Support Improper Marriage?

[seeker_of_God]

Hello,

A bit of background:

My wife’s parents separated about seven years ago due to infedelity on her mother’s part. Her father tried to reconcile, but her mother didn’t want to, so he moved on. Then she tried to reconcile, but he didn’t want to, etc. They are not officially divorced yet, because of some problems in court. However, it seems that at least her father has no interest in reconciling; I’m not sure about her mother.

Now, her father is seriously dating someone, I think for a year or two now. He just called my wife yesterday and told her that he might be getting married, because it is going very well. Obviously the divorce is necessary first.

She reminded him that he needs to get his marriage annulled, first. He said he doesn’t want to go through all that. Apparently then he won’t be getting married in the Church if this happens.

Now, he said that he’d ask her to sing at his wedding if he got married. But our question is, is this appropriate? Would this be giving scandal if she were to sing at his wedding? Should she even attend? We’re not really sure how this should be handled.

For clarification, he is Catholic, but his girlfriend is not, or more properly is fallen away Orthodox.

Advice would be appreciated.

 

[1ke]

This is a question best discussed with your pastor.

 

[seeker_of_God]

This is a question best discussed with your pastor.

We understand that, and agree, but would appreciate outside advice as well. We will be contacting several people, including a moral theologian we know.

 

[mcc804]

If I were in this situation I would be forced to sit down and talk this out with my father. Annulments are not a nice little formality for those who want to marry in the Catholic Church.

If your wife’s father goes through with this, he and his new “wife” will be adulterers in the eyes of the Church/God. Your wife singing at this occasion would be giving a public display of approval at the act that will put her father’s very soul in mortal danger.

I would explain to my father why I could not participate. I would encourage him to take the time to file for an annulment … (although an annulment is not guaranteed, regardless of how many have been given out in recent decades).

It’s a messy situation. Trying to get your wife’s parent’s back together at this late date seems nearly impossible. But people in the dad’s situation are especially vulnerable because they feel that they did nothing wrong in ending their marriage … and so shouldn’t be “punished” by having to live alone.

Good Luck and God Bless.

 

[seeker_of_God]

If I were in this situation I would be forced to sit down and talk this out with my father. Annulments are not a nice little formality for those who want to marry in the Catholic Church.

If your wife’s father goes through with this, he and his new “wife” will be adulterers in the eyes of the Church/God. Your wife singing at this occasion would be giving a public display of approval at the act that will put her father’s very soul in mortal danger.

I would explain to my father why I could not participate. I would encourage him to take the time to file for an annulment … (although an annulment is not guaranteed, regardless of how many have been given out in recent decades).

It’s a messy situation. Trying to get your wife’s parent’s back together at this late date seems nearly impossible. But people in the dad’s situation are especially vulnerable because they feel that they did nothing wrong in ending their marriage … and so shouldn’t be “punished” by having to live alone.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Thank you so much for your response. She will definitely be talking to him. I agree with what you say.

Pray for us please, and her father as well.