Surrogate Mother

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I once was approached by a couple who couldn’t have kids because the wife had her tubes tied after having three kids. They asked me if I can be a surrogate mother to them, meaning their egg and sperm be planted in me. I myself never wanted to do something like that because I could get attatched to it. What is the Church’s teachings on it?
 
The Catechism is such a handy reference for these questions, every Catholic should get one!

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2376.htm

**2376 **Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child’s right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses’ “right to become a father and a mother only through each other.”
 
It is a mortal sin against the sixth commandment. From the catechism:

2376 Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child’s right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses’ “right to become a father and a mother only through each other.”
 
This procedure would involve IVF, which the Church condemns.

Consider this: Abraham and Sarah had what today would be called a “surrogate mother” agreement with Hagar–and just look at all the trouble it caused and is still causing!
 
On a side note, they should probably look into reversal surgery. There is a big demand for this and a lot of advances have been made.
 
Ditto to all the points brought up by the previous posters.
Talk about a distortion of the gift of fertility and the gift of life. The removal of martial intimacy from procreation really scares me. It kind of objectifies babies if you think about it - to think they should be created on our whim, not God’s. I think it speaks about our contraceptive culture - the martial union is so far removed from the idea of creating life that recreating the act in a test tube is fine.
It is so sad to me that so many children are aborted every day in the world, and yet we have people using unnatural ways of conception. It’s a constant revolving door of contracepting, killing, and then turning around and creating apart from the act itself. Bizarre really.
Aside from telling them to look into reversal surgery…why not look into adoption?
I might sound very harsh and condemning but, I am just really disturbed by this whole trend :o
 
I agree with Mia, you might suggest adoption to them. If they can afford to find a surrogate, they can probably afford adoption.
 
Hi, Looks like no one has been on here for awhile, but I’ll ask anyways and see what happens…

A friend of mine who I car pool with in the mornings told me she has some friends who have been trying to have a baby for a long time with no success. She mentioned that she would consider being a surrogate mother for them. I tried to explain the best I could. (I’m a new 3 1/2 year Catholic, so I’m still a baby Catholic) I told her how a married Husband and wife are joined as one flesh and if she became a surrogate she would be involving herself into that bond, which is not what a marriage is about. She didn’t quite get what I was talking about. She doesn’t see a problem with helping people who want a baby, because she thinks God would want them to have a baby in whatever means possible. She is a non Catholic and a luke warm (secular minded) Christian. Does anyone have any ideas for how to explain this to her? Thanks!!!
 
IrishCanuck said:
Hi, Looks like no one has been on here for awhile, but I’ll ask anyways and see what happens…

A friend of mine who I car pool with in the mornings told me she has some friends who have been trying to have a baby for a long time with no success. She mentioned that she would consider being a surrogate mother for them. I tried to explain the best I could. (I’m a new 3 1/2 year Catholic, so I’m still a baby Catholic) I told her how a married Husband and wife are joined as one flesh and if she became a surrogate she would be involving herself into that bond, which is not what a marriage is about. She didn’t quite get what I was talking about. She doesn’t see a problem with helping people who want a baby, because she thinks God would want them to have a baby in whatever means possible. She is a non Catholic and a luke warm (secular minded) Christian. Does anyone have any ideas for how to explain this to her? Thanks!!!
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My former next door neighbor felt the same way as your friend, despite being Catholic. She went ahead and did it and it was a terrible experience. The sense of ownership and entitlement from the couple she acted as surrogate for was frightening. She had complications and required bed rest and all she got was threats from them about how nothing had better happen to their baby. She eventually deliverd twins prematurely and they were pretty angry with her that it didn’t go to term.

IVF and surrogacy approach the child as if he or she is an entitlement, not a miracle, and not a gift from God.
 
aliciar said:
I once was approached by a couple who couldn’t have kids because the wife had her tubes tied after having three kids. They asked me if I can be a surrogate mother to them, meaning their egg and sperm be planted in me. I myself never wanted to do something like that because I could get attatched to it. What is the Church’s teachings on it?
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Short answer: no.
Long answer: no.
 
Hello dulcissima,

Thanks for your quick response! and thanks for sharing your story. I have read about the entitlement vs gift. I was thinking of a way to explain this to her. Wow, your story tells me how much something so beautiful as the gift of a child can be twisted and messed up when we try to manipulate it for our own selfish needs, even though your friend was doing it out of her own compassion. I’m sorry to hear this happened to your friend, and I hope she learned that she was going against God’s will. My prayers are with her. Thanks for helping me! 🙂
 
dulcissima said:
My former next door neighbor felt the same way as your friend, despite being Catholic. She went ahead and did it and it was a terrible experience. The sense of ownership and entitlement from the couple she acted as surrogate for was frightening. She had complications and required bed rest and all she got was threats from them about how nothing had better happen to their baby. She eventually deliverd twins prematurely and they were pretty angry with her that it didn’t go to term.

IVF and surrogacy approach the child as if he or she is an entitlement, not a miracle, and not a gift from God.
Click to expand...
And some of this stuff is why one shouldn’t do it. To me, IVF and surrogacy is too much like playing God, IMHO.
 
hey ComputerGeek25,

This is off topic, but I was curious about your bottom foot note statement saying “Obama lied” What are you referring too?
 
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