Taking my children to a baby shower for an unwed mother?

[joly]

My sisters and I are throwing a baby shower for my cousins daughter, who is not married to the father. I’m not sure how we were put in charge of it, I think my mother or one of my sisters said we would do it, We are driving about 2.5 hours to do this. I thought since the child and possible even the mother might not be there, this child is premature and still in the hospital, that it would be ok to take my 8 year old and 10 year old daughters. This would help my husband who will stay at home with the boys. Then come to find out that there will also be a lesbian couple there. I have never met them so I do not know “gay” they act. Sorry I did not know how to phrase that.
I don’t know if I am over reacting or not. If I leave them home my mother will and other family members will want to know why. I could lie to or make an excuse for them not being there or tell the truth, in the most charitable why I know how, and be called judgemental. Then I’m sure hurtful words will be said.
Any advice would be helpful.

 

[mommy_k]

For the first part-the unwed mother-she should be celebrated for choosing life, and a baby is always a blessing. This Is a teachable moment.
For the lesbian couuple being there, I would think that they will go unnoticed as it is a party with all women.
I think your family should have asked you before committing you to this though, because of the distance.

 

[robwar]

My sisters and I are throwing a baby shower for my cousins daughter, who is not married to the father. I’m not sure how we were put in charge of it, I think my mother or one of my sisters said we would do it, We are driving about 2.5 hours to do this. I thought since the child and possible even the mother might not be there, this child is premature and still in the hospital, that it would be ok to take my 8 year old and 10 year old daughters. This would help my husband who will stay at home with the boys. Then come to find out that there will also be a lesbian couple there. I have never met them so I do not know “gay” they act. Sorry I did not know how to phrase that.
I don’t know if I am over reacting or not. If I leave them home my mother will and other family members will want to know why. I could lie to or make an excuse for them not being there or tell the truth, in the most charitable why I know how, and be called judgemental. Then I’m sure hurtful words will be said.
Any advice would be helpful.

That is nice of you to throw a shower and be willing to drive 2.5 hours to do it. I would image that the lesbian couple is a friend of the cousin? I guess I probably wouldn’t worry about, this doesn’t mean you have to sit with them especially since you don’t know them. Unless you have control over who is being invited, I would just focus on what you have to do and the reason for it since this is a premie baby and rather serious. In anything like showers, weddings etc and so on, unless you are in control of the invitations, there is no way that anyone can possible worry about what kinds of people are invited or coming. I don’t think your daughters are going to be harmed and they don’t have to be pointed out and you don’t have to sit with them. I think once we start rejecting people publicly in refusing to go to family things etc because there might be a “gay” person or whatever there can come across a snobby and this won’t build the bridges that sometimes people like this may need to return to faith or moral living.

 

[Jon_S_1]

For the first part-the unwed mother-she should be celebrated for choosing life, and a baby is always a blessing. This Is a teachable moment.
For the lesbian couuple being there, I would think that they will go unnoticed as it is a party with all women.
I think your family should have asked you before committing you to this though, because of the distance.

 

[tawny]

For the first part-the unwed mother-she should be celebrated for choosing life, and a baby is always a blessing. This Is a teachable moment.
For the lesbian couuple being there, I would think that they will go unnoticed as it is a party with all women.
I think your family should have asked you before committing you to this though, because of the distance.

Agree.

 

[VanSensei]

My sisters and I are throwing a baby shower for my cousins daughter, who is not married to the father. I’m not sure how we were put in charge of it, I think my mother or one of my sisters said we would do it, We are driving about 2.5 hours to do this. I thought since the child and possible even the mother might not be there, this child is premature and still in the hospital, that it would be ok to take my 8 year old and 10 year old daughters. This would help my husband who will stay at home with the boys. Then come to find out that there will also be a lesbian couple there. I have never met them so I do not know “gay” they act. Sorry I did not know how to phrase that.
I don’t know if I am over reacting or not. If I leave them home my mother will and other family members will want to know why. I could lie to or make an excuse for them not being there or tell the truth, in the most charitable why I know how, and be called judgemental. Then I’m sure hurtful words will be said.
Any advice would be helpful.

I’d just be happy you’re invited despite the distance. The lesbian couple, if they know anything about being cordial and being in polite company, wouldn’t kiss or make it known they’re a couple.

 

[Sunbreak]

I wouldn’t worry about taking them to the baby shower. The focus will be on the party for the mother-to-be. Besides, you can’t hide things from your children forever. Would you not go into a grocery store because a lesbian couple was in there?

 

[joly]

Thanks for the advice.

 

[djames99]

You could mail a gift and make an excuse.

The problem is today people have no qualms expressing their deviant affections in public. Two HS exchanging passionate kisses is hard to explain to children in front of them without danger of a confrontation. Not even tact is appropriate in such situations where the very young are involved. I wouldn’t chance it. If there is a fault, then it had it’s birth somewhere in the past when someone decided to take on friends who were questionable and non stable in their faith.

Don’t worry about being called judgmental(which to teh secular world today really means critical). What you are being is cautious. Good for you for being alert and anticipating. Your concerns are valid.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

It sounds like there would not be an issue if either:
a) the children were not attending or b) the lesbian couple was not attending.

Since all you have control over is (a), it seems that leaving the children at home with their siblings and your husband is the only variable you can control.

If you choose to attend with your children, then you need to be prepared with some “explanation” if indeed there is some behavior that occurs at the event which you do not condone.