Swearing

[E_7]

Yes, but what does your husband think of men who swear.

It’s odd that you are genderizing this. You comment on the attractiveness if men and your husband comments on the attractiveness of women.

Why is this a sex issue in your view?

I will say that your husbands view is something my wife has had to battle against in the science world and business world.

Sometimes when my wife is negotiating a multi million dollar contract with 9 other men on the room she has to say, " gee Bob, we love your quote but you really beeped us over on the last contract, how can we make sure you know your bleep this time…"

He already answered.

My husband and I are from the “science world and business world” and we personally find that any person, male or female, of any “world” looks ugly and unattractive when they swear. It just looks bad to us. And that doesn’t mean that we have never said a swear. The first time it slipped me he said " don’t swear because it looks ugly and unattractive." .

 

[XenaFan]

Admittedly, I have not always have the cleanest language. And another thing is, I never really was too upset about it. However, I have often made a conscious effort over the years to use better ways to express myself.

Also, it never really offended me to hear others use profanity. It really didn’t. However, lately I have been noticing that it does bother me. Oddly enough, what bothers me the most is there is this one girl at work who will use the F word in the office. The first time she did it, I almost fell over. I have heard it in private quiet conversations before. However, this is not a young kid. She has kids in their 20s. And she will use it in the cafeteria or in the office space with no regard for who can over hear her. I think what offends me the most, is she isn’t even angry when she uses it. If she just dropped something heavy on her foot or spilled coffee on herself, it would almost appear normal (although still sinful). However for her to use it so casually just turns my gut inside out. And the worst thing is, she is actually a very nice and pleasant person.

It is also to the point, if I am driving alone in my car, songs I use to like (ACDC, Mick Jagger), when I now hear them, I switch the radio station because the language offends me.

So just curious, how do others feel when they hear swearing?

Angie

In my experience someone who doesn’t swear is usually because they are socially awkward and/or have very poor social skills. Knowing that there are some situations where swearing is appropriate and even appreciated is a sign of maturity.

 

[Patavium]

Yes, but what does your husband think of men who swear.

It’s odd that you are genderizing this. You comment on the attractiveness if men and your husband comments on the attractiveness of women.

Why is this a sex issue in your view?

I will say that your husbands view is something my wife has had to battle against in the science world and business world.

Sometimes when my wife is negotiating a multi million dollar contract with 9 other men on the room she has to say, " gee Bob, we love your quote but you really beeped us over on the last contract, how can we make sure you know your bleep this time…"

Gee, I’ve worked in multi-million projects and I haven’t had to swear to negotiate them at all. Plain speaking does the job.

 

[Patavium]

In my experience someone who doesn’t swear is usually because they are socially awkward and/or have very poor social skills. Knowing that there are some situations where swearing is appropriate and even appreciated is a sign of maturity.

Your experience is reflective of your surroundings, your lifestyle, and you in general.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Gee, I’ve worked in multi-million projects and I haven’t had to swear to negotiate them at all. Plain speaking does the job.

Must be different projects…

I’d say my wife averages 5-10 meetings a day. Almost all of them involve some salty language. And if construction people are involved fuhgettabouit…

I will also note that the most prestigious and presidential job in the world is occupied by a rather good looking highly educated man who drops a lot of f bombs.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

This is a great article!

content.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1995258,00.html

 

[Millie123]

I will also note that the most prestigious and presidential job in the world is occupied by a rather good looking highly educated man who drops a lot of f bombs.

I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For me personally, I think attractiveness is more than skin deep. Between Obama’s lack of protection for human life, lack of protection of marriage, and now as you point out, his profanity. I find Obama to be extermely unattractive.

But on the other hand, take Mother Theresa, Wow…what an exceptional beauty. But, to me Obama is blech

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For me personally, I think attractiveness is more than skin deep. Between Obama’s lack of protection for human life, lack of protection of marriage, and now as you point out, his profanity. I find Obama to be extermely unattractive.

But on the other hand, take Mother Theresa, Wow…what an exceptional beauty. But, to me Obama is blech

That is very true! It isn’t the swear words. The pro life republican presidents are just as bad.

I don’t want to give the impression I have proof but I’m sure I read or heard somewhere mother Angelica having a vocabulary… And I’m not sure there are a thousand puppies cuter than mother Angelica!!!
For sure father Larry Richards does!

 

[Millie123]

That is very true! It isn’t the swear words. The pro life republican presidents are just as bad.

I don’t want to give the impression I have proof but I’m sure I read or heard somewhere mother Angelica having a vocabulary… And I’m not sure there are a thousand puppies cuter than mother Angelica!!!
For sure father Larry Richards does!

I personally find the crassness and profanity of the Republican candidates as being ugly and unattractive too. Like when Rubio crassly made inuendos regarding Trumps manhood. In my eyes at that time that was very ugly and unattractive…

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I personally find the crassness and profanity of the Republican candidates as being ugly and unattractive too. Like when Rubio crassly made inuendos regarding Trumps manhood. In my eyes at that time that was very ugly and unattractive…

Perhaps, but Rubio was by far the best looking candidate!

I’m sure you won’t find a clean mouthed polititian.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Here is the real Mike dropper.

The pope apparently taught his godson some language

This story has been hijacked by some anti pope websites hat I don’t want to link to here or give any traffic to but here is one website that wasn’t too bad.
deadpresidents.tumblr.com/post/70654628106/according-to-his-sister-maria-elena-bergoglio

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Gee, I’ve worked in multi-million projects and I haven’t had to swear to negotiate them at all. Plain speaking does the job.

We have a handful of executives who make a habit of swearing. We also have a few who are known for their level heads and refusal to resort to insults or swearing. I’ll let you guess which ones get the most results and who everyone respects and enjoys working with the most.

 

[AbideWithMe]

No, there’s no objective reason that those combinations of sounds together are offensive. But when you’re in a culture that regards those words as offensive, you’re still choosing to broadcast a message if you use those words.

Etiquette and social niceties are a demonstration of respect, even if they vary across language and culture. Refusing to learn or abide by them is going to be read as disrespectful, and rightly so. People who say these words don’t come up with them on their own. They say them, at least at the beginning, to be subversive.

Brilliantly said.

I find swearing disrespectful and downright ugly in men or women, and ungentlemanly in men in particular.

It’s not always from a lack of self control. In some cases young people swear initially to be subversive or to try to appear more grown up than they actually are. Sometimes adult leaders swear in a calculated way to try to pander to their audience. Yuck. Self confident and self content people can watch their words and speak plainly without swearing either out of loss of control or in a calculated way.

 

[AbideWithMe]

We have a handful of executives who make a habit of swearing. We also have a few who are known for their level heads and refusal to resort to insults or swearing. I’ll let you guess which ones get the most results and who everyone respects and enjoys working with the most.

 

[mommy_k]

In my experience someone who doesn’t swear is usually because they are socially awkward and/or have very poor social skills. Knowing that there are some situations where swearing is appropriate and even appreciated is a sign of maturity.

Hahaha. I am far from socially awkward, and have pretty solid social skills and have alot of friends. I can stop potty mouth in a split second a humorous way when someone starts–and do this without offending…can you?

 

[EasterJoy]

Hahaha. I am far from socially awkward, and have pretty solid social skills and have alot of friends. I can stop potty mouth in a split second a humorous way when someone starts–and do this without offending…can you?

Your experience says “yes,” and I don’t doubt you, but* n *is not a large number and may not take neurology into account.

First off, you cannot guarantee you won’t offend someone by language you “stop in a split second,” if it is a split second after you start. In my mind, this falls in the category of respect and not tempting others to rash judgment.

Secondly, expletives are processed by your brain differently than conscious language. I have seen stroke victims who cannot talk get frustrated and very clearly blurt out an expletive. Why? Because the two kinds of verbalization come to the vocal muscles via different neurological routes. One is under your control. The other one? Far less so.

This is why it is better if you do not rehearse “automatic” language in your mind that you don’t want to blurt out at the wrong time.

 

[mommy_k]

Your experience says “yes,” and I don’t doubt you, but* n *is not a large number and may not take neurology into account.

First off, you cannot guarantee you won’t offend someone by language you “stop in a split second,” if it is a split second after you start. In my mind, this falls in the category of respect and not tempting others to rash judgment.

Secondly, expletives are processed by your brain differently than conscious language. I have seen stroke victims who cannot talk get frustrated and very clearly blurt out an expletive. Why? Because the two kinds of verbalization come to the vocal muscles via different neurological routes. One is under your control. The other one? Far less so.

This is why it is better if you do not rehearse “automatic” language in your mind that you don’t want to blurt out at the wrong time.

All it takes is saying- "stop with the potty mouth jack , my toes just curled up, or something similar. Then I laugh and smile.

I have yet to lose a friend or rub a coworker or even a boss the wrong way with this. All in fun, but they respect that I don’t have to listen to words I find offensive.

Edited to add: of course this is the scope of daily relationships, and social skills. I replied to the poster who stated using bad language with the incorrect assumption that only people with poor or nonexistent social skills avoid bad language.

Of course I would have understanding for someone who can not control this, and adapt.

 

[AbideWithMe]

Your experience says “yes,” and I don’t doubt you, but* n *is not a large number and may not take neurology into account.

First off, you cannot guarantee you won’t offend someone by language you “stop in a split second,” if it is a split second after you start. In my mind, this falls in the category of respect and not tempting others to rash judgment.

Secondly, expletives are processed by your brain differently than conscious language. I have seen stroke victims who cannot talk get frustrated and very clearly blurt out an expletive. Why? Because the two kinds of verbalization come to the vocal muscles via different neurological routes. One is under your control. The other one? Far less so.

This is why it is better if you do not rehearse “automatic” language in your mind that you don’t want to blurt out at the wrong time.

I think Mommy K is saying she can inoffensively stop someone else who is cursing, not that she is cursing herself?

 

[mommy_k]

I think Mommy K is saying she can inoffensively stop someone else who is cursing, not that she is cursing herself?

Yes. I dont curse or swear.

Easter joy was pointing out that there are some neurological issues that cause certain people to use expletives, and it is uncontrolled. For someone to stop them or take offense would not be appropriate in these cases.
And this is correct

The error imho, is that poster who stated that those who do not swear or use curse words are socially stunted and less mature then those who do.

 

[EasterJoy]

All it takes is saying- "stop with the potty mouth jack , my toes just curled up, or something similar. Then I laugh and smile.

I have yet to lose a friend or rub a coworker or even a boss the wrong way with this. All in fun, but they respect that I don’t have to listen to words I find offensive.

Edited to add: of course this is the scope of daily relationships, and social skills. I replied to the poster who stated using bad language with the incorrect assumption that only people with poor or nonexistent social skills avoid bad language.

Of course I would have understanding for someone who can not control this, and adapt.

At work, you have more standing, because of course you do not have to ask nicely for someone to stop with the hostile work environment. Asking nicely is a favor. I have heard people refer to a co-worker who didn’t use or approve of foul language as “Aunt Bea” (after the Mayberry, RFD character), but that was many years ago. There are few professional situations where anyone but an idiot thinks he can get away with that. They might resent it, but they know the rules are on the side of someone who doesn’t want to have a verbal sewer rushing around them.

By not being able to control it, I meant that a normal person will sometimes blurt something regrettable out at the worst possible time, especially if they use foul language habitually. Some people who have had strokes unfortunately find they cannot say anything intelligible *except *those things they blurt out without a thought. (It is very frustrating to only be able to say what you *didn’t intend *to say, as you may imagine!)

I misunderstood that you were saying *you *could swear and get yourself out of the issue of having offended someone with your charm, not that you use charm to get people to agree to return to civilization. Yes, I’d say that in most places you (in your actual situation of hearing it rather than using it) are likely to run into foul language, most people will dial it down if it isn’t going over well. Not everywhere, some will openly give you a “well, la-dee-da, aren’t we Miss Manners?” but that is pretty rare. Foul language may be as common as dirt in the big wide world, but it is not professional.