Supplying condoms?

[pumpkinbeast]

Okay, I’m going to be interviewed for a monitoring possition in a residence at my university tomorrow afternoon. The monitors here have condoms at hand for anyone who wants them. I hope I will be able to expain that, due to my religious beliefs, I can’t hand out condoms, and hopefully that shouldn’t be a big deal, since all the other monitors in the house will have them, and it’s not like people couldn’t get them if they wanted them. My current monitor raised the point that if I did that, people might feel like I was judging them, reguardless of whether I actually was or not (which I wouldn’t, it’s not for me to know if someone actually sinned or not, just that they might have, only God knows for sure) and they might not be comfortable coming to talk to me, and as part of my job I would need to make sure people are as comfortable with me as possible. And she also mentioned that I might have people ask me where to get birth control or emergency contraceptives. I asked, could I give them that info, along with scientifically proven risks and side affects that the nurse may or may not tell them about, and same with condoms, which the nurse DEFINATELY wouldn’t tell them about? She said that wasn’t being objective, and telling them things that they hadn’t asked for. x.o I’m a bit confused right now… I really, REALLY want to be a monitor, because I truely want to be there for people! I have no problem talking about things like sex, but I could never recommend people do it premaritally or with contraceptives. And isn’t it possible that, in taking this stance, the people in the house who are more religious would feel more comfortable talking to me? Please, tell me what you think, give me some advice as to how to argue this the best way, and prayers! Thanks! ^^

 

[Scottgun]

Tell the truth and don’t materially cooperate with evil (handing out condoms, etc.)

Scott

 

[kleary]

Okay, I’m going to be interviewed for a monitoring possition in a residence at my university tomorrow afternoon. The monitors here have condoms at hand for anyone who wants them. I hope I will be able to expain that, due to my religious beliefs, I can’t hand out condoms, and hopefully that shouldn’t be a big deal, since all the other monitors in the house will have them, and it’s not like people couldn’t get them if they wanted them. My current monitor raised the point that if I did that, people might feel like I was judging them, reguardless of whether I actually was or not (which I wouldn’t, it’s not for me to know if someone actually sinned or not, just that they might have, only God knows for sure) and they might not be comfortable coming to talk to me, and as part of my job I would need to make sure people are as comfortable with me as possible. And she also mentioned that I might have people ask me where to get birth control or emergency contraceptives. I asked, could I give them that info, along with scientifically proven risks and side affects that the nurse may or may not tell them about, and same with condoms, which the nurse DEFINATELY wouldn’t tell them about? She said that wasn’t being objective, and telling them things that they hadn’t asked for. x.o I’m a bit confused right now… I really, REALLY want to be a monitor, because I truely want to be there for people! I have no problem talking about things like sex, but I could never recommend people do it premaritally or with contraceptives. And isn’t it possible that, in taking this stance, the people in the house who are more religious would feel more comfortable talking to me? Please, tell me what you think, give me some advice as to how to argue this the best way, and prayers! Thanks! ^^

First of all I would find out if it is the university’s policy that the monitors have condoms in their posession to hand out to people who ask for them. However if you sit at a desk and they are in a drawer I would seriously re-consider your choice of this job.

Secondly, it is morally wrong for anyone to use a condom, and that is not “judging them”, it is a plain moral truth, to do anything to artificially prevent conception is mortal sin- and condom useage does just that- no matter pre-marital or marital—you can never use a condomn even if you are married.

Third, if you are to argue the issue, go to the authorities there at the university and tell them that it is not morally permissable for you to give out condoms yet you still would like the job and if they could either remove the condoms when it is time for your shift or even argue to the school that it is wrong for them to have the monitors supplying condoms.

Ken

 

[pumpkinbeast]

First of all I would find out if it is the university’s policy that the monitors have condoms in their posession to hand out to people who ask for them. However if you sit at a desk and they are in a drawer I would seriously re-consider your choice of this job.

Secondly, it is morally wrong for anyone to use a condom, and that is not “judging them”, it is a plain moral truth, to do anything to artificially prevent conception is mortal sin- and condom useage does just that- no matter pre-marital or marital—you can never use a condomn even if you are married.

Third, if you are to argue the issue, go to the authorities there at the university and tell them that it is not morally permissable for you to give out condoms yet you still would like the job and if they could either remove the condoms when it is time for your shift or even argue to the school that it is wrong for them to have the monitors supplying condoms.

Ken

I have never seen it written any where that monitors have to have condoms on hand. I will be a monitor essentially 24/7; I don’t sit at a desk or anything, the condoms would be in my room. The job description doesn’t mention it, though ti does have a rather open-ended sentance at the end that says I must accept any ‘special tasks’ from the Dons, Dean of Students, and Residence Manager. I suppose I could refuse that on moral grounds… Unless they ask me, I don’t think I have any obligation to tell them(the interviewers) that I won’t hand out condoms, do I? Afterwards, if they do hire me, it would be easier to argue my case, I think… The main part of the monitor’s job is to be there, all the time, to help anyone with their problems and direct them to good sources for help. They act like big brothers or sisters, essentially.

 

[1ke]

I have never seen it written any where that monitors have to have condoms on hand. I will be a monitor essentially 24/7; I don’t sit at a desk or anything, the condoms would be in my room. The job description doesn’t mention it, though ti does have a rather open-ended sentance at the end that says I must accept any ‘special tasks’ from the Dons, Dean of Students, and Residence Manager. I suppose I could refuse that on moral grounds… Unless they ask me, I don’t think I have any obligation to tell them(the interviewers) that I won’t hand out condoms, do I? Afterwards, if they do hire me, it would be easier to argue my case, I think… The main part of the monitor’s job is to be there, all the time, to help anyone with their problems and direct them to good sources for help. They act like big brothers or sisters, essentially.

You are correct, you have no obligation to tell them anything related to your religion. It is illegal under Title IX of the Civil Rights Act for them to even ask-- which prohibits discrimination on the basis of religion.

If you are directly asked, you can choose to answer or not. But, legally they shouldn’t be able to ask you. And, if it’s not in the job description they probably won’t ask you.

You might consider contacting a pro-life legal firm like Thomas Moore Law Center or American Center for Law and Justice. They can likely guide you; they defend many pro-life and religious people who have situations just like this. They might be able to give you some advice over the phone.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Okay, I’m going to be interviewed for a monitoring possition in a residence at my university tomorrow afternoon. The monitors here have condoms at hand for anyone who wants them. I hope I will be able to expain that, due to my religious beliefs, I can’t hand out condoms, and hopefully that shouldn’t be a big deal, since all the other monitors in the house will have them, and it’s not like people couldn’t get them if they wanted them. My current monitor raised the point that if I did that, people might feel like I was judging them, reguardless of whether I actually was or not (which I wouldn’t, it’s not for me to know if someone actually sinned or not, just that they might have, only God knows for sure) and they might not be comfortable coming to talk to me, and as part of my job I would need to make sure people are as comfortable with me as possible. And she also mentioned that I might have people ask me where to get birth control or emergency contraceptives. I asked, could I give them that info, along with scientifically proven risks and side affects that the nurse may or may not tell them about, and same with condoms, which the nurse DEFINATELY wouldn’t tell them about? She said that wasn’t being objective, and telling them things that they hadn’t asked for. x.o I’m a bit confused right now… I really, REALLY want to be a monitor, because I truely want to be there for people! I have no problem talking about things like sex, but I could never recommend people do it premaritally or with contraceptives. And isn’t it possible that, in taking this stance, the people in the house who are more religious would feel more comfortable talking to me? Please, tell me what you think, give me some advice as to how to argue this the best way, and prayers! Thanks! ^^

Yes, I think you should take a stance but you don’t necessarily have to tell the people that are hiring you that you will. Just make the condom stash “disappear” and when they come and ask you for stuff like that, then start with your talk about other alternatives for them.
I think you’d be a good monitor! They could use someone like you.

 

[pumpkinbeast]

You are correct, you have no obligation to tell them anything related to your religion. It is illegal under Title IX of the Civil Rights Act for them to even ask-- which prohibits discrimination on the basis of religion.

If you are directly asked, you can choose to answer or not. But, legally they shouldn’t be able to ask you. And, if it’s not in the job description they probably won’t ask you.

You might consider contacting a pro-life legal firm like Thomas Moore Law Center or American Center for Law and Justice. They can likely guide you; they defend many pro-life and religious people who have situations just like this. They might be able to give you some advice over the phone.

Thanks, but I am Canadian, so that doesn’t apply to me, and I don’t know of any Canadian pro-life legal groups like Thomas Moore… I don’t know that there are any.

Yes, I think you should take a stance but you don’t necessarily have to tell the people that are hiring you that you will. Just make the condom stash “disappear” and when they come and ask you for stuff like that, then start with your talk about other alternatives for them.
I think you’d be a good monitor! They could use someone like you.

Aww, thanks. ^^ No worries, I’ll do my research, too, so if anyone complains about me giving a religiously-biased view, I can point them towards scientific studies that prove the risks of contraceptives and premarital sex. ^^

I found out that a Catholic friend of mine also applied, and she said she wouldn’t hand out condoms, either. If we both became monitors, it would be great, because them the two of us could back each other up… I’ll say a rosary before I leave, and trust that God will put me where He needs me to be, condom-free. ^^ I’m fairly certain I won’t be asked, but I’m still nervous… I really want this job! Condom-supplying is a tiny part of what other monitors do, so my guess is it won’t be a big problem. If they give me a hard time, I will fight it in the courts of law if I have to, for the sake of all Catholics (and any religion who runs against the mainstream) in Canada. ^^

 

[Sixtus]

he monitors here have condoms at hand for anyone who wants them. I hope I will be able to expain that, due to my religious beliefs, I can’t hand out condoms, and hopefully that shouldn’t be a big deal, since all the other monitors in the house will have them, ^^

First off, there may be an issue about diversity here. They may argue that you may not believe in their use but do you have the right to deny people who do not share your religious beliefs.

If I was interviewing you, that is a question I would ask.

Now I am Catholic through and through. But, we have to recognise that this is a diversity and Equality of Opportunity issue. In any public life, you have to be seen as respecting peoples differences and rights to be different. If you do not, chances are you will not be offered the job!

but I could never recommend people do it premaritally or with contraceptives. Thanks!

That is fine. That is your rights under Diversity, that you are different and you have the right to hold that view. But you do not have the right to insist upon it, else again, you will be accused of ‘not respecting diversity and peoples right to be different or hold views different to your own.’

isn’t it possible that, in taking this stance, the people in the house who are more religious would feel more comfortable talking to me? and prayers! Thanks!

Yes, that may well prove to be the case.You could argue that they too ‘need a voice’.

If I went for a job where I had to hand out abortificient pills, I would refuse on ideological grounds that it is wholly inconsistent with my cultural beliefs. They would have to respect my rights to hold ‘culturally specific beliefs’. But they would not have to offer me the job. I could for example say that ‘I object to them but I have no problem sign-posting them to another, who does not share my cultural values’.

Good luck

 

[1ke]

Oops, sorry, I didn’t look closely enough to see you were in Canda.

Still, perhaps there are equivalent organizations and protections in Canada. I suppose you can Google and see.

 

[StCsDavid]

First of all, God bless you for taking a stand for life.

Is handing out condoms in the job description or is it just kind of a traditional practice. If it’s not in the job description, then I wouldn’t bring it up in the interview. Once you’re in the job, let the residences that you monitor know that you’re there to support them, but that your religious beliefs prevent you from dispensing contraceptives…and then laugh and say “I’m sure that’s not going to stop any of you who need them from finding them elsewhere. I’m just trying to save you a stop when in you’re in a panic trying to find one.” Then go on and be the best residence monitor that school has ever had.

 

[pumpkinbeast]

Okay, the interview is over, they didn’t ask about condoms. ^^ Now I sit back and wait… thanks, everyone, for your advice! ^^

 

[mrs_abbott]

Okay, the interview is over, they didn’t ask about condoms. ^^ Now I sit back and wait… thanks, everyone, for your advice! ^^

Good luck!!!

 

[Veritas41]

If anyone should come up to you asking for condoms, you may want to give them information demonstrating how unsafe they are. I’m a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center, and we have a diagram that shows, to scale, the size of the holes in latex condoms (naturally occurring, not tears) compared to sperm and HIV virus --it’s not reassuring! I’m not sure where you could get those (I’ll ask and find out where we get ours, or I can make some photocopies for you), but they would be a very good visual illustration of why it’s not wise to rely on condoms, so even if you can’t convince people from a moral point of view, you could perhaps convince them from a safety point of view and maybe provide you with an opportunity to share the wisdom of Church teaching on sexuality to some misguided souls

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

First off, there may be an issue about diversity here. They may argue that you may not believe in their use but do you have the right to deny people who do not share your religious beliefs.

If I was interviewing you, that is a question I would ask.

Now I am Catholic through and through. But, we have to recognise that this is a diversity and Equality of Opportunity issue. In any public life, you have to be seen as respecting peoples differences and rights to be different. If you do not, chances are you will not be offered the job!

This idea is bad. The idea that diversity and the needs/wants of others trumps my needs/wants. Not giving out condoms for free in no way hinders access to them. The diversity issue would be making someone hand them out that has a religious objection to doing so.

This is just the twisting of “tolerence” that is occuring in our society today.

True tolerence is not suppressing yourself to allow and assist others in doing what ever they want, it is others allowing you to be who you are and not imposing things upon you. No cooperating in handing out condoms in no way removes access to them or infringes up anyones rights, but forcing someone to hand them out does.

 

[Lil_M]

Everyone else has offered great advice, I think it would be great to have a monitor who was true to their convictions. Not in my residence, as it was “Catholic” (what a joke) but in another where my friend was the RA, she had a bag of condoms outside her door and it said something like “For emergencies”. I just had to laugh. When is it an “emergency” to have sex??

Best of luck with this!

 

[Malcolm_McLean]

Okay, I’m going to be interviewed for a monitoring possition in a residence at my university tomorrow afternoon. The monitors here have condoms at hand for anyone who wants them. I hope I will be able to expain that, due to my religious beliefs, I can’t hand out condoms, and hopefully that shouldn’t be a big deal, since all the other monitors in the house will have them, and it’s not like people couldn’t get them if they wanted them. My current monitor raised the point that if I did that, people might feel like I was judging them, reguardless of whether I actually was or not (which I wouldn’t, it’s not for me to know if someone actually sinned or not, just that they might have, only God knows for sure) and they might not be comfortable coming to talk to me, and as part of my job I would need to make sure people are as comfortable with me as possible. And she also mentioned that I might have people ask me where to get birth control or emergency contraceptives. I asked, could I give them that info, along with scientifically proven risks and side affects that the nurse may or may not tell them about, and same with condoms, which the nurse DEFINATELY wouldn’t tell them about? She said that wasn’t being objective, and telling them things that they hadn’t asked for. x.o I’m a bit confused right now… I really, REALLY want to be a monitor, because I truely want to be there for people! I have no problem talking about things like sex, but I could never recommend people do it premaritally or with contraceptives. And isn’t it possible that, in taking this stance, the people in the house who are more religious would feel more comfortable talking to me? Please, tell me what you think, give me some advice as to how to argue this the best way, and prayers! Thanks! ^^

I’m afraid it is a total collision.
The students are living in a culture where it is normal to have casual sex. The university interprets pregnacy as “damage” and beleives it has a responsibility to slow down the spread to AIDS and other STDs. However it also either accepts that casual sex is a good thing, or believes it has no right to disuade students from engaging in it.

I don’t see how, since monitors are an essential component of that policy, you can work as one. By applying you can force the university authorities to acknowledge that their ideas have brought them into diametric conflict with the Church. They might just give you an exemption, but probably not, since then their whole moral view unravels. The need to protect students from the suggestion that their behaviour may be immoral is a tacit recognition that it is immoral.

The idea that religious students might be more comfortable talking to you thna to a secualr monitor is a cute one, and might just work. It certainly exposes the contradictions in their position.

 

[prodigal-sun]

Getting the monitors job is not in your hands… It is in God’s.

If you want it, pray for it unceasingly, God will happily give it to you if it is in his plans.

If you do not get this job you are given a wonderful oppurtunity to recieve special graces from our Lord by offereing up your feelings of pain and rejection.

This really can be a win-win situation. The only way you can lose is by not telling the truth and capitulating to their demand that you sin!

I will send a prayer for your intentions.