Taking Communion..Not in State of Grace

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Hi, I’ve a question…

How serious is it to take communion when not in the state of grace? I don’t really want to take it when I’m not in the state of grace, but I don’t know what else to do when my family is present. If I didn’t walk up to take communion, I’m afraid that I’d be judged and interrogated by my parents…and if I told them the reason for not taking communion, they’d be even more judgemental about it.
 
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Max:
Hi, I’ve a question…

How serious is it to take communion when not in the state of grace? I don’t really want to take it when I’m not in the state of grace, but I don’t know what else to do when my family is present. If I didn’t walk up to take communion, I’m afraid that I’d be judged and interrogated by my parents…and if I told them the reason for not taking communion, they’d be even more judgemental about it.
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If you are in a state of mortal sin and you knowingly, in that state, receive communion, you could end up loosing your salvation.

You can go up and instead of receiving, you can cross your arms on your chest and be blessed instead.

I would hope your parents would not interrogate (your words) you, if they asked, you could simply tell them you need to go to confession before you receive Communion.

Have you considered talking to your parents (at least one of them) now and explain that you really need/want to go to confession before your next Mass?

SV
 
If you are in a state of mortal sin and you knowingly, in that state, receive communion, you could end up loosing your salvation.
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Jeez, really? I’m guilty of having done so many many times 😦 …I mean, I admit I knew it was bad, but wow…
You can go up and instead of receiving, you can cross your arms on your chest and be blessed instead.
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I could do that? I thought only unbaptized people did that…
Have you considered talking to your parents (at least one of them) now and explain that you really need/want to go to confession before your next Mass?
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Well, no, I hadn’t considered that…still, I wouldn’t know how to say it without sounding guilty. It’s a hassle for me when I do go to confession-I usually have to escape the house very quickly and hurry up when I’m walking that mile before the half hour period in which confession is held to get there in time!
 
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Max:
Jeez, really? I’m guilty of having done so many many times 😦 …I mean, I admit I knew it was bad, but wow…

I could do that? I thought only unbaptized people did that…

Well, no, I hadn’t considered that…still, I wouldn’t know how to say it without sounding guilty. It’s a hassle for me when I do go to confession-I usually have to escape the house very quickly and hurry up when I’m walking that mile before the half hour period in which confession is held to get there in time!
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Yeah…the Bible talks about those who receive unworthily bring about their own damnation…so we must be very careful we are in a state of Grace when we receive.

Yep I’ve done it (receive the blessing) when I haven’t been able to go to confession, it’s not uncommon to see that in our parish, from those who aren’t old enough to make their first communion or those in RCIA (it doesn’t have anything to do with being unbaptized actually…the crossing your arms on your chest).

Well since I don’t know your parents or your relationship with them…but why would they have a problem with you going to confession?

In a sense you are ‘guilty’ …of sin…but then we all are at times, you aren’t alone.

Pray about it, and then consider talking to your parents about going to confession 🙂

SV
 
Well since I don’t know your parents or your relationship with them…but why would they have a problem with you going to confession?
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Well, because we basically never go to confession…and for them to know that I go would raise suspiscion. Yes, I know that I’m guilty of sin…but I’m afraid they wouldn’t be as forgiving or forgetful as the Lord is, and would put more pressure on me.
 
How about breaking the Eucharistic Fast? If you have not yet gone to Confession and cannot receive Communion, have something to eat right before you leave for Mass. Then if someone asks why you didn’t go, you can give a valid reason without disclosing the state of your soul. Because after a couple of weeks, people won’t believe you really keep forgetting to fast for an hour, this won’t work forever, so do get to confession very soon. Of course if you’re not in a state of grace, you should run, not walk, to confession anyway!

You said your family never goes to Confession - perhaps you can be the leader. Without saying how desperate you are to return to the state of grace, you could suggest that, since you’ve been reading the Catholic Answers Forums, you want to take your faith more seriously - and wouldn’t they like to join you?? If not, you can go anyway without sneaking around.

God bless you!
Betsy
 
How about breaking the Eucharistic Fast? If you have not yet gone to Confession and cannot receive Communion, have something to eat right before you leave for Mass. Then if someone asks why you didn’t go, you can give a valid reason without disclosing the state of your soul. Because after a couple of weeks, people won’t believe you really keep forgetting to fast for an hour, this won’t work forever, so do get to confession very soon. Of course if you’re not in a state of grace, you should run, not walk, to confession anyway!
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You said your family never goes to Confession - perhaps you can be the leader. Without saying how desperate you are to return to the state of grace, you could suggest that, since you’ve been reading the Catholic Answers Forums, you want to take your faith more seriously - and wouldn’t they like to join you?? If not, you can go anyway without sneaking around.
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God bless you Betsy, that’s brilliant! And don’t worry, the situation I’m finding myself in is an uncommon one…we’ll be leaving tomorrow for a relative’s wedding, thus leaving me no chance to go to confession. I’ll be sure to bring a snack along on the ride, and it’s actually like me to do something like that anyway.

Also, as for your second suggestion to be the “leader”…that should work out pretty well, since I’ve been telling my mom about how I started posting and doing Catholic research on sites like these anyway. Also, it would be a relief from having to sneak around all the time, trying to persuade them to let me leave the house because “I’m so incredibly bored here, and I already did a lot of work anyway.” (which is true, of course. I am bored there 😃 )

Thanks again for the tips though. Ah, how did I survive without the guidance offered by these forums…
 
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Max:
God bless you Betsy, that’s brilliant! And don’t worry, the situation I’m finding myself in is an uncommon one…

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Actually, it seems to be a very common situation. Many of my friends in college do it regularly. Unfortunately for them, it is not out of ignorance of the eternal consequences of the action. These people are well-catechized Catholics who have deliberately fallen away to persue their own pleasures (most have plenty of reasons why they won’t go to confession. Drugs, premarital sex…). You were a victim of ignorance but now you know. If only my friends would sign on to this forum…

For the time being, make a sincere act of perfect contrition, for the sake of your soul! You must try to never worry about what other people think of your piety. If you want to be a faithful Catholic, that is your right. All you need to be concerned about is what Jesus thinks. I was received into the Church this past Easter while I was away at college. My parents are extremely anti-Catholic (for very different reasons. My dad sorta follows Voltaire’s school of thinking and my mother is a devout Lutheran from an ultraconservative Lutheran body) and I get flak for doing things like going to confession/daily Mass a LOT. But I don’t let it bother me.

Jesus said “Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake” You must never forget that. If your family mocks you or finds it puzzling that you go to Confession so much, remind them that they are probably not candidates for Canonization, either…
 
Bro why dont you just get to confession right now instead of writing about how you need to get to confession?

Then you dont have to worry about this anymore, repent of your sin and you will be forgiving . YOU HAVENT LOST YOUR SALVATION PERMANTLY LIKE SHE SAID, THATS FROM SATAN DONT LISTEN TO HER.

Get to confession and you will be back in the state of grace.

God bless
 
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SoulRebel777:
Bro why dont you just get to confession right now instead of writing about how you need to get to confession?

Then you dont have to worry about this anymore, repent of your sin and you will be forgiving . YOU HAVENT LOST YOUR SALVATION PERMANTLY LIKE SHE SAID, THATS FROM SATAN DONT LISTEN TO HER.

Get to confession and you will be back in the state of grace.

God bless
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First off you are misrepresenting what I said, go re-read my original comments. I assure you that what I said is in line with Church teaching, you can look it up if you like.

I would appreciate a retraction of your comment.

SV
 
Taking Communion while in a state of mortal sin compounds the sin. I’ve done it… then found out how bad it was and so haven’t taken Communion for the past month or so… and I’m leaving for confession in 2 and a half hours so I’ll be all sorted out and forgiven and back in a state of grace. Try reading the homily at frbeaudet.net/homilies_easter_6sunc_16may04.htm

It gives a very complete review of how dangerous it is to receive in a state of sin.
 
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Max:
I’m afraid that I’d be judged and interrogated by my parents…
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There used to be a time when I’d see lots of people not taking communion b/c they knew enough about the sacrament to know that if they haven’t had confession or did their penance, they shouldn’t take communion.
I think that is forgotten with such a lack of catechesis and the general prayer for forgiveness in each Mass - people seem to think that covers it!

In any case, I’d be less worried about people’s judgements (which I bet most people are less judgemental than you think!) and just know in your heart that God knows and appreciates your consideration! 👍 Good luck!! 🙂
 
St Veronica:
I would appreciate a retraction of your comment.
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Let’s not start playing games, let’s settle the misunderstanding.

SV said that if you knowingly receiving in a state of mortal sin, you could lose your salvation. A sacrilegious Communion is yet another mortal sin, so if you should die before getting into Confession, then yes your very salvation is at risk.

SR777 seems to have misread this to mean that you could lose your salvation* even if you do confess it*. I’m sure that is not what SV meant. SR777, please give people the benefit of the doubt before you decide that their remarks are “from Satan”.

But we all agree that a good Confession makes everything right again, that if you are not properly disposed you must stay away no matter what anyone else thinks, and that avoiding Confession when you need it is just plain wrong, no matter what anyone else thinks. Right?
 
I’m guessing that your parish has confession right before Sat. evening Mass, if so just tell your parents that you want to go to Mass on Sat. instead of Sun. morning and get there early and go to confession before Mass starts. Or you can always call your priest and schedule a confession with him.
 
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Max:
Well, no, I hadn’t considered that…still, I wouldn’t know how to say it without sounding guilty. It’s a hassle for me when I do go to confession-I usually have to escape the house very quickly and hurry up when I’m walking that mile before the half hour period in which confession is held to get there in time!
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Tell them you want to follow the teaching of the Holy Father. He has recommended frequent confession, so you feel it might be a good idea. The invite your parents to go also (ask them something like: "By the way, how long has it been since you have gone? Why don’t you go with me?) They might surprise you.

John
 
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baltobetsy:
How about breaking the Eucharistic Fast? If you have not yet gone to Confession and cannot receive Communion, have something to eat right before you leave for Mass.
Betsy
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Great idea Betsy (at least for a temporary solution.

The only problem I can see with this idea is this: How many people who regularly receive communion without going to confession are going to worry about fasting one hour before receiving communion?
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baltobetsy:
You said your family never goes to Confession - perhaps you can be the leader.
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I would suggest this to anybody who finds he (or she) is the only person in the family who is practicing frequent confessions. I used it with my wife once and, you know? it works… If I had read your post before answering, I would probably not have posted anything. As it was, I didn’t read it, and posted the same idea.

One MAJOR problem with suggestions from me, though. I am the first to admit that I do not really know the situation in the States. Here where I live (especially in my parish) hour and a half Masses are not uncommon. Confession lines are long :clapping: . Confessions are often heard 8 hours/day 5 days/week as well as before all Masses :dancing: . The idea of people walking into the church just as the priest starts the procession:rolleyes: , while not unheard of, is not all that usual (at least where I go to church). In fact, our pastor has been known to mention the names of offenders. I am getting the impression that this situation is not very common in the States.

John
 
Don’t be lost in your fear of losing salvation. The more that you know, the more you’re held accountable for. God knows your heart, and to me, it seems pretty set on doing the right thing. He loves you and knows your intent. My suggestion is, as above, go to a priest (call to schedule a confession when it’s convenient for you) and also to discuss your current dilemma.

Jesus says in the bible that blessed are those who choose the narrow gate. Sometimes to withstand the pain of humiliation from our parents reactions is in itself a sacrifice. To follow Christ is to suffer. God knows your concern in offending Him. Good for you for being on the path so early in your life. Some of us have stumbled on this sin many times, and probably still do. Just remember the just man falls seven times a day.

You’ll figure out a way to make it work. That’s the Holy Spirit in you.
 
You have a great opportunity to do some witnessing here! Tell your parents that the Catholic Answers forum is full of people recommending regular confession and that you want to start doing this maybe monthly. While you’re talking about confession you can talk about going before receiving Communion and about not discussing what you confessed. Your confession is your own, and only your confessor should be questioning you about it.
 
I didn’t walk up to take communion, I’m afraid that I’d be judged and interrogated by my parents…

I understand your reticence. We always and kinda need our parents’ approval…no matter what the age. That is why they are our parents! Although I have read the other posts and they are good, I would like just to add one thing.

Are you more afraid of being judged by your parents or more afraid of offending God? Even in the possibility of losing our soul? For the rest of your eternal life? Just something to think about. St Paul does mention that:

Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.
But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup.
For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.
For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.
ICor11:27-30
…it’s tough, but it is real…:blessyou:

Blessings,
Shoshana
 
I went to cofession today. It’s not bad really in my book. It clenses the soul and while you may feel scared or shaken during the experiance (as if going through a semi-exorcism for me) but afterwards you feel better as you confesss to God all your wrongs and you acknowledge the fact that you (like everyone else) aren’t God, and this not perfect.

People went to Jesus and asked for forgiveness or help to be cured OUT IN THE OPEN with others present. Let’s follow the model of Christ and his early followers and at the very least confess in a semi-private manner as He died for our sins and salvation.
 
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