Supporting and encouraging priests

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EvelynEVF

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I’m not sure if I’ve put this question in the right place, but I’m wondering what are good and practical ways to support and encourage a really wonderful priest?

I am a female convert from a Fundamentalist church, where there is little contact between the sexes, and so it is weird for me to consider personal expressions of gratitude, feeling that they may be “inappropriate” just because they cross gender lines. Especially as I am a single woman.

I have thanked him in writing for the increased chanting and provided a meal once, (which I would be glad to do on a regular basis, since it is almost easier to cook for two than one.)

Anyway, how do you all support your priests, and if there are priests reading, what encourages you best from your parishioners?
 
I, too, am single, and one of my best friends is my parochial vicar.

What I have done to encourage him and support him is give him selected books by the former Joseph Cardinal Razinger,now Pope Benedict XVI. These books center around the liturgy and homelitcs (preaching). He enjoys reading them and I have seen the fruits of that reading both in his preaching and the manner in which he celebrates the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. On occasion, I will treat him for coffee or lunch or dinner.

On his birthday and on the date of the anniversary of his ordination to the priesthood, I have a Mass said for him.
 
EvelynEVF said:
I’m not sure if I’ve put this question in the right place, but I’m wondering what are good and practical ways to support and encourage a really wonderful priest?

I am a female convert from a Fundamentalist church, where there is little contact between the sexes, and so it is weird for me to consider personal expressions of gratitude, feeling that they may be “inappropriate” just because they cross gender lines. Especially as I am a single woman.

I have thanked him in writing for the increased chanting and provided a meal once, (which I would be glad to do on a regular basis, since it is almost easier to cook for two than one.)

Anyway, how do you all support your priests, and if there are priests reading, what encourages you best from your parishioners?
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It seems you’re being wonderfully supportive.

Compliments to reinforce what he does well are always good, such as “Thank you for singing the Eucharistic Prayer today Father” or “I liked what you said that … during your homily Father.” Demonstrate that you’re listening during his homily. Remember him with a card and note on Christmas, Easter, his birthday, Holy Thursday, and Priest’s Vocations Sunday.

I think many pastors would love to hear “Father, in what ways would you like me to serve the parish?”
 
THE BEAUTIFUL HANDS OF A PRIEST

We need them in life’s early morning, we need them again at its close;
We feel their warm clasp of true friendship, we seek them when tasting life’s woes.
When we come to this world we are sinful, the greatest as well as the least.
And the hand that makes us pure as angels is the beautiful hand of a priest.

At the altar each day we behold them, and the hands of a king on his throne
Are not equal to them in their greatness, their dignity stands all alone;
For there in the stillness of morning, ere the sun has emerged from the East,
There God rests between the pure fingers of the beautiful hands of a priest.

And when we are tempted and wander to pathways of shame and sin,
‘Tis the hand of a priest will absolve us – not once, but again and again;
And when we are taking life’s partner, other hands may prepare us a feast,
But the hand that will bless and unite us is the beautiful hand of a priest.

God bless them and keep them all holy for the Host which their fingers caress;
What can a poor sinner do better than ask Him, He Who chose thee to bless?
When the death-dews on our eyelids are falling, may our courage and strength be increased,
By seeing raised o’er us in blessing, the beautiful hands of a priest.
 
Certainly pray for him

That he may be holy

Thank You, God, for the gift of each priest to us. Fulfil Your will in him. Grant that he may bear fruit a-hundredfold, that his spirit is made perfect in Your sight.

Through Your Spirit, please witness the beatitudes in him. Let his prayer be, “Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I love You, above all, with my whole being. My brothers and sisters of all humankind, I love you as myself, as God loves me. I love you with His love poured through my being out of my self-giving in Him.”

Pardon each priest for his sins and their consequences. Pardon any way that he ever fails in his commitment to You. Restore and heal him. Lead him to overcome his faults. Transform into good anything that he may spoil by weakness, sin, or lack of knowledge.

May Your priest so belong to You, may he be so transformed by Your love that his faults no longer constitute offence in Your sight, or foster anything that impedes Your will. This, my soul, in trusting confidence, implores, giving thanks for Your merciful love.
 
one way or other

Love and commitment

God, for Jesus’ sake look upon Your priest and love him more than human mind can conceive! Through Your Spirit, please transmute his humanity through Your love and unite him with You! Make Your love to be his love, Your thoughts to be his thoughts, Your truth to be his truth, Your ways to be his ways, Your strength to be his strength.

Transform him into a fountain of Your goodness and love, a source of salvation to the whole human spirit of Your people. Fill him with loving-kindness, with peace and faith to share with others.

Ever deepen his contemplation and comprehension of You, and commensurately, his love and service. Intensify his perception and understanding of other human beings.

Deepen his ability to communicate Your gospel to them, and commensurately, his love and service. Expand in him the gift of opening others’ hearts and minds, so that they become receptive to Your love and teachings. Let others be thus inspired to seek God, rather than concepts of God.

Wherever he goes, whatever he does, whatever he says or preaches, endow Your priest with grace and wisdom to inspire others to love and faith. Empower him to inflame complacency into genuine and faithful practice of Your greatest commandment, of love for You above all and others as self!

Almighty God, make him the saint You mean him to be. With thanksgiving, I offer him to Your merciful love!
 
or something like

The Sacraments

Our God, through Jesus You give Your priest power to minister Your Sacraments. Grant that he may always do so with deep love and faith.

Let those he baptises belong always to You. If at some time in their lives they fail to trust Your love and to share Your gifts, protect them through this time and lead them safely back with renewed faith and obedience to Your will.

Let all who are present at the Eucharist with him truly share in it. Let all who receive Communion through his ministry become aware of the greatness of this gift.

Let those who confess to him find true sorrow and absolution—and let him speak to them out of Your knowledge and love of them.

Let anyone he anoints in sickness and in death be healed in spirit, comforted by Your peace, and absorbed eternally into You through Your divine mercy. Along with the gifts of the Holy Spirit, give to those to whom he administers Confirmation a deep abiding desire to grow in You and the urge constantly to invoke the Spirit’s guidance.

Let all whom he blesses in Matrimony be given strength and wisdom to build and maintain unity in Your faith and love—and may they transmit these gifts to their children.

Let he who is ordained, wholeheartedly fulfil his vows and duties, and Your will for him, so that he may attain the highest degree of service and sanctity possible to him and he may be truly Christ amongst us.

Let all the graces and blessings that You intend to flow from these Sacraments in which Your Priest is instrument, cascade from his ministering, to all persons who partake and behold.
 
In this case I just pray on behalf of priests because they have…

Vulnerable human reality

Jesus, You chose Your priests from amongst Your people, yet in the sacramental ‘laying of hands’ You do not perfect us. Like those we serve, we need pardon, healing, prayer and faith as we seek grace to become humble, genuine witnesses of Christ.

Through Sacrament and intercession, teaching and act, we encourage and instruct Your people as You call us in our personal human history and reality, to be instruments of Your grace for others.

By your honest expression of rightly directed human emotion, intelligence and personality, You witnessed the wholeness of our nature when creatively lived in God’s love. In Your authenticity as a vital human, You revealed that each person’s salvation is projected around reality, not around some ideal self. Wholeness is found in one’s actual situation with its limitations and advantages. It is offered within one’s true personality in its abilities and handicaps.

Allow us to recognise Your unique expression of love in each other person. Give us the gift of revealing to everyone we meet and serve—the image within him of the glorious, loving beauty of You amid his human frailties and strengths. We thus encourage his trust and affirm his hope in Your patient lifelong moulding of him in the overwhelming love of Your personal plan for him.

In us, therefore—who are no less human than any other person—is manifest the wise charity and the gentle humility of Christ, to each person who comes before You in contrition, thankfulness, faith and joy. We thank and praise You Jesus, who shared all weakness of our nature except sin.

Help us to respect and encourage everyone, pardoning those who offend or inconvenience us. In liberty of spirit born of obedience, faith, and of freedom from undue attachments—we allow Your grace and witness to flow through us to others. We trust that You accomplish this even where there is no evidence of Your action.

Please sustain us as generous, inspired instruments of grace for Your continuing mission, as we alert others to the light of the Spirit in their lives. We glorify You, as we daily accept this joyful cross of our priestly ministry, while managing the challenges of our own vulnerable humanity! Thank You Jesus, Who throughout the ages lovingly uses Your imperfect creatures as instruments of love, service, and glory!
 
for a priest the most rewarding thing is seeing crowds at confession and having the church filled to bursting on every Sunday, not just Christmas and Ash Wednesday.

when you do make a comment, make it positive, not a complaint

when you do have a legitimate complaint make it in private, make it brief, specific and sign your name. better yet offer to serve on the committee or ministry who share responsibility for the area of your complaint.

come to your parish expecting to serve rather than to be served

and yes not only priests, but I have heard other clergy in other denoms are forced to be more “stand-offish” in forming personal friendships, and even in how they meet with people, sad commentary on our times

pray for him regularly, and let him know you do, that is an appropriate message in a holiday greeting card, for instance.
 
Evelyn
God bless you. You have a good and kind heart but I’ve lived long enough to sound some warning bells!

[Especially if one is female] I think it’s important not to become particularly focused on the priest or to be particularly personal with him even while giving judicious appreciation and support or there is always the possibility of causing some unsettling emotions…and as a single woman I would advise not to make a regular thing of asking him to dinner…It’s an odd statement you make…“it’s almost easier to cook for two than one” which actually doesn’t ring true. It’s much easier to cook for one, you don’t have to try so hard! I think we always have to be very careful about our motivation…I’ve see some sad situations arise where motivations and feelings get confused.

There is also the possibility of giving scandal if you as a single woman have a priest to dinner often. I’m sure your heart is in the right place, but you don’t need to put so much thought into the priest. He chose his life, and he’s there to serve. While you show him respect, seek rather for people in the parish and in your area who need love and care, like the elderly, the poor, the lonely, and so on. We are called to live the gospel for everyone.

God bless you with joy, happiness, and peace!
 
A few things I have done:

There is a priest that I have known for years. He was at the Catholic student center at my university when I was a student. He offficiated at my wedding after he moved to another parish. And when I had been away from the church for years, I sought him out to hear my confession. Some time after that I joined a parish much closer to my home, so I hadn’t seen him in a while. A couple of years ago at Christmas, I sent him a nice card and wrote a note letting him know how much I had appreciated his ministry, etc. I saw him a couple of months later when he confirmed my Godson and he let me know afterwards how much he appreciated the note and gave me a big hug.

There is another priest who was my pastor for 4 or 5 years. I would sometimes let him know how much I appreciated his homilies and let him know when something (especially something difficult) was well-said. I did offer to take over the job of altar server scheduling, though I think that was more of a relief for the person doing the job than for him. Since he has moved, we stay in contact by email - once or twice a month, maybe - and every 3 or 4 months, my boys and I (or a friend and I) will attend Mass at his parish and take him to lunch afterwards. I let him know that he is in my prayers, I send him a card for his birthday, the anniversary of his ordination and Christmas, and if someone hasn’t beat me to it, I have a Mass said on his birthday.

Then there is my current pastor. If I have to email him about something official (altar server stuff) I make sure to thank him for everything that he does for us. Sometimes, after Mass, I let him know how much I like his homilies. At an altar server outing (that he gave the OK for, arranged financing for, and attended) I had the servers sign a thank-you card and sent it to him along with a picture of the kids and a quick note from me. He was helpful in getting me approved to a godparent for my little nephew last summer (I thought I was going to have to submit tissue samples to my sister’s church) I emailed him one small picture of the baptism and simply said “thanks for your help”. For Christmas, I will probably send a card, and maybe include a gift card for a small amount to a bookstore. I pray for him.

The OP says she has “provided a meal”. For all we know, she could have put it in tupperware containers and dropped it off at the rectory for him to reheat. I would hesitate to have a one-on-one meal with a priest - even my former pastor whom I consider to be a friend. I would not want to put him in an awkard position or give people something to gossip about.

My 2 cents.
 
You’re quite right about “providing a meal.” Tupperware it was 🙂 Which is why it’s easier to cook for two–cuts down on the endless leftovers!

Thanks for all the good ideas!
 
Trishie said:
There is also the possibility of giving scandal if you as a single woman have a priest to dinner often. I’m sure your heart is in the right place, but you don’t need to put so much thought into the priest. He chose his life, and he’s there to serve. While you show him respect, seek rather for people in the parish and in your area who need love and care, like the elderly, the poor, the lonely, and so on. We are called to live the gospel for everyone.

God bless you with joy, happiness, and peace!
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I understand what you mean. There was a woman I know who often invited a certain priest over for dinner and publically showed him a lot of attention. While I know her actions were most likely innocent (I know her casually), many people did talk about her and the priest. Yes, that is gossip, but it also shows that some people were scandalized by their relationship.

It is better in this type of situation to also invite others to dinner along with the priest, or to be aware of how much attention one is paying to a priest in public. I am very close to a priest, but I am also very much aware of the boundaries that must be maintained and that there are certain things I can do with other close friends that I cannot do with him (and also with other male friends that I have - since I am married) because of what any hints at scandal could do to his reputation.

i encourage him by reminding him that he is always in my prayers and by complimenting him on homilies or when he does somthing extra ordinary.
 
thistle said:
THE BEAUTIFUL HANDS OF A PRIEST

We need them in life’s early morning, we need them again at its close;
We feel their warm clasp of true friendship, we seek them when tasting life’s woes.
When we come to this world we are sinful, the greatest as well as the least.
And the hand that makes us pure as angels is the beautiful hand of a priest.

At the altar each day we behold them, and the hands of a king on his throne
Are not equal to them in their greatness, their dignity stands all alone;
For there in the stillness of morning, ere the sun has emerged from the East,
There God rests between the pure fingers of the beautiful hands of a priest.

And when we are tempted and wander to pathways of shame and sin,
‘Tis the hand of a priest will absolve us – not once, but again and again;
And when we are taking life’s partner, other hands may prepare us a feast,
But the hand that will bless and unite us is the beautiful hand of a priest.

God bless them and keep them all holy for the Host which their fingers caress;
What can a poor sinner do better than ask Him, He Who chose thee to bless?
When the death-dews on our eyelids are falling, may our courage and strength be increased,
By seeing raised o’er us in blessing, the beautiful hands of a priest.
Click to expand...
This is beautiful. Do you know who wrote it and/or where it came from?
 
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