Day? Or Veteran’s Day?

I’m sorry, everyone, but the more I think about it, the more I think that this family should host their super-liberal relatives over the Easter Weekend, the most sacred time of the year for Christians.

I agree with this IF there were not children involved.

I just would not throw my 10 and 13 year old to the wolves. And I think that is what the OP is doing since these relatives are so vocal about their lack of belief.

And no, you are right, Good Friday is not a Holy Day of Obligation. But our family attends Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night, obligation or not.

 

[Gwendolen]

No, my answer still stands. The extended family is not open to evangelism; if they acted remotely interested that would be another thing. The OP wants to observe Easter, and the holy days around it, the extended family does not seem to think this is worthwhile. I’d pick another weekend. This seems to be completely unnecessary drama.

 

[Bklynguy]

I don’t think that Good Friday is an obligation, at least in the U.S.

So do you think it will be easier to evangelize this non-religious family on MLK Day? Or Veteran’s Day?

I’m sorry, everyone, but the more I think about it, the more I think that this family should host their super-liberal relatives over the Easter Weekend, the most sacred time of the year for Christians.

Think about it–if you had a chance to take your non-believing loved ones to heaven for just three days, would you do it? Do you think that would convince them to believe in Jesus and join the Church? I would do that in a second!

So why not bring the relatives into a picture of heaven–a happy, healthy Christian marriage and family? After all, that’s why God established Marriage as a Sacrament–to be a PICTURE to the non-believers of the relationship between Christ and His Church.

So be the Sacrament!

I think that before the super-liberal relatives arrive, the OP’s entire God-fearing family should strategize and pray together over the best way to show Jesus to these people who so desperately need Him. Yes, even the children should be in on this planning session. At the same time, the God-fearing family should covenant together that they will not lose their cool (or their faith!) no matter WHAT rude and irreverent thing their visitors do, but instead, will use that situation to demonstrate even MORE Christian love!

I would actually practice charitable responses to some of the things that the non-religious family will say.

I would make this an All-Out Family Project–to bring their non-believing relatives to heaven with them!

I don’t think I would do this. If the relatives were not so openly hostile and were thus remotely open to possible evangelization, that would be another matter.

 

[Cat]

Are you all saying that Christians should only evangelize nice people who welcome the Gospel joyfully? Really?

That doesn’t sound like the Book of Acts to me. How many times did St. Paul and his companions get beat up, run out of town, thrown into jail, mocked, and rejected?

As for the 10 and 13 year olds, these are not little children. They are aware of their faith and the lack of faith of others, and they are plenty old enough to be involved with helping unbelieving relatives to come to faith. If their faith is so puny that it falls apart when Aunt and Uncle say dumb things about God, then it’s time that their faith was toughened up a little. The best way to toughen up faith is to challenge it. ANYONE can be a Christian when life is smooth and easy, and no annoying people challenge us.

Here’s the deal–IF Easter is the ONLY time of year that the OP’s family is able to go to Mass together and have time away from “the world” together, then OK, I can see not inviting the relatives. And if this is really the way the OP’s family life is–so hectic that the only Sunday they are able to attend Mass together is Easter Sunday–then I would work on the family life before it falls apart just like the other relatives. But that’s not the impression I got from the OP. I got the impression that they run a pretty good Catholic home. So can they not spare 4 days of it for relatives who are probably going to hell if no one intervenes and tries to snatch them back?

Did ANYONE read James 5: 19-20? Are we just ignoring it?

 

[Allegra]

I don’t think that Good Friday is an obligation, at least in the U.S.

So do you think it will be easier to evangelize this non-religious family on MLK Day? Or Veteran’s Day?

I’m sorry, everyone, but the more I think about it, the more I think that this family should host their super-liberal relatives over the Easter Weekend, the most sacred time of the year for Christians.

Think about it–if you had a chance to take your non-believing loved ones to heaven for just three days, would you do it? Do you think that would convince them to believe in Jesus and join the Church? I would do that in a second!

So why not bring the relatives into a picture of heaven–a happy, healthy Christian marriage and family? After all, that’s why God established Marriage as a Sacrament–to be a PICTURE to the non-believers of the relationship between Christ and His Church.

So be the Sacrament!

I think that before the super-liberal relatives arrive, the OP’s entire God-fearing family should strategize and pray together over the best way to show Jesus to these people who so desperately need Him. Yes, even the children should be in on this planning session. At the same time, the God-fearing family should covenant together that they will not lose their cool (or their faith!) no matter WHAT rude and irreverent thing their visitors do, but instead, will use that situation to demonstrate even MORE Christian love!

I would actually practice charitable responses to some of the things that the non-religious family will say.

I would make this an All-Out Family Project–to bring their non-believing relatives to heaven with them!

How are they supposed to get them there? In chains? The relatives don’t want to go to Mass and they don’t want to be involved in any religious activity. The OP has the option of interrupting and toning down their religious observations during the most sacred time of the year, in order to have more time to celebrate a secular Easter with relatives who are diametrically opposed to anything religious, or to simply spend time with them at another time. Neither option is going to be a powerful witness to the relatives as far as I can see, but at least the second option allows the family to celebrate Easter properly and still maintain a relationship with the relatives.

 

[peace2u2]

I don’t think I would do this. If the relatives were not so openly hostile and were thus remotely open to possible evangelization, that would be another matter.

Those who need to be evangelized are hostile and not open that is why they need to be evangelized. We should not pacify them or let them pacify us.

My suggestion would be to pray starting now and in fact we can all join in prayer asking God to send His Holy Spirit to open their minds and hearts to all that He would like to reveal to them and that His Grace would pierce their hearts so that they may respond to this gift that God would like them to have.

My other suggestion is to perhaps evangelize with music - contemporary Christian music moved my own heart - I was already on the path of repentance and conversion, but I was able to relate to the genre of music and so I am sure the children who are preteens will also. You could say drive to the grocery store, get gas or on your way to Church and have this music playing and watch the Holy Spirit move in ways you can’t even imagine.

Love Come To Life by Big Daddy Weave:
youtube.com/watch?v=SOVF634y6-Y

Bring The Rain by MercyMe:
youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

Your Love Never Fails by Newsboys:
youtube.com/watch?v=SgQ6vWEhH5E

All You’ve Ever Wanted by Casting Crowns:
youtube.com/watch?v=Ea-uQFPcvaM

Joyful, Joyful by Casting Crowns:
youtube.com/watch?v=AfNS0nxHXhc

To Know You by Casting Crowns:
youtube.com/watch?v=rciWoJODu2k

Alive Again by Matt Maher:
youtube.com/watch?v=kae-JNU3kTA

Send them tickets to a concert to one of the above bands when they are playing near their hometown. Sometimes you have to plant seeds in the children first and then perhaps the children will lead their parents to the gift of God’s grace!

You could also buy your kids as well as the ones visiting a Daily Devotional. Even the parents. I’m currently reading “Praying with St. Johns Gospel” Daily Reflections on the Gospel of St. John, published by Magnificat. Its very beautiful.

 

[on_the_hill]

Kind of a late arrival to the thread, but we have a very similar situation in our family.

My wife’s super liberal sister and husband sometimes visit my in-laws’ house over holidays when we are also staying there. It can be a very tense several days, believe me.

We basically agree to not discuss religion or politics. A civil conversation can become ugly very, very quickly.

The risk is that there will be an emotional debate that will break the family apart yet again.

My sister-in-law is often ‘estranged’ from her parents and my wife. Therefore, we pleasantly avoid anything that may be confrontational. And despite my SIL’s efforts to draw people into arguments, we’ve done pretty well lately and everyone’s being nice.

Now–in my SIL’s case, there is mental illness involved. She has spent her life in therapy and on meds for depression. She’s not a happy person. She was raised in the Church, went to college and declared herself an atheist (probably to hurt her mother), converted to Judaism (probably to hurt her mother) and married a Jewish man.

So there is no hope that anything we do or say will evangelize her back to the Church.

The best thing we can do is show the “Pope Francis influence” of Catholicism, and say or do nothing that we explicitly ascribe to our faith.

 

[peace2u2]

Did ANYONE read James 5: 19-20? Are we just ignoring it?

James 5:19-20:
My brothers, if anyone among you should stray from the truth and someone bring him back,
he should know that whoever brings back a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

 

[Bklynguy]

How are they supposed to get them there? In chains? The relatives don’t want to go to Mass and they don’t want to be involved in any religious activity. The OP has the option of interrupting and toning down their religious observations during the most sacred time of the year, in order to have more time to celebrate a secular Easter with relatives who are diametrically opposed to anything religious, or to simply spend time with them at another time. Neither option is going to be a powerful witness to the relatives as far as I can see, but at least the second option allows the family to celebrate Easter properly and still maintain a relationship with the relatives.

I agree with this.

 

[Bklynguy]

Are you all saying that Christians should only evangelize nice people who welcome the Gospel joyfully? Really?

I don’t see any poster here who is saying Christians should only evangelize nice people who welcome the Gospel joyfully. Please show me…which poster said that?

 

[Cat]

How are they supposed to get them there? In chains? The relatives don’t want to go to Mass and they don’t want to be involved in any religious activity. The OP has the option of interrupting and toning down their religious observations during the most sacred time of the year, in order to have more time to celebrate a secular Easter with relatives who are diametrically opposed to anything religious, or to simply spend time with them at another time. Neither option is going to be a powerful witness to the relatives as far as I can see, but at least the second option allows the family to celebrate Easter properly and still maintain a relationship with the relatives.

In one of the earlier posts, the OP said that the kids begged to come to Mass. That’s a start. No chains.

And I hope you see that I’m not just talking about bringing them to Mass. We don’t bear witness to Christ merely by bringing people to Mass. It is in our everyday lives that we bear witness of Christ’s power and goodness. As people see us doing everyday things like cooking, watching TV, playing with our children, conversing, they realize that we are filled with the Holy Spirit.

It’s the everyday witness of the OP’s godly family that will have the most impact on the godless family.

 

[Cat]

I don’t see any poster here who is saying Christians should only evangelize nice people who welcome the Gospel joyfully. Please show me…which poster said that?

No one said that. I asked if that’s what people think about evangelism, since several posters, including you, have said that since the family is hostile and not open to evangelism, the OP should back off.

When it comes to living out our faith and working to become more holy, what will make us stronger–opposition or ease?

If we are trying to develop a certain virtuous character trait, e.g., patience, what will be more likely to help us develop that trait–quiet children who always do the right thing, or noisy children who are constantly getting into mischief?

Again, if this is the OP’s sole time each year to connect with each other and with the Lord and His Church, then certainly make it strictly a family time, a “retreat”, so to speak, from everyday life. That would build up the family and the Church.

But if the OP’s family has a strong sense of togetherness throughout the year, and consistently spend time together at Mass and celebrating the various Church feast days and special days, then I hope that they will make the “sacrifice” of Easter, offer the weekend up to the Lord, and include their non-believing, hopeless relatives in their lives. That would build up their family and the Church.

What the OP should do is seek to build up/edify their own family and the Church family, all to the Glory of God. The OP should NOT seek to do what’s most “comfortable.”

 

[Allegra]

In one of the earlier posts, the OP said that the kids begged to come to Mass. That’s a start. No chains.

And I hope you see that I’m not just talking about bringing them to Mass. We don’t bear witness to Christ merely by bringing people to Mass. It is in our everyday lives that we bear witness of Christ’s power and goodness. As people see us doing everyday things like cooking, watching TV, playing with our children, conversing, they realize that we are filled with the Holy Spirit.

It’s the everyday witness of the OP’s godly family that will have the most impact on the godless family.

The kid’s parents aren’t likely to let the kids go to Mass again, since they enjoyed it. They can witness the Godliness of the OP’s family over Memorial Day weekend.

 

[Bklynguy]

No one said that. I asked if that’s what people think about evangelism, since several posters, including you, have said that since the family is hostile and not open to evangelism, the OP should back off.

When it comes to living out our faith and working to become more holy, what will make us stronger–opposition or ease?

If we are trying to develop a certain virtuous character trait, e.g., patience, what will be more likely to help us develop that trait–quiet children who always do the right thing, or noisy children who are constantly getting into mischief?

Again, if this is the OP’s sole time each year to connect with each other and with the Lord and His Church, then certainly make it strictly a family time, a “retreat”, so to speak, from everyday life. That would build up the family and the Church.

But if the OP’s family has a strong sense of togetherness throughout the year, and consistently spend time together at Mass and celebrating the various Church feast days and special days, then I hope that they will make the “sacrifice” of Easter, offer the weekend up to the Lord, and include their non-believing, hopeless relatives in their lives. That would build up their family and the Church.

What the OP should do is seek to build up/edify their own family and the Church family, all to the Glory of God. The OP should NOT seek to do what’s most “comfortable.”

I know, and in many cases, I would agree. However, in this situation, the OP indicated that the family, even though the kids wanted to go to Mass, disapproved and made fun of it behind their backs. That is very difficult to evangelize and if it is going to put a damper on the OP’s celebration of the biggest feast day in all of Christendom, it might be worth asking them to come at a different time of the year.

This is one of those cases where prayer and other forms of evangelization, such as by example of how you live your life, practice your religion, and raise/teach your kids might be more effective than trying to outwardly evangelize someone who has made it quite clear what they think of your efforts.

This seems to be more saint territory, and while we are all called to be saints and to be holy, this might be more than the OP is willing or able to chew off.

 

[Sharen]

Thanks everyone for your ideas! I talked to my husband, and he feels there is no way we can put them off. I think the key is to set boundaries, not discuss politics, and let them know ahead of time that we will be attending liturgies basically every day they are here.
I appreciate all your help - - I have made it through before, and I will again. Part of the difficulty is that I am more religious now than I was even a few years ago, and so I don’t think they get how religiously devout my family and I are now.
Thanks again everyone!

Please speak to your husband again. You CAN put them off. You are his wife and he needs to stand with you. You do not need this stress during Holy Week. They can pick another time to visit and you are not obligated to put them up, either. I find it surprising how entitled some family members and friends can be about expecting to be hosted and entertained during a visit. Staying at a hotel provides plenty of time for visiting as well as space and boundaries as well. If you don’t put your foot down this year, this will keep happening. I encourage you to make a stand.

 

[hsmomforlife]

God first, God always. I would inform them that this is a Most Holy time in your household and not a good time for them to plan their vacation at your home. A motel would be a better choice for them, visit them at your convenience.

AMEN!

 

[hsmomforlife]

Really? We don’t get along at all with people who disagree with us? That’s not been my experience. I have many friends and relatives with different beliefs and values than mine.

Actually, your post makes it sound as though you are the one with anger and resentment towards those you disagree with.

Sorry Blue Eyed Lady, you may be the exception to the rule when you post here on CAF, but there are many that don’t adhere to the same level of civility. Maybe YOU are the common thread with your friends and relatives with different beliefs that helps everything remain civil?

I do have to say that you are one of…I can’t even quote a number, maybe the ONLY, civil atheist that I have come across on the internet…

 

[DeniseNY]

No, my answer still stands. The extended family is not open to evangelism; if they acted remotely interested that would be another thing. The OP wants to observe Easter, and the holy days around it, the extended family does not seem to think this is worthwhile. I’d pick another weekend. This seems to be completely unnecessary drama.