Taking an oath

[Butaperson]

Alright so I’ve only been Catholic for 1.5ish years but I’ve considered myself a Christian since I was 11. When I was 11, I had a very poor understanding of anything. I knew chopped up bits and pieces of Catholicism and some general Protestant ideas from characters in books I had read, but I didn’t know the difference between anything, I thought there was one Christian religion and that was is, it was always the same.
Being a kid, I was under the impression that swearing is one of the worst things a person could do. I have a very vague memory of accidentally saying a swear word, freaking out and promising God not to swear ever again.
I don’t remember exactly because it was so long ago but I may have also tacked on a piece to the end “unless it turns out it’s not wrong” or something.
Anyways now I’m almost 17 and I understand that swearing can be sinful when used in an offensive, harmful context, but it doesn’t have to be. My parents have no problem with swearing, it’s just a form of language. As a teenager, swearing is a significant portion of all my peers’ casual vernacular.
I started out deciding not to swear at all, just in case what I said when I was 11 was binding, but more recently as I’ve slowly begun to care less and less, I’ve started cussing again, especially lately since normal “non-offensive” words have become insufficient to describe my life. IYO, have I committed the mortal sin of breaking a vow to God?

 

[pianistclare]

I don’t believe you even made a vow. You were a child, and you clearly did not understand the implications of a vow.
But swearing, cursing, cussin’, whatever you want to call it is not good.
It’s not just language.
Words have meaning. Remember “In the beginning was the Word…”
Our words have to power to heal, to uplift, to hurt, and to condemn.
You can’t take words back. You can apologize, or make light of something that slips out…but you can’t take them back. Not really.
Consider what cursing is. It’s a curse. When you say
D—m you…you are effectively wishing someone eternal damnation.
Not good. Not by a long shot. Strive to purge cursing form your own mouth, and hopefully your parents will do likewise. There’s really no swear word that makes a sentence clearer, or more important.
It’s just unnecessary and very bad form for Christians.
Peace.

 

[Inquiringperson]

Alright so I’ve only been Catholic for 1.5ish years but I’ve considered myself a Christian since I was 11. When I was 11, I had a very poor understanding of anything. I knew chopped up bits and pieces of Catholicism and some general Protestant ideas from characters in books I had read, but I didn’t know the difference between anything, I thought there was one Christian religion and that was is, it was always the same.
Being a kid, I was under the impression that swearing is one of the worst things a person could do. I have a very vague memory of accidentally saying a swear word, freaking out and promising God not to swear ever again.
I don’t remember exactly because it was so long ago but I may have also tacked on a piece to the end “unless it turns out it’s not wrong” or something.
Anyways now I’m almost 17 and I understand that swearing can be sinful when used in an offensive, harmful context, but it doesn’t have to be. My parents have no problem with swearing, it’s just a form of language. As a teenager, swearing is a significant portion of all my peers’ casual vernacular.
I started out deciding not to swear at all, just in case what I said when I was 11 was binding, but more recently as I’ve slowly begun to care less and less, I’ve started cussing again, especially lately since normal “non-offensive” words have become insufficient to describe my life. IYO, have I committed the mortal sin of breaking a vow to God?

After Mass, talk to your pastor about this.

 

[Butaperson]

After Mass, talk to your pastor about this.

I know this is the clearest answer but the thing is, I don’t really have “a pastor”. I go to a different church almost every week. I don’t know any priests well and I’m not a huge fan of talking to them in the first place. I can never tell which ones are going to get annoyed/irritated, or try to make a bigger deal out of the situation than it is, or whatever. If I can get an answer without doing that, I would like to.

 

[z_0101]

Butaperson:
IMHO: Pianestclare has hit the nail on the head here.
The suggestion by Inquiringperson is a very good one; however, I understand how you feel about talking to the priests as I am a convert myself.

What I suggest: Take this to the confessional, IMHO you’ve not mortally sinned (if sinned at all); however, by taking this to the confessional you have a way to ensure that there was no sin, to be forgiven if there was a sin, a “safe” setting to discuss this with a priest, and to move on with your life. Be careful not to fall in to the trap of Scrupulosity: (The Occupational Hazard of the Catholic Moral Life) it is very easy to fall victim to this trap laid by the devil.

Personally, I try to avoid foul language, fail often because I have toddlers and young children in my house and often work with children thru our catechesis programs. I try to avoid blasphemy (invoking the Lord’s name without just cause/reason) because it breaks the commandment to not use the Lord’s name in vain (that is a sin BTW - mortal in that doing so can break one of the commandments).

 

[pianistclare]

I know this is the clearest answer but the thing is, I don’t really have “a pastor”. I go to a different church almost every week. I don’t know any priests well and I’m not a huge fan of talking to them in the first place. I can never tell which ones are going to get annoyed/irritated, or try to make a bigger deal out of the situation than it is, or whatever. If I can get an answer without doing that, I would like to.

I don’t think a priest can make a “bigger deal out of it”.
Clearly you are accustomed to it. This is a problem.
To take it to the confessional is a great idea.
Do that.
It seems by the way this reply is worded that you don’t believe it to be a big deal, or one that doesn’t require much effort on your part.
But as we both said, it’s a big issue. Ask yourself…
"Would any of the Saints use this kind of language in heaven? That’s our goal destination. Surely not. Nor on earth either. We should model our behavior and lives on those holy men and women who have already passed the test, so to speak. Indeed, this would not be the way Christ Himself speaks. We are to be like Him.
Confess it, and resolve to do better. Try your hardest.
I might add, that while many people seem OK with it…in the professional world it’s a big no-no. Companies don’t want to hire people who swear, Women don’t like to date guys who cuss. When you marry…how much harder is it going to be to stop when you have a baby? Believe me, they parrot whatever you say.

 

[Butaperson]

I don’t think a priest can make a “bigger deal out of it”.
Clearly you are accustomed to it. This is a problem.
To take it to the confessional is a great idea.
Do that.
It seems by the way this reply is worded that you don’t believe it to be a big deal, or one that doesn’t require much effort on your part.
But as we both said, it’s a big issue. Ask yourself…
"Would any of the Saints use this kind of language in heaven? That’s our goal destination. Surely not. Nor on earth either. We should model our behavior and lives on those holy men and women who have already passed the test, so to speak. Indeed, this would not be the way Christ Himself speaks. We are to be like Him.
Confess it, and resolve to do better. Try your hardest.
I might add, that while many people seem OK with it…in the professional world it’s a big no-no. Companies don’t want to hire people who swear, Women don’t like to date guys who cuss. When you marry…how much harder is it going to be to stop when you have a baby? Believe me, they parrot whatever you say.

I mean, I get what you’re saying. I agree that there are a lot of situations in which swearing is offensive, blasphemous, or unprofessional. But I also think there are situations in which it’s not. Is it a sin to curse, just to yourself, when you stub your toe?Is it ok to use curse words just to emphasize things (that was f----ing awesome!) around people who are comfortable and ok with it? I wouldn’t swear around teachers, or use swear words against people, or in relation to serious/sacred things. But in a strictly casual setting around my peers who sprinkle curse words like glitter (again, not against people), or when I’m alone and just frustrated…I don’t see the problem tbh.
Also if it matters. I’m a woman, I’m not planning on marriage or children but if I were to ever meet a guy that could be a husband-candidate it wouldn’t matter at all to me if he swore or not.

 

[pianistclare]

The situation is not what makes it bad.
It’s not a wise of worthy endeavor.
You make an assumption that it’s necessary at times, like stubbing your toe.
No it’s not necessary. When did “OW” go out of fashion? What is enough? Do expletives make anyone feel better? Or do they simply shock and assault the ear?

Swearing will eventually matter to you. You’ll tire of it. People who swear as part of “who they are” eventually become very dull and uninspiring. It may take a long time if you’re already immune to its vulgarities. Also, in a very real way, once you get start cursing, many words become ordinary. “F-ing” anything is inappropriate. I can’t think of one solitary reason to ever use that word. Even if “joking”. I realize a lot of comedians wouldn’t even have an act if they didn’t drop the f bomb. When you marry, you’ll be really hurt if your hubs says that to you in anger. And if you date someone who says that to you routinely, he has no respect for you as a person.
People need to retain their dignity.

Ask yourself. What does this word add to my credibility or makes me sound smart?