Surrending the family dog and lying?

[Dandelion_Wine]

We’ve had a dog for two years now and recently had to surrender it back to the Humane Society where we rescued her. She has some major medical issues that were causing behavioral issues. We can’t afford the $7000 surgery that ‘might’ fix her issue. Everyone is obviously distraught. The two children that were affected most by the behavioral issues wanted her gone but also miss her terribly.

I went alone to surrender her. On the form, there is a box where you can decide whether you want to be notified if they decided she couldn’t be re-homed and were going to euthanize her. I decided to state that I didn’t want to be notified. I figured if the family asked whether they called me, I could honestly say no they didn’t. They don’t know about the option.

One of those ‘moral loopholes’ where the family would have hope that she’s still alive and found a better home and I wouldn’t have to lie.

Well, they called me anyway and she’s being euthanized.

I struggle now with what I’m going to do if they ask - tell the truth or a ‘white lie’.

Someone help me be strong.

 

[dshix]

We’ve had a dog for two years now and recently had to surrender it back to the Humane Society where we rescued her. She has some major medical issues that were causing behavioral issues. We can’t afford the $7000 surgery that ‘might’ fix her issue. Everyone is obviously distraught. The two children that were affected most by the behavioral issues wanted her gone but also miss her terribly.

I went alone to surrender her. On the form, there is a box where you can decide whether you want to be notified if they decided she couldn’t be re-homed and were going to euthanize her. I decided to state that I didn’t want to be notified. I figured if the family asked whether they called me, I could honestly say no they didn’t. They don’t know about the option.

One of those ‘moral loopholes’ where the family would have hope that she’s still alive and found a better home and I wouldn’t have to lie.

Well, they called me anyway and she’s being euthanized.

I struggle now with what I’m going to do if they ask - tell the truth or a ‘white lie’.

Someone help me be strong.

If they ask, bite the bullet. It is good for you to exercise the virtue of integrity in difficult situations.

Furthermore, it’s not going to help your children let go of the dog if they are allowed to imagine that the dog is still alive.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

If your kids don’t know about the practice of calling the former owner, how would they even know to ask? You don’t say how old the kids are, but I wouldn’t feel any need to tell small children about this.

If a dog has medical issues, don’t feel bad about having it put down. Animal life is not the same as human life and even children can understand that.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Hindsight is always 20-20, and the situations and decisions have obviously been stressful for all of you. It might have been easier to have a sense of closure, though, if you had taken the decision to simply have your own vet put the dog to sleep, taking the dog in yourself, after processing it emotionally with the family and supporting one another through it. Then having a little prayer time, making a memorial scrapbook, or whatever seems helpful. (These things you can still do.)

I would say just be direct and honest, as grief is harder to resolve if one doesn’t know what really happened. When I was 9 or 10, my parents got me a cat from the Humane Society. Back then, the HS didn’t have the financial/facility resources for health checks, and animals were just adopted out “as is.” Long story short, within a week my cat was gravely ill. My dad took her back to the Humane Society, and I clung to a hope that she had found another home, but my parents kind of hemmed and hawed. When I got a little older I put 2 + 2 together. Now it didn’t cause major trust issues, but I imagine it would’ve been a bit easier if my parents had simply told me that my cat was put to sleep, let me cry and get it out of my system, and we all move on.

So I vote for honesty and then moving into some sort of healing process. And please know again that I am not judging, merely sharing from the collective experiences I’ve gone through with my own pets. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve done my best to learn from them. It’s not always clear cut what to do. Praying for comfort for all of you during this difficult time.

 

[KLM789]

Maybe if the kids are small, tell them you don’t know how the dog is doing, but she’s not at the pound any longer but went to a better place to live. You just don’t know where. ?? Unless this isn’t sort of the truth for you.

 

[AnchoredInHope]

I have to ask…is there not a rescue group in your area that would be willing to take her instead of having her at the Humane Society to be euthanized?

 

[gardenswithkids]

Since you asked the humane society not to tell you, you might just tell the children that you asked them not to tell you about the dog. The fact that they did tell you doesn’t change the fact that you asked them not to tell you.

And I’m sorry for the loss of your family pet. It’s tough to lose a pet, and that sounds like a difficult situation.

 

[dshix]

Since you asked the humane society not to tell you, you might just tell the children that you asked them not to tell you about the dog. The fact that they did tell you doesn’t change the fact that you asked them not to tell you.

And I’m sorry for the loss of your family pet. It’s tough to lose a pet, and that sounds like a difficult situation.

That’s a clever solution. A mental reservation.