Taking a (paper) list of sins to Confession

[PennyinCanada]

And do not put your name on it either!

I prefer to put my husband’s name on it.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

With bullet points, for example. Does anyone do this? (If so, just out of curiosity, does the priest mind?)

I haven’t done this before, but it occurred to me a few days ago. I will be going to Confession today, and prior to that will write down the sins that come to mind. I want to do that, so as to not forget some, especially the ones most burdening my conscience. It can be surpringly easy to forget sins, especially if one has a really good confessor who offers great counseling (what has tended to happen, is I get very absorbed with examining the particular sin(s) that the counseling addresses, such that afterwards, even when I pause for a few moments to recollect what else I wanted to confess, it’s difficult to recall them on the spot).

My husband brought in a list that was at least 3 pages long for his first reconciliation…he didn’t want to leave anything out! It was so cute! (and no…I did not look at it). He shredded it immediately afterward. I use the app confession and it automatically asks for a password…which is good. I used it for the first time last night…seeemed to work pretty good. I still need to put in the venial sins that I normally fall into but I haven’t had the big of a chunk of time!

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I prefer to put my husband’s name on it.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Because nervousness makes me forgetful, I can forget even when I prepare well. However, making a list turns me into something too robotic (for my taste), and for me, the spontaneity is a key ingredient. Also, our confessionals are dark; I doubt I would be able to read anything without a book light. (There’s a light on his side, but it’s dark on the other side of the screen.)

So my compromise is this: I make a list and essentially memorize it (and try to set it up visually for easy memory). But I enter the confessional without the list (usually leaving it in the car or something.) And then usuaally, guided by the Spirit, my recital is more natural, while not necessarily being any less complete. I just feel it makes me more open to sacramental graces not to be focused on a phone or paper list. I really want to be open to what the priest has to say; I definitely look upon it as a two-way (Jesus through the priest, + me) experience. There’s something about the “nakedness” of that encounter that is more genuine to me. But that’s just me, and your mileage may vary.

(Like the difference between reading a speech, in which one is concentrating on the individual words) and speaking from a less verbatim preparation. One opens me to an encounter with the other party much more.

 

[Ana_v]

ok I got back from Confession recently, and I took the list I made with me. The bulk of the time in the confessional was spent addressing the first item on my list (the one I had been troubling over the most). After talking over that issue, my confessor asked me if I had other sins, and I went down the list to mention others, he offered some brief counseling, but, I was not able to finish saying all the sins on the list because (presumably for time’s sake) he interjected by saying, something to the effect of ’ I’m going to stop you there, for these sins and all other sins … ’ and then he said the words for absolution. Is this alright (in terms of the validity of the Confession)?

 

[MyJuliet]

This time, and the priest told me to file away, just to talk about I wrote him. I do not have my best paper, it’s all in the end. And eventually one or two things I forgot, but I mention them next time I text.

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[7_Sorrows]

i have not been Catholic that long, so i still get very nervous when i go to confession.
and i will confess to you all, that i don’t go as often as i should.
the first two confessions i made, i did take a list. i agree with the other poster, that i feel kind of robotic and i talk so fast. i am afraid to go without a list though, for fear i will totally lose my train of thought and freeze and not be able to say anything!!
the other night i was straightening out some files and i came across a pamphlet that i had
written my first confession notes on. i had not thought of destroying them after i said them.

 

[Jenniferolg]

I use my list of sins as a way to examine my conscience. I have them on a post-it note - the sins I am prone to commit - I go over them and see which ones I have commited and which I have avoided. I usually (thank God) don’t branch out into new ones very often. I take the post-it note in to confession with me. I doubt any one would be too shocked to see my list if it were to be discovered. I probably could ask my husband or one of my kids to make a list for me and they could be pretty accurate. When my children are getting ready for confession I sit with them and help jog their memories about the sins I have witnessed.

For the youth of our parish Father has provided a tri-fold examination of conscience. They will go over the list and highlight their sins and then take that with them to confession. Father approves of the practice. Some save them to use like I re-use my post-it note and some destroy theirs after confession.

 

[odile53]

You can do that, but generally speaking, I’ve found it most useful to just go in and confess “the usual sins,” writing down anything that I think I might forget in brief notes. Just the act of writing it down usually means I’m more likely to remember something.

But relax. The stuff you honestly forget is most likely not the big mortal sin stuff. And it’s covered when you say, “for these and all the sins that I cannot now recall I am truly sorry…” and when the priest grants you absolution. If you do happen to remember them, just confess them the next time. It’s not something to get yourself into a panic about. The ones that you deliberately conceal are the ones that aren’t forgiven until you make a good confession and confess them, too (plus the fact that you deliberately held back.) If it happens by accident, that’s a different story altogether.

 

[MissRose73]

I use the iConfess application instead on my phone, and used it when I went to Confession about a month ago, and found it helpful for me. I set a password for it and when I am done with confession, I delete that user name and start a new one. I did the screen version of confession, and I am pretty sure the priest never knew I was using an app on my new smart phone. The application may cost a few dollars but it is worthwhile as it helps you prepare your list of sins based on an examination of conscience that has basis in the 10 Commandments mainly.

 

[I_Thirst]

Perhaps you could go more often? If you have sinned so often between confessions that you can’t remember your mulititude of sins, maybe it is a sign that you could frequent the sacrament a bit more? If you already go weekly and feel that you have a mulititude of sins, maybe you should seek help for scrupulosity.

Lately, I’ve been going weekly and I don’t have any troubles recalling my sins. And, as others have mentioned, if you forget a few venial sins here and there they will be forgiven in due course of the sacrament (venial sins are also forgiven in other ways).

Also, I hope that those who seek “counseling” don’t do so during confession times. Nothing is more uncharitable than penitents having a session with the priest while a line waits outside. I know that some folks can only do this during this time, and that’s understandable.

Spiritual direction and/or counseling is a great thing, but it really needs its own appointment time. I know that some folks receive the sacrament of reconciliation during their spiritual direction/counseling sessions, but spritual direction/counseling isn’t necessarily an integral aspect of the sacrament of reconciliation.

In Fr. Dubay’s book, Deep Conversion/Deep Prayer, in chapter 10, “The Sacramental Dimension,” he has a great discussion on how to be brief, clear, and accurate (in fact, the subheading is entitled this) during the sacrament. Just a few pages later, he discusses why a pentitent should be brief. He offers fantastic insight, and I’d highly recommend it for anyone interesting in making better confessions.

 

[Mark1970]

With bullet points, for example. Does anyone do this? (If so, just out of curiosity, does the priest mind?)

I haven’t done this before, but it occurred to me a few days ago. I will be going to Confession today, and prior to that will write down the sins that come to mind. I want to do that, so as to not forget some, especially the ones most burdening my conscience. It can be surpringly easy to forget sins, especially if one has a really good confessor who offers great counseling (what has tended to happen, is I get very absorbed with examining the particular sin(s) that the counseling addresses, such that afterwards, even when I pause for a few moments to recollect what else I wanted to confess, it’s difficult to recall them on the spot).

I make out a list as well, mainly because I suffer from mild scrupulosity and always wonder afterwards about the sin’s I’ve forgotten. I usually list any mortal and/or embarrasing sins first to make sure I confess them, then the rest.

 

[CuriousInIL]

Perhaps I just don’t engage in the “right sins,” but I am thoroughly confused by the level of security that folks seem to think is needed for a list of sins. If the sins are also crimes, I get it. And, I also get why you wouldn’t put your name on it (but why would you even consider that, you know it’s your list)

Can someone help me understand?

 

[I_Thirst]

Perhaps I just don’t engage in the “right sins,” but I am thoroughly confused by the level of security that folks seem to think is needed for a list of sins. If the sins are also crimes, I get it. And, I also get why you wouldn’t put your name on it (but why would you even consider that, you know it’s your list)

Can someone help me understand?

That’s a good point, and I’ve wondered about the same thing after reading through some of these posts and threads like this.

I’d guess that this is some form of scrupulosity? Or perhaps it is pride?

 

[Hoernchen]

My brain tends to turn into a black hole during confession, I’m lucky to remember my own name during that time let alone any sins I would rather forget anyway!
So I have this little notebook where I write down anything I find during my dayly examination of conscience and any questions I might want to ask my confessor. This notebook I take with me to confession, not to read everything off it but rather to remind me what needs to be said next. I also have the act of contrition written on the first page as here in Germany it is not mandatory to say this prayer in confession so I never learned it by heart and my black hole wouldn’t let me remember it anyway.
Sometimes I use this book for my examination of conscience. Just looking at what I had to confess a few months ago, did I make any progress in this area or not, do I have to confess this again, which sins come up most often and need special effort to overcome, that sort of thing. I find that very helpful and my confessor incourages it. In fact I once got reprimanded for not bringing it as we both felt that I was not properly prepared.

 

[At_Trent]

first time I went to Confession after a long hiatus, I had to pop a disc into a laptop

 

[The_Rock]

Perhaps I just don’t engage in the “right sins,” but I am thoroughly confused by the level of security that folks seem to think is needed for a list of sins. If the sins are also crimes, I get it. And, I also get why you wouldn’t put your name on it (but why would you even consider that, you know it’s your list)

Can someone help me understand?

A concern would be for the reputation of the priest and the appearance that he had broken the Confessional seal. If someone else finds your list and starts telling others about your sins, someone may think that the priest has broken the Confessional seal. I never bring lists anymore partially because I don’t want anyone questioning the integrity of the Sacrament or the Confessor.

 

[Seatuck]

Perhaps I just don’t engage in the “right sins,” but I am thoroughly confused by the level of security that folks seem to think is needed for a list of sins. If the sins are also crimes, I get it. And, I also get why you wouldn’t put your name on it (but why would you even consider that, you know it’s your list)

Can someone help me understand?

I guess some people feel shame and guilt for their sins and that is a very painful and private matter. We should experience this for even venial sins. It’s not trivial matter to write down and leave lying around.

What if you confess to adultery and you leave the paper in your pants pocket and your daughter does the laundry for you wife and reads it accidentally? There’s a who bunch of scenarios where privacy could be violated and innocents could be hurt. That is where the level of secrecy comes from. Protecting privacy and innocents from being hurt.

 

[I_Thirst]

here in Germany it is not mandatory to say this prayer in confession

I know that in the US I’ve said it during confession, or sometimes the priest will tell to me make an act of contrition afterwards (but not during).

Is this what you mean?

 

[CuriousInIL]

I guess some people feel shame and guilt for their sins and that is a very painful and private matter. We should experience this for even venial sins. It’s not trivial matter to write down and leave lying around.

What if you confess to adultery and you leave the paper in your pants pocket and your daughter does the laundry for you wife and reads it accidentally? There’s a who bunch of scenarios where privacy could be violated and innocents could be hurt. That is where the level of secrecy comes from. Protecting privacy and innocents from being hurt.

I guess I am getting it a bit. I think shame and guilt are often good things. I get protecting innocents as well. However, most of the security tips seemed directed at making sure the list wasn’t left behind or lost, rather than found in a pants pocket.

It also does raise another issue. For those of you that have lists, how much detail do you use. Mine lists (puerly with hypothetical sins for this example) usually are something like:
Anger
Greed
5th, 7th, 9th commandments.

I certainly don’t want that found, and I get that if my wife finds it she may want to discuss some or be hurt, but if I just left that around and someone random finds it, no harm.

Regarding the “daughter does laundry” point: not a potential issue here.