Taking God's name in vain

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I’d like some advice about how to deal with a situation with my mother. She’s got a habit of using God’s name in vain. (Or at least, that’s how I interpret it.) Something spills at the dinner table, and she’s exclaiming “oh my God!” Or one of the kids falls down, or whatever the case may be.

Normally I just try and ignore the behavior, but I’ve noticed that my five year old has picked up the phrase from her. I’ve explained to him that it’s not appropriate for DS to use God’s name that way. We should be respectful of God and treat his name respectfully, so we should only use His name when we are praying to Him or having a talk about Him. And of course, he brings up, “but Grandma said it at dinner last night!” So then we had a talk about Grandma being an adult and being able to make her own rules, whereas DS must follow his parents’ rules. We also talked about how DS should try to focus on his own behavior and not worry about others.

It’s very difficult to keep DS from saying it when he hears my mom say it, though. Kids learn more by what they observe people doing than by what you say to them. I’m not sure how to tactfully bring it up with her, either. I’m not even sure if there *is *a tactful way to bring it up with her. Mom has a habit of getting defensive if anyone dare suggest that she change any of her behaviors, so I really would like to avoid putting it to her in a way that would make her feel like I’m attacking her. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation? Is it better for me to just keep trying to explain to DS that he needs to focus on himself and follow my rules, or would it be worth having a conversation with my mom about her behavior in front of the kids?
 
How old is your son? And how often does he see your mom? I will tell you the truth, I do not like to hear people exclaim “Oh my God!” but on the scale of things, I would rather hear that than, “Jesus Christ!” spoken as a curse, or worst of all, g-d. Not that your mom doesn’t need to clean up her language, she does.

Can you make it a sort of joke with your son? Like, make up some funny phrase he can say instead of what Granny says? “Jumpin’ Jehosophat!” or, “Buckwheat Pancakes!” or any number of 2 or 3 word phrases. Kids love that sort of private joke between you, it makes them feel adult and special. He might even teach it to Granny!

🙂
 
TheRealJuliane said:
How old is your son? And how often does he see your mom? I will tell you the truth, I do not like to hear people exclaim “Oh my God!” but on the scale of things, I would rather hear that than, “Jesus Christ!” spoken as a curse, or worst of all, g-d. Not that your mom doesn’t need to clean up her language, she does.

Can you make it a sort of joke with your son? Like, make up some funny phrase he can say instead of what Granny says? “Jumpin’ Jehosophat!” or, “Buckwheat Pancakes!” or any number of 2 or 3 word phrases. Kids love that sort of private joke between you, it makes them feel adult and special. He might even teach it to Granny!

🙂
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He’s five, and he’s got ADHD so he somewhat lacks a filter on the type of things he’ll repeat. 😛 We’re currently living with my parents (desperately looking for new housing) so being with her is an everyday thing. She doesn’t say it every day, though. It seems to be one of those things that pops out as an overreaction to something. It’s ironic, though. She seems to have no problem with saying that, but she’ll bring the wrath of God down on my dad or DH if they say some other four-letter cuss word in front of the kids. :rolleyes:

The joking thing might work for DS, though. He loves being silly! We’ll have to try and think of something funny to suggest for him the next time it pops out of his mouth.
 
Juliane,

My preteen and I have some lovely made-up swears! His personal favorite is “pork chop sandwiches!”

I’m having to deprogram my stepson. I was raised that you did not take the Lord’s name in vain, and, even as an atheist, I didn’t do it. My husband gets irate when the kids say “****” but he’s been chastised more than a few times for saying “JC” in public. And we’re in the South… You just don’t do that.

Funny, my daughter’s friend was threatened with getting kicked out of the Anglican youth group for taking the Lord’s name in vain, until her mother retorted with a different view of that Commandment. It’s a newer interpretation and apparently many more liberal Christians believe the Commandment only means not to take a false oath. The kid is now allowed to do as she pleases. :rolleyes:

So… what a touchy subject.

I’m with the OP on this. I think Grandma should watch her tongue around the kiddos. It’s only respectful, as I often tell my stepson. 👍 However, you can’t control others and I have to think of the Serenity Prayer often during the day!
 
If he can’t stop, he can try “oh my goodness!”, instead.
 
SurlyMermaid said:
Juliane,

I’m with the OP on this. I think Grandma should watch her tongue around the kiddos. It’s only respectful, as I often tell my stepson. 👍 However, you can’t control others and I have to think of the Serenity Prayer often during the day!
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I love that prayer, in fact I have it hanging on the wall in my bathroom. I figure that we all spend enough time in there throughout the day, it’s a nice reminder!

Although I still sometimes struggle with putting into practice the “wisdom to know the difference” part. Which is where my struggle comes in about telling Mom to zip it or telling DS to focus on his own behavior.
 
Is Granny OK with hearing her grandson exclaim, “Oh my GOD!” in context? If she thinks it’s funny, you’re doomed.

How is the house hunt coming along? I hope you have a moving date to look forward to!

🙂
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Is Granny OK with hearing her grandson exclaim, “Oh my GOD!” in context? If she thinks it’s funny, you’re doomed.

How is the house hunt coming along? I hope you have a moving date to look forward to!

🙂
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It hasn’t gone anywhere yet, but we’re in the middle of a Novena to St. Joseph for help!

We’re on a waiting list for an apartment, we’re searching Craigslist daily, but no rentals have popped up. We’ve still got our Realtor sending us listings as new ones are popping up, but there’s not a whole lot to choose from. The “new” listings that are coming up now are just the people whose home didn’t sell last year but they took it off the market for the winter. So as of right now, we feel like we’ve seen everything that we can in our price range… we’e still hopeful that something will show up soon! Our market is just really dry right now. 🤷
 
SummerSmiles said:
I’d like some advice about how to deal with a situation with my mother. She’s got a habit of using God’s name in vain. (Or at least, that’s how I interpret it.) Something spills at the dinner table, and she’s exclaiming “oh my God!” Or one of the kids falls down, or whatever the case may be.
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I think that as long as the intention is pure everything should be ok. If it is a form of ventilation, then I don’t see the problem. As long as your mother is not using it in a harmful or offensive way then Gods name is kept safe and clean. That’s my way of seeing it. I hope this helps.

In another way of putting it, society just has the habit of doing it. There has to be more respect when you reference God for He is our creator and giver of life. Lets just be more careful in our language and the kind of dialect that we use when talking about our beloved God. Peace and good for all.👍
 
SummerSmiles said:
I’d like some advice about how to deal with a situation with my mother. She’s got a habit of using God’s name in vain. (Or at least, that’s how I interpret it.) Something spills at the dinner table, and she’s exclaiming “oh my God!” Or one of the kids falls down, or whatever the case may be.

Normally I just try and ignore the behavior, but I’ve noticed that my five year old has picked up the phrase from her. I’ve explained to him that it’s not appropriate for DS to use God’s name that way. We should be respectful of God and treat his name respectfully, so we should only use His name when we are praying to Him or having a talk about Him. And of course, he brings up, “but Grandma said it at dinner last night!” So then we had a talk about Grandma being an adult and being able to make her own rules, whereas DS must follow his parents’ rules. We also talked about how DS should try to focus on his own behavior and not worry about others.

It’s very difficult to keep DS from saying it when he hears my mom say it, though. Kids learn more by what they observe people doing than by what you say to them. I’m not sure how to tactfully bring it up with her, either. I’m not even sure if there *is *a tactful way to bring it up with her. Mom has a habit of getting defensive if anyone dare suggest that she change any of her behaviors, so I really would like to avoid putting it to her in a way that would make her feel like I’m attacking her. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation? Is it better for me to just keep trying to explain to DS that he needs to focus on himself and follow my rules, or would it be worth having a conversation with my mom about her behavior in front of the kids?
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I’m ashamed to say that I have often taken God’s name in vain. When I think of it, I try to say this often: Admirable is the Name of God.

Our Lord told Sr. Marie of St. Peter on March 16, 1844, “Oh if you only knew what great merit you acquire by saying even once, ‘Admirable is the Name of God,’ in the spirit of reparation for blasphemy.” (say often).

olrl.org/pray/holy_face.shtml

7dolors.com/page4holyface.htm
 
Summer,

It may be best to confirm with you Priest as he would know best. But my view is that if she is not saying it in a vulgar type of tone on response I do not think that she is taking the Lords name in vain. Some of the other examples that people have shown could be.

But I have heard at least one person say “Oh my sweet Jesus”, I do not believe that is taking our Lords name in vain as it is not said in anger or in a vulgar manner. Other wise it could be the same when we say that “Jesus is Lord”, we profess the truth and it is said in respect.

Just my thoughts though.

May God Bless and Keep you.
 
uh oh, my mother uses this alll the time too. Just like your mother, if something falls or shes explaining something someone said she will say it. I kinda cringe when she does because I want to tell her to stop using it so much, but I never speak up 😊. My children because of her started to use it too last year, 10, 8 and 6 at the time where their ages. When I would hear them I would firmly tell them that never to say that again never say God next to those words because he don’t like that. Of coarse I probably shouldn’t be saying God don’t like it but I had no idea what else to say and I recall it in the bible not to use his name in vain so I guess I take it as it would make him bad. Anywho, this worked! My children who fear God stopped saying it, I told them instead to say “Oh my gosh” since it’s soo close. Since then this is what they use, My mother continues to say it the other way but my children pay no attention to is other then to tell me later when she leaves that God is probably mad at her and why does she keep saying it. Glad this was brought up because it helped me to realize I shouldn’t just let it go, I need to tell her how I feel :).

-Nicki
 
ive always replaced anyword with gosh - oh my gosh - gosh darnit

and then Jiminy Crickets
 
Winter_Warlock said:
Summer,

It may be best to confirm with you Priest as he would know best. But my view is that if she is not saying it in a vulgar type of tone on response I do not think that she is taking the Lords name in vain. Some of the other examples that people have shown could be.

But I have heard at least one person say “Oh my sweet Jesus”, I do not believe that is taking our Lords name in vain as it is not said in anger or in a vulgar manner. Other wise it could be the same when we say that “Jesus is Lord”, we profess the truth and it is said in respect.

Just my thoughts though.

May God Bless and Keep you.
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Well, I do see the difference between an exclamation and saying it in a more vulgar manner… Being raised in Catholic schools, this was just one of the BIG things that we were absolutely NOT allowed to say. The basic rule of thumb was that God’s name should be reserved for things like worship or instruction, and not cheapened into some casual exclamation. After years of being told that, it just makes me cringe every time I hear it.

I just don’t get the impression that when milk spills all over the dinner table, “oh my God” is being used in a particularly respectful manner… especially when it’s accompanied by an exasperated sigh and eyeroll. You know?
 
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