Support for Therapy, Mental Illness

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curlynerd

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Dear CAF members,
First and foremost, I apologize for the “desperation posts” that one of the moderators so aptly deleted. I will not deflect responsibility for them, but I will say this: thank GOD, we got a second opinion of my diagnosis of depression and anxiety. As it turns out, I have (according to the most recent diagnosis) Bipolar disorder type 2; the medicine I was one is actually known for worsening mania and in some patients making depressive episodes worse. I, unfortunately, fell into both groups. It’s been about four weeks since they discontinued all medication for me, and I finally feel like…myself. It is a good feeling.
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   I would really appreciate prayers and prayer suggestions for me to use during this trying time. Growing up, I learned a lot of survival mechanisms that are extremely unhealthy: overspending, overeating, binging and purging, love addiction (I didn't know it existed), and severe breakdowns because I often feel like there's nothing I can do to calm down or change the situation. That's what happened that led to my own bad decisions that got me removed from school for a semester.

  They are willing to take me back there so long as the doctors believe I am healthy enough to do so. I really need prayers for this one. Given my living circumstances (too much to go into), it seems impossible. Please pray that I realize I am stronger than I think I am, that I do not need these addictions and vices because they are self-destructive, and that I find the self-respect to treat myself well. It all comes down to very self-destructive tendencies and feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. 

    I've been on other prayer sites, but I like this one the most. My goal is to be healthy, stable, autonomous....no longer tied to abusive people or unhealthy addictions or vices, to feel like I can handle when things go wrong in a healthy way. Please pray that the doctors and therapists do what they can, that I work very hard on making these things possible, and that because of all those positive changes, I am allowed back in school in August.

   I would love your prayers and support--I fully believe in the power of prayer. But, given the nature of bipolar disorder, my hope and optimism tends to swing and waver. I need to be healed of these things, and I was told "you may need another semester," but given my living situation, it's just not possible. Nothing is impossible with God, though. I need to get completely mentally healthy, grow a good sense of self-esteem, and surround myself with positive people. 

   Thanks for any help you can send my way.
Love, Marisa
 
I will pray for you; being wrongly diagnosed for years myself.
I am a Paranoid Schizophrenic with negative symptoms.
Or I have Schizotypal Personality Disorder, take your pick.
But have been diagnosed with everything else as well.
Either way I am on a good mood stabilizer and seem to
be doing ok with the world falling apart around me.
I will pray for you; it’s what I do.
Be at Peace
Dan
:highprayer:

written on my iMac
 
Mary, I beg you,
by that grace through which the Lord is with you
and you will to be with him,
let your mercy be with Marisa .
Let love for you always be with her,
and the care for her be always with you.
Let the cry of Marisa’s need,
as long as it persists,
be with you,
and the care of your goodness,
as long as she needs it,
be with Marisa .
Let joy in your blessedness
be always with her,
and compassion for her physical and mental afflictions,
when she needs it, be with you.
Amen
 
Thank you so much. The biggest issue right now is getting through of all these issues in a time-frame. I need to be back at school in August - no questions about it whatsoever. It has been said that it’s best for my mental health, but I’m caught in what the therapist called a catch-22: “For you to get better, you need to be in school. But for you to be in school, you need to get better.”

I have faith God will heal me and help me manage this. My biggest fear, though, is that it won’t be in time. It has to be by August. I think I may just pray the Rosary every day for this until I’m back at school.
 
Thank you again. I had a friend talk to me last night about the one thing that was really holding me back from feeling better…I haven’t felt this mellow/okay in a while. I just hope it can stay this way and that the therapist sees it!
 
From today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

O God, all good things come from you. We ask you to grant us these gifts:
that inspired by you, our thoughts may be righteous;
that guided by you, our actions may match our thoughts.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
Amen.
 
Thank you so much for the responses and prayers, everyone!

A little update: I go to see the psychiatrist for a “final diagnosis” and primary evaluation on Thursday, June 17th. It is up to him if I am healthy enough to go back to school as a resident and working. These are the conditions that have to be approved - if I’m not a resident, my health will deteriorate, and if I cannot work, I cannot afford staying there.

Please pray that I am well enough and that the psychiatrist approves me going back to school…and that the school agrees as well when I get in touch with them…
 
Thanks so much, everyone! The prayers are definitely helping. I had a meeting with the therapist today, and when I mentioned I was scared that the doctor wasn’t going to let me back into school, she said, “What makes you think you’re not going back to school?”

😃

It’s a good sign!

But please keep praying for me…that the associated problems I have get managed soon. It may take a miracle, but I’ve seen a miracle happen before.
 
Praying from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

My soul, find peace in God alone,
for he gives me strength to endure.
It is he who is my God and my safeguard,
my stronghold: I shall never be shaken.
In God is my salvation and my glory,
God is my strength – my refuge is with God.
 
curlynerd said:
Thank you again. I had a friend talk to me last night about the one thing that was really holding me back from feeling better…I haven’t felt this mellow/okay in a while. I just hope it can stay this way and that the therapist sees it!
Click to expand...
That’s great to hear! It takes a hero to live through some lives and some experiences.
I seem to feel some admiration!
I’ll keep you in my prayers and Masses.
Take care, Love.
And I’m glad you’re properly diagnosed now.
May God continue to bless you, and to help you keep your life in balance.
 
Trishie said:
That’s great to hear! It takes a hero to live through some lives and some experiences.
I seem to feel some admiration!
I’ll keep you in my prayers and Masses.
Take care, Love.
And I’m glad you’re properly diagnosed now.
May God continue to bless you, and to help you keep your life in balance.
Click to expand...
He’s helping…so much it’s almost not even funny. The one thing I’m scared of is that…this all happened once I decided I had no choice but to convert. I don’t believe in coincidence. The big thing that’s scaring me is…I’m honestly not good at being alone. I had a breakdown after, in one week, becoming homeless, disconnected from my whole family, then dumped, then called a “source of sin and spiritual darkness” and being told I took my ex away from God. (It was all too much for me at once to handle alone.)

I decided I had to give up everything I was doing that was un-Christian. I had asked God for an introduction and the young man I was dating had applied to a seminary college when he was 17 (he was turned down, so I wasn’t dating a seminarian or anything like that!), and I realized “this is what I have to do.” The relationship didn’t work out, but I got what I needed and asked for.

I’m SO scared that if I make all these changes to my life, and do convert, that I’m gonna be alone. I know making healthy changes isn’t easy (which is why I am so grateful for the prayers and support!), but it’s worth it. I just wish I had a little more clarity or insight to the future because I know I’d really like to be healthy, have a good, real relationship with God, and have a nice significant other one day. (Hopeful romantic, never hopeless!) I feel like my “dating pool” has significantly shrunk because I refuse to go back to people who encouraged sinful habits.

BUT, my school is a very conservative Catholic campus, and very SMALL. So…I’m not saying I’m a horrible person, but my former ways earned me a reputation. So there goes a good chunk of potential friends. It’s hard. I feel very lonely a lot, and that’s what hurts the most during all this. Any Saints I could ask to pray for me in this particular aim? I usually ask St. Mary Magdalene (she’s going to be my confirmation Saint!), but any others would be appreciated.

Love you all, and thanks again…🙂

-Marisa
 
Dear Marisa, as you find balance and struggle your way to feeling more whole, and your life becomes more wholesome for you, please God everything will fall into place. You only need one ‘significant other’ and I pray God he will come at the right time. It’s hard to wait.

I’ve been praying for quite some time for things to go right for my darling sons. I’ve had so many concerns for them and it seemed my prayers weren’t helping.
I actually can hardly take in the reality that at this time, things seem to be falling into place all in a matter of a few months. It almost seems too much! And two of my sons who were almost despaired of finding someone to love who loves them, and lo, and behold, it has happened! Other aspects of my children’s lives are also coming ‘good’ and I almost can’t believe it after all the prayer (and tears) that seemed to disappear into sand.

Don’t give up easily, Marisa, and give yourself whatever time you need, but know God will ‘come through’ for you’ at the right time.

Keep in touch so we can be there for you when you need support…and I pray you will find good support in your daily life. :grouphug:
 
Okay, we have a major issue on the school’s end.

The woman who decides on the school’s behalf if I am well enough to go back to school, is (I found out today) NOT a certified therapist. There is actually a letter-writing campaign going on right now to the Dean of students and the President of the school calling for her resignation (for myriad reasons I am not at liberty to discuss.)

Please pray that this woman agrees with the certified therapist and psychiatrist that I am well enough to go back…the dean of students will always, almost always, defer to her ‘expertise.’
 
Alright…today is the day I meet this doctor. I am not sure what to pray for. I’m guessing that he sees I am not a threat to myself or to others, that he diagnoses me accurately (whatever that may entail, though it scares me), and that he recommends that I return to school with minimal difficult conditions…

I’m very nervous…
 
We have a diagnosis!

It is officially bipolar disorder type 2. FINALLY, I KNOW WHAT’S WRONG! 😃

The problem now is…how to treat it. The big problem is this: to quote the psychiatrist, “it’s a real **** shoot when it comes to finding the right combination of medicines.” There is a possibility I may have to take another semester off. Given my circumstances, I can’t take another semester off without having to give up on my education entirely (long story.)

Please pray that this first round of medicine is “the one.” If it’s not, they may have to take an extended period of time to “fix it.”

Also…one of the medicines prescribed is somewhat controversial. Too much of it can be toxic to the body and do a lot of damage. I’m very, very scared.
 
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