I’m so sorry for your loss. It isn’t fair, you are right. Even if adoption was an option, and even if you felt optimistic about having other children, it is STILL hard to cope with the loss of a baby. But I understand that you are not just grieving this baby, but grieving your own expectations of how life was supposed to be.
I miscarried in my first pregnancy, and while my doctors believed that I would be able to have chidlren, with my only experience being loss, I was really scared about infertility and what it would mean for my life. I have since had children, and I am experiencing another loss now, and while I don’t fear infertility, I do fear other things, and there is still that grief. It is hard.
I don’t know if this will help you or not, but I love the Footprints in the Sand poem:
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”
As simple and cliche as it may seem, that imagery helps me a lot with my suffering. In the middle of it, we don’t always see how God is with us, carrying us, but I do believe that he is. In some way - maybe in a completely unexpected way - maybe in a way that won’t be clear until some time in the future. Clinging to that helps me to either see some of they ways He is helping me, or helps me to maintain a faith when it is so hard.
But you need to grive. First off, there is the grieving of this baby. It has helped me to name my babies. Some people are helped by burying the remains of their baby if they are able to retain them. Often times you can’t do that, and that’s ok too. But it is helpful to have some sort of closure. There are prayers for miscarriage (I think EWTN has one) that you can say - I had a personal little prayer ceremony at home, in which I said a prayer like this, and named the baby, and offered its soul to God. There is also a Book of Life at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents in a church in New York City:
innocents.com/shrine.asphttp:// You can enter your baby’s name on the website, and it will be entered into this book. Masses are said for the babies whose names are in the book of life, and you will receive a certificate with your baby’s name on it. I did that the first time, and will be doing it again.
Then there is the coping with the future. I would encourage you to look into the Gianna Centers that use NaPro technology, if you haven’t already - they do offer a somewhat unique perspective on fertility, so it might be worth a look, or a phone call. They do long distance phone appointments (recently used them myself that way). Perhaps every stone that can be turned already has. I guess I would say to bring what you can bring, to God. Your faith is weak? That’s ok, it can be week. You are angry? Bring it to Him. You feel unable to pray? That’s ok, tell Him that, and ask other people to pray for you. Let those who are not struggling support you with their prayers. You came to the right place for that, by the way - maybe in the prayer forum too. I don’t really have the answer to coping with the fears or realities of infertility. For me, it was a fear, not a reality, but the fear allowed me to examine my life and think about what I needed to change in my life to make it more fulfilling and more happy, aside from having a baby. Maybe there is someone older who does not have children, who can speak to the way to cope with and find happiness and meaning in life after infertility. I am certain that God is with you and has a beautiful plan for your life. I will pray for you and your little one, and I will especially pray for your comfort and peace.
. Forget what others say they only say that out of ignorance. No person who has ever gone through child loss would dare say such things, unless of course they don’t value that their loss was one of precious human life and theirs to boot! 
I will pray for you dear! Hang in there!