"Swear or affirm"

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Veronica97

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Our license plates expire this month, so I went online to the license bureau to try to check up on what I had ordered. My husband works out of town a lot and he knew that I was taking care of this. The problem is that 3 out of 4 vehicles are in his name only, which means I had to sign up as though I were him and then when I logged in, a message came up that said, “I swear or affirm that I am this person.” Well, I don’t like the word “swear” and I hesitated because I am not that person. But then I reasoned I am doing no harm and I have my husband’s permission to take care of this task. He barely knows how to do anything on the computer. But now I keep thinking that I might have sworn a false oath, which is a mortal sin. What do you think?
 
Not what you were asking…

You need to have a Power of Attorney that states you can take your husband’s place in all manners. It is very important especially if he is away a lot.

Then anytime you need to sign his name you write, “Bob Smith, by Mary Smith, by Power of Attorney.”

In the case on the computer, there would be no way to sign all that, but just mark his name.

On your next purchase of a vehicle make sure it says “Bob Smith OR Mary Smith”.

No mortal sin in taking care of your obligation to the state on your car responsibilites, even though you are not your husband and that was the only way to renew your tags on line.
 
I would think the whole “one flesh” thing would cover that.
 
superamazingman said:
I would think the whole “one flesh” thing would cover that.
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I’m with superamazingman;. You were acting on his behalf, as his “better half.” 🙂

Legally, I don’t know if the husband can sue but if he does he may as well because there would be no marriage there. :nope:

Alan
 
AlanFromWichita said:
I’m with superamazingman;. You were acting on his behalf, as his “better half.” 🙂

Legally, I don’t know if the husband can sue but if he does he may as well because there would be no marriage there. :nope:

Alan
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I know my parents sign for each other all the time without that whole “N power of attorney N” stuff.

Of course, set up joint accounts from now on, just to keep it simple.

Honestly, you hit it perfectly there. If the husband and wife can’t work it out where they are either 1) fine with signing for each other, 2) able to work it out on their own, then there’s much more serious problems than the legal implications…
 
All that said, after 25 years of marriage my wife and I finally got on legalzoom.com and made up our wills, living will/durable medical POA, and POA for property. It cost a little over $250 for both of us. We already got them in the mail; just need to take them to a notary now.

It was really pretty easy.

Alan
 
I’m not really thinking that ordering and checking on the license plates is a sin (I think my name is actually on 2 of the 4 vehicles), and I know my husband was fine with it. What is upsetting me is the fact that I agreed to “swear or affirm” that I was my husband. And making false oaths is grave matter on an examination of conscience. That’s what I’m really concerned about–that I have offended God by swearing a false oath.
 
Veronica97 said:
What is upsetting me is the fact that I agreed to “swear or affirm” that I was my husband. And making false oaths is grave matter on an examination of conscience. That’s what I’m really concerned about–that I have offended God by swearing a false oath.
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You were him as far as the law needed to know. And unless he didn’t want you to do it and you did it anyway, then I see it as an issue of law, not morality.

Alan
 
And making false oaths is grave matter on an examination of conscience. That’s what I’m really concerned about–that I have offended God by swearing a false oath.

You were not making a sworn oath that is spreading falsehoods.

God expects you to take care of the legal obligations of your household. You did that. To not take care of your legal obligations and to drive with expired tags would not be proper. To ignor the law of having current tags because you are not your husband, would not be a good thing to do.

Think about it - would God want you to break the law by having expired tags because you aren’t your husband and the computer only gave you that option to check in renewing your tags?

The reason I suggest you have a Power of Attorney, is that sometimes people/businesses will refuse to accept doing business with you without it. I have run into this situation a lot, but the PoA always allows me to do anything I need.
 
RoseMary131 said:
Think about it - would God want you to break the law by having expired tags because you aren’t your husband and the computer only gave you that option to check in renewing your tags?
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Well, I guess I could have ordered the license plates through the mail–simply written the BMV a check. No sworn statement would have been required that way. I could have also called and entered a phone access code. But I thought internet would be quickest/easiest. And since I had already ordered them online to begin with, I thought it would be easier to check on the status online (because two of the license plate stickers had come in the mail but two of them hadn’t come yet and I was getting concerned.) I guess next year I’ll just mail a check and avoid the whole dilemma.
 
superamazingman said:
I would think the whole “one flesh” thing would cover that.
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In business law it doesn’t. Legally speaking, a husband and wife can’t use each other’s credit cards-even if it’s a shared account. Each must have their own card with their name on it.

To the OP: Yes, you swore or affirmed a false oath.
 
Do you have a spiritual director who could help you with this stuggle? I think it is perfectly fine that you took care of the matter over the internet. I don’t think it was a sin.

If my mother would have asked me to take care of her business over the internet for her, I would have also clicked that I was her because I would have been acting on her behave.
 
RoseMary131 said:
Do you have a spiritual director who could help you with this stuggle? I think it is perfectly fine that you took care of the matter over the internet. I don’t think it was a sin.

If my mother would have asked me to take care of her business over the internet for her, I would have also clicked that I was her because I would have been acting on her behave.
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Thanks. I don’t have a spiritual director, but now that I’ve heard from even one poster that I may be in mortal sin, I feel the need to go to Confession tomorrow. I have been a Catholic for 15 years but 16 months ago I had a “reversion” experience which caused me to reexamine my life. For many years I neglected to form my conscience properly, did not accept all of the Church’s teachings, and had not gone to Confession in at least 7 years. Now that I am trying my best to follow Church teachings and get closer to the Lord, I find I don’t have peace for very long. I am always wondering, “Is this a sin?” or “Is this a mortal sin?” I am still confessing sins from years ago that keep coming to mind, even though I go to Confession once a month or (usually) more often and go to Mass several times a week. My worst nightmare is to be in a state of mortal sin and risk going to Hell. I just went to Confession two days ago, but it looks like I’ll be going again tomorrow. 😦
 
Veronica97 said:
Thanks. I don’t have a spiritual director, but now that I’ve heard from even one poster that I may be in mortal sin, I feel the need to go to Confession tomorrow. I have been a Catholic for 15 years but 16 months ago I had a “reversion” experience which caused me to reexamine my life. For many years I neglected to form my conscience properly, did not accept all of the Church’s teachings, and had not gone to Confession in at least 7 years. Now that I am trying my best to follow Church teachings and get closer to the Lord, I find I don’t have peace for very long. I am always wondering, “Is this a sin?” or “Is this a mortal sin?” I am still confessing sins from years ago that keep coming to mind, even though I go to Confession once a month or (usually) more often and go to Mass several times a week. My worst nightmare is to be in a state of mortal sin and risk going to Hell. I just went to Confession two days ago, but it looks like I’ll be going again tomorrow. 😦
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You should bring this up when you go to confession and see what the priest thinks about it.
 
I agree with Superamazingman. Tell Father what you told us. You need to make sure the priest knows at confession that you suffer from scrupulosity. If you go to different priests for the sacrament, each of them needs to know this lack of being able to know what is a sin and the pain you go through each time you think you may have sinned.

Maybe the Scrupulosity group here can be a place of comfort for you.

When you go to Confession at the end of your confession you should say something like “For these and all my sins, I am sorry.” The priests then absolves you…of everything… everything… every sin. Your soul has no more sins.

You have to place Trust in God not in yourself.

Scrupulisty may be placing so much on our own shoulder like how our Dear and Merciful God is like a game show when He judges our soul…sorry, you forgot to push the blue button…you may not pass Go, you are doomed to Hell. That’s putting trust in ourselves, not trust that God understands what we meant and we meant to follow Him.

You need help from a Spiritual Director or doctor or therapist who can guide you. Coming back more strongly to follow your faith should not bring you so much pain.

God is all merciful and just. He allows people to go to Hell who choose that path. He knows in your heart that you are trying to live a good life. He knows you are sorry for the times you didn’t follow Church teachings. He knows how much you want to live following His teachings. You are not choosing to turn your back on God.

Trust in God.

Make an appointment for your confession. If your parish only offers a short time for confession, you should take more time by making an appointment. Father needs to understand exactly what you wrote in your message. Then you need to be able to explain why you think you may have committed a mortal sin when you renewed on line under your husband’s name while he was out of town. God would not send you to Hell for such a thing. Please, please, be at peace. I will pray for you.
 
Veronica97 said:
I am always wondering, “Is this a sin?” or “Is this a mortal sin?” I am still confessing sins from years ago that keep coming to mind, even though I go to Confession once a month or (usually) more often and go to Mass several times a week. My worst nightmare is to be in a state of mortal sin and risk going to Hell. I just went to Confession two days ago, but it looks like I’ll be going again tomorrow. 😦
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It is not faith to keep confessing the same sins. It is worry and anxiety to worry about a mortal sin. Mortal sin requires FULL KNOWLEDGE AND CONSENT, which you obviously did not have in this case. Note that the poster said you affirmed a false oath (with which I disagree) but the poster did NOT say it was a mortal sin. Because it wasn’t.

And you know what, if Jesus is going to strike you down for something this stupidly innocent, it’s not the Jesus that I know and I wouldn’t follow such a person. So yes, if the Lord takes you down for this, then He can just take me with you. Maybe that doesn’t make you feel any better, but I want you to know how strongly I feel about it.

http://www.solarfeeds.com/wp-content/uploads/got-your-back.jpg

I can tell you this much; if I asked my wife to do that for me and she didn’t get it done because she didn’t want to represent herself as me, I’d say she was the one with the problem and I would seek ways to help her get over herself.

If you get enough lawyers in a room, one will find a way to say you’re sinning just to be there and breathing.

Alan
 
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