Swearing in head

[Veronica97]

First, I should say my OCD/scrupulosity has been improving–that is, until yesterday. On Saturday I went and made a good confession and I felt “light” and “joyful”. Then Sunday morning I was playing Farmville, and I clicked on something that took several seconds to open. Two swear words popped into my mind but I didn’t say them outloud. In fact, after I “thought” them, I said to myself, “No, I would never take the Lord’s name in vain.” I didn’t think much of it at first, but then I became upset thinking I may have sinned mortally. It occurred to me that perhaps the devil was trying a new strategy. He can’t make me deliberately do something gravely sinful, he can’t make me dwell on impure thoughts because I put them out of my mind quickly and say a little prayer. You can put impure thoughts out of your mind but how can you put swear words out of your mind? Once you’ve said them (even in your mind) you’ve said them. I went ahead and went to Communion later in the day b/c I was telling myself, “You’re being scrupulous.” But now I just keep turning it over and over in my mind…did I mean to take the Lord’s name in vain or didn’t I? Does it count if I didn’t say it out loud? It seemed like I “said” them so deliberately and slowly in my mind, and yet I immediately told myself afterward I would never say that. Does anyone have any advice for me?

 

[DexUK]

No. You didn’t sin, because you didn’t assent to the ‘swears’. They popped into your mind unbidden because once we know such a word, we can’t un-know it or un-know the contexts in which others might use it.

All other things being equal, I am sure that in and of itself, if you were in a state of grace beforehand, you remain in it now.

Be at peace.

 

[Veronica97]

Thank you. Then of course rehashing it causes the words to pop into my head over and over again and each time I think, “Did I just think that deliberately?”

 

[DexUK]

Don’t worry about that either. Again, it’s not that you’re deliberately blaspheming, it’s that you’re thinking about the concept of blaspheming and thereby considering an example of it, which is very different. You’re clearly not deliberately and wilfully swearing/blaspheming for the sake of it.

It’s like a tune that gets into your head and goes round and round (the Germans have a word for it that literally translates as an ‘ear worm’!)… You just need to distract yourself and go on to think other thoughts and stop concentrating on this one.

Put on some music, watch the TV, find a Youtube video of kittens, I’m sure there’s something that’ll divert you

 

[liftupyourheart]

Hi, used to have that, until my husband told me that because I’m scrupulous I am scared of offending God and I tend to obsess about the very thing I’m scared off. I had the swearing repeating over and over again. It’s not because I WANTED to offend God, it was because somebody around me used to swear all the time and it really disturbed me. My OCD made me concentrate on it and obsess over it. I let it go and it went.

 

[RoseMary131]

Thank you. Then of course rehashing it causes the words to pop into my head over and over again and each time I think, “Did I just think that deliberately?”

You know its the cycle of OCD/ scrupulosity… that’s how the cycle works…

You know you need to follow the advise of your spiritual adviser / confessor and /or therapist.

… you know its a mental condition…

May you seek help where you should seek help… with your priest and therapist or doctor.

You might ask your doctor, therapist, priest… if you should seek help from internet forums. My guess is… seek professional help… not internet help.

May God give you the strength to seek professional help and continue with their help.

Peace to you Dearest Veronica.