Switching schools?

[ichen]

I need some advice on a difficult choice I have to make; which high school to go to next year. I’m a freshman and have been going to the same private school since 6th grade. What brought along this change is that my brother is leaving for college next year, and the added cost of college and a private school would take a huge toll on my parents.

But, it isn’t as easy as which school is cheaper. My parents have basically, told me, I’m the one who’s going to make the decision, they told me not to consider the money as they will find a way to pay for it. They also said to well, figure out which school God wants me to go to. I’m really troubled, I have no idea which school.

My current school has 500 kids and like I said is a 6-12 private school. I love the place, I know everyone, and it’s a small, cozy environment. The teachers are all extremely nice, and there is a close teacher-student bond. Since the school is so small, people are really accepting, there aren’t defined cliques, and you have a higher chance of being able to do things( no cuts from teams, getting a good role in plays etc.). The only downside is that the school is very liberal.

The other school is the local public school. It’s got almost 3,000 kids and I know…a handful of them at the least. I never went to a public school and so missed out on getting to know everyone. Being a bigger school, it has more opportunities, but limited space, people get cut from sport teams, have a less chance at getting a lead role. I’m terrified of going there basically.

I had prepared myself to accept the fact I would change schools, and just go with whatever my parents picked, but now they’ve in my opinion shoved the choice onto me. I’m afraid I’ll choose wrong, that it won’t be where God wants me to go. I need some advice. Sorry for the long post.

 

[yearofthelord]

My dear ichen,

You must be a very mature young person for your parents to allow you to make this decision. Let me give you some additional information.

If your brother was also attending private high school, the additional cost of college may not be much. You might be surprised, but a public university is about the same cost as a private high school. So, cost may not be the major issue in the decision.

I attended a small Catholic high school and although I received a great education, I was lost when I attended a large public university far from home. So, if you stay at your small high school and plan to attend college away from home, try to get some experiences where you will be able to learn to make decisions while still being guided by your parents.

If you do attend the public school, you will face many challages to your beliefs and values. Ask your parents to prepare you for this.

Finally, spend some time in private prayer and be open to hearing the voice of God directing your decision making.

May God bless and keep you.

 

[kevinsgirl]

If you were my child, I’d do my best to continue to send you to the school that you’re comfortable at provided you were getting a good education. I also wouldn’t make my child make this choice…

Oh and about your brother in college–I got tons of scholarships for college, so it may not be the incredible expense that you’re thinking it is. There are also lots of student loans available as well.

 

[EmBee]

Well, this is quite a personal decision, but you’ve asked for opinions, so here’s mine: the larger, public school. I think it will help you branch out of your comfort zone, force you to be more proactive meeting people and help you be more competitive. These are all things you will need for college and beyond. Larger schools may also have more resources for college - more teachers to write letters of recommendation, more scouts/recruiters looking at the sports teams, debate team, drama club, etc, and a wider selection of classes. Also, you mention that the private school is “very liberal,” which leads me to believe you could probably deal with the transition to a secular school well. Also, by spending some time in a public school vs. private school, you may very well decide what kind of college you would like to attend, too.

I hope you get some good advice on here (and in real life, too!). Best of luck with your decision

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[grandiosa]

Your parents have said they are willing to make the sacrifice financially for you to stay where you are if that is what you wish. So don’t feel any guilt about your decision, either way. They gave you the freedom, they know what it means… allow them their freedom of choice, too, and respect that they know what they are doing.

If the ONLY reason you are not going to the bigger public school is just fear, then that is not a healthy reason to reject it. However, you give many valid reasons for why you feel more comfortable at the small private school, and you really think there are more opportunities for you there. If that is where your heart is, then follow it.

I think the opposite of EmBee. Until you are forced out into the bigger world by adulthood, feel free to stay where you feel safer, more sheltered (not in a bad, naive way, but in the way you described, where you just feel right there), and where you think people know and value you as an individual. Your baseline level of self-worth and self-confidence are being formed over the next few years. That can be pivotal to how you face the challenges that will come in later life. I think feeling secure and being in a place where you can try out different talents and find where you fit, without the pressure of big school cuts, yelling coaches, state championships, cutthroat competition in the dramatic programs… is a good thing.

As long as you are not choosing the “safer” place only out of fear, but because of your belief that it is truly the better place for you, then I think it’s valid.

 

[EmBee]

I think feeling secure and being in a place where you can try out different talents and find where you fit, without the pressure of big school cuts, yelling coaches, state championships, **cutthroat competition **in the dramatic programs… is a good thing.

These are all very dramatic phrases, none of which the OP used explicitely. Perhaps they are true of this new, larger school, but neither of us knows that for sure.

As long as you are not choosing the “safer” place only out of fear, but because of your belief that it is truly the better place for you, then I think it’s valid.

100% agreed.

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[ichen]

Thank you all for the advice! I really appreciate it.

First off, the cost for both schools is pretty hefty, no matter which high school I go to, we’ll be needing loans. So…

grandiosa, while fear is a pretty big motive(as of now) to not going to the public school, I do have other concerns. One being the challenges to my faith. With so many students, I know that there will be lots of people who are very against my beliefs, in fact the majority will. (I live in a liberal town), but on the upside, I’ve heard from people(at my youth group, other youth groups) that there is a pretty solid Catholic group there. At my private school, though it is secular, people accept you anyways. They make you feel like family.

Another factor I’m considering is that at my current school, there is a really good public speaking program, there isn’t any public speaking program at the public school. Public speaking is sort of my “thing”, it’s my main interest and I well would in a way have to find a new one at the public school.

I know the public school isn’t horrible, it’s a great school. I know I will have many new opportunities, and be able to do many things I can’t at my current school. I’ll get over my fear of a big school eventually. But, I hold my current school very close to my heart. I don’t know what to base my decision on. Faith, academics, interests? They in a way, equal out.

 

[gardenswithkids]

I need some advice on a difficult choice I have to make; which high school to go to next year. I’m a freshman and have been going to the same private school since 6th grade. What brought along this change is that my brother is leaving for college next year, and the added cost of college and a private school would take a huge toll on my parents.

But, it isn’t as easy as which school is cheaper. My parents have basically, told me, I’m the one who’s going to make the decision, they told me not to consider the money as they will find a way to pay for it. They also said to well, figure out which school God wants me to go to. I’m really troubled, I have no idea which school.

My current school has 500 kids and like I said is a 6-12 private school. I love the place, I know everyone, and it’s a small, cozy environment. The teachers are all extremely nice, and there is a close teacher-student bond. Since the school is so small, people are really accepting, there aren’t defined cliques, and you have a higher chance of being able to do things( no cuts from teams, getting a good role in plays etc.). The only downside is that the school is very liberal.

The other school is the local public school. It’s got almost 3,000 kids and I know…a handful of them at the least. I never went to a public school and so missed out on getting to know everyone. Being a bigger school, it has more opportunities, but limited space, people get cut from sport teams, have a less chance at getting a lead role. I’m terrified of going there basically.

I had prepared myself to accept the fact I would change schools, and just go with whatever my parents picked, but now they’ve in my opinion shoved the choice onto me. I’m afraid I’ll choose wrong, that it won’t be where God wants me to go. I need some advice. Sorry for the long post.

What a difficult choice to make as a teenager.

Is it a Catholic high school? And when you say your school is very liberal, do you mean “liberal” in the sense of wanting to help the poor and oppressed, or do you mean it in the sense of promoting sins like abortion, premarital sex and homosexual acts? I would tend to favor a private Catholic high school unless it promotes sin and heresy.

I would also suggest you pray about the decision.

 

[ichen]

It isn’t a Catholic high school, it’s a secular private school.

I have prayed, and am praying. It’s just a pretty big weight,

 

[EmBee]

First off, the cost for both schools is pretty hefty, no matter which high school I go to, we’ll be needing loans. So…

Now I’m confused

Why is there a cost for the public high school?

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[ichen]

oh, I meant my brother’s college, and the private school. We did apply for scholarships/financial aid, but didn’t get much.

 

[EmBee]

oh, I meant my brother’s college, and the private school. We did apply for scholarships/financial aid, but didn’t get much.

Okay, that makes more sense. Try not to worry about the cost of your brother’s college. Your parents have made it clear that your decision should not be made based on money. If your parents were not willing & able to send you to private school and help support your brother while he is in college, they would not have offered to do either. Perhaps they will need to take out more loans, but that is something they have no doubt discussed with each other while looking at their financial situation. Let your parents worry about money, you need to worry about which school you feel more comfortable in and which you think will provide the best opportunities for you.

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